Helloo...me again...hope I'm not boring you!
A HUUUGE thanks to gogurt, Nova-chan, rupzydaisy, bowtiesarecool, Kit-Kat-AnGel, Valkyrie Vamp, moonagedaydreaming and LollyMc! You guys are ALL awesome.
I do not own Sherlock!
List of things Sherlock Holmes can NOT do:
Give Birth
Shop
Remember to eat
…
John filled a saucepan with water and put it on to boil. He pulled out a packet of pasta and stared carefully at the instructions.
"Fifteen minutes…" John muttered to himself. He opened the packet to pour in about a quarter of the packet, after all he was only cooking for himself and Sherlock.
"John!" The cry came so suddenly that John jumped and jerked his hand, causing him to pour the entire packet in the saucepan.
"I don't think you need that much pasta John, unless you suddenly have a ravenous appetite. I would recommend doing about quarter that amount." Commented Sherlock, peeking over John's shoulder.
"Yes. Thank you Sherlock." Said John through gritted teeth. He quickly poured the still raw pasta into a sieve to save it before it cooked.
Re-pouring some pasta into the saucepan. He then proceeded to open a can of chopped tomatoes. He was about to pour it into another pan when Sherlock was suddenly at his shoulder again.
"What are you doing?" Said Sherlock after a while.
"What do you think I'm doing?"
"Doing something completely unnecessary…why cook when there's a perfectly good Chinese round the corner?" Asked Sherlock, his brow burrowed in confusion.
"Sometimes it's nice to cook. It's easy and tasty, why not?" Sherlock didn't reply. John poured the chopped tomatoes into the pan. He buried around in the cupboard looking for the garlic, but when he turned around he saw Sherlock slicing up a banana into the saucepan.
"Sherlock! No!" John rushed over and hurriedly picked out the bits of banana. "What are you doing?"
"I like bananas."
"Yes, but they don't go with tomato sauce!" He added the garlic, watching Sherlock from the corner of his eye.
"This is boring." Muttered Sherlock.
"Then go do something else." Snapped John. Sherlock just sighed heavily. "And cooking is actually harder than it looks." Said John hesitantly, certain Sherlock would recognise what he was doing.
"Pfft, sure." Snorted Sherlock.
"I'm serious. This takes skill."
"No it doesn't. You're doing it wrong anyway." He shoved John out the way and took over control of the meal. John was sure that this meant doom for the pasta, but…it was worth it.
Sherlock stirred the sauce with false confidence, waiting for John to walk away before grabbing a banana. He grinned.
Beep beep beep beep beep
John sprinted into the kitchen, phone ready in hand to call the fire brigade. He couldn't actually see Sherlock through the smoke.
"Sherlock! You okay?" John called.
There was silence. "Err…Yes." Said Sherlock decidedly. John grabbed a newspaper and started trying to waft the smoke away. He finally was able to see Sherlock, bending over a pan of suspicious looking yellow gloop.
"Uhm…Dinner?"
After sniffing the pan and nearly vomiting he choked "I'll pass."
Sherlock frowned and poked the…thing. They both stood there for a while in silence.
"Chinese?" Said Sherlock quietly.
"Yup." They both grabbed their coats and walked out the door, Sherlock casting a slightly dejected look back at his cooking attempt. It had looked so easy…