First of all..hey. sorry for the late update….and 2nd, to make it up to ya all, I made this fic longer…so enjoy!
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10th march, 8:30pm
Ehem….. Well, first of all, I have a confession to make. I didn't want to put it at first because it was really embarrassing for me but since this is a diary, I might as well not hold back. So from now on, I promise to write every single detail that happened in my life. (the important ones I mean)
So this is what I actually said in my last diary entry. Instead of just plain "WHAT!" then people laughing at me.
I actually said a whole sentence aloud. Which was,
"WHAT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE A CRUSH ON ATHRUN ZALA!"
Then people laughing at me.
That's right. Me and my big mouth. I could have stopped at "WHAT?" (like what I wrote in my previous entry ) Or at "WHAT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" But noo…..i had to go on and tactlessly finish the damn sentence. There. I said it. Great. Now I'll have to be reminded of my sheer stupidity every time I read this diary. And From what I, my classmates, and later, everyone in the entire school might see it………I, Cagali Yula Athha, just confirmed, slash, confessed my feelings for Athrun Zala. Plus, turning the "rumors" of me liking athrun, into a fact.
Just great right?
Well, that's all. And I really hope your happy now. Because I myself wont even know if I would live to write another day. (considering times two of more Brianna issues) Or how I could ever face athrun zala or anyone else for that matter, EVER AGAIN! But for now, I'll just get on with the writing. --
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After class
As I stood up from my seat, lacus gently tapped my shoulder.
"you okay?"
I looked at her with helpless eyes
"yeah" I lied.
"im so sorry for asking you that all of a sudden. I guess curiosity just got the best of me and I kind of spat it out not thinking of the outcome. I'm really really sorry and I hope that you will forgive me. I really truly want us to be the best of friends and I know that this would sound a bit awkward since this is the first time we ever met, but you could tell me anything and I promise to keep it at all costs"
She said, placing her hand to her chest, determined.
I started at her. She's not that bad. I guess that I just made a friend in the 4th day of school. Not bad cagali. Maybe even a good start. (of our friendship I mean. Not the 1st day of school cuz u already know how that went..)
"sure. And thanks lacus" I said.
She smiled. Then so did i. just when we were about to keep the wonderful moment like that, I could see a pair of emerald colored eyes and dark blue silky hair coming this way. Great. Another moment, ruined.
"uh. Sorry lacus. I guess I got to go. See you….at lunch?"
"really? Sure!"
With that, I walked away. I could feel him following me.
"hey" the voice called from behind. But I pretended not to hear and continued walking.
"wait up!"
still walking….faster….then brisk walking….okay. im running before its too late. So I held tight the slings of my bag ready for a run. But, yeah. You guessed it. –I spoke too soon when he said my name out loud.
"cagali!" great. It was too late. So I stopped and now I have to face him. My face had an unsure "OMG" expression written all over. But instead of showing what I truly felt right now, I just stood up straight and turned to face him with the most fake innocent expression I ever showed. With the big eyes and all…
"yes?" I said in my very fake tone.
He stopped to lean on his knees, panting.
"ca-gali…finally" then he stood straight and looked deep into my eyes. So, I looked into his…then,
"men. You walk fast" walk fast? Was that it? I thought there was actually something there with the eyes and all……ah forget it.
I just looked down.
Just don't say anything that will tense me up
"listen" ugh! He said it….fine. Just don't say anything about Brianna. "about what happened with Brianna…." He said it. Is the world mad at me today? Is it anti-cagalis day or something because I just blew it. My first chance of thinking we actually had something there. Ruined. Bec of my ungirly side and mostly bec of that girls attitude! I couldn't even begin to name the million possibilities coming to me right now. So I shut my eyes close. (a way of getting me to concentrate and avoid the harsh realities in front of me) just say it. And say it fast so I wouldn't even hear it.
There was silence…
Then tension….
Here it comes…
"um..sorry" he said apologetically as I opened my eyes in surprise. ( well, not really. Bec him apologizing was part of my "possibilities" but sort of in the highly unlikely category) but him making it possible right now just made my heart leap. Why? I dont even know myself.
God. The guy is just saying sorry and my heart goes all lub dub-ing endlessly. But I decided to just go with the flow.
"huh? Bout what?" so much for going with the flow
"Brianna. You know…1st day of school….?" He said, giving a "what's with you? Did you even listen to a single thing I say" look.
I looked at him for a moment. Dazed by his newly found expression I never saw…till now.
-sighs-
"uh. Oh yeah! That." I quickly snapped out of it. What is wrong with me? "um. No problem…I mean. Well, not completely but its no big deal….i mean. Maybe it is but….don't apologize…." I stammered and talked too much again! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
He looked at me. And what's that I see? A little…amused?
"oh okay then" he paused "so…about what happened in class…." His voice trailed off. He looked at my expression then suddenly the uncertainty was gone.
"oh never mind. See you in class" he said. Winking, then smirking, then turned away.
I have absolutely no idea what I'm feeling right now. But for some reason, I managed to sigh dreamily.
nO! I'm losing it again! Snap out of it cagali!
Next class huh? But its still lunch….i wonder if his talking bout the next subject, biology…..wait. so I have to see him again? This is really bad for me. Thinking about him, talking to him and even looking at him is minutes away to a heart attack! I have to avoid it. It has to stop. I have to try. And with that, I marched my way to the cafeteria.
Cafeteria
"macaroni and cheese for lunch huh? Guess this school is not that bad…" I stood in the cafeteria, my eyes searching. Then, it caught sight of a not so familiar face….Briannas.
What? Ew. Why her face of all people?
