Been in India for a few weeks, but I'm back now. I must admit that watching 'Black Swan' yesterday did nothing good to my self-esteem, but it did indeed leave me with a meh-feeling towards UPL and its sister.

This isn't proof-read at all.

Untouched: The Persistence of Loss

Written by Venerate

Sunspots

Heavy mumbles were running through the cafeteria. Despite the high ceiling, Sasuke was sure that the many loud voices were reaching it without problems. The volume was as high as it always would be in a high school cafeteria, private or not. Yet, Sasuke found himself here each day, avoiding people until he found himself an empty table to sit by.

Today, there were two empty tables, and Sasuke chose the one that was furthest away from the others. He held his tray steadily, his eyes trained on his spot, making his way through the too thin aisle. The bright walls seemed to glare at him today, and he was happy that the empty table was placed against the only wall that wasn't white. He sat down, leaning slightly against the cold brick wall. When the school built a new cafeteria, they didn't bother to remove the brick wall that was, originally, the outside of the school.

"There you are."

Sasuke looked up, wondering whom on Earth was talking to him. He wasn't all too surprised upon seeing Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru. With them, stood a strange-looking teen. Despite the high collar of the jacket and those silly sunglasses, Sasuke recognised the boy as Aburame Shino. Sasuke kept down a sigh, not really sure what he had done to make them feel welcome at his table.

They sat down, starting to eat immediately as if this was everyday occurrence. Sasuke was surprised that Kiba could fit so much food in his mouth at once. When Chouji commented the food's quality, Sasuke didn't listen. He tried not to make eye contact, thinking that they would get the hint if he ignored them long enough.

It didn't work.

"Can we sit here?"

Hell no.

Sasuke closed his eyes, sighing through his nose. Had he been another person, he would probably be delighted to see the two most popular girls stand there, their red trays in thin hands and faking shy smiles. Immediately, Kiba scooted over, closer to Sasuke, leaving room for Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura. They sat down, acting as if they didn't know how attractive they were.

Not that Sasuke found them appealing. On the contrary, he found the girls to be quite hypocritical and dishonest. One second, both girls would be blushing, acting as innocent as they were the day they were born. The other, they would be yelling at each other because the other had 'accidently' touched the pretty boy they were competing about.

By the looks he was receiving from the young females, he guessed that he was their new target. As if his life could become any worse. He pretended not to notice how the blonde girl tried to catch his attention, and instead returned to staring down on his tray. The plastic spoon in his hand felt fragile, and he resisted the urge to snap it in two.

The yoghurt had lumps in it. Small fruity lumps, formerly in various colours but now covered with thick yoghurt. A small part of him considered throwing the blue cup at Kiba and see what happened. That would certainly remove the girls' attention from him.

Sasuke didn't look up once during lunch, waiting for the bell to ring so that he could disappear into the student body.

"Where are you going?"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder, scowling slightly at the question. He was sweating and felt disgusting – he was in dire need of a shower. He didn't bother to answer his trainer, and instead turned fully to face Kakashi.

"Training isn't over for you just yet, Sasuke." Kakashi was smiling, the eye that was visible sparkling with mischief. "Your uncle had a talk with me. To be honest, I didn't know that you were thinking of taking soccer to a professional level."

Neither did Sasuke. His hands, once limp and warm by his sides, turned into fists in anger. "What do you want, Hatake?"

Kakashi tilted his head slightly. "I want five laps from you. After that, you should go shower – because you really stink."

Sasuke gritted his teeth, moving to the sidelines.

"Oh, and Sasuke!"

Sasuke didn't look over his shoulder, knowing that the silver-haired man would continue anyway.

"Make sure to find a training partner who is willing to stay for more training!"

And with that, Kakashi moved off the field and disappeared into the locker room. Sasuke sped up. A tingling feeling was running through his body, making him shiver and growl. He wanted nothing but run to Kakashi and reveal the truth. How his older brother was a manipulating bastard that just loved torturing him. How soccer was nothing more than a hobby.

"Bastard," Sasuke panted. His throat was already dry, his body using energy to keep his anger at bay. "Fucking, fucking bastard."

When Friday rolled around, the weather had taken a horrible turn. Sasuke glared up at the sky, his bad mood not improving. Students ran over the parking lot, books and bags held over their heads as water poured over them. Everything seemed grey.

