Chapter Three – And There is No End
Moving away was not, apparently, the same as moving on.
"Wow," Peyton exhaled softly, looking around the crowded club. My reaction was pretty much the same; who would've expected a place like this in Tree Hill? In little, small town America Tree Hill? Not me, at least, and apparently not Peyton.
"No kidding, right?" Luke grinned at our reactions. "I came once, over last winter break. Skillz was in town, too, and he thought we needed to get out." Peyton and I nodded, remembering hearing about that. "Did I tell you I called and invited him while you were getting ready?"
Peyton grinned at that revelation, but I couldn't help letting out a little squeal. Maybe in my haste to forget all things Tree Hill, I blocked out some of the things that shouldn't be forgotten, like childhood friends. People who were always good to me. Skillz was one of those people.
"He's bringing Mouth, too," Luke announced, grinning even wider when I did a goofy little dance to express my joy at that.
"That's so fantastic!" I enthused, laughing and clapping my hands together. "Oh, Mouth and I email once in awhile, but I haven't even heard from Skillz since the time he stayed with you in Austin, Luke!"
Linking arms with me, Peyton nodded. "This is great. This whole thing is great. It's not quite as….well, busy, I guess, as the clubs and bars near campus, but I don't know, I like this. I like this place."
I leaned my head on her shoulder, shaking my head. "You're not allowed to like this place more than you like home, Peyt."
"Home, huh?" Luke parroted, further furrowing his always scrunched up brow. "It's really home to you out there?"
Shifting awkwardly, I shrugged. "Well, yeah. Luke, you know I can't think of Tree Hill as home now. It just…isn't. And if it isn't home, then home is where I'm at, and where I'm at these days is LA."
He nodded, a far away look in his eye. "You, too, Peyt?"
She shot an uncomfortable glance my way, and I shrugged my apology before making my way to the bar. That was definitely a conversation that I wanted no part of. They could work out who lived where and who was happy about it on their own, and I'd gladly give them the space to do just that. As I pushed my way through the crowds, I couldn't believe how many people are here. It was hard to imagine that there are even this many young people in Tree Hill.
I recognized a few of them; no one I really knew, just minor acquaintances. None of them seem to recognize me, though, which was fine. Exchanges of awkward pleasantries with people I knew by face only had never been something I was good at, and there was no need to put that to the test now. But by luck or coincidence or fate, I did spot the two familiar faces that Luke had mentioned earlier. Glad that their backs were to me, I snuck up behind them, throwing an arm over each of their shoulders.
"Hey, boys!"
"No way," Skillz chuckled, turning around and hopping off his stool. "Little Haley? Little tag-along Haley with the skinned knees and ugly sweaters and hats that followed my boy Lucas everywhere for years?"
Sticking my tongue out at him cheerfully, I laughed when he pulled me into a one-armed hug. "Um, the one and only?" Looking at the person standing next to him, I grin. "Hi Mouth!"
"Haley!" he greeted, returning the hug I threw at him. "How are you? How's USC? Luke said you graduated last week, but are staying out there for med school. That's really unusual, to go on to med school at your undergrad. What made you decide to do that?"
His questions were a little overwhelming, but Skillz made a face over his shoulder, breaking my tension. "Oh, well, I just love it there so much, and that's just – gosh, it probably sounds stupid, but it's where my life is. It's nice to be able to continue my schooling there."
They boys exchanged dubious looks, and Skillz eventually shook his head. "Girl, it's a good thing your hair isn't all white-blonde – I'd have thought you'd done gone and turned into a ditzy surfer chick. But the gold look is a'ight on you."
"Sorry, no surfing here," I shrugged with a small smile. "That's a little too close to the danger zone for me, thanks."
"No pain, no gain," Mouth smiled widely. "And anyway, Luke says you're a cheerleader. Isn't that almost the same out there?"
"Was a cheerleader," I corrected him. "Why is Luke talking about me so much? You'd think he didn't have a life of his own or something."
Skillz shooks his head. "You know half his conversations were always about you and that skinny girl of his. He missed you both a lot. I hear he's thinking of heading out your way, too."
My smile widened a bit at that; I couldn't help it. I'd definitely been thinking that's where this would go, but to hear that he was mentioning it to other people was great. That confirmation was nice. "I hope he does. Peyt misses him a lot, and so do I."
Mouth shook his head, almost looking a touch sad. "You know, you all could just move back to Tree Hill. That would be fun, right?"
"Fun like going to the dentist fun?" Skillz asked dryly.
"Nope, fun like going to the lady's doctor for a pelvic exam," I teased, laughing at the expressions that creep across their faces. "Okay, come on, you two. You're both old enough not to be grossed out by that. And Skillz, it helps your relationship if you don't cringe when we say things like that, okay?"
