I use them for fun and not for profit.

Chapter 4

Stephanie went down the first flight of stairs and rounded the corner, pausing only slightly when she realized someone was coming up. The first thing she saw was the yellow visitor tag swinging on a lanyard against the man's chest. The second thing she noticed was that he looked remarkably like Ranger. The men could have been brothers, although this man seemed younger, but maybe that's because he was smiling at her. Ranger used to smile at her, but mostly these days he stared somberly. She'd be damned if she was going to feel guilty if she somehow let him down by marrying Joe.

She nodded her head and gave only a fleeting thought as to who the man might be. While her curiosity could never be completely assuaged, her current fit of temper was doing a pretty good job of monopolizing her thoughts. She pushed on the door to the garage with both hands and it flung open. Fortunately, there was no one standing on the other side, because the force with which the door slammed against the wall would have crushed someone standing behind it. She looked across the parking garage and headed for the lone red car in a sea of black. One of the perks of being management at RangeMan was parking in the garage. The company had grown so large the other workers parked across the street in the new parking space Ranger had provided.

She was in a hurry to leave, to go home, to go to Joe's home. It had been their home for four years until they found they couldn't live with one another as man and wife anymore, and they divorced. A strong desire to not be the seven-day wonder of the Burg had caused them to continue to live together, but they'd never planned for the deception to continue this long.

Two years had gone by, and most days it had been a peaceful existence. They worked out their post-divorce angst by talking about the things that had gone wrong, things that were wrong from the beginning. They formed a tight bond that led to the closure of one part of their relationship and the development of a new one. Joe Morelli was her best friend. He alone had heard her confession of the undying love she felt for Ranger. He didn't judge her, and he understood her feelings were beyond reason, regarding Ranger. She understood Joe's desire for a wife and family, but his inability to commit to one woman totally. They were beyond the recrimination stage and spoke bluntly and freely to one another, in the manner only best friends can.

Right now she needed to get home and speak bluntly with Joe. He was the only one with whom she could vent. She threw her purse on the passenger seat of her Miata and shoved the key into the ignition. The weather of late summer was humid and the interior of the car was airless. She hit the power button on the dash and the hardtop retracted into the trunk. Her tension started to ease as she sped away, topless, in her little red car. The wind whipped tendrils of hair free from her ponytail and blew most of her temper away with it.

As she walked into the house she'd shared with Joe for six years the smell of marinara soothed her. Joe walked into the living room from the kitchen with a dish towel wrapped around his waist. There were sauce stains on the homemade apron and he presented a picture of handsome domesticity. The towel wrapped around his hips accentuated leanly muscled thighs and possibly the best ass in Trenton. "I waited dinner for you," he said. "I was just getting ready to call and check on you. I thought maybe you had plans I didn't know about. You're unusually late."

Stephanie dropped her purse on the sofa and pulled the elasticized band from her hair. She shook her head and re-gathered the recalcitrant curls into a tighter ponytail. "It's good to be home. I'm going to miss you, Joe."

"Nah, you won't. You know you're welcome anytime. Maria understands."

"I know she does," Stephanie said. It was true. Maria was not jealous of her and seemed to accept the close relationship they shared. "Maria is entitled to some private time with her man. You know it will be the talk of the Burg when I move out and she moves in. You guys will have enough to deal with without throwing me into the mix."

"I don't give a rat's ass about Burg gossip, and you know that."

"That may be true, but it's never easy for a woman to deal with. This is a conservative place with some outdated ideas about the woman's role. Ideas, I might add, you shared until Maria came into your life."

"You're not completely correct in that assumption," Joe said, "but I'm not going to argue now. Dinner is ready and you looked bushed. Come to the kitchen and eat. Then you can tell me about your bad day, because, Cupcake, you look like you've had a bad day."

Stephanie followed Joe into the kitchen with a rare feeling of wistfulness. It would have been nice if she and Joe had worked out, but even from the beginning she'd had her doubts. She tried to keep them buried, and had done a pretty good job for four years. That's when she found out Joe had the same doubts. Their relationship was anything but conventional from the very beginning. They'd matured and found themselves in a good place. And now it was all going to change again.

Six months earlier, Joe had found the woman. The woman Stephanie should have been for him, but couldn't be. Maria was perfect for Joe and all three of them knew it. The façade of happily married Burg couple was going to end because Maria and Joe were getting married. It would come out in a big rush of gossip. She'd tell her family first, and then the rest of the Burg would find out by phone-calls, emails, text messages and whispered asides at the beauty salon and Giovichinni's. She and Joe had been married, were divorced and had been living together for two years. And now Joe was getting remarried. How did she manage to keep herself at the center of Burg gossip way into her forties? Okay, not way into her forties, barely into her forties, she amended. Surely there was some other younger misfit for the Burg to turn their attention to?

