Chapter Nine: Theory
"Can I ask just one more?" I pleaded as Belinda accelerated much too quickly down the street. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to the road.
She sighed.
"One," she agreed. Her lips pressed together in a cautious line.
"Well…you said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you knew that."
She looked away deliberating.
"I thought were past all the evasiveness," I grumbled.
She almost smiled.
"Fine, then. I followed your scent." She looked at the road, giving me time to compose my face. I couldn't think of an acceptable response to that, but I filed it carefully away for future study. I tried to refocus. I wasn't ready to let her be finished, now that she was finally explaining things.
"And then you didn't answer one of my first questions…"
She looked at me with disapproval. "Which one?"
"How does it work – the mind-reading thing?" Can you hear anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it?" Can the rest of your family…?" I felt silly asking for clarification on make-believe.
"That's more than one," she pointed out. I simply looked at her, waiting.
"Not, it's just me. And I can't here anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's…'voice' is, the father away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." She paused thoughtfully. "It's like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum – a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. Most of the time I tune it all out. It's easier to seem…normal…when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than their words."
"Why do you think you can't hear me?" I asked curiously.
She looked at me, her eyes enigmatic.
"I don't know," she murmured. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM."
"My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?"
"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak," she laughed, "Don't worry, it's just a theory….which brings us back to you."
I sighed. How to begin?
"Aren't we past all the evasion now?" she reminded me softly.
I looked away from her face, trying to find words. I happened to notice the speedometer.
"Damn son! Hell naw!" I shouted. "Slow down!"
"What's wrong?" She was startled. But the car didn't decelerate.
"You're going a hundred miles an hour!"
"Relax, Jordan." She shook her head, still not slowing.
"Are you trying to kill us?" I demanded.
"We're not going to crash."
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I always drive like this." She turned to smile at me.
"Keep your eyes on the road!"
"I've never been in an accident, Jordan – I've never even gotten a ticket." She grinned and tapped her forehead. "Built-in radar detector."
"Very funny. Gabe's a cop, remember? Besides, if you turn us into a Ford pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."
"Probably," she agreed, "But you can't." She sighed and I watched as the needle gradually drifted toward eighty. "Happy?"
"Not really."
"I hate driving slow," she muttered.
"This is slow?"
"You should see Jean Bazemore drive. Enough commentary on my driving," she snapped. "I'm still waiting for your latest theory. I won't laugh."
"I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me."
"Is it that bad?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"Go on," she urged, "What got you started – a book? A movie?"
"No, I was talking to an old family friend – Therese Black. Her dad and Gabe have been friends since I was a baby. Her dad is one of the tribal elders." I watched her carefully. Her confused expression froze in place. "She told me some scary stories about…vampires." I noticed her knuckles tighten convulsively on the wheel.
"And you immediately thought of me?"
"No…She mentioned your family."
"What did you do then?"
"I did some research on the Internet."
"And did that convince you?" Her voice sounded barely interested. But her hands were clamped hard on the steering wheel.
"No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…" I stopped.
"What?"
"I decided it didn't matter."
"Didn't matter?" Her tone made me look up.
"No," I said softly. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."
"You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human!"
"No. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No. I'd rather know what you're thinking – even if what you're thinking is insane."
"So I'm wrong again?"
"That's not I was referring to."
"So I'm right?"
"Does it matter?"
"No, but I'm curious."
"What about?"
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen," she answered promptly, "On November 27th."
"How long have you been seventeen?"
"A while," she admitted at last.
"Ok. Don't laugh – but how can you come out during the daytime?"
She laughed anyway. "Myth."
"Burned by the sun?"
"Myth."
"Sleeping in coffins?"
"Myth." She hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered her voice. "I can't sleep."
"At all?"
"Never," she replied, her voice nearly inaudible. She looked at me and her dark eyes caught mine. "You haven't asked me the most important question yet."
"Which one is that?"
