When England next opened his eyes he was in a large room filled with fine furniture and was on one of the softest beds he had ever lain on. Chambers fit for a king, probably because he had already been crowned one. Arthur sat up on his bed and looked around a bit more. This was the luxury he had been accustomed to centuries ago but still, it was different now that he was actually king and not just the country. It felt kind of...strange. For England, anything strange was never a good thing.

He wanted to get on with the story as quickly as possible so he forced himself to recall what came next. The next significant part the fairies would probably play out would include the wedding of Arthur and Guinevere and the establishment of the Round Table. Well, the fact that there was no queen in his bedroom told him that he wasn't married to any Guinevere yet.

Marriage was something Arthur never contemplated for centuries and something he never thought he would have to think about again (with the independent nature of countries these days). He couldn't even think about the idea of being eternally bound with anyone else much less with a foreign princess name Guinevere. She was also the queen who would eventually cheat on him for the infamous Lancelot du Lac, whose last name just happened to be French. Every country knew that England had problems with the French, and this didn't improve his impression of Guinevere. The thought of the marriage made his temper rise.

A knock on the door did not help matters. What made it worse was the fact that the person at the door was knocking in a persistently annoying and repetitive rhythm.

"Who is it?" he had to stop himself from launching into an angry string of words, complaints and etc. Why did King Arthur have to be so...unlike him? It made things even harder than the fairies originally planned it to be.

"It's your beloved brother, Kai," said the person at the door.

'Beloved, indeed,' England thought sarcastically. "What do you want?" he asked. "Annoying bugger," he added in a softer voice.

Kai obviously did not hear this last part because he didn't complain like typical America. "You need to get ready, Art- Your Grace. The day is growing ripe."

´The day is growing ripe? Where did that expression come from?' It was nice to hear America refer to him as Your Grace, though.

"Now open the door. Do you want to be late for your own wedding day?" continued America. Now this just confirmed England's most feared suspicions, marriage. Oh, why did the fairies have to be so predictable? The question could also be: Why did he always have to be right?

"Alright, then," England forced himself to say. "Come in." The door opened and in came America with half a dozen attendants ready to get him ready for the said occasion. He had to raise his voice and punch two of them to get them to stop trying to dress him.

"Bloody gits, I can dress myself!" he practically shouted. They all looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to do as he just said.

"Not in front of all of you!" England exclaimed and they all bustled out in fear of King Arthur's temper. All of them except Kai who was leaning on the wall near the already closing door.

"Tsk tsk, Your Grace. Stooping so low as to punch your attendants? If you didn't want to get married to this Guinevere woman you could've just said so. Or are you just not ready?" Kai asked, probably trying to provoke him.

England had to control his temper before replying to Kai, "I never said that I didn't want to do everything. I just appreciate my privacy and I would like to take pride in the fact that I can dress myself. Now if you don't mind, I would like to do just that. So if you please, get out."

When America didn't leave immediate England raised his eyebrow and added, "That wasn't an option."

Kai's head shook with laughter as he opened the door. "Good old Arty," England heard him say as he walked out the door.

'Now that the king of all idiocy is gone I can actually accomplish something,' he thought as he dressed himself in the wedding garments the attendants had left there.

***

England was now riding out with his closest supporters to meet the to-be queen. By closest supporters that meant Sir Ector, 'Kai', and Merlin (the magical advisor of Arthur who, thankfully, was not a country and therefore, could actually be taken seriously).

Arthur couldn't help thinking that something was wrong with this picture. Alright, so something was very wrong with this picture. For one, he was about to get married. Two, since when was America one of his top three supporters? King Arthur must either be really loyal to his family or in a shortage of allies.

Far up ahead he could see the supposed Guinevere sitting atop a white horse. As they approached her they could see the hood hiding her face from the king.

"Princess Guinevere," England started off with the formal introduction that he had seen so many of his kings do before. "I am Arthur, King of Camelot and your humble servant." The Code of Chivalry required him to say this last phrase though he had no intention of ever being ordered around by his own wife. Wife, he was going to have to get used to the word. "We welcome you to our kingdom with open arms," England finished.

Guinevere's hands went hood as she prepared to take it off, "We are very grateful to be welcomed into your presence, Your Grace." England thought that he heard a tone of attempted seduction in her voice, which was actually quite familiar. Guinevere's hood went off and facing them now was...France?

King Arthur's face went pale with shock. This could not be happening. Everyone noticed the sudden change in his expression and asked him in concerned voices whether he was alright. He wasn't alright, he didn't even know if he was still thinking correctly. The only thoughts going on in his head were, 'Not France, not France. Dammit, this is a nightmare, isn't it? Crap, crap, crap,' and other thoughts of the same nature.

'Guinevere' for her (or his) part, played the role of concerned betrothed. Placing an arm on England's, France asked in a soft voice, "Are you alright?"

Promptly, Arthur passed out. There was only so much the Brit could take.

***

Arthur woke up for the second time that day, this time in a tent they had set-up for his lodgings during the travel. This time, he sat up immediately and was relieved to see that he was with his 'closest supporters' and that the bride-to-be was nowhere in sight.

