Please read the note at the bottom when you have read this chapter. Thank you and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters whether or not they are acting characteristically ;)

CHAPTER 4

SEEING RED

Jane flipped out when we tied her up. By we I mean Korsak and myself.

She screamed bloody murder and the look of betrayal in her eyes was the last one I saw. The last look she ever gave me. It was hurt. It was betrayal. I hurt her. I saw it and I wondered if she could ever forgive me.

That might be half of what I regret. That the last exchange of looks between us ever was that one. The last visual memory of her locked in my mind would be that I had hurt her.

The other half was not telling her the plan at all. I figured if Jet somehow found out he could use it against me, against us. Instead not telling her may have been my downfall. I think it broke her completely.

Tying Jane up took her out of the equation. At the very least he couldn't use her.

Earplugs. So he couldn't trigger her. I had only seen one of Jane's alters once before and I never wanted too again.

My biggest fear was that he would trigger her and then we would be unable to undo it. I didn't know if it was even possible. If he could leave her in a trance forever. I didn't know enough to know what could happen.

It would be unacceptable to loose her and I couldn't keep her tied up and hidden away forever. I had to face this head on.

Weapons. Had them.

Backup. Had it.

Plan. Had several.

Still, I didn't feel ready.

"What did they want me to do?"

I can still hear her asking me from last time. Her million questions I couldn't answer. I can still hear the croaky quiver in her voice when she asked. "But...why 'me'?" I didn't have the answers. Only my assumptions, they weren't enough.

"What happens if they do it again?"

I closed my eyes. I can do this. I have to.

Jet arrived as if on cue and immediately saw Jane restrained. He looked at me and he knew I was never going to just let him walk away with everything I had on the chance he might leave me with her.

He knew that I would fight for her. He was angry, his micro expressions gave him away.

I moved to stand in the pathway between him and Jane. I really didn't know who he wanted to hurt but it didn't matter. Right now Jane was unable to protect herself.

I asked him why.

His eyes became slits and his top lip scowled at me.

I had theories but needed clarity. Closure maybe. I am not sure for who.

He looked past me at Jane. I could see her in my peripheral struggling against her restraints. Then Jet laughed. A laugh like he had won anyway. A victorious cackle that echoed through my being. My heart skipped a beat and I was suddenly unsure of everything.

How could he have won already. What had he won.

I swallowed heavily. It felt like I just lost my queen in a chess game.

His face glowed in victory as he finally stopped laughing leaving a very smug look on his face.

Tachypnea, tachycardia, hyperhidrosis...I am sure he could read the fear indicators rising in my body regardless of how hard I was trying to disguise them. I am sure the knowledge of it boosted his ego.

What was I doing playing this game. Did I know what I was doing at all.

He could read the fear in my face, bluff or not he knew I was worried.

Should I be. I suddenly wasn't sure of anything.

I wanted to go back and do it again, do it all differently. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

Then he spoke.

"She told me a lot about you, you know. Her sweet sweet Maura. She cried out for you at times too. She won't remember. She won't remember any of it. I never realized how much of an effect you had on her until she broke free last time. That won't happen again."

He looks past me at Jane and smiled. He looked at her like she is a valuable item he is proud to own. To possess. I hated him for his coveting of her.

"You could have demanded a larger ransom. You wouldn't have had to traumatize her and control her to get more money, to get anything from me. What do you want?"

"When she didn't complete her mission last time I almost lost my job. I was told to fix it. And I have fixed it. It is my greatest creation."

I knew from the way he was watching her that would never have given her up. For anything. It had been a ploy. But why.

"You never planned to set her free even if I paid you."

My own voice is shaky and full of fear. I hope he cannot hear it.

"Very astute aren't you Maura. You are quite right. Money is not my agenda. I did think bankrupting you would be a nice touch though. Watching you suffer for your past interferences would have been the icing on the cake."

"Suffer?"

