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A Cowboy Bebop Story
Session Four
Ed's Demon
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Somewhere on Mars, in a prison cell, Ed and Ein were being annoying. To the guard.
Ed put her face up against the bars. "Hey, Mr. Man."
He looked up from his newspaper. "What?"
"Whatcha doin?"
"Sitting here."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a guard."
"Why?"
"Because it's my job."
"Why?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"
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Jet and Spike were walking down the street when a sign above the door of one of the buildings caught their eye.
It read: The Bob Saloon.
Spike turned to Jet. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Jet nodded.
"LET'S GET DRUNK!!!" they shouted.
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"Hey, Mr. Prison Guard man?"
"What?"
"Would you mind letting us out? We're very very bored. And we want to go HOME."
"Look, kid. I'm not in the mood to hear your sob stories."
"Why not?"
"I've had plenty problems in my own life."
"Like what?"
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In the bar…
"Hey, bruvver!"
"Huh, Spike?"
"Howdya git a woman? I mean, I've bin tryin' foyearzzzzz…" Spike hit his head on the table.
Jet backed up a few feet. "Hey, you haven't had enough to be drunk yet."
Spike's head shot up. "Oh."
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The prison guard was sobbing and had already gone through three boxes of tissues.
"And then my snail- he- he…" The guard burst into more tears.
"It's okay," said Ed, patting him on the back through the bars. Then she reached for the keys.
2 minutes and 4.773048109363848479934832 seconds later…
The guard was laying on his stomach, hogtied and gagged, while Ed sat on his back braiding his hair.
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Spike and Jet were both drunk. Really really drunk.
"AN' I SHAW AREALLY SHEXY TREE THE OTHER DAY!!!" yelled Jet, causing everyone who wasn't drunk to stare at him very strangely.
"Ya know," said Spike, "I need some LOOOOOOOOVE!!! YEAH!!!"
A really big beefy security guard type person walked up to them. "Out. Now."
Since they were too drunk to see straight, they did as he said.
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Faye was back on the Bebop. It was 8:00, and the others weren't back yet.
But that didn't bother her. She turned on the holographic thing that wishes it was a TV ant watched some REALLY REALLY OLD episodes of I Love Lucy.
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All the prisoners and guards were unconscious. On the floor. With their hair up in braids.
Ed, grinning and bouncing up and down, finally came to the last cell.
She saw… Vicious.
And his hair.
Beautiful girl hair.
Her eyes slowly grew huge and twinkly.
Vicious dove under the bed.
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Spike and jet staggered down the street, arms around each others shoulders, singing.
"Koombaya, my lord, koombaya…"
Mothers drug their children inside.
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Ed was sitting on Vicious's back, braiding his hair into lots of little braids.
With pink bows.
"Hey Uncle Vicious, wanna play Candy Land?"
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The next morning…
A terribly hung over Spike was lying on the couch moaning. A terribly hung over Jet was lying on the floor moaning. Faye was playing solitaire. Ein was saying Sim City 3,577,908,777 ½ on Ed's computer.
Vicious was lying on the floor with a "someone please kill me" expression on his face. Ed was sitting on his back, braiding his hair, grinning like the idiot that she is.
Ein sighed. "Just another normal day on the Bebop."
END PART FOUR
Hi. My name is Jet, and I'm an alcoholic. Wait a minute… WHO CHANGED THE CUE CARDS?! I wasn't supposed to say that!!! You're all so mean to me!!!
Um… anyway… Next time, Spike's curse- yeah, he's got one of those- causes trouble. He's gonna like, die, or something. So goes the will of the author. I think I'll hug a tree.
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