Chapter 4
Because of their busy schedules Akira and Hikaru couldn't play at the salon anymore but one week later they both found a free day. They planed on using that day to show each other the kifus from the important games they had that week and discuss them and maybe even to play a game or two. (though they never played two games in one day before since Hikaru left the salon before they finished discussing the first one)
Hikaru entered the salon and headed to the back of room where Akira was sitting in front of a table with kifus spread all over.
"Good morning" said Hikaru who noticed Akira didn't see him coming. "Are those your games?"
"Shindou, you're here."
"Yeah."
"These are the games my next week opponents had last week. I didn't play some of them in a long time and I want to be prepared."
"Let me see…I might be able to help you with this." Hikaru took the kifus and read the names of the players "Matsunaga Toshiyuki, I played him last week. He's nothing to worry about…Kamimaezu Hiroshi, I'll play him in the last week…."
"Shindou?"
"Hm?"
"What have you decided?" Hikaru put the papers down and sighed.
"Do we have to talk about that right now?"
"We'll have to talk about it eventually and I'd rather talk about it now." Akira's voice was very firm and Hikaru knew that he couldn't avoid it anymore.
"I don't want to decide anything" he said nearly whispering "I love both of you, I can't choose."
Akira felt that he couldn't stand this anymore. He couldn't stay in Hikaru's presence without getting hysterical so he left the salon with a concerned Hikaru behind him.
"Will you stop following me?" he shouted when Hikaru caught up with him.
"Will you stop acting like a spoiled brat?"
"Now I'm a spoiled brat? What about you? You are the one who wants everything."
"I don't want everything, I just want the two persons I love the most."
"Most people have one lover at a time, you know?"
"You're not making this easy for me Toya."
"You are making it hard for both of us." Hikaru didn't answer. Akira never gave up when they argued so it was up to him to end this stupid fight. He grabbed Akira's waist with one hand and he used the other one to turn Akira's head so their eyes could meet then closed the small distance between them. He felt Akira relaxing in his arms and passionately kissing back, moaning when he deepened the kiss.
When they broke from the kiss, Hikaru could see the tears in Akira's eyes even though Akira tried to avoid his gaze. "I don't want to lose that… I don't want to lose you…."whispered Akira.
"You won't, I promise."
-
A few more weeks had passed and the go player's schedules were more acceptable, so Hikaru decided to start working on his homework but not before a deserved brake. He decided to throw a party and invite Toya and Rey.
One of these days his parents had to leave on a trip and they would be away for two days. He thought of this as the perfect opportunity to make things turn around the way he wanted. He picked up his cell phone and pressed the speed dial button for Akira's number.
"Hello!"
"Hey Toya, It's me."
"I know that."
"I was wondering if you would like to come to a party on Saturday…."
"Shindou, you know I don't go to parties."
"…at my place."
"That's one more reason for me not to come."
"Huh? Why?"
"Your friends will be there, right? I don't want Waya to spoil everything just because I'm there too."
"He won't say anything, I promise. Do it for me, please."
"Fine but I won't stay long."
"You don't have to. I'll give you a call to tell you the details."
Akira was trembling. He knew that all of Hikaru's friends would be there and….Rey. They were officially together, the entire go Institute knew about them but he wasn't ready to accept them as a couple. He still had hope after those kisses. He knew that Rey knew about the one in the park when he confessed to Hikaru but the other one was still their secret, his and Hikaru's and he wanted to keep it that way for now.
Akira was afraid, he was for the first time afraid of going in public because he knew that this time it would be hard for him to keep the polite image he always had when he was in the presence of the pros. He knew that in Hikaru's presence his feelings will became obvious for everyone.
But he couldn't run now. He had already promised Hikaru that he'll be there and Toya Akira keeps his promises.
-
The day of the party came fast and everyone was looking forward to it, everyone except for Akira. Akira wasn't expecting so many people at that party, he thought that only the friends Hikaru had among the pros and the inseis would be there but then he realized that Hikaru was a social person, he had friends outside the world of go too.
Hikaru's house was full, everyone was there: his friends from the go club at school, Nase, Honda and Fuku (who were still insei) Waya, Isumi and surprisingly Ochi, Yashiro and Kaga and of course Akira who was sitting in a corner with a glass in his hand desperately trying not to draw attention upon him.
"What are you doing here?" said Hikaru approaching him.