Peyton and Luke were approaching, cutting off any angry retorts my two old friends might have made. Luckily, they looked more amused than anything, and Mouth even put his arm around me in another hug. I watched in amusement as the boys greeted my best friend, teasing her about stealing Luke away from them. She took it well, and it was times like this when it is easy to forget her less happy days. Probably for her, too.
"None of y'all are coming back here, huh?" Skillz commented incredulously. "Not one of y'all are wanting to move back to the hometown?"
Luke shrugged, and I didn't miss the tense glance he shoots Peyton's way. I'd definitely have to follow up on that later. "I wouldn't mind it terribly, but my happiness isn't riding on it," Luke blithely offered.
Peyton and I shared a small, knowing look before she added her two cents into the moving back thing. "A short visit is one thing, but full on living here? Never going to happen again," Peyton stated softly, but there was a steel resolve behind the words that didn't let any of us doubt her sincerity.
"I've got medical school," I reminded them with a grin. It was not like my reasons for not wanting to be in Tree Hill were a secret, but at the same time they weren't really up for discussion, either. Some things were better left to be dealt with on your own. Or at least not in a public place.
"Cop out excuse," Mouth teased. "I've got med school, too. You know we have colleges here, right?"
I shrugged, "If you want to call them that."
"Burn," Skillz laughed, throwing his arm over my shoulder. "Come on, Haley James, come dance with me and show off those cheer skills of yours!"
Rolling my eyes at the others, I let him drag me off to the dance floor, even as I protested his assumption that I had dancing skills. "Honestly, I'm still not a great dancer! I'll probably embarrass you out there, since we all know how great you are!" Not to mention how seriously he took it.
He just grinned, dropping his arm from my shoulder to take my hand in his. "Ah, you'll be fine. After all, who gave you lessons? Um, yeah, that would be me, and in your words, I'm great! So it's all good. Just shake that fine ass around," he teased, deftly ducking when I moved to swat him on the head.
"You're such a pain," I laughed, swiveling in a circle as he danced around me. "But it's really good to see you again, Skillz."
"What was that?" he called, cupping an ear to his head as the music starts thumping louder. "You're going to have to gush over me louder; I can't quite hear as well as I should!"
"Oh, let me just get the microphone so I can actually sing your praises!" I half-yelled back at him.
He laughed, the arm holding mine swinging up as he spun me, and I couldn't help but laugh with him. For all that I did not want to come back here, did not want to see anyone, or associate with my old life, I couldn't help but think this was good. It was good seeing Mouth and Skillz again. Not to mention Lucas and Karen. Maybe in a way, it was right to come back here. Not only for myself, but for my friends, these people who had cared for me and loved me and been there for me when I needed it. It was not farfetched to think that I owed all of them something, even if that was just a trip home and a chance to prove that I hadn't forgotten them or what they mean to me.
When the tempo slows, we make our way off the dance floor, pushing our way through the crowds until we find the tiny table the rest of our group has snagged. There were no available seats, but Peyton pulled me down on her lap, and we all laughed when Mouth patted his and winked up at Skillz.
"You guys are too much," Peyton giggled, leaning her head on my arm. "I'm glad we've got the chance to hang out while we're here."
"Me too," I agreed, clearly shocking Peyton and Luke if the gob smacked looks on their faces were anything to go by. "This hasn't been nearly as bad as I anticipated, and hanging out with all of you almost makes it worth it."
"Almost?" Mouth bristled in mock anger. "How dare you?"
I giggled at that, rolling my eyes. "Okay," I exclaimed dramatically. "It makes it totally, completely, undeniably worth it. Better?"
Mouth and Skillz grinned at me in return. "Yeah, works for me," Mouth nodded, pretending to preen a little. Skillz rolled his eyes, slapping him lightly upside the head. "Ow, what was that for?"
"For being a moron," Skillz sighed, stepping to a nearby table and grabbing a chair. "So, what's the good word? We gonna party tonight, or are we gonna sit here like wallflowers sipping on soda water and Diet Coke?"
"I don't speak for anyone else, but I'm definitely going to party. If I have to pack up my childhood tomorrow, then I'm going to enjoy tonight with tequila and limes," Peyton grinned, jiggling her legs so I bounce on her lap.
"Stop, you'll make me sick," I whined, slapping her on the leg where I could reach.
"No, keep doing it," Skillz grinned, his gaze dropping and resting below my chin before raising back up to my face, "It's good fun." He winked at me. "I'm only kidding; sort of."
I gaped at him as Peyton and Mouth crack up and Luke's face reddened in embarrassment. I swear, he dated Brooke Davis; there was no way his complexion should ruddy like that just because someone pointed out that I have breasts. "Skillz!" I finally choked out dumbly. "I can't believe – "
His laughter interrupted me, and before long, even Luke had joined in. Begrudgingly, of course. Luke shook his head, still snickering a little. "Too much, man. That's Haley you're ogling."
