Chapter 3: Train me

I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun
And I, I, I won't stop until I'm done, done, done

Placebo - Battle for the sun

Two days later I was back in the now cleansed and tidied up training chamber.

I was excited. The last insufferably long months had all been leading up to this point. Since my Sharingan had evolved to the next level two days ago, I felt it had already been worth it. However, the prospect that I could obtain something not even Itachi had, engraved serious expectations into my mind. Should the experiment fail I wouldn't have qualms about killing Orochimaru for it.

He was already waiting for me with another shinobi I hadn't seen before. The man, probably in his thirties, was sporting a headband with the mark of Otogakure, and was wearing the trademark purple obi of the village. His garments were grey and long, covering every inch of his body. A black mask concealed the lower part of his face, leaving only a pair of piercing emerald eyes glinting from under the long black strands of hair that framed and partially concealed his face.

I kept my expression as emotionless as I could. They didn't need to know how eager I was to begin.

"You have come, Sasuke-kun!" Orochimaru greeted me with his usual knowing grin "You are much looking forward to this, I presume."

"Let's just start already." I huffed and eyed the unfamiliar ninja, who had been sizing me up ever since I entered the chamber.

"This is Katsumi, the best interrogator in Otogakure. He is well versed in the art of mind reading and shall play a vital role in our little experiment."

Said ninja tilted his head in greeting in a barely noticeable way, eyes still focused on me.

"I thought you will be the one teaching me." I noted somewhat coldly on purpose.

"Not in this instance, Sasuke-kun, though I appreciate that you are so attached to me." he murmured with mock affection.

I snorted in contempt at the notion, which he, of course, ignored.

"Unfortunately, I never immersed myself in this area. I have my spies and that proved to be sufficient enough until now. But don't worry, I'll be here, observing you and your progress the whole time. To be able to conduct an experiment on a Sharingan, it's exceptionally intriguing."

Considering it as his cue to begin, Katsumi finally took his searching eyes off me and turned to the immortal shinobi.

"Orochimaru-sama. You might wish to take a seat if you truly intend to stay here. This will take a while." he offered humbly, his voice surprisingly ordinary in spite of his untamed appearance.

"I shall when I feel like it. Now start."

"Of course." Katsumi returned his gaze to my face, and I activated my Sharingan.

"First of all, to make things clear, I do not possess a Sharingan."

"Obviously." I interjected, crossing my arms on my chest.

He blinked once. "Therefore, I can only explain to you the basics of mind reading and it will be entirely up to you whether you can apply that knowledge and merge it with your own doujutsu. In addition, not everyone is capable of learning dokushin jutsu. It requires a certain...sensitivity, an aptitude for deeper insight, a highly-developed intuition and the keenness of the mind."

He paused for a second.

"Orochimaru-sama believes that you are endowed with these traits. If that's the case, you do stand a chance, but you'll need to be persistent. Do you understand?"

I simply nodded.

"Good. Now, the first step, and this is something you'll have to do and repeat for a long time to come, is meditation."

With that, he sat down to the floor, cross-legged, and looked up at me, expecting me to follow his example.

I did. Orochimaru, eyes boring into my Sharingan, remained standing.

"Free your mind of every memory, every emotion and eventually, every thought. Take your time, because this is essential. Your head needs to be completely empty to proceed."

"Hmph..."

"Be silent and do as I say." he ordered strictly, and I had to repress a snort.

"As I've already said, mind reading is not easy to perform. Not only in terms of technique but it also consumes a significant amount of time if the reader is not skilled enough. For beginners, it takes about a minute to grasp a single thought of the victim. I, myself, am capable of going through a day-worth of memory in one hour. Some are said to be able to do the same in mere minutes. With the help of a special technique-enhancing device, it is possible in seconds."

"I assume this device is of a considerable size…?" I inquired with a frown, and the ninja nodded. "Evidently, I can't bring it with me to battle, and I don't have minutes to spare in order to crawl into the enemy's head while they are constantly attacking me. So how would it work at all?"

Katsumi minutely squinted his eyes, but whether he was annoyed by my interruption or something else, I couldn't tell because of the mask.

Finally, it was Orochimaru who answered.

"Actually, dokushin jutsu is rarely used on the battlefield, precisely because it takes too much time. You, Sasuke-kun, are a special case. The whole point of the experiment is finding out if it's possible to combine it with your Sharingan and creating a worthwhile jutsu."

My frown deepened. "Why do you suspect it's even possible? How do you know so much about the Sharingan?"

His smile intensified. "I've had your clansmen to experiment on, remember?"

"You...!" I hissed and was about to stand up when Katsumi cut in, bowing his head slightly.

"Forgive me, Orochimaru-sama, but it would not be wise now to anger him. He has to liberate himself of those violent emotions of his, else it's useless for me to go any further."

