A/N I promise myself (and you) this will be done before Christmas. Then I think I'll take a break…followed possibly by more SasuNaru xD or maybe NaruSasu. I don't know yet. Let me know what you think about this one…

I do not own Naruto. I do, however, own some Naruto merchandise given to me as early Christmas gifts…and I must say, it makes me quite happy.

Oh – slight AU warning, I guess. The Uchiha past is kept a secret from the villagers of Konoha here, and when Sasuke first met Itachi, Naruto wasn't with him.

And a shonen-ai warning. Beware the uke Naruto…

Now, on with the show…

What on earth are we going to do

I felt my heart quicken, its thumps echoing in my unfamiliarly quiet head. Never before had I been alone with Sasuke like this. What were we going to talk about? What had I gotten myself into? Furthermore, it was Christmas Eve, and it would be Christmas Day in a mere matter of hours. I didn't have a gift for him, or a tree, or anything special. Maybe Sasuke would have been happier alone in his own home…

"It's cold," he grunted.

I jumped slightly. I had been so lost in my panicked thoughts that I didn't even realize Sasuke had moved closer to me as we walked, so that his shoulder was pressed up against mine.

"Wh-what?"

"It's cold," he repeated through teeth he was trying so hard not to let chatter, "and for some reason your body is a lot warmer than mine."

I would have laughed at his moment of frailty, but there were three factors that made me keep my mouth shut. For one thing, I was only warm because despite the fact that my brain was Kyuubi-free, the demon's presence keeps my torso a few degrees above normal in all temperatures. For another thing, Sasuke really did look like he was freezing. The winds had gotten stronger as the night approached, and snow continued to find its way into our faces. His cheeks were even pinker than before, with his eyes slitted against the icy drops.

And the third factor? Well, through the snow, and the shivers, and the scarf wrapped tight around his neck –

Sasuke was beautiful.

I couldn't believe I was thinking it, but also couldn't believe that I haven't noticed before. His skin was so smooth, taut in all the right places. His dark hair flowed elegantly against his face. There was something about that skin, honestly – I just wanted to reach out and touch it, see if it was as soft as it looked – but argh! What am I thinking?!

"Are you okay, Naruto?" He sounded slightly worried. God, could this walk be any slower? Only a block more to my house…oh thank goodness… "I – I could move away if you want me to--"

"No!" I exclaimed, way too exuberantly. I felt my face flush, even through the chills. "I mean – no. That's okay."

We walked in embarrassed silence, our bodies close together. I was eternally grateful when we finally reached my door.

"So…um…this is my house," I said, nervous beyond all belief. He didn't even look around; he just removed his coat and folded it neatly in the foyer. Despite the fact that my heat was turned on nearly all the way, he was still shivering. Uchihas are associated with fire, as is well known, and I guess they're fairly hot-blooded. "D'you wanna sit down?"

Wordlessly, he sat on the couch. An idea struck me, and with a be right back I went to the box of hot chocolate mix I keep in my cabinet. Looking out into the living room as I waited for the water to heat, I had another idea. I quietly snuck into my bedroom and pulled a comforter off the mattress. I struggled to keep quiet as I lugged the puffy blanket back to the couch and --

"What the--?!"

I smirked and allowed myself a little laugh, since the Kyuubi was still silent. Imagine me sneaking up on Sasuke! Even if it was just to wrap a blanket around his shaking shoulders.

He looked up at me from inside the cowl of the comforter. At first I thought he was going to yell at me for startling him, but then a grin spread across his face. Which, in turn, made my smile grow even bigger.

"Thanks," he – whoa – blushed. For some reason, making Sasuke blush made me rather proud of myself. I poured the hot chocolate and handed him a cup.

"It's not as good as Kiba's mom's but it's not too bad," I said, taking a sip. He shifted slightly so I could sit next to him on the couch.

"Yeah," he responded. I had a feeling the conversation was about to die out, so I went out on a limb before I could help myself.

"Why don't you like Christmas, Sasuke?"

He looked at me for a long time before answering. His eyes drove into mine, as if he was studying me, to see if I was worth confiding in. I held my breath.

And then – I knew I had won. The shadow over his eyes lifted and his lips parted. He was going to tell me.

"When I was very little," he began in a low voice, "my family had the best Christmases. We would decorate the entire estate. It would look like…oh, I don't know….it had presents and trees and tinsel and lights….it was beautiful. My father would bring home the best gifts, and my mother would cook pounds of food that never lost its flavor and my--" He paused here, and closed his eyes for a moment. Instinctively, I felt myself move towards him. "My brother would help me decorate. It was my favorite time of year, from the beginning of December all the way to the 25th. We weren't just happy. We were at peace."

I had never heard Sasuke or anyone else talk about the Uchiha clan very much before. I did know that his parents died, but I didn't know the details. And I never knew he had a brother.

"It sounds fantastic, Sasuke – I don't get it." How could such happy memories make him hate the holiday?

"My brother killed my family when I was nine."

What in the world can you say to that? My heart just about stopped. My jaw fell open.

"After that, I spent every Christmas, Christmas Eve, and pretty much every other day of my life training in order to kill him and avenge my clan."