"And what is wrong with ogling Haley?" I sputtered out indignantly. "Are you implying there is something wrong with someone having the desire to ogle me?"
"Yeah, Luke," Peyton growled at him, smirking when he turned to her with his eyebrow cocked. "What are you trying to say about Haley?"
He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "You know I'm not saying anything bad. It's just that it's Hales, my best bud, my friend, practically my sister. I know you're gorgeous, Hales, but at the same time, I don't really want to think about it, okay? Like it's there, we're all aware of it, now let's just go back to pretending that you are still one of the guys."
Skillz snorted, "That ain't possible, homes. We ain't blind. Well, Mouth is. But I am most definitely not blind, and my eyes are telling me that Haley is hot, and she's got a great rack."
"Hey!" I exclaimed, reaching out to poke him in the ribs just as Mouth reached out and shoved him off his chair.
"Just because I'm blind to women doesn't mean I'm completely blind," Mouth assured Skillz, who just rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"Don't you look at her like that," Luke protested mildly at Skillz, which was a lot better than what happened when one of his friends hit on me last time Peyt and I visited him in Austin. That was just embarrassing.
Peyton snickered, and I can totally envision her winking at Luke right now. "What about me?" she asked Luke before jokingly sliding her hand along the bottom of my rib cage, "Can I wax poetic on my lovely best friend's bountiful assets?"
Knowing she was just trying to rile Luke up, I laughed with the rest of them while Luke shot her a disbelieving look as his eyebrows rose up into that brillo pad he called hair. "Peyton!" he whined. "Why do you have to do that?"
"Because it is oh so amusing, and the look on your face is oh so worth it," she smirked, pushing on me until I stood up. When I did, she moved over to him, throwing her arms around him and kissing him deeply. Maybe I should be having second thoughts about the possibility of him being in LA with us. I did not need to see that all the time.
"God, break it up already," Skillz scowled at them after a few minutes. "Be kind to those of us that are pathetically single right now. It's enough to know all I've got to look forward to is giving myself a hand…having to watch this is cruel and unusual punishment."
"Even I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with that," Mouth chuckled. "Since I'm pretty sure it doesn't have the same effect on me, it's just exceptionally irritating. And a little sloppy."
Luke blushed at the teasing, but Peyton just laughed, smacking Mouth lightly on the arm. If there'd been any doubt of where Peyton was these days, conversations like this should eradicate it. When we were younger, teasing conversations like this would have been taken with guarded amusement by her, but now she was a full-on participant. Hell, she was usually the instigator.
And maybe it was selfish and definitely more than a little vain, but sometimes I thought that I've played a part in that. That I've helped her to come out of her shell, that hard, temperamental shell she used to protect herself from further loss and grief. Considering all that she had done for me and all the ways that she had helped me get passed my grief and pain, maybe it was more that I hope I've done that for her. Reciprocation, and all that. In any case, I think it was safe to assume that we had been good for each other.
"You are all asses," Luke grumbled, glaring at Mouth, Skillz, and I over the top of Peyton's head as we laugh at their display and the resulting discomfort and teasing. "Seriously, all of you are giant asses, which is a shame because if you can't count on your childhood pals, best friends, not to be asses, then who can you?"
"Not your half brothers either," Skillz sighed ruefully, chancing a glance at me that definitely did not go unnoticed, even as I tried to remain unaffected by the topic switch. "I ran into him again yesterday. He's still asking about you, Luke."
Irritatingly enough, all four of them watched me carefully, even though Peyton's face mirrored the surprise that must be etched across my own. It was certainly not like Luke had ever mentioned this to me, and it was pretty clear he hadn't hinted at it to her, either. Nervously, he cleared his throat before wrenching his gaze over to Skillz. "He can ask all he wants; it's not like asking changes anything."
Unfortunately for both of them, when things went south for Nathan and me, they also crashed and burned for him and Luke. In some ways, I was the glue that held them together, and when I left for that tour, there was nothing left holding them together. How things ended between Nathan and I when I returned, and Luke's subsequent pledge of full support to me, didn't help to fix anything either.
Luke always insisted that it wasn't my fault, that things between them would've probably become fractured in some way even if I hadn't left, but it never felt like that to me. Maybe if I'd stayed, things still would've gone to hell between me and Nathan, but they didn't have to be like this between the two brothers. And I hate that I had the same role in tearing them apart that I had in bringing them together.
"What does he want?" Peyton asked cautiously, her concerned eyes lingering on me. "Why is this the first we've heard of it?"