Judging from the people occupying that spot, im guessing that must be the popular table. Then I looked beside her. An empty seat. Oh…….ugh, wait! What oh? Its not like I was expecting someone there……or was i?
"ugh! NO! NO! NO!" I told myself
Then I heard my name being called.
"cagali! Over here!"
I looked at the owner of the voice. Lacus. I smiled and joined her……wait. I meant, them. There were 2 other girls sitting beside her. They looked entirely the same. Both had lilac colored hairs and the same eyes. Except, One had her hair short while the other had her long hair in pigtails. Both stared intently at me. Twins.
"cagali. This is Luna and Meer. L, M, cagali" lacus gestured to us vice-versa.
After smiling at each other awkwardly, they started talking to me like we knew each other since 1st grade.
"so. I heard athrun talked to you today. What did he say?" meer asked excitedly.
"yeah. Give us the dirt. And don't leave a thing" luna added.
"huh? What dirt?"
Lacus eyed the two to stop it. Then looked at me apologetically. "Sorry. Curiosity gets the best of them too.."
"Oh. Okay" …gossipgoblins
1:30 pm, biology class
I was about to enter class when someone deliberately pushed me to the side causing me to bump the wall to make way of something……or rather, someone. I looked at the girl who looked back at me with cocky eyes. Just looking at it made my blood boil.
"ehem. Making way for Brianna" the girl beside her said.
"yeah. And by the way, were ever so not sorry" another girl added. Then they chuckled altogether.
Brianna stopped and so did they. She took off her Gucci shades and faced me with a cocky look on her face.
"and FYI, athruns mine." She emphasized the word with obvious clarity. "and there is absolutely nothing a pathetic crush coming from a pathetic loser like you, can change that" she said the last words with confidence. put her shades on and walked into the room triumphantly.
"bitches" I cursed silently, standing straight.
I entered the room and scanned around. I caught sight of emerald and blue but immediately looked away to cover a blush. Then I walked to an empty seat but before I even reached there, I felt a long straight solid thing blocking my way causing me to fall straight to the floor!
The next thing I knew was that laughter filled the room. Eyes looking down at me….blue ones, cold ones, and even worried looking emerald ones…( or maybe the last one was just imagination). So I immediately stood and straightened up myself. I could hear a bunch of sinister evil laughter just behind me. So I quickly turned around. Anger and humiliation filled my face. My angry eyes shot on a pair of icy ones. But something about them made me even angrier. They were unrepentant! I'll teach her not to mess with me!
I roughly grabbed her collar right up like a real dude. Causing her to forcefully stand up from her seat. Then cursed out loud.
"WHY YOU!"
I could hear some gasps and other shocked voices. But some where actually cheering for me. Chanting words like "fight! Fight! Fight!"and so on. And that, was all I needed to hear.
I could clearly see her also shocked, terrified, and a bit repentant expression ad I so wanted to crush it into the little tiny dirt that she is.
Until this superior voice came out from somewhere and told everyone to stop.
"MS ATHHA! 1ST WARNING! I DO NOT TOLERATE VIOLENCE IN MY CLASS! ESPECIALLY FOR YOUNG LADIES LIKE YOURSELF!"
With that, everyone returned back to their seats and followed. Me? I didn't budge. I didn't even give eye-contact with her. Afraid, that once I do, I would go back to my calm senses and regret it later. So I kept my position.
"let go of her" she demanded.
I had no choice but to obey. I let her go, roughly that is. Causing her to fall flat on the floor.
"uh!" she squeaked.
"MS ATHHA." She gasped unbelievably "apologize to her" hearing that, I quickly turned to her.
"what? Why? She started it!"
"apologize" she hissed. I could feel everyone's eyes on me
"sorry" I said with gritted teeth. She glared at me. Her eyes even icier as she stood and dusted her skirt and fixing her top.
"you better be sorry. You freakish tomboy!" she exclaimed.
Everyone started to laugh again. At me. I stood there frozen. My bangs concealed my eyes. I gritted my teeth and balled my fists.
Stop it
Laughter
Stop it
Laughter
Why don't they stop? Why doesn't the teacher stop them? Why?
But before I could completely lose it and god knows what I could have done, a guy's superior voice broke the laughter and everyone stopped.
I opened my eyes to see athrun stand up, looking at us disgustedly.
"stop it. All of you!" he said aloud. But still keeping his cool.
He fixed his gaze on Brianna. His expression? Unreadable. Flat. Emotionless.
"Brianna. Apologize"
"what? Why should i?" she said rebelliously but slowly. It was athrun she was talking to. She was careful.
"Brianna. Don't make me say it again"
She hesitated and tried a different approach.
"but baby…I cant…" she said. Trying to be flirtatious but bad for her, it didn't work.
"apologize" he said In a very superior and firm tone ive never heard, even the etacher didn't try to interrupt. Ive never seen him so serious, so, in control.
She bit her lip and hesitated again. She looked at me icily again but this time, it looked like the ice, would melt any time.
"so-rry" she finally said. But too low to hear.
Well, I thought it was enough but to my surprise, it wasn't.
"mean it" athrun said flatly
She looked like she was about to cry. Everyone was shocked. And this time, she didn't even hesitate.
"sorry"
Athrun sat back on his seat facing front like nothing happened. Everybody else followed. I processed what just happened. My lips curved a bit. I couldn't help it. Athrun. Was he…defending me?
Class was over and everyone started walking out. I was about to go as well when I saw athrun standing. I hesitated for a bit but as he went passed me, I whispered a silent thankyou not expecting hi to hear. But my eyes started widening and my cheeks started forming a blush and my heart started racing when he also whispered back a silent no problem.
I stopped. My lips curved to a grin. And from then on, I couldn't stop loving him more.