"You aren't concerned about my diet?" she asked sarcastically.
"Oh," I murmured. "That."
"Yes, that. Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"
"Therese said something about that."
"What did she say?"
"She said you didn't…hunt…people. She said your family wasn't supposed to be dangerous because you only hunted animals."
"She said we weren't dangerous?" she asked skeptically.
"No, she said you weren't supposed to be dangerous. But they didn't want you on their land, just in case." She didn't answer. "Was she right? About not hunting people?"
"The Yurok have a long memory," she whispered, "Don't let that make you complacent, though. They're right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous."
"I don't understand."
"We try," she explained slowly. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you."
"This is a mistake?" And here I thought this was such a good first date…Long car ride, it would only be better if she'd let me give her a back rub.
"A very dangerous one."
"Tell me more," I asked desperate to hear her voice again.
"What more do you want to know?"
"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," I suggested.
"I don't want to be a monster."
"But animals aren't enough?"
"I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk, we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time. Sometimes it's more difficult than others."
"Is it very difficult for you now?" I asked.
"Yes."
I didn't answer, I just listened to the sound of her voice, committing it to memory.
"Were you hunting this weekend, with Josh?" I asked.
"Yes. I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."
"Why didn't you want to leave?"
"It makes me…anxious…to be away from you. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. I'm surprised you made it through with only those scratches."
"What?"
"Your hands."
"I fell."
"I figured. It could have been worse and that possibility tormented me the entire time. It was a very long three days. I really got on Josh's nerves."
"Didn't you just get back today?"
"No, Sunday."
"Then why weren't you in school?" I demanded, angry as I thought of how much disappointment I had suffered because of her absence.
"Well, the sun doesn't hurt me, but I can't go out in the sunlight – at least, not where anyone can see."
"Why?"
"I'll show you sometime," she promised.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" I demanded.
"Yes – I have a paper due, too. I never turn assignments in late." She smiled. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."
"Do you promise to be there tomorrow?"
"I promise."
"Promise me something," she asked as we pulled up to Gabe's house, "Don't go into the woods alone."
"Why?"
"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at that."
I walked up the stairs to my room in a daze, ignored Gabe's greeting. My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand, and some I fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Belinda was a vampire. Second, there was a part of her – and I didn't know how potent that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.
Chapter Ten: Interrogations
Bitch no, I was late again…Gabe had already gone to work. It was usually foggy outside; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold here it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it: a red car. My heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up again in double time.
I didn't see where she came from, but suddenly he was there, pulling the door open for me.
"Do you want a ride today?" she offered, holding the door for me. I got in and then, sooner than should be possible, she was sitting next to me, starting the car. "No twenty questions, today?"
"Do they bother you?"
"No. Where's the rest of your family?" I asked – more than glad to be alone with her, but remembering that her car was usually full.
"They took She'ifa's car." She shrugged as she parked next to a glossy red convertible with the top up, "Ostentatious, isn't it?"
"Um, wow." I breathed, "If she has that, why does she ride with you?"
"Like I said, it's ostentatious. We try to blend in."
"You don't succeed." I laughed as we got out of the car. I wasn't late anymore; her lunatic driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. "So why did She'ifa drive today if it's more conspicuous?"
"She doesn't drive. Nick does. It's her car, but she doesn't have her license. She's only twelve."
"Really?" I asked, genuinely surprised.
"No. But tell her that she is, it really pisses her off. Anyways, haven't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now." She met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that distance, but I was afraid she wouldn't like me to.
"Why do you have cars like that at all if you're looking for privacy?"
"An indulgence. We all like to drive fast. We bought a Tesla for Terra last year."
"Figures."
"Analiese is waiting to ambush you," she warned.
"What does she want to know?" I demanded.
"That's not fair." She shook her head, grinning impishly.
"No, you not sharing is not fair."
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me."
"What do I say?"
"Yes to the first, if you don't mind, it's easier than any other explanation."
"I don't mind."