Everything but the sanctuary of his room, where he was allowed to stare at the photogenic Namikaze Naruto. He couldn't very well lock himself in there, knowing that absence wouldn't look good in his parents' eyes.

Instead, he sat in the warmth of his car, looking out over the school parking lot with sadistic glee. Not a single one of his fellow students had brought an umbrella, he noted.

Grabbing his bag over one of his broad shoulders, he took the navy blue umbrella in his other hand and got out of the car. Unfolding it quickly, he was saved from the heavy rain. Sometimes it paid off to watch the news while eating breakfast. According to the handsome weather man, the rain would continue to fall into the next week.

Not that Sasuke minded.

"Uchiha!"

"Oomph!" Sasuke, on his way to lock the car doors, was tackled straight into the vehicle. His bag fell to the ground, but his grip on the umbrella didn't falter. He really didn't want to get wet.

"Sorry, man!"

Sasuke recognised Kiba's voice perfectly well, turning around and pushing the boy off him. He leaned down, grabbing his bag. It had turned damp, and Sasuke dearly hoped that the books within were unharmed. "What do you want, moron?"

"Share that umbrella with me, won't you? It's raining!"

"Really?"

Sasuke pushed himself off the car, picking up a fast pace to get away from the brown-haired idiot. Kiba followed quickly, trying to get some room under Sasuke's big, blue umbrella. As soon as Kiba managed to get under the shelter, Sasuke pushed him out. It wasn't big enough for them both, unless they wanted to walk so close that their shoulders were brushing. Sasuke didn't want that.

"Dude! So fucking brutal!"

Sasuke didn't reply, deeming the statement unworthy his respond. Kiba soon realised that the bag over his head would be penetrated by the water, and thus all his books would get ruined. Sasuke was glad when the brunette waved his goodbye before dashing towards the entrance.

Once inside the building, Sasuke folded together his umbrella and made his way through the mass of teens. He was one of the few that looked unaffected by the rain. When he stopped by his locker to get rid of his umbrella and his messenger bag, he narrowed his eyes at the poster that was put on the wall next to one of the classroom doors.

He recognised the title of the show that was advertised. He had seen it a few weeks ago with his parents and brother. It was being held once again, this weekend. This Saturday. Sasuke hid a faint smile on his features, nervousity dominating the annoyance he had felt minutes ago. It was the show him and Kiba were going to see tomorrow.

Starring Namikaze Naruto.

Walking up to the poster, having closed his locker, Sasuke looked it over. A picture of Naruto was on the poster, and Sasuke had seen it on Uzumaki Kushina's website. Naruto standing in a proud pose, his eyes looking up towards the ceiling.

Sasuke felt a pang of annoyance that was bubbling under the joy of meeting Naruto, when he noticed that some smartass had added butterfly wings to Naruto's lean form and written the word 'fairy' above his head. Immediately, Sasuke's big hand came up to rip the poster down.

The sound of paper being ripped attracted a few looks, but he glared at anyone who dared looking. He knew, deep down, that male ballet-dancers shouldn't expect any less but being called all kinds of demeaning insults. However, he found it unfair. Naruto didn't deserve that.

He passed a garbage can that was nailed to the wall, throwing the poster there.

When he reached the classroom, he decided that his life sucked. The classroom was almost filled, leaving a very few options where to sit. He didn't like sitting in the far back, where the troublemakers sat and whispered among themselves, acting tough and ignoring the teacher. He didn't want to sit in the far front either, as that way; the teacher would notice his every movement.

"Oi, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked over at the calm, tired tone. Shikamaru was sitting next to Shino, an empty chair on his left.

"We saved you a seat."

Nodding his thanks, Sasuke sat down in the middle, next to the brown-haired genius. He knew that Shikamaru was a part of the shogi club and often joined the math club when he didn't want to go home and face his bothersome mother.

He picked up his books and waited for Sarutobi Asuma to enter the room. He wasn't surprised to see that Kiba was absent – he guessed that math wasn't the brunet's forte.

"Asuma is going to be late." Shikamaru sighed. "I saw him with Kurenai-sensei in the cafeteria."

