'I'm so sorry' Laika repeated 'but okay, we'll be the first to arrive out of all Districts. The last one, I believe 27, will reach the Head City in 3 days from now. You can count on some more attention than others. The second District to arrive is 19 and they will at 4 a.m., so the press will most likely pay way more attention to you. You know, the Head City is exploding with tension because the Games are almost starting again. I'm afraid we'll just have to hang around in the Tribute Center for half a week until the preliminaries will be held.'

I looked outside, where we were just passing some gray hills.

'How many days?' I asked.

Laika was looking at his shoes. 'Five'

I felt the cold wall I had built around me the past years melting away. There was a possibility of being dead by next week. Damn.

'However' he continued 'I am not allowed to give you any tips on what is waiting for you or just regular survival tips. I am an escort, not a mentor.'

'But you know what they are planning?' Rose asked.

'Yes. They've notified all mentors and escorts a few weeks ago about the arenas and everything that goes with them.'

Suddenly I remembered what I promised to Mrs Johnson. I was going to improve my behavior. I would show the good side of me and then I would receive sponsor gifts. I just had to survive the preliminaries so I could show everyone I knew how to behave.

'How old are you?' Laika inquired.

'All seventeen' Kara said.

He nodded and stared at us for a while. 'I think that in case someone proceeds to the actual Games, the stylists will have to do a hell of a job.'

I was offended but I knew I looked like a cheap slut. My hair was too long.

'Well, we'll have a lot of time to get to know each other the following days. I don't want to bother you with the heavy stuff while we're still at the train. Why don't you explore a bit, or watch some television.' He said. I was thankful. I had to distract myself.

Rose and Flora remained sitting on the couch, just staring lifelessly ahead. Jess wasn't there and Kara seemed lost in thought. It was against my whole nature and character to say thank you to Laika, but I still made a small nod. I appeared to be the only one from us who had an urge to move, just like the nature outside did at 200 miles per hour.

I tried to be as quiet as possible while opening the door and creeping into the corridor. I passed a servant – he looked at me as if he wanted to say 'poor girl'. Jesus, they really were planning dreadful things this year.

It was twilight and I was getting nervous. I had to make a good impression while arriving at the Head City. I had to make people like me.

No one liked me. Only Kara did, but she was exactly the same as me. Rose and Flora where light versions of us. Everyone who met me for the first time agreed I was rude and simple. Since I can remember Apparently, when my parents were still alive, I used to be rather normal, but since they died…well, not really.

Again I heard struggling sounds coming from the other side of the corridor. I followed the noise. It sounded like a fight. I put my ear against the thin wall and slowly walked to the door belonging to the cabin where it came from. There was a window in the door, so I peeked through the glass.

'Come on, honey, put the needle down.'

There were two women in the room. One of them was sitting on the ground while the other was hanging in her arms. I shook. The second woman looked so insane and useless it seemed unnatural. She was rolling with her grey eyes, made a weak move with her arm and put an injection needle into the other woman's hands, who put it down behind her.

'Well done, Charlotte.'

I realized I was pressing my nose against the window in tension.

That was our mentor? The weak woman, Charlotte, laid in the other woman's arms while her whole body was trembling and tears were everywhere. Her long, blonde hair was as messy as mine and was everywhere it could reach. Her clothes were dirty. Although she didn't look like it, she could impossible be over 30.

My knees gave up and I sat down on the ground. Did I look like that when I was under influence of morphling? Was I just as insane, lifeless and sleazy? I didn't dare to look. That woman was the only thing we had in the arena.

I buried my head in my hands. Soon after that the door opened. The normal, healthy woman came out and almost tripped over me.

'Oh, who are you? Let me guess, one of the tributes?' she sounded like she regretted it.

'Yes' I felt like I was losing my sanity already. And suddenly I knew what I needed.

The woman walked away. I got up, peeked through the door again and took a deep breath. I knew how to do this. I had to communicate with an under influence Kara sometimes.

I opened the door carefully and walked into my mentors coupé. She was laying on the bed, taking deep breaths, eyes closed. Probably going through the hallicunation-fase. She shook and opened her eyes. It was hard to tell if she was pretty, thanks to the strange facial expression and the messy makeup.

