When we finally surfaced, the sun was just beginning to rise. Dancing across the water, I could see the light reflected off our skin.
I looked over at Alice and she was smiling at me. "You going to be okay?"
"I don't know." I said truthfully.
We reached the shore and I could see the rest of my siblings waiting for me. They all looked at me with love and their thoughts were similarly occupied.
Without words we all came together. We didn't hug or kiss, but we all came close and stayed like that in each other's presence.
After a while I noticed my clothes were stiff and frozen and had to break the ice down. This got a chuckle out of Emmett and Jasper joined in when Alice noticed the same thing. Soon we were all laughing and heading back to the cabin.
"Those eyes are a trick, Edward." Emmett nudged me. "Haven't seen you with red eyes before. I've seen it on me and Jasper, but never you."
I looked down, ashamed again.
"Don't worry about it." Jasper chimed in. "It will fade after a couple of months. And I heard Carlisle saying we were going to be here for a while anyway."
I nodded trying not to think about it.
"Yea, and maybe we can get you some blue contacts. I think you would look well with purple eyes!" Emmett joked. Small giggles and laughs burst from everyone.
The laughs around me still sounded strained but we had made up. We were a family after all.
My laugh died as soon I came within earshot of the cabin. The almost silent groans of the girl had now turned to screams.
Acid churned through my stomach. Everyone turned to look at me with varying ranges of emotions. The worst was Emmett who looked at me with pity.
They all kept their distance, finding other things to do, but I headed toward the house.
As soon as I entered the cabin, Esme came to me and pulled me into a hug. She was shorter than me but I felt utterly small in her embrace. She pulled back and even though she tried to hide it I could see the sadness in her eyes and I could hear her thoughts.
"I know." I said to her, trying to console her. "Where's Carlisle?"
She nodded her head toward the bedroom. Turning, I took a deep breath before I entered the small space. As he noticed my approach, Carlisle looked up from where he had rested his head in his hands.
"I'll look after her." I offered. "I know this is hard for you, get out and enjoy the fresh air."
He looked at me with sadness. "You don't have to do this Edward."
"I do. This is my burden to bear. I changed her, I am responsible." He got up slowly, as he passed he searched my eyes, trying to determine what I was really feeling. But unable to find anything, he patted my shoulder and left.
I waited till I heard the door close till I sat in the chair Carlisle had just left. Turning toward the writhing form, I waited. Her screams pulsed through my ears till I was numb to anything else, just like the lack of vision and hearing under the water had numbed me.
It went on like that for 2 more days. Her screams numbing me till I was nothing but a statue, a statue of pain.
Occasionally, one of the others would come in and try to talk to me, but I couldn't hear them. My ears were for her screams only. I briefly remember someone pulling on my arm trying to pull me away but I could not be moved.
Until the last beat of her heart I watched, I took part in her pain. I painstakingly saved the memory of each scream.
Until, finally, her eyes opened and shone red as blood.