Sasuke closed his eyes at the information, irked to hear that he would have to wait. However, he picked up his laptop from his bag and turned it on. He saw a few others picking up their laptops as well, probably thinking that if Uchiha Sasuke would be using his, it was okay for them too.

Sasuke opened one of his favourite pages, knowing that no one would see what he was doing. The only one next to him was Shikamaru, who was already sleeping peacefully. The students behind him had already started up some sort of game, taking all of their attention away from what happened on the rows in front of them.

There were no new pictures of Naruto up yet, but he guessed that there would be by tomorrow night. Uzumaki Kushina was really quick to put up pictures after a show. A small smirk threatened to emerge on his face – to think that he was going to see Naruto.

Soon, really soon, he would be allowed to hold out his hand and introduce himself as Uchiha Sasuke. Now, if that didn't impress the blonde dancer, Sasuke's looks certainly would. Even if Naruto had a boyfriend, Sasuke would sweep him off his feet–

"Good morning, class!"

Sasuke schooled his features, a grimace close to appearing. He immediately turned off his computer and put it back down. Asuma didn't allow any technology in the room besides calculators.

The class started, but Sasuke didn't get anything done. He was in a whirlwind of emotions. He could let go the fact that his brother had been so unfair. He couldn't let go that what had been his hobby – his, and only his, without expectations – had turned into something that was to be ruled by the clan. He was angry with himself for letting this happen again.

A tingling, nervous feeling was there as well, making his mood even worse. Nervousity about tomorrow evening, when he would meet Naruto for the first time. They would look each other in the eyes, and Sasuke would offer his hand to the younger male.

He felt stupid. This tingling feeling was making him stupid, he was sure. With these stupid thoughts, imagining tomorrow and putting together scenes in his head. He was behaving so stupidly. Grabbing his pencil, he started taking notes of what Asuma wrote on the board. It appeared that they were supposed to finish the chapter about geometry today.

Knowing Asuma, there would probably be a test by the end of this month. Sasuke wasn't too concerned – he knew how to do this. Logic solved with logic. It was simple, once you got the basics. He could almost guarantee that he would get an A+ on this test. At least his brain hadn't turned into mush completely. He really didn't wish to become a lovesick puppy. He knew how ill-fitting it looked on most girls, and could imagine how awful it would look on him.

"Uchiha-kun? Will you come and solve this on the board?"

Sasuke looked up, casting a brief look on the mathematics problem on the board. He gave a curt nod before standing and walking over to Asuma, who gave him the thick, black pen. With ease, Sasuke wrote handsome numbers on the white surface. Thanks to his skills with drawing, his writing style was more or less flawless.

"Correct. Well done, Uchiha-kun. Now, Shikamaru, get your lazy ass up and answer this one."

Sasuke watched as the tall, somewhat lanky Shikamaru got up from his desk. With tired steps, the brunet walked over to the board and took the pen from their teacher. He solved the problem with ridiculous simplicity, making it look easy. Sasuke was jealous, because he knew that it came naturally to Shikamaru, while he, Sasuke himself, had to study to get so flawless answers.

He didn't mind studying, as it was something he had done his entire life. Since he was a part of the Uchiha clan and brother to Itachi, the majority assumed that he was great at every subject, when in reality, all he did when he wasn't drawing or playing soccer was studying. Of course that would lead to perfect grades and answers to all questions.

Sasuke wasn't nervous often. Sometimes, when he did new things – such as entering a new subject at school, or learning how to drive – he was nervous that he would fail. He was nervous before big games, afraid that he wouldn't be capable of leading his team to victory. He was nervous today.

His nervousity took a very ugly form, something akin to hidden anger and frustration. Many of his relatives claimed that he got that side from his mother, who got nervous before tea gatherings and dinners and acted much as a poisonous snake before the guests arrived.

So when Kiba arrived by the gates of the Uchiha Compound, Sasuke clenched his jaws together and offered a polite nod. The brown-haired male's car was nothing impressive – an old, rusty blue thing that seemed to be surrounded by noise. It wasn't what Sasuke was used to ride around in, but he didn't mind. He guessed that it would work, even if he wanted to make an impression on Naruto.

He folded his wet umbrella together before sliding down in the passenger seat. He was just about to throw it back on the backseat, when he noticed that Shino and Shikamaru was cramped together there offering him mute hello's.

