The Hotchner Household
Chapter 4: You are my God-Given Solace
Aaron walked into his house late that night, it was his fourth week on the road...he had been asked to go on a case. Actually, he had been traveling for the past few months, something that didn't make him very happy, but as the Section Chief of the BAU, he simply couldn't say no when his presence was needed especially now that the Directors of the FBI had interviewed him for the Director of the FBI position. It was being rumored among everybody that he was going to get the position, so the pressure was on him, and he had been asked to help in several cases and even travel a lot more than he was supposed to. It had been years since he had actually traveled with the team on a case, but it seemed that over the last couple of months, they had needed him case after case. Hell, he had not even made it home in over two weeks; they had gone on one case after another, and he hadn't made it back to Washington before they were in the air again. He only got a few minutes to call his family and tell them he had to go on another case. The kids were not happy, of course...they had planned to go camping that weekend, and now the plan was canceled because of his job. Jack was the oldest and the one who understood the most how important his dad's job was...he knew his dad was out there saving the world, and he wouldn't leave his family alone unless it was really needed.
Isabella was hurt at first, but she also understood that sometimes his job required him to go out of town on cases, and as mad as she was, she knew her dad was doing a good thing. Alex, of course, was hurt and cried for a while because daddy wasn't coming and their camping trip wasn't happening, but he promised he would make it up to her...still for a five year old, breaking a promise was a big deal and making it up in the future wasn't very promising. Emily was beyond mad! She had always supported his job and the requirements that came with it, but over the last few months, she had hardly seen her husband, and she knew he wasn't supposed to travel anymore. It was just the Directors pushing him to go on cases, and his inability to say 'no' when it was needed. So, this time, she ended up hanging up the phone on him, before he could finish apologizing properly and Aaron knew she was pissed off. As much as it hurt him, he would come back home and make it up to her, even though he knew that would be a tough one. He walked into his house and placed his briefcase down on the table by the door, then walked into the kitchen where all his family were gathered together.
"Hello guys, sorry I'm home this late." He apologized, walking further into the kitchen.
"Daddy!" Alex got up from the table where her and her mother were going over homework and ran into her dad's arms. He picked her up and kissed her, smiling widely.
"Hi, my princess." He hugged her tightly. Then, it was Isabella who walked into his embrace.
"Welcome home, daddy." She smiled, hugging him.
"Hey, buddy, I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it in time for the camping trip, guys." He said, as he pulled Jack into a hug as well.
"It's okay, dad, we know you have to work, we had a nice barbecue with grandma, we can go next month." Jack said nicely.
"Can we still go this weekend, daddy?" Alex asked sweetly.
"Daddy has to work this weekend, too, but I promise you as soon as I'm back, I'll take you guys camping."
"But, then it won't be school break anymore." Isabella pointed out sadly, as Emily shook her head at him.
"I promise you that we will go camping, guys. I'll find a way, and I'll take you, okay?" He vowed. Emily stood up from the table and walked toward the stove while avoiding him.
"I'll serve you dinner." She said coldly, walking past him; he knew she was still very upset, so he followed after her and tried to pull her into his arms to kiss her, but she pulled away turning her face away from his kiss.
"Baby, I'm so sorry." He begged, kissing her cheek as once again she pulled away from him. Aaron sighed, he would try to talk to her later that night, since normally they wouldn't discuss their issues in front of their children. He focused on his dinner while catching up with the kids before they went to bed. After Emily ordered them to get ready for bed, Aaron went upstairs to take a shower, then Emily put the children to bed. When he came out of the shower, Emily wasn't in the bedroom, so he quickly went to check up on the kids before he headed to find her so they could talk. First was Alex's room...he walked into the dark room where the princess night light was the only thing on; his baby girl was already asleep, her favorite doll tucked underneath her arm. He pulled the cover up to her face and placed a kiss on his baby girl's face. Then, he went to the next room, Isabella's room, the teenager was already in bed, but she wasn't asleep, she was texting with whom he assumed to be Erica, her best friend.
"You are supposed to be asleep, missy." He said, smiling at her.
"I know, daddy, I was just saying goodnight to my friends." His daughter smiled at him.
"Girlfriends, I presume, since you aren't allowed to talk to boys?" He said firmly. Isabella laughed at the horrified look on her dad's face.
"Yes, daddy, girls, it's Erica and Sarah. I've already told you I don't like boys, they're stupid." She said, smiling.
"Good, keep it that way for the next twenty years, will you please?" He begged.
"I'll try." Isabella smiled again, reminding him of her mother.
"Listen, sweetie, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make it home in time for the camping trip. I promise I'll make it up to you guys." He apologized again.
"It's okay, daddy. We know you have to work." She said smiling.
"You guys are more important than my job, I promise you that, and the trip will happen, okay? I promise I'll make it up to you guys." He promised, smiling at his daughter.
"I know, daddy. You have never broken a promise to us." Bella smiled, kissing her dad's cheek.
"Goodnight, sweetie." He kissed her, too, and stood up from her bed.
"Goodnight, daddy." Bella said, as her dad turned off the lights in her room.
He then went into Jack's room; Jack was still up going over some homework at his desk. Jack's room was completely neat and organized, nothing like a teenager's room, he was his father's son after all.
"Still going over homework?" Hotch asked, walking in and smiling at his younger version.
"Yeah, I have a chemistry test tomorrow, not one of my favorites." Jack pointed out, smirking at his dad.
