Somewhere Only We Know
By: TMG/Date: 1-18-06/Characters: Derek & Izzie
Disclaimer:
I do not own these characters. This is done out of total fandom only. No infringement intended.
This is a first draft for Ch.4, and may change a bit later on, or not. LoL. So check back again.
I'll make sure to make a note of it here if there are any major shifts, etc.
Also, any extraneous updates you can find on Gossamer Dreams: A Derek Izzie Fan Site.
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CHAPTER FOUR
The atmosphere felt more potent than the bottle of 151 behind the bar as Izzie looked at Derek. Quiet until the waitress arrived, the two appeared locked in a silent combat.
"Four shots of whiskey for you two, I hope Jameson is okay…you didn't mention a specific," she tilted her head at Izzie who replied with nod.
"Okay then." She shifted her gaze first from Izzie then to Derek before shrugging, and returning back to the bar.
"Here," Izzie placed two shots in front of him, and drew the remaining glasses in front of her; aligned across from one another in a perfect set.
"So what is this?" Derek asked, his gaze transfixed on the pale amber glasses brimmed to the top.
"Call it an incentive, or liquid courage, whatever comes easier, my friend." She folded her hands neatly on the table, "You want to know the truth? Shot for shot. You go first."
"Whoa, wait. Me? I thought I was the one asking the questions?" Derek leaned back in the booth, a smile now unraveled. She amazed him at the same time he felt the sting of betrayal shifting. Meredith is her best friend, apparently. What was he thinking tossing a few shots Izzie's way?
"Exactly! You ask a loaded question, then expect me to let you go first?" She padded the table her hands and shushed him, "Besides, I'm the one buying." She stared at him, eyes sparkling with eagerness.
"Fine, Stevens. I'll go first." He took the first shot, and downed it quickly without thinking twice; like a pro. "There, happy now?" he licked his lips but managed to miss a few drops on his chin.
"I'm surprised, Derek." She quickly reached over and wiped his chin, "I underestimated you." Izzie suddenly held in a breath at their unexpected closeness. Refusing to show her surprise, Izzie kept her eyes locked with his; the sharp green shade mesmerizing him for a moment. "My first question?"
"Yes?" he responded softly before leaning back subtly; pulling away from her trance.
"The old lady, your wife, why'd you leave her? Why lie to Meredith?" Izzie's words bulleted out rapidly before Derek had an opportunity to blink.
"Uh-uh. First, that's more than one question. Secondly, that's way too personal of a question to start with Izzie." He folded his arms and stared down at the table.
"God, it's so like you to itemize your statements. Okay. Fine. I'll rephrase it. Why did you leave her?" Izzie waited for his response while keeping focused on every movement. She was determined to unravel the secret of why men cheated, lied, and were guilt free from the responsibilities of commitment. Dr.McDreamy was the ideal candidate If she was to ever get a chance to get an answer, now was the opportunity.
"What makes you so sure I left her?" he asked simply.
"So it's like that, huh? Obviously, you must have done some-"
"You don't know anything about Addison and me!" Derek's voice boomed as Izzie shrink back in her seat, a look of shock ripped across her face, "She fucked my best friend, Izzie. Not just once, but for over a year." Derek's voice softened as he combed his hand through his hair. Avoiding her gaze he looked to the side across the room; his eyes shifting, struggling to make some sense out of the situation of his marriage. "We worked so long to make our schedules match. We went to counseling before, and I thought we'd hit some breakthrough. Until I came home early one evening."
"And you felt that lurch in your gut." Izzie continued, as her eyes seemed to glaze over staring at Derek,
"You knew things wouldn't be the same once you turn that corner." As he finished he turned up his head to her, a look of sadness and bitterness clenched behind a sideways smile. "And there you have it."
"But why-" Izzie began to ask as Derek pushed her shot slightly closer.
"Your turn." He interrupted leaving her to contemplate a moment; Derek started to feel the effects of the alcohol loosen his inhibitions.
"Okay," she arched her neck, brought the glass to her lips, and downed the shot quickly, "Whew."
" Who left you behind?" he pointedly ask without reserve or care. Derek had just revealed one of his most painful moments, and he would make Izzie's question worth his while.
Leaning back, she tucked one arm about her waist, and the other on the table; her fingers twisting at a piece of napkin beneath her glass, "I was eighteen. My father…heh," Izzie sighed heavily and flicked the frayed piece of tissue, "He worked at this gas station not far from our trailer. My mom, she wasn't home…too busy with her latest psychic friend," she began to tap her fingers on the table, "Then one day. I arrived home early from school." Izzie grabbed the remaining shot on her side, " I found him screwing the local waitress on our makeshift futon." swallowing the drink fast, she failed to skip a beat, "Twisted part of it all?" she shook her head slightly, lips tightly persed, and eyebrows scrunched, " That girl? We worked at the same diner on week-ends. I think was her name was Tammy."
