Chapter 4

He seemed sort of relieved when I said that. But it quickly got awkwardly silent. We just watched television until we got hungry again. We didn't go to the same diner. That whore of a waitress wasn't seeing Gadreel again. So we drove to another restaurant a little further. The food was alright and, once again, we remained silent.

As I looked at Gadreel, I began thinking just how hard this must be for him. I wanted to help him, but I didn't really know when or how to tell him.

The day was over so quickly and when the sky darkened, he went to his bed and fell asleep. I had the chance to write down in my journal everything that he told me. Gadreel was once an angel and was now human. I began thinking that our meeting wasn't a coincidence. A former angel meets a hunter?

As I closed my journal, I looked over at him and wondered why he was back from the dead as a human? He probably asked himself that question when he woke up this morning. Then he gets stuck with a young, but peculiar, hunter. He must be asking himself what he did wrong. Yeah, I was being harsh on myself, but I couldn't see why he met me? Why not some other, more skilled, hunter?

I tucked my journal back into my bag and crawled into my bed. I continued to watch him until my eyes were too sore to keep open. It felt like an eternity for sleep to pull me in, but I guess it did eventually.

Then I dreamt of Gadreel and my mother. None of it made sense. It was like images that moved, but didn't progress to reveal a sort of story. When I opened my eyes, my dreams remained nothing but blurred images that didn't make sense.

The motel room was still dark and when I looked over at his bed, noticed that he had turned over, giving me the chance to stare at his beautiful face. He looked peaceful in his sleep. I smiled weakly as I noticed that his hair was messy. He looked cute. I stared at him until I was too tired and fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up, light seeped through the curtains and I noticed that his bed was empty. I jolted up in bed, thinking he was gone, but heard his voice.

"Good morning." He said. I glanced over and met his eyes. He was sitting on the sofa with the television turned on, the volume low.

"Yeah. Morning." I said and quickly began fixing my hair as best as I could without a mirror. He glanced back at the television and I hurried to the bathroom. I fixed my hair and my clothes, smelled them and decided to just change my shirt.

When I walked out of the bathroom, it hit me. I was driving around twice yesterday and I never thought about buying him some clothes.

God, I suck.

I walked over to my bag, pulled out a clean shirt and stood behind the sofa, quickly changing shirts before he saw me. Actually, I think I'd be okay if he saw me…

I sat down beside him and glanced over at him. I didn't know how to say it, so I just blurted it out.

"Do you want me to buy you some clothes?" I asked him and he met my eyes. His facial expression was hard and intense. He glanced down at himself and then back at me, slightly puzzled.

"This is fine." He said and I let out a small laugh. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I felt my cheeks heat up a bit and tightened my lips into an awkward smile.

"You can't wear the same clothes all the time." I said and smiled more as he continued to look at me with that puzzled look on his face. "We can grab some food and then do a bit of shopping." I said and I leapt to my feet and grabbed my wallet and keys.

I didn't glance at him to see if he was still somewhat confused. By the time I reached the door, he was getting off the sofa and following me out to my car. I returned to that other restaurant, the one without a skanky waitress and ordered breakfast. He glanced at me with a hint of sadness and when our order had been taken, he had that unattractive pouty face.

"I apologize for making you spend your money on me." He said and it made me smile sympathetically at him.

"Don't be." I replied with way too much sweetness in my voice. I toned it down, quickly. "What am I supposed to do; let you starve?" I asked and his sadness faded, but there was something else. Did he look guilty?

"It isn't easy for you to gain money." He said, telling me what I told him. I don't know if he was guilty, but I was. I looked at him, sort of seriously, and sighed.

"Yeah, but if I didn't spend my money on you too, that would just be heartless." I said and now, it hit me. Now is the time to tell him. I stared at him and felt the tension, but it was mostly self-imposed. "I want to help you." I added and there was a softness in his eyes.

"That's kind of you." He said and I just stared at him, feeling like he didn't understand what I was saying. He looked down at the table and I just blurted it all out.

"I want to help you adjust to being a human." I said and when he met my eyes, it was more than softness that I was seeing. He looked vulnerable. "That night, we were the only ones out on that highway. I believe I'm supposed to help you and I want to." I added and fought the urge to say that our meeting wasn't coincidental. Not only that, but I picked my words carefully. That last thing I wanted to do was make it sound like no one else wanted to help him or that I was afraid of him leaving me.

Gadreel just looked at me as if he wasn't sure what to think. Then he smiled softly and he seemed sort of relieved.

"Thank you." He said and when our food arrived shortly after that, we ate in silence. I kept thinking about what I could do to help him. I thought about teaching him how to hunt. He could help me. Imagine, the two of us hunting together. We'd be a team. I wouldn't be alone.

I wouldn't be alone. Finally.

Then I thought that maybe, we could get romantically involved. But, formerly being an angel, I wasn't sure if that was a possibility. He'd probably find it uncomfortable and try to avoid physical contact.

Great. Just great. I have a really hot guy with me and he might just not be interested in me. Oh, that's gonna suck.

And that thought made me want to stop eating. And I was still hungry. So, I thought about other things, like how I wanted him to talk more; say more than just "thank you". I wanted him to say something about being with me. Does he think it's a coincidence or does he feel like I do: that we're sort of meant to meet each other?

I wanted to know, but couldn't bring myself to ask.

When we finished our breakfast, I drove to a thrift store to buy him some clothes. I felt sort of bad that I would buy him second-hand clothes, but that's how I bought mine; how I saved my money. And he didn't seem to mind.