"I'm sure you'll do great, you always do." He sat down at the edge of his bed,
"Jack, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make it back in time for the camping trip."
"It's okay, dad, you have to work...I get that. I know how much you sacrifice for our family." Jack answered maturely.
"Jack, you and your sisters and your mother are the most important thing in the world to me."
"Dad, you don't have to tell me that, I already know it, it really is okay, we can go camping some other time." Jack smiled sweetly. He truly was an amazing boy.
"You're an amazing kid, you know that, your mother would be very proud of you." He smiled, proud of his creation.
"I've got the best parents in the world." Hotch smiled deeper and stood up from the bed, placing a kiss on his son's forehead.
"Don't stay up too late, okay?" He said, as he was walking toward the door.
"She'll be fine, you know, she'll get over it." Jack said.
"What?"
"Mom, she's mad, but you know she can never stay mad at you for too long." Jack said, referring to Emily.
"I really hope so." He joked and closed the door, then returned to the master bedroom looking for Emily, but she still wasn't there. He finally decided to go find her, knowing she was very angry with him, but he wanted to sleep with her in the same bed that night...he missed having her warm body beside him at night. He slowly made his way downstairs searching for his wife; he finally found her in the office going over some papers. He walked in the office slowly and leaned against the doorframe.
"Are you going to come to bed at all tonight...or am I going to sleep alone?" Emily, however, just ignored him and continued working on whatever she was working on.
"Come on, Em, how much longer are you going to be mad at me? I've already said I was sorry." He said sadly.
"Sorry, isn't good enough." She finally snarled, and he sighed and walked further into the office.
"I had no choice, Emily, it's my job. I need you to understand that." He said, crossing his arms.
"Oh no, don't give me that crap. I have always supported you and your job." She said angrily, finally standing up from the desk.
"I know, but I still have an obligation to my job, Emily, I can't just ignore that." He tried to explain.
"You also have an obligation to this family, Aaron, and it seems that you're forgetting that." She said angrily...she didn't want to be that woman, but there were things they needed to discuss.
"You don't have to tell me that, Emily, this isn't fair." He said hurt.
"No, you know what's not fair...that you promised your children for two months that you would take them camping, and I had three children with broken hearts over the weekend wondering why their dad wasn't there when he had promised to be." She said, raising her voice slightly.
"I had to go on that case, Emily, I'm trying to do my best." He recited tiredly. He didn't want to get into this...he hated arguing with her, they truly never did, but when they did argue, they were usually fights that did not have a happy ending.
"No, Aaron, that isn't going to work anymore, you didn't have to go on that case, and you know that, and so do I. Now, I know I'm starting to sound like Haley to you, but this isn't okay."
"Don't bring her into this, Emily. I have never compared you to her. I don't even know why you are mentioning her." He said angrily.
"Because you're making it sound as if I'm the bad wife who doesn't understand your job and what you have to do." She screamed back. He just shook his head...this wasn't really the outcome he had expected.
"I never said that, Emily, all I need you to understand is that it's my job, sometimes I have to make those sacrifices, you know the job, Emily, you've been there more than anyone...you should understand what the BAU is."
"Oh I do, I loved my job, and it was the most important thing until the strip turned pink...in that moment, my children became the most important thing." She said, hurt.
"I made sacrifices, too, Aaron, I gave up my job to be with our children, and I don't regret it, but we both made a promise...you do remember that promise, don't you?" She asked, as tears formed in her eyes.
"Yes." Aaron said, closing his eyes; Emily had quit her job after Alexandra was born; while she managed to make it work with their first daughter and get away with flying occasionally and taking care of her daughter, with two kids, it was an entirely different story. She had always loved the BAU, and the ups and downs that came with it, but she loved her daughters even more, and she had decided it was time to focus on them and teach at the FBI Academy part time and be a full time mother. Then, after that, Jack's mother passed away and it was even harder for Emily to raise three children on her own and for Hotch to travel all the time, so he took the desk position realizing it was time for him to let that bird go, too, and dedicate his time to his family. As the Section Chief, he didn't have to travel anymore, and he had a 9 to 5 life, which he could devote to his wife and children. After all, he was now in his late fifties and Emily was in her late forties, and the days of going after unsubs and kicking down doors were over. He took the desk job and dedicated his off time to his family, but in the last six months, they had asked him if he could help with one case, just one case and that was all. Emily knew immediately they would make it a constant thing if he accepted, and that they would have him going on case after case if he accepted. Aaron promised it wouldn't happen, and it would be that one case, but as always, she turned out to be right and over the last six months he had to constantly travel. They had argued a couple times over it, but it now seemed that Emily had had enough.
"Then, you need to decide what is more important to you, Aaron...your job or this family!" She said, with tears in her eyes.
"You don't have to tell me that, Emily, my family is the most important thing to me." He said, hurt.
"Oh, really? Then, where were you last week when you promised to take us all camping? God, Aaron, do you even know what day yesterday was...why it was important?" She asked, her voice breaking.
"The twenty-fourth, but what does that have to..." Then it hit him. How could he be so clueless, no wonder she was so upset, he was starting to think she was overreacting...
Their Anniversary!
"Oh God, Baby, I'm so sorry!" He said, as tears rolled down her face..
"Happy Anniversary, Aaron. You can go to your next case, I don't care anymore." She said, as tears streamed down her face, walking past him and climbing the upstairs.