I took one step.

'Miss?' I whispered

She moved her head a little.

'We'll be arriving in an hour or so.' I continued.

'Where?' her voice sounded confused and not present.

'The Head City' I mumbled. Every second I felt sicker than the one before. Why was I doing this?

'Can I…have some?' my common sense screamed at me for saying it, shouting it was stupid, but I was too depressed. Charlotte nodded and I walked carefully to the injection needle that was laying on a table. I stretched my fingers and took it. And as soon as the morphling reached my veins, a warm, tickling feeling spread all over my body. I relaxed immediately and sat down on the ground. The colors were brighter and the silence was so serene it was magical. My mentor was staring at me and I noticed a small smile forming on her thin lips. Everything went quicker than I expected. I felt it coming and then…

I vomited on the floor. I should have known, a voice said in my head, but I couldn't listen to it. Alcohol and morphling wasn't a good combination. My hands were planted in the carpet while puke was everywhere, on my clothes, on the floor.

Charlotte was laughing really softly.

The floor looked so comfortable. I laid down my head. Just nothing going through my thoughts, a moment of relaxation…

The door made a sharp click when it opened and I saw someone enter who slapped her hand against her mouth. It was Jess. Hm, I wanted to hit her, but I didn't want to come up, so I just made a fist with my hand.

She looked at Charlotte, me and the vomit.

'What have you done here?!' she whispered eventually.

I just laughed. Jess got down on her knees and wanted to lift me up.

However, when I felt her hands touching my shoulders, I felt a threat and I hit her. I growled. Somewhere in my mind I knew the morphling made me do horrible things, but I was too weak to fight against it. I clawed her neck and her arms with my nails. Charlotte had fallen off the bed and was laying on the floor, unconscious. I pushed Jess away with all the force I could find. She hit the corner of a closet with her head. She started crying.

Again, more people came in. Some of them ran to Jess to help her get up and take her away while they tried to stop the bleeding on her head. Others picked up Charlotte. But most of them, including someone I recognized as Laika, jumped on top of me. I struggled and moaned, but it didn't matter.

I didn't remember how long ago I took the dose of morphling, but it wasn't a big dose so it wouldn't be long before I was sober again.

I let the people take me outside. Laika told the men to look out for the puddle of vomit. They put me down in another coupé, which was empty apart from some chairs.

Laika was the only one who was with me in the coupé. He gave me a glass of water. I drank it, not realizing how thirsty I actually was. When I was finished he put the glass on the ground, sat down on a chair and folded his arms. I was looking at my feet.

'They will have to stitch the girl's head.' He said.

'Good' I said 'stupid bitch. I hate her.'

Laika suddenly stood up and grabbed my arms tightly. 'Listen' he said 'This can not happen again. You need to take this seriously. This will have consequences. This is about your survival, your life, not about expressing hate in others!'

Ik was ashamed.

'We'll arrive in an hour. Will you be sober then?' he asked. I nodded.

'We need to support Charlotte as good as possible, so she won't make a fool out of herself.'

'Is she ever sober?' I asked high-pitched.

'Rarely. But, Abbey, I wanted to talk to you about you.' Laika mumbled 'are you a morphling addict?'

'Yes' I said truthfully.

'Since when?'

'A couple of years' I whispered 'but I will become a better person, I swear!'

'I will tell you one thing' he said 'please make sure you're sober when you are in public. That will be the most important thing the following days.'

I nodded and knew my face was red. Apart from Mrs Johnson, no one ever talked to me like that. What were these people doing to me, making me behave like this? Maybe it was the promise I made to our school psychologist. And I knew it was very important to keep it, because with Charlotte as our mentor, I couldn't count on decent sponsor gifts. The thought of the unconscious woman frightened me.

'I already told the others, but here are some clothes and a hairbrush, please do something about your appearance, or else we'll be the laughing stock of the Head City and the Capitol.'

He gave me a pile of fabrics.

'I won't look' he grinned, and he turned around.

I smiled, took my clothes off and put the new ones on. They were probably more expensive than all the other clothes I'd ever had.