"We're picking Chouji up as well," Kiba said. "I thought that it would be gay for just us to go, so I decided to bring an odd number."

Sasuke blinked; surprised by the thought Kiba had given it. "How genius of you," he commented, his tone sarcastic. All he got in reply was a harsh push from the dog-lover. Sasuke leaned back and stared out through the window, inhaling the damp air inside of the car.

He could barely see anything outside, but could make out beautiful houses as they drove out from the richer part of Konoha. Silence filled the car, and Sasuke was glad, since that meant that he wouldn't have to make a conversation.

They arrived ten minutes later, in what looked like the perfect suburban. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and stared out through the wet window. The houses were all medium-sized; well-kept gardens surrounded by different fences. A few kids, clad in neon-coloured rain coats and boots, were jumping up and down by the side walk. Water splashed around them. Sasuke could see how their mouths were open, but he couldn't hear their joyous laughter.

The car suddenly tipped slightly to the other side, causing Sasuke to grip the handle by the window in surprise. He looked back, seeing the overweight boy climbing inside and forcing himself down next to Shikamaru. He smiled sheepishly at the Uchiha but received nothing in reply.

"God, this weather is only getting worse," Kiba grunted out. He leaned forward, trying to get a better view.

"It's been raining for days. I can't see how you can be surprised," Shikamaru commented. Sasuke quietly agreed. The weather man had stated that the rain would continue into the next week. It was unusual with this kind of weather in Konoha, but it was a nice change. "Are we there yet?"

Kiba grunted. "Ten more minutes. It's almost impossible to drive through this shit."

Sasuke leaned back, drumming his fingertips against his thigh. Ten minutes. Ten minutes, and he would get to see Naruto again. After the show, he would speak to him. It was almost surreal. Naruto was almost a like a dream – or, maybe, a concept. He wasn't sure, but he hoped that the other would live up to his expectations.

Once they had bonded enough, Sasuke would kidnap the blond and take him home. There, after a few rounds of teenage sex, Naruto would model for him. The thought of Naruto modelling for him almost had the same erotic feeling to it as having sex with the ballerino.

"Yell if you see a parking spot!"

Sasuke almost flinched at the loud volume of the brunet. Chouji let out something that sounded suspiciously much as a grunt, but Kiba seemed to understand what it meant. The Inuzuka took his time to park, as if he had just gotten his licence. It took at least five minutes, and by then, the car wasn't even parked straight.

"Stick together, everyone, I don't want to be seen with Mr. Faggot all alone," Kiba said and got out of the car, an umbrella already unfolded.

Sasuke and the others followed suit, heavy water pouring over their umbrellas. As soon as Kiba had locked the vehicle, they jogged to the big building. There was a small line by the entrance, but it only took half a minute before everyone were pushing their way forward in the lobby. The expensive tickets were bought, Sasuke sponsoring Kiba's as a silent thank you. Kiba didn't enjoy the fact that a dude had bought his ticket, but was too cheap to argue.

They found their seats easily, but it was rather complicated to pass all the sitting businessmen and their families. Kiba barged his way forward, loudly growling out 'excuse me' before pressing forward to get to their seats. Shikamaru even chuckled at the soccer player's annoyance.

Once they were seated, Kiba was talking again. "I haven't seen Naruto in years. He was pretty cool when we were kids, though. I bet he's all snobbish and preppy now, like Uchiha here." There was a slight pause before Kiba continued, "Hey! You would be perfect for each other!"

"Shut up." Sasuke hit the brown-haired moron over the head, causing Kiba to curse. A satisfied feeling ran through his body – whether it came from hitting Kiba or hearing him say that he would be a suitable partner for Naruto, he was unsure.

The lights slowly dimmed out, and the talking in the audience soon turned into inaudible murmurs. Then, silence as heavy curtains parted on the big stage. Sasuke licked his lips, recognising the first scene. Despite knowing exactly what was going to happen in the show, he felt anxious to see it again. It had been rather beautiful, with pleasant music and graceful dancers.

Kiba shifted in his seat when a petite female and Naruto entered the stage, holding each others' hands. Sasuke guessed that Naruto would play the correct role as main male character this time, not the female part. When the music started, the annoying soccer player next to him leaned closer, muttering,

"I bet he'd look good with you, dude, so I'll help you."