The damned snake-man snickered in amusement, then nodded. "Proceed then."

Katsumi turned to me again. "Turning back to our original topic, time is a delicate matter with this technique, but with experience, I assure you, it can be reduced to a great extent. Don't concern yourself with it for now."

He released a soft sigh.

"Have you ever been subjected to mind reading, Sasuke-kun?"

"No." I answered curtly.

"Then I will show you how it feels. I will extract a recent memory from your mind. See if you can sense what I am witnessing. Not everyone can."

He scooted closer to me and lifted his right hand.

"Lower your head, please." he instructed.

For a moment, I hesitated, wanting to ask why physical contact was required when Orochimaru had promised mind reading through a single glance. But I swallowed the question and did as I was told. The answer would have been the same as before: I was a special case.

Katsumi placed his palm on my head and closed his eyes.

As soon as he touched me, I felt it, not so much as saw it. He chose the memory of when he'd begun talking about dokushin jutsu, up to the point where Orochimaru had told him to proceed. I was relieved he refrained from digging into my past to recall more personal memories. The way I perceived the intrusion into my brain could be best described as vague. It was as if the memory had popped into my head out of the blue, unexpected and inexplicable, but at the same time, it was somehow more fragile and elusive than a normal reminiscence. Transparent in a manner of speaking, like the undercurrent of a thought. A hazy impression. I didn't see it as it had happened in actuality, I glimpsed at singled out images, heard only parts of the dialogue, and relived my own emotions at the time, and from those alone I remembered exactly what had transpired during those minutes. In a manner of speaking, it refreshed the memory, but not to the degree that it pervaded my whole mind... a very uncommon sensation.

"Well?" he asked, quirking a brow, as he removed his hand from me.

"You picked the beginning of our meeting. I felt it all."

Katsumi inclined his head in consideration. "That is a good sign. I opted for a recent memory because I wanted to test how responsive you are to mind reading. And you've exceeded my expectations. You see, the depth of the infiltration is an important variable. The more recent or unguarded the memory is, the less likely it is for the subject to notice the user's activity and it entails less strain on the latter's part. If we are talking about an older or more private recollection, it both necessitates more effort, time and arouses awareness more easily."

"The same goes for thoughts. For instance, I was able to sense your relief at my not venturing too far into your mind. I picked it up without difficulty because one: you made no attempt to obscure it and two: the thought emerged simultaneously with my presence inside, meaning I didn't have to go back in time."

"The best way to imagine the human brain's operation is in layers. Some thoughts are shallower, more on the surface, some we scarcely even realize. Some memories we return to frequently and thus keep at readily accessible parts of our brain, some we bury as deep as possible."

"For a mind reader, it's all a matter of travelling between these layers."

"Sounds simple enough." I commented, shrugging.

"It's not." Katsumi replied sharply "Unlike a book, the brain's layers are not numbered. There is no map to help you navigate. You must firmly rely on your instincts and if you slack off or get too engrossed in the complex swirl of a person's inner world, it will take forever to discover anything valuable."

"Now." he fidgeted in anticipation "Enough theory. From now on, you shall enter a deep state of meditation, as I said before, through the absolute voidance of your mind. Whenever you feel all set, put your hand on my head and look for stray thoughts, momentary impressions. For now, I will not resist. Ah, and also, as you must have noticed when I executed the jutsu on you, it is customary to close your eyes to facilitate the concentration. However, I would advise you try to keep them open. It might help you fusing the technique with your Sharingan later. Any last questions?"

"What about my chakra?" I asked, rather puzzled as to how this was a ninjutsu at all.

"You must gather it into your brain, the same way you do to your legs when you wish to walk on water. And when you perform the technique, you release and steer it towards me through your arm. Unless you can cross the threshold to my mind in that minuscule span of time, your chakra will be wasted. Anything else?"

I shook my head resolutely.

Katsumi nodded and slightly lowered his head like I had done, freezing completely still in that position.

For about a whole minute, I was taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly, hell bent on doing this thing right. I gave it my all to concentrate on letting everything go: my anxiety, my eagerness, the restless thumping of my heart, the faint ache in my injured shoulders, Itachi.

Unfortunately, the numerous pieces of information the Oto ninja had provided about dokushin jutsu continued to whirl in a ceaseless cycle in my head. The depth, the layers, the instincts, the chakra…

More minutes passed.

Eventually, through great exertion I actually managed to empty my head by means of paying meticulous attention to my own breathing. In and out, in and out, in and out. All the while stacking up chakra in my brain.

I raised my arm and reached for Katsumi's head.

However, that small movement somehow focused my attention on my surroundings. I became aware that Katsumi hadn't shifted so much as an inch since he'd bent forward. Such patience…no wonder he was excelling at mind reading.

