I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
you take the pain I feel
waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
.
.
.
It's been a week since their war. Vongola survived from that war with a result to be proud of. With the help of the Arcobaleno and the Varia, they managed to turn over the tables and made their enemies run with tail between their legs. The mafia world congratulated their victory, and the name of Vongola continued to bring respect and fear to everyone.
But no one in Vongola – or at least, it's original family members – were proud of their victory. That splendid victory couldn't bring back the life of a certain person they loved and respect.
The victory wouldn't be able to bring back Dino Cavalone from his eternal slumber.
.
.
.
"How is he?" Tsuna asked as Kusakabe got out from Hibari's room. He and the rest of Vongola are there, except for Mukuro.
"He is stable…for now." Kusakabe sighed tiredly, "It's a good thing Yamamoto-san could calm Kyo-san with Rain Flames."
Yamamoto shook his head, "Ah…no, it was thanks to Mukuro. He was the one holding him down and created the chance for me to use the Rain Flame on Hibari."
Lambo looks around, and asked out loud, "Speaking of which, where is he?"
Tsuna looked at Chrome, who was here in Mukuro's place, "Mukuro-sama…is resting in his room right now. The battle against the Cloud Man before was too much for his exhausted and injured body to take anymore."
"I see…" Tsuna nodded and patted Chrome's shoulder, "Please take care of him, Chrome."
Chrome shakes her head, "Mukuro-sama wanted to be alone. He requested me to watch over the Cloud Man's condition."
Tsuna let out a long sigh, "Okay then…I'll also keep watch here with you and Kusakabe-san. Haru, Kyoko-chan…could you please bring us some tea?"
Haru nodded, "Right away, Tsuna-san!" Then the two to away to the kitchen to prepare some tea and snack for everyone.
The other guardians went to pick up some chairs and table. It seemed like it would be a long time before any of them would leave this place. Even though Hibari Kyoya detested crowds, they couldn't leave him alone.
Especially after his outburst three hours ago…
.
.
.
Mukuro covered his eyes with his forearm. He was beyond exhausted…mind, body, and heart.
It had been a hard week for him. It seemed like Tsuna wasn't the only one who saw him leaving Dino alone in that battlefield, and many cruel rumors were spread around inside and outside of the Vongola.
The Cavalone family had been so rough to him that week. Many ill-words and cruel threats were sent to him. It put a heavy pressure on Tsuna too, since the Cavalone Family had demanded a punishment for him. They demanded to send him back to Vendicare, and even if they hadn't been so stupid to threaten the end of the ties between the Vongola and the Cavalone, he could still feel Tsuna's depression. He knew that deep inside, Tsuna couldn't accept Mukuro's choice. He had hoped that Mukuro had stayed and helped Dino, or at least escaped together…even though he knew it was impossible.
Not only the Cavalone family, even the Vongola itself has turned it back against him. He had received cold stares and hushed whispers everytime they saw him. Yamamoto's smile didn't feel as sincere as before, Gokudera's cold glare and silent treatment, Ryohei's sympathetic glance and awkward cheers, Lambo's frightened looks, Tsuna's hesitance, and the girls saddened frowns…only Chrome and the others who still stayed the same even after all that had happened.
But all of it meant nothing. This wasn't the first time he got this kind of treatment … in fact, he liked the distance they created so that he wouldn't be bothered by anyone anymore. He kinds of like the solace from being alone…no wonder Hibari prefered to be alone.
Mukuro gritted his teeth as his thoughts went back to the cold ex-prefect. He still could feel the bruise on his neck and the stinging pain from the bite wound on his shoulder. Good thing that everyone else was there and were still sane enough to help him calm Hibari down.
.
.
.
"Mukuro-sama!" Chrome suddenly burst in the room, looking panicked, "It's bad, Mukuro-sama…!"
"What happened, Chrome?" Mukuro who was reading a book before, closed it and stood up to calm Chrome down.
"It's…the Cloud Man…!" Chrome grasped his arm, "He…one of the doctors told him about the Cavalone boss's death, and…and he…" Chrome tried to calm herself down, "He had gone berserk and destroyed everything in the hospital ward!"