He turned to Merlin with a sharp jerk of his head, "I cannot, for all the wealth in England, marry that ma-, wom-," he paused at this, unsure of how to refer to France. "Person," he finally finished.

Merlin shook his head, "You two are as good as wed for your betrothal is almost as sacred a binding as being wed. Besides I do not see the reason for your sudden...repulsion of the princess. Or did you faint at the sight of her beauty?"

England nearly vomited. There was never a more preposterous statement uttered.

"Father," he heard Kai said in the background. "I didn't know His Grace was afraid of women."

Sir Ector shushed his son who only laughed in reply. It was especially rare to see a king acting this way and Kai was not going to let this opportunity pass up.

"Why, Arthur," Kai said, forgetting to refer to his brother with the kingly title, "Have you never seen a seductive woman before?"

"Oh, shut up you," England said launching himself at America with fists at the ready, using anger to bypass the urge to be overcome with disgust at his current predicament. The two exchanged punches and violently tackled each other while Merlin and Sir Ector tried desperately to separate them. They only ceased their struggling when the guard outside the tent announced the presence of "the Lady Guinevere".

Guinevere looked at the men, who had all just stood up to acknowledge her coming, and gave a great curtsy. "Is there anything I could do for His Grace to help him become well?" England's mind brought up the image of Jane Seymour who managed to seduce a king with her demure nature. He could only hope that Guinevere wasn't trying to achieve the same thing.

"Yes, I believe the king would very much appreciate your company Lady Guinevere," Merlin answered. "Our presence seems to be giving him some stress so we would be happy to leave him to your capable hands."

'What? No! Don't leave me alone with that perverted France,' England begged in his mind but he couldn't utter a word to save....well, himself from marriage.

"Right," agreed Kai happily. "Let's leave the two alone, shall we?"

"Er, no, that won't be necessary Lady, uhh, Guinevere," England finally spoke up. "I feel quite alright. It's just that, in Camelot, it is traditional to faint when you first see your wife." Not exactly true but it would save him from being alone with, ugh, France.

Kai smothered a laugh and Merlin looked taken aback but Guinevere seemed flattered, "Well, I am honoured to have garnered such a reaction from you." The she suddenly reached out and touched his hand.

"Ahh," England exclaimed, taking back his hand as if it had been burnt. "It's also traditional not to touch your beloved until after the wedding."

"Oh, is that so?" asked Guinevere looking rather rejected.

"Yes," England insisted. "And we have very formal weddings. We don't have feasts or flowers or anything of the sort. It keeps the solemnity of the union."

England couldn't blame America for laughing outright because, to tell the truth, that had been one of the worst excuses he had uttered in his life.

"I see," replied Guinevere, still looking rather sad. "Have you no romance in Camelot? Where has the life and lustre in this kingdom gone, Your Grace?" she then asked, leaning 'seductively' forward so that her (or his) face was only inches from Arthur's. This was way, way, way too close for comfort. Arthur took a step back.

"Oh I'm sure it's somewhere. Now if you don't mind, I think I need some air," England replied. He had to get himself away from France before his brain started suffering from irreversible damage.

***

The next day the royal caravan travelled back to the palace. England had found no way to stop the inevitable and now he found himself face to face with France and an archbishop and there was a simple signing of the marriage contract.

'Please let it be a calendar,' England thought as he put his pen to the paper, but of course it wasn't a calendar. It was a marriage contract and he was now married to France.

'The next time I see those fairies,' England thought. 'I am going to give them a long lecture on interfering with my life, preferably with plenty of shouting and violence.'

He was about to ponder and whine in his head for a bit more about the fact that he was now actually married to France (he didn't even find it possible for the words married and France appear together in a phrase) but England felt a tap on shoulder and he turned around to see Merlin. With a crook of his finger Merlin beckoned him and his closest supporters (which now included Guinevere) to follow him. They were led to a hidden pavilion of the palace; one that England knew existed because, well, he is England after all. There, in the middle of it, was a marvelous golden table in the shape of a perfect circle. Seats of gold, spaced out evenly, surrounded the table. The whole scene gleamed with a brightness equally brought about the gleam of the sunlight against the gold and the sparkle of magic in the air.

'The Round Table,' Arthur thought and without preamble he took a seat on the closest chair. They watched as the back of the seat shone with extra gleam and then dimmed to reveal the occupant's name. It appeared that only England could see that the name on the back of the chair did not read Arthur Pendragon. Instead, golden letters formed the name Arthur Kirkland.

It only took a moment for England to understand what he had to do now.



AN: Okay, I'm not turning this story into a FrUK fic but I got a suggestion from a reader in LJ that France could be Guinevere. To be honest I had no idea who should play Guinevere in the legend and I was planning to make her a non-country and Lancelot could be France but in the end I thought, why not? France as Guinevere seemed completely possible and it made the story have some direction to go on. So I went with it and now I have a definite idea of what will happen next. Anyway that was just an explanation. Thanks for reading .