"Sasuke…" Without meaning to, I felt my hand place itself on his knee.

"But the last time I faced him," he was shaking now, "I couldn't do anything. He forced me away. And he said to me…You are weak…why are you weak?"

Ohh.

Shit.

"And now you probably don't want anything to do with me, and you just feel sorry for me. Which is why I never told anyone. Dammit!" He slammed the mug on the coffee table; looking absolutely furious.

"I don't want to have nothing to do with you, Sasuke," I said quietly. He looked at me, eyes burning with the flames that erupted in them when I had unknowingly quoted the most hated man in his universe. "I can't say I know exactly how you feel. No one can. But I do know what it's like to be alone, with only the voices you pray every night you won't hear haunting your nightmares. I know what it's like to have something evil burning inside you, even though my demon is an actual demon, while yours is something no less powerful – revenge. And I know that when you're around me, for some reason that demon goes away, and I don't know why. So I will never want to have nothing to do with you." I gave a little sad smile and shook my head. "That pain? The twisting one that writhes in the pit of your stomach, gnawing at who you really are? When I'm with you, I don't feel it. I want to make your pain stop too."

Silence. He stares at me and I stare at him and I don't regret anything and oh God I can't believe the world could be this quiet.

And then his hand was in my hair and the blanket I had wrapped around him was around me too and his breathing was ragged in my ear. I felt his thumb trace its way down the scars on my cheek and I shuddered. One of what was quickly becoming the best things in my life and the mark of the bane of my existence, coming in such close contact – it was too much for me to take. I let my head rest in the crook of his shoulder, just where it morphed into his smooth neck. I'm not sure if it was just the tiredness of the day making me hallucinate slightly, but I could swear I felt his arms wrap around me. And on my shoulder, I think I could feel moistness, as if teardrops were dripping onto it. Dream or not, I let my arms wrap around him, and I'm pretty sure I could feel him adjust his legs slightly so I was nearly sitting in his lap.

I felt his forehead bend to touch mine and I opened the eyes I hadn't realized were closed. He was looking right at me, with a different kind of fire this time.

"Naruto…"

I don't know why I was so tired all of a sudden, but I could feel myself falling asleep even as my head was gently positioned so he was cradling it.

"I know why the Kyuubi's presence leaves you."

Must...stay…awake…this sounds important…

"Why?"

"I did some research two weeks ago. The demons – when they are implanted in a Jinchuuriki, they are triggered by emotion. But when an emotion so powerful completely fills a host such as yourself, there is no room for the Kyuubi to express any of its own emotions." His voice floated towards me as I tried to process it.

"An emotion?" I asked sleepily. I felt stray hairs being brushed out of my eyes by fingers more delicate than seemed humanly possible. "Like what?"

"Well, it can be an all-consuming hatred, I suppose. More all-consuming than you have felt. Emotions have to be very strong to block out a demon like the Kyuubi, and you just don't have that hatred in you. Or a sadness, or maybe excitement. The thing is," he continued, "the books I was reading said most of the time these emotions are almost 95 subconscious, that is, the container won't be fully aware he's experiencing that emotion until they realize their demon's absence or someone points it out."

"But Sasuke," I murmured, "what emotion is it that blocks out the Kyuubi, then? I've never noticed an absence before…"

"Well, it's subconscious, right?" he said in a pondering tone. "So maybe it's sorrow."

"Mmmm."

"Maybe it's loneliness."

"Mmmm." Was his voice getting nearer?

"Maybe it's love."

My eyes flew open to see his softly smiling face only a few inches away. It was incredible how unguarded he was. He didn't look anything like the Sasuke I knew and yet -- he did. All of a sudden, I knew this was Sasuke. This was Sasuke before the tragedy of his clan, this is the Sasuke that no one else living has ever seen, save for the man who caused this Sasuke to hide behind a mask of solitude and arrogance.

And looking up at him, I knew he was right. My heart was practically ripping itself out my chest just to get closer to him.

When had I fallen in love? I never thought I could. But Sasuke brought his face even closer, so his mouth was just a millimeter from mine, and there was no doubt left in my mind.

"So what do you think?" I could taste his chocolatey breath as he spoke.

"Maybe you're right," I heard myself say.

I was so close to slipping into sleep, but before I did, I could feel his lips parting my own. I could feel one hand slide lightly up my chest while the other remained intertwined in my hair. After a moment of unreal bliss, I felt his mouth move up to kiss my closed eyelid and I knew he was about to get up to let me sleep.

"Wait--" I grabbed his shirtfront and pulled him back on top of me. I was about to sound very immature, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Yes?"

"Do you still hate Christmas?"

I heard a typical Sasuke-pause, then a sincere laugh, then I felt his lips meet mine for an all-too-brief moment.

"Now that I think of it, I guess I never really hated Christmas. I just hated being alone."

"You're not alone anymore," I said, and I was talking to myself as much as I was to him. I think he knew it.

"Naruto…"

"Mmmm?"

He kissed one of my scars gently.

"Thank you."

Not quite the end yet – one more chapter, I think!