"It's nothing," Luke sighed, glaring at Skillz who shifted uncomfortably. "Don't even worry about it. Believe me, nothing about Nathan these days is worth worrying about. Sounds like he's doing just fine."
"Yeah, after busting his ass to get that way," Skillz muttered under his breath. "Not that anyone wants to hear that."
Raising an eyebrow, I was the one to follow that statement up with a question. "What does that mean, Luke?"
"Nothing," he snapped this time, obviously not wanting to be questioned about this. Peyton and I exchanged glances though, and my curiosity was matched only by hers, so I knew this line of conversation wasn't just going to go away because Luke got a little surly.
"Lucas Eugene Scott," Peyton sighed impatiently, poking him on the shoulder, "Explain. Now, please, or I'll make you so sorry."
"There's nothing to explain," he sighed, still giving the stink-eye to Skillz. "Thanks, bro, for that, by the way."
Skillz just shrugged, not looking the least bit remorseful. "Isn't this how all of y'all's problems always started in the past? Secrets, truths not told just because it's easier that way?" That's directed to me, Luke, and Peyton, and the three of us avoid each other's gazes uncomfortably.
Closing my eyes briefly, I shook my head. "What's going on? This – is it supposed to make some difference if Nathan is trying to get in contact with you? That's – that's not a bad thing."
"It's not that," Luke sighed, glaring at Skillz. "There really isn't a lot to tell, Hales. I haven't talked to him. Saw him once, at the river court. But I left before he could say anything."
"That's…odd," Peyton commented lightly, glancing back and forth between Luke and me, ready to play peacekeeper, apparently. "Didn't realize that you two had any contact."
"We don't," Luke insisted. "We really don't. I don't know why he's been asking my friends about me, and at this point in my life, I don't even care."
Skillz just shrugged at Luke. "Well, that's your thing, I guess. And I know there's a whole lot of history between the two of you, but I don't know. He seems real remorseful, okay? He said he'd learned from his mistakes and was ready to fix all of them. He's had more junk to deal with than any of us could imagine, and he's come out with flying colors, if you ask me. Not that you ever do."
He said that last part while glancing at me, something which no one else caught. If he was trying to imply something, well, I was more than willing to ignore any implications he was attempting to throw my way, thank you very much. When he realized that I'm steadfastly ignoring him, he sighed, turning back to Luke.
"Look, man, even Mouth said he thinks you're being an idiot about this."
"Hey!" Mouth sputtered, spitting out a mouthful of his beer across the table. "Don't you dare bring me into this."
"What the hell is going on?" Peyton wondered, her voice tinged with the same irritation and exasperation I was feeling. "All three of you are being really weird about this. Someone better spill."
Skillz and Luke continued glaring at each other, and finally Mouth groaned, looking between me and Peyton. "There really isn't anything going on. It's just that Nathan has been bugging me and Skillz for a few weeks now about Luke, and Luke doesn't want to hear it or anything else Nathan has to say. Those two are acting like knuckleheads about it, and this is what you get."
I shared a look with Peyton – neither of us was buying it, but the whole conversation was making me uncomfortable enough that I was more than willing to drop. it I just…didn't want to talk about Nathan, in any capacity. That wasn't fair to Luke or even the other guys, but right now, I didn't care. Deciding that we'd all had enough of this conversation, at least here in this crowded club, I pasted a smile on my face and stood up.
"Come on, Skillz, let's dance some more," I grinned, holding my hand out for him. He blinked in surprise before returning my smile and taking my hand, letting me lead him out to the floor.
He watched me warily as we started to dance, and I was sure he wanted to know why I was so willing to let the topic of Nathan drop. But it was loud and crowded out there, definitely not conducive to conversation, and the subject dropped for the time being. I happily took the reprieve, though, and it was easy to laugh when he took my hand and spun me around several times in quick succession. By the time the two songs we danced to ended, I was laughing and it was even easier to pretend that I was completely unaffected by the earlier conversation.
We walked back to the table together, me clutching at his arm and laughing like a maniac as he told me about getting picked up by the police when he participated in a naked run across campus his senior year. I told him about my one single, solitary night of drunken debauchery involving running from the cops (after a midnight tryst on the fifty yard line of the Coliseum with one of the med students who worked as a trainer), grinning as he laughed when I told him about the stadium lights coming on.
"It's not that funny," I pouted, bumping him with my shoulder. "And God, I can't believe I told you that! Ask Peyton, I never tell anyone that story."
"Can't imagine why not," he deadpanned as we approached the table. It took a few seconds for it to seep into my consciousness just how awkward and uncomfortable everyone there looked. And it took another few seconds for me to figure out why.
And it only took one more second before I burst into ironic, slightly hysterical laughter at the sight of my ex-husband.