"You're quiet tonight," Joe said as he cleared the table. "You've must have had a terrible day."

She looked down to realize her thoughts had occupied her mind through the entire meal. "It started out interesting," she told Joe. "Ranger's daughter Julie came to visit."

Joe sat back at the table and refilled their wine glasses. "That's nice. I imagine she's almost grown now."

"Hunh," Stephanie snorted as she took a long drink of the dry red wine. "She's grown, she's beautiful and she's married."

"What?" Joe's look was puzzled.

"Yeah, exactly," Stephanie said. "She's eighteen and she's married to a young soldier who is about to be deployed to Afghanistan. They eloped two days ago and came to Trenton to see Ranger. Her mother didn't like the idea of Julie marrying so young, so they eloped and Julie plans to stay in Trenton while her husband is gone."

"How'd Ranger take all this?"

"How does Ranger take anything unplanned by him?" Stephanie asked. "It's hard to say because he keeps everything buried, but I think it hit him hard."

"Is Julie why you were so late getting home?"

"Indirectly," Stephanie said. "When I got to work I had a message from Ranger saying he had a surprise for me. The surprise was Julie, and Scott, her husband. I spent the day getting them settled in. It wasn't my job, but Ranger wasn't around to do it, and they were clueless. They're so young, I had to help them."

She was silent, her mind replaying events of the day. Joe prompted her. "It took all day to get them settled?"

"Yes, and no," Stephanie told him. "I found them a place to live and I helped Julie get a job...at RangeMan. Connie is going to use her in the office. I had Ella give them a key to one of the small apartments in RangeMan and then we went shopping. It was kind of fun. Now they have a little nest to honeymoon in for a couple of days before he leaves for Afghanistan. I did exactly what Ranger had planned for me to do, sort of."

"Exactly, sort of?" Joe asked with a laugh. She smiled at him.

"Yeah. He wanted me to help them get settled. I understood that as soon as I realized he wasn't going to make an appearance today. He thought I'd find her a little place to live in the Burg and I'd find her a crappy little job and two months from now she'd go running home to her mother. His dilemma would be solved."

"But you found her a decent place to work, a decent place to live and made sure she'd be in the middle of her father's life?"

"Yup, and he didn't take it well."

"Cupcake," Joe said, leaning across the kitchen table and grasping one of her hands. "I hate to ask you this now, but…"

"It's okay," she interrupted him. "I know I have to get out. I'll go drop the bomb on my family tomorrow and then you can tell your mother we're divorced and you're getting remarried. There aren't any RangeMan condos available right now. That's why I put Julie and Scott on six. I was thinking of dropping by and seeing Dillon. There might be something available in my old building, or maybe the property management company has something. I'll be out by next week, Joe. I promised and I'll keep my word."

Joe stood and looked at her for a moment before he asked, "You gonna be okay here? I was planning on spending the night at Maria's."

Stephanie smiled at him, "I'm fine. Go on."

"I hate to leave you alone," he said. "I'd feel better if you weren't completely alone. Maybe we should have gotten another dog. I miss Bob. He was good company."

"I miss him, too," Stephanie said. "He was a great dog, and I miss Rex, too, even if he wasn't so sociable. Go away, Joe. I know Maria is waiting for you, and I'll be okay here alone. I'm a big girl."

Joe left and Stephanie cleaned up the kitchen. They had fallen into a nice rhythm when it became evident she was never going to be the cook her mother was. Joe did most of the cooking and she did most of the cleaning and they were both satisfied with the arrangement.

As she wiped the countertop she remembered Rex in his cage, wheel spinning. He'd been happy with the move to Joe's house and he had died a peaceful death from old age. She had thought about replacing him, but the time never seemed right.

Bob had lived a full and happy life as well. They hadn't been sure of his age, but it hadn't been a surprise when he'd gone. He'd left a big hole in both her and Joe's hearts. Getting old was inevitable. Changes were inevitable. She was going to be single again. Technically she'd been single for a while, but living with Joe, she'd still felt part of a relationship. Now she was going to be living on her own. She'd done it before and she could do it again. She was nearly forty-one years old and she was starting over. It made her tired to think about it.

Her phone rang at five a.m. She didn't look at the caller ID as she pushed the talk button. She just wanted to make the noise go away as soon as possible.

"Hello," her voice was raspy and it was obvious she'd just been awakened.

"We need to talk." Ranger's voice. He didn't call often these days, but his voice never failed to send electricity through her.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, but you need to be in my apartment by 0630, and I'd prefer you didn't say anything to anyone about this meeting."

"Is it Julie?" she questioned, "or Scott?"

