A/N: I cannot believe how long it's taken me to update this. Literally months, I believe. All I can say is I'm sorry. I've wanted to update this; tried writing the next chapter on several occasions, but it just hasn't been going well. So many other fandoms have forced their way into my life recently and made me want to write for them, and this story has been sat on the backburner, with me wanting to update it but inspiration just hasn't been coming to me. I've got the entire story planned out but I don't have the words to tell it. However, I still intend to keep the promise I made to myself to finish this story. I started writing this a year ago now, and even if it takes another two or three years to complete I'm going to get there eventually. Even though I'm still facing a block with this that I'm struggling to overcome, I'm just going to try writing this next part from and hope it's enough to spark my inspiration again. Sorry that it's so short, but it's all I feel I can manage at this point. I expect several readers will have lost interest by this point as I've kept you waiting for so long, but if you haven't I can't thank you enough for your patience. This chapter is for you, people who have read this from the start and stuck with me ever since. You have no idea how much I appreciate your support.
Part Three, Chapter Four
For a second Gwen let herself be taken in. She returned his kiss a little hesitantly at first, but the more she tried to convince herself everything would be okay the more passionately she kissed him, as if that would somehow cement everything he'd said as solid truth. He'd explained everything to her; and it wasn't as bad as she'd feared. So did that mean everything between them would be alright? Could they forget about what had just happened and carry on?
Even though part of her wanted to pretend otherwise, Gwen knew the answer to that question was 'no'. This changed everything. How could she possibly go on pretending everything was okay when he'd just admitted to her he'd been involved with the Death Eaters, even on a small scale? And even worse, he'd been lying to her about it all this time. She just didn't know how she could trust him anymore. He'd said he did it because he loved her, and hell, maybe that wasone thing he was being honest about. But it wasn't an excuse. It didn't justify all the lying and manipulating he'd been doing ever since he met her, and she knew she couldn't let him carry on any longer.
Common sense was telling her to walk away. It told her she was being an idiot for letting herself kiss him, for letting him think that she was okay with everything, when really that couldn't be farther from the truth. But despite being so angry with him – despite feeling so hurt and confused and betrayed – she still couldn't bring herself to hate him. The little things he did for her, like the theatre tickets and the chocolate frog; the way he smiled at her; the way he made her feel like she was actually important…that wasn't a lie, was it? He did actually care about her enough to do all that. Maybe he did love her. And actually, she thought she loved him back.
But fuck, that wasn't helping make her head any clearer. She needed time to think about this, but not here and most definitely not right now. If she let this carry on she knew she'd just let herself be taken in again, and she could end up falling for more of his lies of half-truths. Even if she did love him, there was no way she was going to let him get away with that.
Realising she had to put a stop to this before things went too far, Gwen suddenly pushed him away from her. "No!" she cried out, still sounding panicked. "You can't just do that Barty, carry on pretending everything's okay, because it's not!" She glared at him, furious that he seemed to be trying to manipulate her feelings again, but still not sure what he own feelings actually were.
Looking a little shocked that she'd pushed him back so forcefully, he studied her with a look of confusion and his eyes flashed in a way that seemed almost angry. "Gwen…" he began to say, but she spoke over him.
"No, Barty," she said, not allowing him chance to say anything to confuse her even further. "You can't expect me to just pretend nothing's wrong. I need time to think about this. I'm sorry. I have to go."
She began to collect up her things again to leave, and Barty made no move to stop her. He seemed scared to do anything, as if any action from him now might only make the situation worse. Which it probably would. "Gwen," he managed to choke out, his voice sounding desperate. "Please…"
She just ignored him, not trusting herself to respond as he pleaded with her to stay. Once she'd gathered her belongings together she headed to the door, knowing she couldn't disapparate from inside the room, and didn't look back. If she let herself see the hurt look on his face then it would only make this more difficult. As she opened the door she heard him speak out one final time and it sounded as if he'd finally decided to try and follow her, but just as she heard him say, "Gwen, don't go…" the door swung shut behind her. She gripped hold of her wand and made the familiar step-in-a-circle motion in order to leave, her vision blurring both from the disapparition and the tears that pricked at her eyes.
A/N: I know it's short, but it's a start. I don't know when I'll get the next chapter up, but I promise there is going to be one. This story isn't going to be abandoned. So thank you once again for your patience, and I hope this chapter wasn't too much of a non-event. Hopefully, next time will be better as I think I'll finally be able to get out of that little ditch in the plot I was struggling to know how to write.
To hpfan: Thanks for all the feedback, it's been useful to help me decide what direction I'm going to go with this. I'm glad that you're still enjoying it so much, even though I've been notoriously bad at updating recently. I'm going to try and not do that again.
To mrsblack: It's not over until the plot resolves itself and the characters have all gotten some kind of closure, so I promise you now there's going to be a lot more to come of this. It might just come out very slowly. But thank you for your continued support and I'm glad that you still like it.