"Still, you have to pay for what you did and you will." He half grins like the thought of it alone is pleasant. "You humiliated me. You had more control than I did then."

"She is a person. She is strong willed. I didn't do anything."

"Admittedly the time I was able to work with her at the time wasn't enough. They knew that. Children are always better subjects, such fragile minds. So easy to fragment, to confuse, to manipulate. But she had a history of disassociation, it is in her DNA. It is genetic. She had already created alters to survive before we even found her. She had PTSD. She was the perfect candidate."

"What did you do to her?"

He clicks his tongue like a scolding "It doesn't matter anymore. She is mine. She will do what I want."

Then he smirks at me.

I have to hold myself back from lunging at him. I would love nothing more than to rip that smug look off his ugly face.

"What is your agenda?"

He doesn't hesitate in his answer "My goal was to prove I could do it. That I could completely control her. That I could make her hurt you."

"Why?"

His eyes burn into mine as he contemplates his response.

And he answers with a shrug. "Why not."

"I cannot suffer anymore than I have already and I'm sure neither can Jane with what you have already done to her."

He eyes me up like inedible scraps.

"Don't be so sure about that sweet Maura."

I shudder at his words. At his tone. He makes me sick.

"When Jane finds out what she has done then we will see if you are right. Lets see if she can't suffer any more."

"What is she going to do?"

"Jane is going to kill you."

REDRUM

Had I thought it possible I might not have laughed.

I had planned for this. I had made that impossible.

Jane was restrained. Korsak and Frankie were ready. Frankie was standing off to the side ready to launch into action.

I was sure we had thought of everything.

How was he planning to get Jane to kill me. It was a ludicrous thought.

Jet started to walk towards me, or towards Jane behind me. It had begun.

I saw Frankie going in for the tackle. Jet fought back and screamed at Jane. It sounded like jumbled english. Maybe code words. I turned towards her to gauge if there was any effect and realized she was almost free of her restraints. I had to decide which way to run. Jane or Jet.

Left or right.

I panicked.

I froze.

I didn't move.

I could see the fight between Frankie and Jet was getting out of control.

We wanted Jet alive. I wanted him interrogated so I would know every detail of the three months he had held Jane. I wanted to know who he worked for.

But it looked like Frankie had other plans for him. I looked like Frankie wanted to break his face. I didn't blame him.

"No" I screamed

"Frankie" I screamed

It all happened so fast.

I ran towards Jet and Frankie yelling not to kill Jet.

Jet had overpowered Frankie and so I charged Jet instead. I could try to knock him over.

I was so angry at him but that might not have been my smartest decision.

Suddenly everything went black.

It felt like seconds later. It could have been minutes.

When I opened my eyes Jet and Jane were standing over me and Jane was aiming my gun at me. The previous look she had held me with of betrayal was replaced by a complete lack of expression.

Again.

I have no idea what the reaction written on my face said but Jet smiled at it.

I swallowed and it tasted metallic. Blood. The side of my face hurt.

Frankie was still lying on the ground.

Jet had been saying something to Jane, I couldn't make it out. He had that same smile of glee on his face. Victory. Power. The one I really wanted to remove.

Where was Korsak.

Only one little thing had gone wrong. Somehow. Life is uncertain and the best laid plans don't always go accordingly.

So close.

"Kill her"

His voice echo's around my head as I looked into the cold hard barrel of the gun with eyes of cold icy steel just behind it. Her finger tightened on the trigger. There was a little flicker of a spark deep inside the barrel followed by a puff of smoke.

I close my eyes and hear the bang.

Red and Blue collide.

It hurt. It felt like my chest exploded. I felt the wetness soaking through my designer shirt.

He said something to Jane and then I could hear her screaming. I hear Jane screaming. I hear the metallic clang of the gun dropping to the pavement. I hear the shuffle of feet moving hurriedly close to me. I hear the dull thud of flesh and bone crashing against asphalt. I feel arms around my neck. I feel hair against my cheek and breath on my neck. I can hear Jet laughing. His victorious evil laugh. I wait for him to take her away but he doesn't.

