Somebody's Baby — First Love
I heard her talkin with her friend when she thought nobody else was around
She said she's got to be somebody's baby; she must be somebody's baby
'Cause when the cars and the signs and the street lights light up the town
She's got to be somebody's baby
She must be somebody's baby
The faint glow from the street light cast long shadows into the room, a sliver of light reflecting in his brown eyes.
Kristoff blinked, stared at the clock.
3am, he groaned to himself, ruffling his hair in frustration. Gingerly, he shifted and sat up, careful not to wake the sleeping redhead beside him. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he winced as it creaked slightly, but the redhead only mumbled and turned over. Chuckling quietly, he stood up and walked over to the window.
Sleep had long eluded him, which was surprising, considering he usually slept quite soundly after a night like the one he had just had with the beautiful redhead currently asleep in his bed. His girlfriend.
Kristoff ran a hand through his blond locks again, as he stared out the window. Despite the late hour, the city was alive with sound, sirens wailing, cars honking, the distant sound of people yelling. The cacophony mirrored the swirling thoughts that were running through his mind.
They had taken it slow after their first intimacy, Kristoff being the one who stepped back. Anna had panicked at his sudden reticence. With a pang of remorse he recalled the phone conversation he overheard earlier that day.
I don't know anymore, she had been saying, her voice strained.
I thought everything was fine but, she had paused then, biting her lip, then we had sex, and everything changed. At that point in the conversation, Kristoff had almost interrupted, seeing her face fall he had wanted to explain, but he had lost his nerve. There was a pause as she listened to the person on the other line, and then she was nodding, tears welling in her eyes, biting her bottom lip hard to keep them from falling. Yes, she was whispering in response, yes, I think I am. I just hope he feels the same.
Kristoff silently cursed at the memory. He was going to blow it, ruin his chances with the only woman who had ever... loved him? Was that what she was admitting to on the phone to her friend? He ruffled his hair again, shutting his eyes tight he leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window. The coolness calmed his flushed skin, allowed him to think a little clearer. Get your head together, Bjorgman, he berated himself, don't fuck this up.
"Kristoff? Is everything okay?"
She was sitting up in the bed, knees drawn up to her chin, red hair gloriously mussed. Beautiful- and very, very sad. Kristoff swallowed the lump in his throat. He hated himself for making her feel anything other than happy. This wonderful, radiant, bubbly woman should never feel anything but joy. He could never deserve her.
"I'm fine, Anna, go back to sleep." He tried to smile but could only manage to lift up one corner of his mouth, rendering his attempt at assurance completely futile. As expected, she didn't buy it.
"Can't sleep now," she stated, hopping off the bed. Grabbing the nearest item of clothing she found, she hastily pulled it on and joined Kristoff at the window. He could only stare at her, clad only in his black t-shirt, the hem of it reaching her knees, the neckline low enough to expose the soft valley between her breasts. His heart contracted.
"I'm so sorry I woke you. I just- I couldn't sleep." He shifted his gaze out the window, the light of the street light illuminating the lines of his face.
"Do you- do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly, tilting her face to his. "You don't have to, I don't want to force you, you know, if you don't want to..." She added hastily, after he didn't respond right away.
"No, Anna, I- I owe you an explanation," she was opening her mouth to protest but he lifted a hand to stop her, "please let me get this out." Here goes, he thought, inhaling deeply. Here goes nothing. Turning to face her, he looked into her big, beautiful blue eyes, steeling his nerves.
"I don't deserve you." He began.
"Kristoff, I don't understand where this is coming from." she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. At her touch he smiled faintly, shaking his head.
"I've been a loner all my life. Never had any real friends, any close relationships. My dog Sven is my lifelong buddy, my longest relationship. Huh. What does that say about me?" he mused, mostly to himself. At the sound of his name the big dog bounded over from his spot at the foot of the bed, nuzzling Kristoff affectionately, as if he knew his best friend was unhappy.
"I think it says a lot about you," Anna began, stroking the dog's large furry head, "it says you're loyal, loving, trustworthy." she continued to stroke the soft fur, and Kristoff did the same. Sven looked up at both of them with a goofy grin, relishing the attention being lavished on him.
"Thanks. But I- I just don't feel like it all adds up, you know?" Anna looked up at him, confused, so he tried to explain, "I mean, here I am, I'm nothing, I've got nothing, and- and here you are. God, here you are-" he whispered the last part, almost reverently, "and you're- you're everything." he bowed his head, not able to meet her eyes anymore. "I could spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you, and I don't think I could ever measure up."
Anna was silent for a long moment, and Kristoff's heart sank. Finally she looked up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She bit her lip, willing them not to fall.
"Is this why you became distant, after we- after we were intimate?" she whispered, and he nodded, dropping his gaze in shame. She was eying him now, and something was changing in her. Her sadness seemed to be disappearing, being replaced by thinly veiled anger.
"Is this because you think I'm a spoiled rich girl, a pampered princess?" she practically spit the words out, and it took him by surprise. He flinched slightly, and lifted his hands up in a feeble attempt to stop her, but she barrelled on.
"Is this because I was engaged once, to a stupid, pompous, red-haired creep, and you were jealous because he was famous and wealthy?" she was almost foaming at the mouth, and he could only stare at her in mute silence.
"God, I'm so sick and tired of people putting me on a pedestal!" she cried suddenly, turning from him and pacing the room, a bundle of frenetic energy, "Yes I come from a well-known family, yes I could have every material possession known to man, but you know what? I could care less!" she was yelling now, arms flailing, a wild look in her blue eyes. Eventually she plopped down on the edge of the bed, her energy spent.
"It's just me," she said quietly, and she sounded so small, so vulnerable, "Just Anna."
He crossed the room to her in two long strides, kneeling at her feet.
"Fuck, I'm an idiot. God, I'm sorry, Anna. I knew I was going to fuck this up." he pulled at his blond locks in frustration.
"Kristoff," she lifted his chin up gently to look at her, "none of this matters. Not my crap, not your crap." she smiled faintly at him and he did the same.
"Anna, it's not that simple. I just-"
"I love you, Kristoff."
He blinked. Looked deep into her eyes for any hint of deceit. Try as he might, all he saw was a mirror of his own emotion.
"God, I love you so much, Anna," he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in the soft fabric of his shirt against her stomach. "Just you."
The street lights flickered and went out, as the sun shot burnt orange rays over the horizon. The two lovers lay entwined, sleeping peacefully, as the big dog lay at their feet. Giving one last yawn, Sven finally surrendered to sleep, a big grin plastered on his goofy face.