"Izzie, I—" Taken aback, Derek began, but Izzie looked at him deadpan, drawing his words to a hault.
"You want to hear my answer, you'll get it. 'Tammy' was my age, we were in the same cheerleading squad."
"This isn't necessary--" Derek found his voice again but was cut off . He wanted to avert the train wreck of emotions between them; let Izzie know he understood the line he crossed with her, but it was too late.
"I quit the day after I found her with my dad. Things were never the same." Izzie could see it now. The look of horror on her father's sweaty face, and the upturn smile on the slut's mouth. Oh the memory became vivid now, and felt as strong as the day it happened. Izzie tried not to close her eyes, but the images and sounds; the screaming, the yelling, the apologies, and the precise moment when she flung the girl across the hall came at her with a rush.
"Izzie," Derek's voice almost sounded soft, "I'm--"
"Sorry?" she finished, "Hate saying it don't you? But it's what people say when they lose the appropriate words...when they're glad it's you and not them. Listen, what happened with you and your wife is horrible. What happened to me was traumatic. I get that now. It doesn't make the pain less real for us. Yet I'm not sorry for you. I'm relieved because at least now I know you're not dreamy or perfect. You're just as screwed up as the rest of us." Izzie spoke without the slight bit of reluctance as she recalled the aftermath of her father's affair; her mother cooped up in the bathroom with pills in her hands; popping one for every regret and betrayal she ever encountered.
"My mom took to the bottle, and began her long journey into financial debt." It took months for Izzie to get her checked into the local rehab clinic across town. Looking over at Derek, Izzie tried to smile but couldn't hold back a moment longer; a tear slipped down her face, as she simply looked at him.
There were no real answers, just moments that lead to better or worse. Tonight she couldn't tell anymore. Izzie wanted to hate Derek, the cheater and liar. She wanted to point the finger and condemn him completely. But everyone has their secrets, and slowly she saw his faced slip into a reflection of a man exhausted and lonely.
In a strange unraveling of sorts, Izzie felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. She had never divulged any information about herself since interning at Seattle Grace. She was too busy 'being there' for Meredith, and George. Alex was just another anomaly for her, so she paid him no mind.
Derek, on the other hand, she appreciated because of his work, and knowledge. Up until discovering the little indiscretion between him and Meredith, Izzie would have almost considered him a friend. Yet the sudden rapid turn of events this evening made him her sudden confidant; that fact unnerved her.
"Hey," Without thinking twice, Derek leaned in, reached over and placed his hand over hers, "I've still got one shot. Go on, ask me another question." he urged Izzie as he rubbed his thumb against the against the softness of her skin.
"Good." She laughed, pulling back from his hold to wipe the tears from her face, "If you could do anything at this one moment, what would do?" Izzie struggled to look optimistic, and did her routine white teeth smile. Averting, and suppressing her growing feeling of awkwardness around him.
"Nice. Safe question. Sure you don't want to know about boxers or briefs?" he teased as the question brought out a smile from her.
"Ohh, you wish!" Izzie let out a laugh.
"Okay, you missed your chance, Miss Stevens. But, for the record, I'm glad you asked," rising from his seat, Derek stretched out a hand to Izzie who appeared dumbfounded.
"What?" she slowly began to stand up, and grab her jacket.
"I'm answering your question." He laughed, wrapping a woolen black scarf around his neck as he put on his coat on. "Oh, and don't worry about the tab. I got it."
"Suit yourself." Izzie shrugged as she now joined his side.
Standing by the doorway, watching Derek leave the waitress a tip, Izzie felt a subtle warmth wash over her. She was actually having fun. Yet, the thought brought a frown. What would she tell Meredith? Should she tell Meredith, or could she trust Derek to be honest with Meredith? Before coming to a conclusion, Derek joined her side.
"Ready?" he asked, hands in his pockets, and shoulders rolled back. He acted more sober than he appeared to Izzie, and it made her laugh.
"Sure as ever…but uh, I hope you don't plan on driving."
"No worries, c'mon let's go."
The foggy streets and cold night air enveloped them as they walked out together. All the while George, whose quiet presence eluded them, watched Derek and Izzie leave for the nearest cab.
(Chapter 5 Coming Soon!)