"You killed her Jane. You killed your sweet sweet Maura."

She is sobbing. She is not paying any attention to him. She is not attacking him. She is not stopping him. She is beside me and she is beside herself.

Purple.

I want to move but it hurts to breathe and her body weight is bearing down on top of me. I hear Jet walk away from us, he left her. I don't understand.

I try to touch her, move her, let her know I am ok but she is heavy and pinning me down. I try to call out "Jane" but it is barely a hoarse whisper. Then the weight slowly shifts off me and I try to speak again, "I'm ok Jane."

Sirens blaring and I hear Jet's muffled screaming as they arrest him. I can tell they gaged him. For Jane's sake. I can hear the echoing of shuffling feet echoing through the ground against my temple. The clinking of handcuffs. The reading of rights. The slamming of car doors.

Then I hear the familiar shuffle of Korsak's heavy set gait walking towards us getting louder and deeper.

They stop.

"It's ok Jane. Maura is fine."

A pause

"Jane?"

His voice sounds like a concerned parent comforting a small child. I don't yet understand why.

Korsak pulls me to sit up and I can only groan. No one tells you blanks at almost point blank range will hurt quite that much. Even with a vest on. I can already tell the bruises will be dark purple. I try to cough and the ache shoots across my ribs to the back of my head and I groan again. But I open my eyes. And that's when I understand.

I understand that I know nothing.

Purple splatter.

Jane lies unmoving in the fetal position in a puddle of blood. My fake blood. She is covered in it. She is covered in dark red. It is over her hands, arm, chest and stomach. It has soaked into her side, back and sleeves where she is lying. It is smeared across her face as well. I shake her gently by her shoulder but she is stiff and doesn't respond.

"Jane, it's ok, I'm ok sweetie. It's over."

I shake her harder.

"Please Jane"

Nothing.

I try to pull her towards me but she resists. She stays in her rigid and safe spot.

Red doesn't move.

"Jane please. Everything is ok. I am ok. You didn't do anything."

I plead. My voice cracks. The fear rises inside me.

She doesn't hear me. She doesn't move. She doesn't respond at all.

"No, no, no, no, no , no"

I get as close to her as I can and try to hold her. I scream at her as loud as I can. I plead and yell and plead some more.

But she doesn't seem to hear me. I think this because her eyes stay fixed yet unfocused and unblinking looking straight ahead of her into the distance.

The mind disassociates from the trauma in order for the person to be able to function.

Red is lost. Red is not functioning.

Her cheeks are still wet with tears shed but she isn't crying anymore. I wipe them away with the pads of my thumbs. She doesn't flinch or blink or shift her eye-line. She shows no emotion.

I lie on the ground facing her so I block her view. Her pupils do not dilate or adjust.

"Jane, Please Jane. I am alright. I am alive."

No response.

Red is broken.

"He was meant to shoot me not you." I whimper but it doesn't help.

Eventually I can't hold back my own tears anymore.

I die inside.

But red...

Red didn't emerge from the purple.

To be continued...

Note: Yeah I know this whole story is written so strangely. Your comments have been showing me that. It was kinda my plan that the story unfolds as understanding comes just as our world changes around us with greater insight and revelation...but I am not quite sure it is working the way I wanted it to :( Time will tell...as will you tell me my wonderful readers. I'm wondering if it's coming across more like someone telling a story very badly, missing main plot points etc...like someone a bit confused or senile...I hope not. The start was slightly deceptive purposely but this chapter hopefully brought understanding. My idea of writing like this is that you , the reader, are part of the journey., that you are walking in Maura's shoes (even though it has been in past tense) that you can hopefully see and feel it from her perspective and understand it deeper from her illustrative analogies. I love your comments, especially that you take the time to write them, please keep them coming :)