Mukuro's eyes widened in shock. The Mist Guardian's rooms were the farthest from the hospital ward, so it's wasn't weird that he couldn't hear or feel anything that happened there. Mukuro ran to the hospital ward, Chrome following behind him. When he was about to reach the place, he could see the destruction and chaos. He trailed after the hedgehog and found Hibari walking aimlessly as he beat down everyone who dared to cross his path.
"Kyoya!" Hibari stopped when Mukuro called him, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Hibari tilted his head back, until Mukuro couldn't see anything on his face save for eerie calmness, "Mukuro…" a small smirk appeared on the Cloud Guardian's face, "Perfect timing."
Mukuro didn't have enough time to do anything when Hibari suddenly charged to him, slamming his body hard to the wall with the tonfa dangerously pressed hard on his throat, "You must know… which Family that attacked us before."
His head is throbbing from the painful crash before, and with Hibari's face so close to his, Mukuro couldn't calm the loud beating of his heart down. Mukuro averted his eyes, but Hibari's tonfa tilted his chin back that Mukuro couldn't escape from Hibari's emotionless eyes, "Spill it out, Mukuro."
"Why should I?" Mukuro forced a smirk to cover up his crumbling determination, "If I tell you or not, it won't make any difference. I won't gain anything from it."
Hibari looked at him, pondering for a second before he leaned close to Mukuro's ear. Mukuro nearly gasped when he could feel Hibari's hot breath on his ear. He looked around, trying to locate Chrome or anyone else, but found out too late that Roll had propagates and covering them in barrier of spikes that wouldn't let anyone else disturb them.
"I saw you standing there, Mukuro."
Hibari's words shocked him so much, that he couldn't resist when Hibari's other hand caught both of his wrist and to keep them trapped behind him. Hibari nuzzled his neck, and Mukuro's breath hitched as he felt Hibari licking at the skin on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Mukuro tried to pull his hands from Hibari's grasp, but it proved to be hard when Hibari pressed his body closer to him. Hibari pulled away a bit to look at his flushed face. Mukuro averted his attention elsewhere, trying his hardest to not moan as the tonfa was removed from his neck and Hibari's hand trailed from his chest down to his stomach.
"And now I know why." Mukuro almost didn't hear him when Hibari slipped his hand underneath his shirt, "If pain doesn't work on you, might as well try pleasure."
Mukuro bit his lips to muffle the moans when Hibari bit his shoulder hard, lapping up the blood from the wound. Hibari's hand trailed higher, and before he could make another mark on Mukuro he heard Roll's painful squeak. The Cloud Guardian back down from Mukuro a little, and he kicked up his fallen tonfa from the floor, catching it with ease. His other hand released Mukuro's hands, but quickly grasped Mukuro's neck tightly, nearly choking him.
As the barrier of spikes tore down with burst of Sky Flames, Mukuro could see Tsuna and the other Guardians on the other side of the barrier, "Mukuro! Hibari-san!"
"You're disturbing me, Sawada Tsunayoshi." He tightened his hold on Mukuro's neck, making the Mist Guardian gasp in pain, "I was just about to get my answer from him."
"Mukuro-sama!" Chrome took a step forward to rescue her master, but Tsuna stopped her. Chrome looked at both Tsuna and Mukuro worriedly, before nodding and backing down.
Tsuna tried to persuade Hibari, "Hibari-san…please stop this! You will gain nothing from revenge!"
"You can't stop me, Sawada." Hibari's eyes were filled with rage and a grudge, "I will destroy and kill all of them…no one can steal something from me and get away alive."
Gokudera glared at Hibari, "Tenth…it's useless trying to talk to him now. He is blinded with revenge."
Yamamoto whispered low enough so only they could hear it, "If there's an opening, I'll use my Rain Flame to calm Hibari down enough so we can capture him."
Tsuna looked at Mukuro, who was about to faint from the lack of oxygen, "What about Mukuro?"
Yamamoto hesitate, "He'll get some of the Flame too…he is too close to Hibari, so I can't help it."
Tsuna eyed Hibari warily, "Opening…? But how?"
Chrome tugged at Tsuna's sleeve, "Boss...I've told Mukuro-sama about the plan. He said he would help with the opening. But, you need to distract enough to not expect an attack from Mukuro-sama."
Tsuna nodded, "Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto…be ready."
