Section V – Article IV: Concerning Guests and Best Behavior

1. All dwarves, hobbits and wizards are to be on their best behavior when they are guests in other peoples home (if you are in your own home, we could care less but we would prefer that you refrained from destroying our homes)

2. No dwarves are allowed to refuse the food that is put before and then raid the kitchens at a later time (Gandalf we know you helped them find the meat) THIS INCLUDES GREEN FOOD

3. No dwarves are allowed to stand on the table top, whether they are singing or just trying to get back to their seat (we were not amused when the table flipped over; Saruman is still plotting revenge for the pie that flew into his face)

4. No dishes, mugs or cutlery of any sort is to be tossed around to any song (we are aware of the fact that you have never missed, but we would rather be safe than sorry; Bilbo almost blew a blood vessel during the last incident)

5. No dwarves are allowed in the bathrooms UNLESS you have permission to be there (Bilbo was not happy with his plumbing)

6. Kili is not allowed to flirt with any of the serving elves in Rivendell during dinner (the males requested a transfer to Mirkwood after the last incident) and he is required to learn the how to tell male and female elves apart (besides specific body parts)

7. Thorin is not allowed to act all high and mighty when he is a guest at another person's home. We are aware that he is the Big Bad King Under the Mountain so there is no need to be so rude to his host

8. Gandalf is not allowed to bring uninvited guests; he has a known habit of doing this

9. Fili (as said in rule three) is NOT ALLOWED to stand on the table top for any reason (we will not help you when Saruman finds out it was your fault the table flipped)

10. Ori is not allowed to have ale while he is a guest in another person's home (it is scary to say the least, who knew that such power was hidden inside that little dwarf? That last one sounded like thunder! (This is another reasons we have said there are to be no burping contests))

11. We respectfully request that Nori return the silverware he stole. He is not allowed to take anymore and if it is not returned in due time, there will be no saving him from our wrath

12. Bifur is not allowed to eat the center piece (those flowers were Arwen's favorites too)

13. Bofur is not allowed to randomly break out into song (Lindir was scarred, to say the least, during the last incident and you fell off the table top into his arms)

14. Bombur is not allowed a fifth serving and we require his help in repairing the bench he broke (no one else feels like fitting all the pieces back together, it was his fault so it was unanimously voted that he would have to fix it)

15. No one is allowed to put ale in Oin's hearing trumpet (we would rather not have him spew the ale everywhere again)

16. Gloin is not allowed to drink ale unless he is alone or amongst other dwarves (no one enjoys seeing dried ale in his beard; I believe Lindir was sick the last time)

17. Dwalin is not allowed to rifle through a salad looking for meat EVEN IF he has washed his hands (the last time this happened, a poor elf accidentally ate one of his wristbands that fell off)

18. Every dwarf, hobbit and wizard must follow Balin's example when they are a guest in another's household, he actually behaves as a proper guest should

19. NO DWARVES are allowed to raid other's pantries and if they do this they must replenish the supply of food (we do not appreciate an empty pantry; LORD ELROND IS ONE GRUMPY ELF WHEN HE DOES NOT HAVE HIS MIDNIGHT SNACK)

A.N. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed / favorited / followed last chapter! I hope you like this chapter! :D READ AND REVIEW PLEASE