"You asked me to come remember?"
"That's not what I mean. What are you doing all alone in this corner?"
"I'm enjoying my drink." Hikaru took the glass Akira was holding and put it down. "What are you doing?"
"Come with me!" said Hikaru dragging him upstairs.
They went in Hikaru's room and Hikaru closed the door after him.
"What's this all about?"
"We need to talk. Akira….Why do you like me?"
"I don't like you…I….love you" he whispered.
"Why?"
"Because….." this was embarrassing. "Because you are the only one who understands me and sees me the way I am and we share the same love for go. I've never met someone like you before. Everyone saw in me as the son of the Meijin or some arrogant brat who likes to show off just because he can play a stupid game. As for the girls….they only see a boy who is not only rich but cute too, a perfect potential boyfriend. It makes me sick, that's why I decided to live the way I did up until now. You were different Shindou…you gave me everything I didn't have."
"Uau, I wasn't expecting such a confession from you." Hikaru was really surprised since the Akira he knew didn't talk too much about himself. Lately however Akira opened himself more to Hikaru, especially after he confessed his love.
"Don't laugh at me idiot!"
"I'm not laughing. You know Toya…"
"Huh?"
"There is one more person who likes you for who you are and not because you would be a perfect boyfriend."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's you who seems to hate her though."
"What do you mean?"
"Rey likes you Akira."
"I don't hate her."
"You didn't understand me, Toya. She likes you likes you."
"But she…..she's your girlfriend."
"There aren't borders in love. You don't have to stop loving someone just because you also love someone else. I can't make you love her I'm just asking you not to try to stop me from loving both of you just as much. I'll be waiting for you Toya, I'll wait as long as it takes." Saying this Hikaru left the room leaving Akira lost in his thoughts.
He wasn't ready to go back at the party. Hikaru's words bothered him a little. Now he was sure that Hikaru didn't want to leave Rey no matter what and he was disappointed.
It had taken Akira a lot of time to accept that he loves a boy. He was raised in a traditional Japanese family that didn't accept gay people and he imagined his parents reaction if they found out. It was nasty.
There was a knock on the door and the door slowly opened as Rey stepped in.
"Are you alright?" she asked "You've been in here all alone for quite some time."
"Oh, I'm sorry…I was just thinking and…I didn't notice the time passing by." She went to sit near him but Akira pulled back increasing the distance between them.
"I don't bite you know" she said as she noticed his reaction.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…" he stuttered.
"Your reaction just now…he told you didn't he? He told you that I like you too. I love Hikaru, I don't want to loose him but I don't mind sharing him with you. Is it really that bad…to share?"
"It's not normal. For one person there should be only one love at a time."
"Is it normal to have a lover of the same gender as you?"
Akira hesitated "…No" he finally said looking at the floor. "I'm a bit confused. I never imagined myself in this situation. I always thought of Shindou as my rival and nothing else, I have no idea when I started to have these…feelings for him."
"There's nothing wrong with your feelings and there's nothing wrong with his feelings either. If you just accept me you can have what you desire. You don't have to love me you just have to accept my relationship with Hikaru."
"Have you ever thought what will happen to our career if people find out?" Akira found the courage to look her in the eyes again.
"I don't care what happens just as long as I can be with the ones I love and I'm sure Hikaru feels the same. Now come on, let's go back to the party" she grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs.
"Toya what took you so long?" said Hikaru pretending he was angry "We can't have fun without you here."
"Why? Are you playing go and you need a challenging opponent for a change?" he joked.
"Now that is Toya's sense of humor mina-san. I'm gonna get you for that, Toya just wait and see. I can be a challenge for these guys here anytime and anywhere. I can even play all of them blindfolded and win" shouted Hikaru.
"Really? Wanna try that?" said the others in unison coming closer to Hikaru. Hikaru stepped back trying to defend himself.
"Help me Toya" he said bumping into the green haired boy who was standing behind him.
"No way, you got yourself into it on your own so you find a way out but…" he leaned closer to Hikaru's ear "I'm willing to try Hikaru…I'm willing to make us both happy…no…make it the three of us" he whispered.
Wow it's finally over. I know this is crappy since I didn't have any inspiration at all. At first I didn't want to finish it but the reviews I received encouraged me to go on. Thanks for the R&R mina-san. Arigatou and I promise to write something better next time.