Next, I became conscious of that pair of black sandals, bandaged calves and dark pants in my peripheral vision: Orochimaru's legs. He was standing stock-still, just as immobile as his underling. His watchful gaze was affixed on me. I could feel its raw intensity even though his face was far out of my line of sight. He could have been looking at Katsumi, or some scroll or even the ceiling in boredom, but no. With a puzzling and unsettling certainty, I knew he was peering at me from behind the curtain of his raven black hair.

It was exceedingly frustrating.

Katsumi cleared his throat. "Orochimaru-sama, forgive me, but you are distracting Sasuke-kun. And I can hardly blame him." he temporarily bowed his head lower in absolute reverence.

How did he know?

The immortal shinobi scoffed. "This is not the time to be shy."

I gnashed my teeth in annoyance.

"It will become easier for him later. But right now, it would be best to give him a little space."

I lifted my face and gestured dismissively toward the pallid man. "Stay or leave, I don't really care either way. But if you do stay, then stand behind me and don't breath down my neck." I markedly ignored Katsumi's outraged, sharp gasp at my tone.

Orochimaru caught my eyes before complying with my wish and smiled in a, frankly, disturbing way. "I'll be behind you, Sasuke-kun."

An unpleasant shudder went through my body at the suggestive tint of his voice, but I didn't bother to think too deeply about it.

Once again, I sank into concentration in earnest.

I piled up a reasonable amount of chakra in my brain and achieved to more or less void my mind.

I reached out and placed my hand on the back of the Oto ninja's skull.

In a few seconds, I made up my mind to let loose the bundle of chakra reeling stimulatingly in my head.

As I did,

nothing happened. Nothing at all. I couldn't sense so much as a word from Katsumi. I retracted my hand in bitter disappointment.

"Don't be ashamed, no one succeeds at their first try." the sitting shinobi hurried to comfort me, emerald eyes glancing up at me in sympathy.

"Don't patronize me." I spat in reply and recommenced the meditation at once.

...

My endeavors remained fruitless until the very end of the training, that is, by the time I lost an extensive amount of chakra.

"Tomorrow, same time." was all Orochimaru said, not seeming particularly downcast about my failure.

He must have been fairly used to negative results.

The following day we went through the same exasperating process. As well as the day after that and then each day until the end of the week.

"You are applying too much chakra, Sasuke-kun." Katsumi noted once, rubbing and stretching his sore neck after one straight hour of my continuously futile efforts "If you portioned it up better, you wouldn't tire yourself out so fast."

"The problem is not the chakra but your ineffective method." I muttered under my breath, shifting my own numb legs and changing my posture to restore proper blood flow to my limbs.

"It'll work. Just don't give up!" he shrugged and before long he was bending forward again.

Don't give up. The phrase itself, as well as the unexpected, whimsical beat to his tone—no doubt an effect of our both physically and mentally demanding sessions—suddenly reminded me of Naruto. I was mildly surprised to find that I was all but utterly unaffected by his memory, along with that of the whole team seven. It meant no more than a temporary phase of my past. A starting point.

Although, there was one thing I felt grateful for, to Naruto. He had been able to fulfill the role of a perfect rival. His determination spurred me forward at times, and the fear that he might become better than me provided an excellent motivation.

Perhaps one day I'll thank him for this.

Contrary to what he'd promised, Orochimaru wouldn't always grace us with his presence. Not that I would complain. Apparently, he realized this was going to take a long, long time and deemed it better to occupy himself with his other experiments or whatever he did when he wasn't inspecting me. Even when he was present, he was mainly busy studying scrolls, leaving me suspicious he was only attending to witness and savor my vexation as a means of entertainment.

After the first week or so, it wasn't every day that I practiced with Katsumi anymore. Orochimaru saw it fit for me to fall into an alternating pattern of days spent with dokushin jutsu and others with our usual practice, polishing the techniques I already knew.

As it was, I trained almost every day, which had an ambivalent twofold result.

For one, I had much less time for rest and other inevitably necessary actions, such as collecting data on Orochimaru. Even when I was finally allowed a respite, strength drained, brain mushed and body throbbing, more often than not, I was content curling up on the bed in my private room, rather than risk being discovered by Kabuto in one of the chambers I had no veritable reason to be.

Of course, I still seized every opportunity I got to learn more about my peculiar teacher, however little that might be. And the opportunity presented itself quite frequently, since the other result of my new training schedule was that I came to be in his proximity almost every day.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, as the commonplace saying goes. I was no fool and didn't delude myself into thinking that the wiliest of the Sannin was my friend, in spite of his close attention and enigmatic tolerance of my now habitual, unveiled disrespect. No, I had absolutely no doubt that Orochimaru was my enemy.