"It's business. Be here." He disconnected. Some things never changed. She looked at the time and groaned and then reset the alarm. She could get in another half-hour at least. It had been late when she'd finally fallen asleep. Seeing Julie had made her remember many things she hadn't thought about in years.

The Scrog incident had been life-changing for her. It was when she realized she was in love with two men, and it took her months to work it out. Then she'd lost her nerve. When the two-year anniversary of the shooting was approaching she knew she couldn't wait any longer. She'd decided she was going to let Ranger know how she felt. He said his lifestyle didn't lend itself to relationships, but she had decided to show him he was wrong. She didn't want the traditional Burg husband-wife relationship. She'd show Ranger that she could take what he'd give and be happy.

When she had tried to show him, he'd backed off completely, and she'd been left feeling like a fool. She'd listened to everything he'd said about not having someone special in his life, but she never believed him, because he'd shown time after time, she was special. But he never took that step. He kept flirting with her and he let her know she would be welcome in his bed, but that was the only part of his life he was willing to share.

Then Joe had stepped forward and demanded she make a decision. She hadn't wanted to lose Joe, and in a sudden insight into Ranger, she saw it was never going to happen with them. She'd said yes to Joe, and had been happy…for about six months.

The years since their divorce had been surprisingly peaceful, and she and Joe were closer now that they'd ever been. Maria was a good person and very secure in her relationship with Joe. She'd accepted Stephanie as part of Joe's life and hadn't tried to separate them. Stephanie was grateful for that. She had reservations about Maria and Joe, but she'd kept them to herself, because Joe was smitten. Maybe this was the woman he'd been trying to turn Stephanie into when they were married. For his sake, and Maria's, she hoped so, and she hoped Joe had finally grown up enough to make the one-woman commitment. Joe had always had an eye for women, and it was returned. He was handsome, charismatic, and easy. Maria seemed to have changed him and she had sincere hope for their happiness.

And then she wondered, where's my happy? She wasn't afraid to be alone, but she didn't want to be. Sometime during the last few years she'd made peace with her unrequited love for Ranger. Now she had to learn to work around it, because she wanted a man in her life. Two years without a social orgasm was long enough. Once she left Joe's house she was going to find a man. Temporary, probably, but still there had to be that transitional man, and she'd find him.

Her mind calmed and she drifted back to sleep only to hear the sound of her alarm. Groaning she pulled herself from bed. She didn't want to be late to a meeting with Ranger. This was not just unusual, it hadn't happened before. Since she'd started working for Ranger full-time she'd never had an early morning call to come to his apartment for a meeting. She was curious. It seemed more than coincidence that she would be called to his apartment two mornings in a row.

The room was cool, compliments of a low setting on the air conditioner and her bed was a comfortable haven, but Stephanie dragged herself up out of the depths of her own personal high-thread count cocoon. As she made her way to the bathroom she glanced at the open door to Joe's room. He'd spent the night at Maria's, she could see, and that was not a surprise. Good, she could take a little extra time in the shower since he wasn't likely to be back for a while. When she stepped from the steam-filled room twenty minutes later she was exfoliated, moisturized, and wrapped snuggly in a fluffy towel. She opened the bathroom door and ran smack into Joe.

"Oh!" Her hand instinctively went to the wrap on her towel. "I didn't know you were home."

"I just got here," Joe said. "I was going to bang on the door to let you know you weren't alone." His eyes were lingering on her hand at the seam of her towel, she noticed. Then she noticed something else. His eyes were that dark liquid-chocolate she hadn't seen in a while. Joe was looking at her in a way that was at once both familiar and a little exciting. He wanted her. That hadn't been in evidence for months. Interesting, as well, was the tingle she was feeling in her nether regions. Joe was like comfort food, she realized. Like the biggest plate of mac and cheese, or a huge slice of Entenmann's. For the first time in two years they were both thinking about it, face to face. It wouldn't be awkward. It would be warm and pleasurable.

She wanted to reach out to him. It would only take a second to loosen the towel, but this was Joe and he was committed to someone else. Amazingly, she saw it on his face as she was making her own decision. He stepped back to let her pass. They hadn't touched, but they were both aware of the pull, and Joe was ignoring it. He was denying himself the pleasure of Stephanie. She had pulled back as well. Maybe they were finally grown up and maybe Joe and Maria had a chance. She smiled at him and started toward her bedroom.

"What are you doing up this early?" he asked. "I'm usually gone before you get up."

"Early morning command performance before the boss," she said. "He called and I obey."

"I hope things go well," Joe said. "You think he's still pissed about Julie?"

"Probably, but he said this was business. Don't worry about me, Joe. I can take care of myself." She gave him a sweet and sincere smile and closed her bedroom door after her.