Sasuke couldn't help but feel grateful.

"Kiba. Kiba! For fuck's sake, stop pushing me." Shikamaru growled, trying to avoid getting shoved forward once again. His annoyance was visible in his auburn eyes, but his posture was lazy as ever. Sasuke suspected that the teen had been sleeping on and off during the show. "It's not going any faster, so stop it."

Sasuke, on the other hand, felt that he too wanted to start pushing and shoving, but his face revealed nothing of this. He stayed perfectly quiet and let Kiba handle the crowd that never seemed to get up from their red chairs to leave the auditorium.

He wasn't as nervous anymore, trying to find ease in the fact that Naruto seemed like a very easy-going person despite the picture of craziness that Kiba wanted to paint up. No, it was his impatience that had him feel a bit irritated about the slow audience. To hide this from the grinning Kiba, the eating Chouji and the sighing Shino, he put his hands in his pockets and kept his gaze on his goal – the big doors that led to the lobby. He was pretty sure that Shikamaru could sense or see his mix of emotions, being the genius he was.

"Hey, Kiba!" Chouji's cry for his friend rang in Sasuke's ear, and the Uchiha threw a dark glare over his shoulder. The orange-haired boy failed to notice, his eyes instead on the brown-haired idiot that jumped over the chairs to get to the exit faster. None of the boys followed Kiba's example, instead moving forward with penguin-steps. Sasuke found that he would rather suffer impatience and nervousity for a little while longer than jumping over seats like an uneducated fool.

The lobby was very busy once they reached it, full with people queuing for their fur coats and discussing the pure beauty in the human body as it performed an entire story. Sasuke could honestly say that he hadn't paid much attention to the actual story, but mostly enjoyed the way Naruto's adolescent body had moved to the beautiful and dramatic music. His thoughts had mainly centred on the blond boy's muscles and sweaty skin, how his fair hair had covered azure eyes.

"Let's just wait here. We can get our jackets later," Kiba suggested.

They stopped by the exit, glancing out through the big glass doors to see nothing but pouring rain. Sasuke barely noticed Chouji sneaking away to get something from the little kiosk that belonged to the cinema next doors.

"Man, so many old people," Kiba voiced up. "Like, shouldn't they be at work at this hour? It's three in the afternoon."

Sasuke chose not to comment on this. He looked around to see that there were a lot of adults rather than people in their own age. However, the time when Sasuke had first seen this performance, there had been plenty of girls and boys from the private school which he attended, but the performance had been in the evening that time. He recognised a few of the people, most of the audience being those who could afford taking an afternoon off for personal pleasures.

"You think he'll be much longer?" Shikamaru asked Kiba with a tired and bored tone.

"Nah. He never was that careful 'bout his looks. Mama said that he shouldn't have changed much."

Sasuke didn't know what to say to that. One look at the posters that had graced his school, or the picture on Uzumaki Kushina's website and he had automatically assumed the opposite. The blond hair looked so soft and so perfectly styled, a few strands always tickling his eyes or cheekbones. Sasuke could also very well tell that Naruto wore make-up at stage, like that Hyuuga and all the other dancers. It had to be a pain to get off, he thought.

It wasn't until the lobby had cleared off that they saw someone that didn't belong into the current crowd. It was a performer – more precisely, Naruto.

Immediately, Sasuke's posture straightened. He brushed off some invisibly dirt from his shirt and tried to think of something else than having Naruto pushed up against one of those mirror-walls in the younger teen's dance studio. Preferably naked, panting and sweating.

These thoughts were instantly erased when Naruto pushed his way through the crowd with an absent-minded look on his handsome face. His eyes were read and puffy, his scarred cheeks wet. He heard Kiba speak up behind him, probably trying to gain Naruto's attention. The ballerino, still dressed in stage clothes and wearing those thin ballet shoes, didn't seem to care.

Instead, Naruto ran outside, pushing the golden-framed glass doors open to get outside. The rain was still coming down in big, frequent drops of blue. The blond hair became a blur, and so did the rest of the athletic body. The young Uchiha turned to face the others, Shikamaru sighing and Shino still saying nothing. Kiba was grimacing.

"Weird."

Sasuke couldn't help but agree.

To Be Continued