Gokudera and Yamamoto nodded as well, each of them ready in their role. Gokudera went first, he activated the Sistema C.A.I, while Tsuna used the propulsion from his Flame to launch forward and attacked Hibari. Hibari used his tonfa to block Tsuna's fist, calling his box weapon to stab the tenth boss, but Gokudera's shield prevented it. When Mukuro could feel the grip on his neck loosen, he didn't waste any time.
His red eye turned to First Path, and illusions of lotus vine crawled from the floor and intertwined around Hibari's limbs, completely making him immobile. Mukuro tore Hibari's hand away from his neck and shouted, "Now, Yamamoto Takeshi!"
Right on cue, Yamamoto's Kojirou poured tremendous amount of Rain Flame to all of them. Gokudera's shield protected Tsuna from it, but Mukuro and Hibari couldn't shield themselves and the Rain Flames paralyzed their bodies, making them fall to the floor and unconscious.
"Mukuro-sama!" "Hibari-san!"
.
.
.
Mukuro couldn't deny the pleasure he felt when Hibari was touching him so intimately… unlike those accidental touch he used to be content with when he fought with Hibari. The rough kisses on his skin, his wondering hand on his body, and the familiar warmth pooling around his stomach…
Even though his mind was screaming at his foolishness to let himself fall that low, his body and heart accepted it without remorse. He laughed dryly at how desperate he had become, wanting the touch from the man who gave it not because he felt the same way to him, but because he wanted the information only he could give to him, and he would use any kind of ways to get it from him.
Both were desperate, and slowly both were threading a thin line towards insanity. But, he wondered when was I ever sane to begin with?
The moment he had fallen in love with Hibari Kyoya, was the first step he had taken to the path of insanity.
.
.
.
Chrome looked warily to her surroundings and smiled apologetically to everyone that was lying on the floor, deep asleep. Thankfully Boss was out to solve some problems about the repairs on the hospital wards with the Storm Man. It was easy to slip some sleeping pills to the tea with everyone already so tired with all that happened. Her time was limited, there was no telling when Boss and the Storm Man would come back. Chrome hurriedly slide open the door to the Cloud Man bedroom, and she was pleased to find that the other man has already woke up. The bind on his body was the only thing that kept him from destroying everything again.
Chrome took the keys from Kusakabe and in one quick motions, she released the Cloud Man from the chains. She looked at him determinedly, answering the confused look on the other's face, "This is my own wish. Mukuro-sama doesn't know anything about this." She bowed her head low to him, "Please… even though I know that you won't return his feelings…at least let him love you."
Chrome opened the doors quietly, making sure not to waking up the others who were sprawled out on the floor. Hibari followed behind her silently, his mind filled with nothing but suppressed rage. His hands itched to slaughter them, destroy them so thoroughly that there would be nothing left after he was done. He knew that all of the Guardians - who held the information he needed - wouldn't spill anything. Tsuna, most of all, had probably forbade them from telling Hibari anything. But Mukuro...Hibari knew that the two held the least loyalty to the Tenth boss of Vongola, and Hibari now knew which button to push to make Mukuro do what he wanted...
.
.
.
Mukuro sat on the windowsill and doing nothing except gazing silently at the moon that was slowly covered with the dark clouds. It's going to rain tonight… the cold wind brushed his face tenderly, his loose hair dancing around as the wind blew harsher. His fingers brushed the bite mark on his shoulder, memorizing the stinging pain as his eyes slipped closed…letting himself fall to the darkness of his room. He had almost fallen asleep if not for the sound of someone opening his door.
"Chrome?" he whispered, "I already told you to leave me alone." He tilted his head back, and not at least surprised to see Hibari coming in, "Why did you bring him here?" he could feel Hibari coming. His senses had already memorized his aura so much, that he could even feel his presence in his sleep.
Chrome didn't answer from her place outside of the room. She just closed the door and went away, giving them privacy.
"I'm sure that Chrome has said many things to you." He smirked at him, "What are you going to do now?"
Hibari came closer to him, and leaned on the wall next to the illusionist, "Tell me everything you know about them." Those who had killed Dino Cavalone… Mukuro knew too well what Hibari meant by them.
"They are the Occhio Family. Their stronghold are hidden underground, a little city not that far from here. Ken will take you there." Mukuro continued, "With their commanders down and the casualties from the war, they're pretty much weak right now. Another attack and they will be gone. Too bad that Tsunayoshi-kun doesn't approve of useless bloodshed and wanted to end all of this with peace."
