I see I forgot to post a disclaimer the last time. Oops.

Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight
Of this I am sure you're aware
She's written much more than I'll ever,
But I know that I've got better hair!

Actually, I'm not quite sure about the hair thing... hers is pretty awesome.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Alice shrilled. Needless to say, she was excited. "Listen to this one!"

"Oh, no," groaned the normally tolerant Bella. "Not again."

Even Esme, who was sitting with Carlisle, gave a slight grimace. It was raining, and, shut up inside the house for the past two hours, Alice had been constantly telling a stream of idiotic, pointless jokes. Her favourites were the shaggy dog stories. After yet another story, the moral of which had been, 'two out of three people eat cornflakes for breakfast', and involving numerous pink characters situated in an extremely pink universe, Jasper had excused his excitable self from the joke shop, and gone to play with Emmett (whom he had managed to drag away from the excitement of commerce) and his green goo far away in the backyard, being careful of any mud puddles*. Bad Joke Fever was the last thing he wanted to project.

This had been an hour and forty-five minutes ago. Any 'Jasper effects' had long since disappeared for the others, and all that remained was the (extremely irritating) proof of Alice's susceptibility to her husband's emotional emanations. She also wouldn't allow anybody else to leave the room.

"Don't be silly, Bella!" said Alice. "I just know you'll love this one!"

"Will I?" Bella wanted to know under her breath.

Alice, of course, heard.

"Yes!" she said emphatically. "Listen, listen." The room rung with the sound of everyone's collective sighs. Alice ignored them.

"How can you get four suits for a dollar?"

"Gee, Alice, I don't know. How can you get four suits for a dollar?" Edward was sarcastic.

"Buy a deck of cards!" Alice lay back and howled with laughter. Nobody joined in.

Bella spoke up from across the room. "Actually, Alice, with inflation and all, I think you'll find it takes quite a bit more to buy a deck of cards…"

"Oh, Bella. It's just a—hey! Here's another one!"

"Here we go again," muttered Bella.

"Be strong, love, be strong." Edward spoke bravely (even though it was only Alice with her joke book), but Bella felt that she could take no more.

"Or, let's just slip quietly out of the room," said Bella so low only her boyfriend could hear (she was fast learning the skill from Edward).

"Oh no you don't!" said Alice. Bella looked up in alarm. "I can see what you're planning, remember? You're not going anywhere."

Bella and Edward, as one, heaved a sigh. Esme, taking pity on them, said to Alice, gently:

"Alice, dear, why don't you go find Emmett and Jasper, and show them your joke book. I'm sure Emmett especially would love to know that you're enjoying your book."

"Esme, that's a great idea!" Alice bounded out the back door at lightning speed, and the Cullen house was safe from bad jokes once more.
"That was a great idea." Bella spoke with feeling.

Esme smiled. "Thankyou, dear." Bella smiled back.

"Bella?" asked Edward, suddenly, struck by her beautiful brown eyes when she smiled.
"Yes?"

"Did you want to go for a walk now?" he looked down at her, overcome with love.

Bella shivered. "Yes, Edward," she said softly. "I'd like that."

"You might want to take your hat if you don't want to get your hair wet, Edward," interrupted someone tactlessly. Edward would have glared had that someone not been Carlisle. "It's still raining."

"Well, I'd better take my hat, then, hadn't I?" said Edward.

Bella giggled. "Not a saucepan, this time, then?"**

Edward would have glared at her, had he not been suddenly overcome with love as he looked into his girlfriend's brown eyes… those warm, beautiful brown eyes…

"Um, Edward?" The said Edward was jerked back to reality to find Bella staring at him with her brown eyes… He shook his head. There was a faint smile in those eyes that was utterly captivating. He didn't want to look away. But Bella was waiting for an answer. "Yes, love?"

"Are we going now?"

"Yes. Just let me get my…" he sped away, leaving Bella to fall down in his wake.

From the back garden, you could hear Alice saying, "What's prehistoric and ruins everything? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!" and Emmett falling about with laughter.

Needless to say, Jasper arrived back at the house very shortly after that. Esme and Carlisle left to investigate.

Oblivious to all else that was happening, Edward called to Bella from the third floor, "I'll be down soon, I just have to—hey. Where's my hat?"

*See Cullenmania: Mythical Madness
** See Cullenmania: Mythical Madness

Reviews = awesome, but I won't lie awake sobbing at night if I don't get a bajillion. So don't feel guilt-tripped. :)