"Too slow. You take too much time with your Chidori. You should consider expanding the range of your lightning attacks." he suggested on one of our trainings, after I obliterated the giant snake he'd summoned with my, so far, strongest jutsu.

I bent forward to support myself on my knees, swallowing huge gulps of air. "And how do I do that?"

"Instead of compressing elemental chakra around your fist, you let it swell. The same way you manipulate the size of your fireballs."

He crossed his arms and casually leant against the wall of the chamber. He seemed, for all intents and purposes, unaffected by our sparring, which had been going on for almost an hour at that point. His forearms were sticking out to both sides in an odd, limp way, and yet he still managed to look fairly nonchalant and poised. I found this vaguely amusing.

Suddenly feeling the need to be at eye-level with him, I straightened up and wiped at my sweaty forehead. "I've been commanding fire since I was six. Lightning...it was Kakashi who taught me that, right before I was to face Sabaku no Gaara on the chuunin exam. It still doesn't come so naturally to me."

I didn't mean it as an excuse. After all, I saw no sensible reason why I should make excuses in front of him. But then I had no idea why I felt the need to share this piece of information at all.

After a short span of silence, I glanced up at him. "Were you regarded as a genius when you were a kid? Or were you stumbling in the shadow of someone greater?"

Like I had been.

He arched an inquisitive eyebrow and gazed at me pensively for a long moment before answering.

"The former."

Straightforward and simple, his voice lacked its trademark smugness for once. I averted my eyes, suddenly feeling unaccountably cold inside.

"But I was never satisfied with what I was." he added after a brief pause "It was never the Sandaime's faith in me or our frivolous rivalry with Jiraiya that pushed me forward, but my own ridiculously high expectations. In a sense, I was suppressed and concurrently incited by a shadow. Perfection."

"Your parents-" I chanced the question but he cut in before I could fully form my inquiry.

"Had nothing to do with that. They died when I was young. I was on my own, grew up being on my own. If I leave Sarutobi-sensei's care out of consideration, that is."

His lips curled into a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I couldn't help but frown at his reply.

"If you believe he was truly concerned about you, then why did you kill him?"

He cocked his head to the side and frowned, fingers twitching as if startled.

"He didn't share my views."

I sneered "Is that all? At least you had someone who cared for you."

"He was too sentimental for his own good and turned a blind eye to my...transgressions for far too long, as well as remained ignorant of their purpose."

"Which was...?"

"Seeking the way to perfection, the ultimate superiority of skill, of course." his eyes flashed with a deep fire I'd hardly seen before "Through extensive knowledge comes the mastery of ninjutsu, surely you understand as much."

I shook my head in mild incomprehension. It wasn't the reasoning but his motivation itself that I couldn't stomach.

"Why are you so obsessed with acquiring every ninja technique? To the point you don't shy away the least bit from sacrificing fellow shinobi of your hometown?"

"Why are you so obsessed with taking revenge on your brother?" he countered promptly, the didactic edge of the question irritating me even more than the content itself. "And besides, you continue to seek my guidance despite being aware of my methods. No, on the contrary. I would even chance a guess you follow me precisely because of them?"

"I will take revenge on him because he slaughtered my clan. Is that not reason enough to you? And yes, I have no scruples about putting up with your eccentricity if it means I'll achieve my purpose."

Should be simple enough for him to understand. But this time it was he who shook his head.

"No. That's the root cause but not what drives you directly."

I gaped at him. Just what the hell was he talking about?

"What drives me is that I want to kill him." I uttered slowly as if talking to someone retarded.

"It's an inner constraint then." he nodded, pleased and not remotely offended, it seemed.

"I don't get why there's a significant difference whether I want to end him because of what he did or how his actions make me feel."

"Because if you weren't the Sasuke I know, you could put it behind you, huddle up somewhere he is unable to touch you, weak and grateful that you have been spared at all." he smiled, wetting his lips with his thick tongue "This Sasuke cannot imagine such a thing. It comes from deep within his spirit, his vindictiveness. And he takes what he wants, just like I do."

I lapsed into silence for a while, mulling over his words.

"So what you're saying is that it's in my nature that I would avenge my clan."

"It's your very essence. As mine is that I seek to hold everything, to unravel all the secrets of existence and thus achieve excellence."

I sighed resignedly and rubbed my aching temples.

"It pretty much means we're both irreversibly screwed up, doesn't it?"

Propping his head against the wall for balance, he erupted in a rollicking laughter that vibrated through his whole body.

As I bent down to pick up my Kusanagi no tsurugi, which had been lying forgotten on the floor, I couldn't repress a covert, faint smile myself.

My enemy. Appearances aside.

A/N

Rosebunse: Sorry about that, I'm still new to publishing and I accidentally selected the wrong document at first. :P Thank you for taking the time to review. ^^