Hibari watched him intently, memorizing everything that Mukuro had said. Mukuro didn't look at him, as he keeps his gaze to the scenery outside, "Their boss's name is Illuvia. He didn't join the war before. He is a coward and he is rather weak...even the commander was stronger than him. He doesn't have a heir yet, so if you kill him, the Occhio Family will end this generation."
"That's about all that I know." Mukuro sighed, "Tsunayoshi-kun didn't let me gained too much information about them. Seems like he knew that this would happen." Finally, Mukuro looked at him, "Now that you have what you want, what will you do? If you're going to destroy them I suggest you to be careful with Vendicare, since you're doing this because of your personal revenge. The Vongola isn't responsible with your act of massacre."
That was easier than he had thought...he didn't even have to seduce him like he thought. Chrome already said that Mukuro loved him, enough to betrayed the Vongola and throw away the peaceful life he had now. Something inside him stirred, seeing the glazed eyes of the illusionist he was used to see as a rival...was Mukuro crying? Or was this just an illusion that tried to prevent him from seeing the truth? He stood upright, and take a step closer to Mukuro. His hand reached out towards the Mist Guardian, as if testing if this was just an illusion.
Mukuro tensed when Hibari touched his cheek. Hibari's hand slid lower to his neck, down to his stomach…and slipped his hand underneath Mukuro's clothes. Mukuro put his hands on Hibari's shoulders and weakly tried to push him off. Hibari's lips found his neck again, and he sucked on the sensitive skin, making Mukuro moaned a little as Hibari's hands trailed higher and higher, exposing his stomach to the cold night air.
"Why, Mukuro?" Hibari whispered into his ear as he lick his ear, nibbling on the earlobe. Mukuro hissed as the cold air hit his skin when Hibari managed to tore away his clothes and throw it to the floor. The warmth of Hibari's hands made him subconsciously draw closer to him, his hands gripping tightly at Hibari's shoulders, enough to bruise. Hibari's hand trailed up his spine, and Mukuro wrapped his long legs around Hibari's waist.
Hibari's question was so simple, yet Mukuro couldn't find an answer to it. He didn't know what Hibari was asking for. Why did he love him? Why did he tell him about all of the information even though it was clear that Tsuna wouldn't forgive Mukuro for this? Why he didn't resist as Hibari pulled him up and threw him carelessly onto the bed?
But in the end, there was only with one answer Mukuro could respond with towards his question, "Because I knew that it's useless to fight against this anymore." To fight against the desperation in his heart. To fight against the fact that Hibari would never return his feelings. To fight against his longing to feel Hibari's touch. To fight against his own heart.
Even though this wouldn't end with happy endings, at least both of them would walk through the path of insanity together.
"Hurt me." Mukuro whispered as Hibari spread his legs wide apart, "I don't care even if you break me again and again…as long as I can have you with me."
That night, even though Mukuro screamed, Hibari didn't stop. Even though he bled and bruised, both of them couldn't stop. It was rough, the pain sometimes unbearable and the pleasure sometimes overwhelmed them…but they continued on hurting each other. Mukuro's love had become so twisted and Hibari had fallen so deep in his own hatred that both of them couldn't care of the other condition. They would take what that can be offered, even though they kept taking more than they should and ended up only hurting themselves and each other.
.
.
.
Three days later…
"Mukuro-sama…" Chrome walked into the room, where the Mist Guardian was sleeping, "The Cloud Man has been captured by the Vendicare."
Slowly, Mukuro opened his eyes and got up. Bruises and bitemarks still were visible on his skin, "Tsunayoshi-kun and the others?"
"They're trying their best to talk with Vendicare. The Vendicare still won't let him out after the Cloud Man destroyed the Occhio Family completely…" Chrome remembered, "Oh, and I have talked to Fran. I will help because Master is so pitiful and useless without me around. I'm bored in Varia anyway, and there is nothing to do after Mammon's revival…or so he said."
Mukuro nodded and he got up, wincing slightly from the pain on his nether region, "Remind me to stab his frog hat again when I meet him." Chrome offered his coat to him, and walked outside of the Mist Guardian's room, where Ken and Chikusa has been waiting for them, "Get M.M. ready…we are going to visit the Vendicare and rescued a skylark from it's cage."
To be Continued…