"And for the second, I'll be listening myself for that answer," she told me leaving me in wait of an interrogation.
"Wow. Belinda Cullen?" Analiese prompted, "Are you going on another date?"
"I know. Wow. I mean, she offered to drive me to Eureka Saturday. Does that count?"
"Yes."
"Have you kissed her?"
"No!"
"What did you talk about?"
"I don't know. Lot's of stuff. About an English essay a little." A very, very little. I think she mentioned it in passing.
"So you like her?"
"Yes."
"I mean, do you really like her?"
"Yes."
"How much do you like her?"
"Too much. More than she likes me."
Belinda dropped into the seat beside me in our first class. I could feel everyone's eyes on us. She stayed with me in every class until I had to go to Spanish. She had tested out. During lunch she and I sat alone in our own little corner of the courtyard. She took out her lunch bag and handed half of its contents to me.
"Why do you pack a lunch?"
"To seem normal," she answered, "Don't you like sandwiches? It's pepperoni, cheese, and ketchup."
"What would you do if someone dared you to eat food?"
She grimaced, but opened her bag of fruit snacks. She tossed one in her mouth, chewed, then swallowed.
"If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you? Or cat food?"
"I did once…on a dare. It wasn't so bad."
"I'm not surprised." She paused. "Something you said to Analiese…well, it bothers me."
"I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You know what they say about eavesdroppers."
"I told you I'd be listening."
"And?"
"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?"
I didn't reply.
"Are you going to answer the question?"
"Yes."
"Yes, you're going to answer, or yes, you really think that?"
"Yes, I really think that."
"You're wrong. Why would you think that?"
"Because…you're always trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else."
"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most because if I can do it, if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."
"And you don't think I would do the same?"
"You'd never have to make the choice." I didn't answer. "Do you really need to go to Eureka Saturday or can we do something else?"
"I'm open to alternatives, but I get to drive."
"Why?"
"I told Gabe I'm driving and I can't leave my truck at home. And because you're driving frightens me."
"You haven't seen me try to parallel park yet," she laughed, "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving."
"Where are we going?"
"The weather will be nice. So we can stay out of the public eye together."
"And you'll show me what you mean about the sun?"
"Yes. You should tell Gabe you'll be with me."
"Why in the world would I do that?"
"To give me some small incentive to bring you back."
"I think I'll take my chances."
I glanced around us, making sure no one else could hear. I caught the eyes of her sister, Raquel, staring at me. The others were looking at Belinda. I looked away.
"Why do you go hunting where there are bears? Gabe said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of the bears."
Belinda looked at me as if I was missing something very obvious.
"Bears?" I gasped, "It's not bear season."
"The laws only cover hunting with weapons."
"Bears?"
"Grizzly is Josh's favorite."
"Hmmm." I took a sip of my Dr. Pepper. "What's your favorite?"
"Mountain lion."
"Ah."
"Of course, we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators. There's always plenty of deer and elk near by, and they'll do, but where's the fun in that?"
"Where in deed."
"Early spring is Josh's favorite bear season – they're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable."
"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear."
"Tell me what you're really thinking, please."
"I can't imagine it. How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"
"Oh we have weapons. Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Josh hunting."
I couldn't stop the shiver from flashing down my spine. I peeked across the courtyard toward Josh, easily one of the largest guys at the school, grateful that he wasn't looking my way. The muscles and bulk on his arms and torso were somehow even more menacing now. Belinda followed my gaze and laughed.
"Are you like a bear too?"
"More like the lion, or so they tell me. Perhaps our preferences are indicative."
"Perhaps. Is that something I might get to see?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Too scary?"
"If that were it, I would take you out tonight. You need a healthy dose of fear."
"Then why?"
"Later. We're going to be late." She jumped up. I glanced around but where she had sat was empty. I caught a glimpse of her dark hair halfway down the hall.
"Later, then," I agreed. I wouldn't forget.