Chapter 4: Shinn, Meet Kira

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or Gundam Seed/Destiny. I only own Rayven and the other OCs for small parts of the plot I also own. If that makes sense. I have a headache. Ow.

Shinn's crimson eyes flew wide and he could only stare at the handsome young man before him. Now, Shinn Asuka wasn't an outright homosexual who went crazy over every guy he saw, it was quite the opposite. Athrun was a rightful exception, although Shinn was beginning to piece a few pieces of the puzzle together, because not only did he think that this man might be Athrun's lover, but he had to admit, he was sexy.

Kira was a little taller than Shinn, and he was smiling at them all pleasantly. He had a beautiful smile which accentuated his soft pink lips. His chocolate locks waved around his curved face in the breeze and his amethyst eyes sparkled with the sun, seeming to reflect the ocean to the side of them.

"Shinn, this is Kira; Kira, this is Shinn." Athrun introduced them and Shinn yet again had to snap out of a trance. Man, he's become real spacey since he started going out with Athrun.

"Nice to meet you." They said at the same time and shook each other's hands. Rayven seemed to also take an interest to Kira since she grinned and shook his hand as well. "I'm Rayven, Shinn's cousin." She said warmly. He smiled at her as well and nodded.

"Well, who wants to go swimming?" Athrun asked, unable to hide his excitement. Cagalli and Lacus weren't there because they knew Shinn would figure out Kira was actually his enemy and things would get pretty ugly.

"Ooo, I do!" Rayven replied and they chuckled and set their stuff down. "Come on, Shinn." Athrun said and smiled at him while pulling him to the ocean. Kira followed and flashed them a slightly jealous look, but it quickly disappeared.

Athrun dragged Shinn into the water and they ended up in a splash fight. Rayven joined in, splashing Shinn, while Kira resigned himself to watching. That is, until Athrun dragged him into it-literally.

They were all laughing and splashing each other, and then Athrun pulled Kira aside while Shinn and Rayven were splashing each other.

"So what do you think?" Athrun asked with a hopeful look. Kira took a moment to look Shinn over. "Well, he's cute. His smile is cute, and his laugh is cute. But I haven't seen this so-called 'fire' in him that you claim to." Kira finally said slyly.

"Oh you are naughty." Athrun replied with a grin and Kira blushed and grinned sheepishly. Athrun would have made out with him then and there but remembered Shinn was right there, especially when he splashed him in the face.

Athrun gasped and mock-glared and swam after him. Shinn squeaked cutely and swam away form him, being oddly playful.

"Gotcha!" Athrun said as he caught Shinn by the arm and pulled him close. The boy blushed at the closeness but didn't try to get away. He was actually smiling, enjoying the time away from the war. Athrun smiled as well and leaned in closer to him.

Shinn didn't resist, but the smile faltered slightly as he tensed. 'It's like he's not used to affection, hasn't his mom or dad ever hugged or kissed him? It's like he thinks I'm going to hurt him! I guess after they were killed he just didn't want to trust anyone.' Athrun thought and kissed Shinn slowly, casting a glance Kira's way.

When they parted Shinn smiled at him but didn't say anything. "Ooooo, hey now! Look at little Shinn getting his smooch on!" Rayven teased and Shinn turned red. He growled and chased after her while Athrun laughed.

Kira watched in what looked almost like horror as Shinn tried to drown Rayven and they got into a major water fight.

"See, a wildfire." Athrun whispered in Kira's ear. Kira jumped and Athrun chuckled. "Is he always like that when he gets angry? She was only teasing." Kira said and looked worriedly at them splashing each other.

Athrun smirked slightly. "Yeah, pretty much, I can't wait to see how he is in bed. You know what they say about rough sex." He purred into his ear again. "Athrun!" Kira whirled around, shocked, mortified, and…jealous?

Athrun was laughing so hard he didn't feel Shinn come up behind him and pull him under. He thrashed about in terror, thinking someone was trying to drown him, or something.

He gasped for air when he finally came back up, looking around for the attacker. It was when he saw Rayven and Kira laughing at him that he heard Shinn laughing too, his eyes closed and holding his stomach.

Athrun turned slowly around to glare at him until he stopped. "W-what? You've been doing it to me all day, about time I got you back." Shinn said. He squeaked when Athrun tackled him "playfully".

After some more splashing Shinn opened his eyes to be in Athrun's arms, unable to move or push himself away. His body instinctively went tense as he struggled to get out of the older boy's hold, but Athrun wouldn't let go, he only chuckled.

"A-Athrun, let go." Shinn stammered uneasily. He didn't like being cornered, he didn't like being restrained, he felt vulnerable, and he swore long ago that he'd never feel that way or be put in that situation ever again.

"Why?" the blue haired coordinator asked seductively with a wicked grin. "I-I, um," Shinn struggled some more against him, and Athrun began to look confused. "What's wrong?" he finally asked.

Shinn opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. 'No, not again, never again.' He thought and shook his head. "U-um, I'm hungry, let's go get some lunch." He suggested, his eyes pleading Athrun to let him go.

Athrun narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He's never seen Shinn like that, in fact, Shinn actually looked…scared. It seems that away from the war Shinn wasn't as tough as Athrun thought.

"Okay, fine." He finally replied and let the boy go. Shinn sighed in relief and swam faster than Athrun would've wanted back to shore.

"Hey, Shinn wants to go get lunch, let's go." Athrun told Rayven and Kira who were talking while Rayven was getting a little too friendly. Kira quickly swam away and Rayven followed.

Shinn was waiting for them impatiently, and seemed to avoid Athrun. They walked down the boardwalk, Kira was walking next to Athrun, Rayven was next to Kira, and Shinn was next to her, far away from Athrun.

'I'm definitely going to have a talk with him tonight.' He thought and frowned. Kira nudged him and smiled. Athrun half-smiled and continued frowning, looking at nothing in particular as he thought about what to say.

Kira actually frowned and nudged him harder, making Athrun snap out of his daydreaming to glare at his best friend and secret lover.

"What are you thinking?" Kira whispered, his gaze boring into Athrun. "Shinn's been acting strange lately and I wanna know why." Athrun confessed, staring at said boy who was laughing uneasily at something Rayven said.

"Oh, like how?" Kira asked quietly. "Well, I don't know how to explain it, one minute he's all on me, the next he's trying to get as far away form me as possible, he told me he's only been in one other relationship, and he's just real edgy around me sometimes. He totally changed the minute we stepped foot off the ship." Athrun told him.

"Oh, well, maybe something happened to him besides...um…" Kira said and looked away guiltily. "Hey, it was an accident, I'm sure he'd understand." Athrun said softly with a small smile. "For some reason, I don't think he will." Kira said distantly, glancing at Shinn cautiously.

Athrun's eyes softened. "Maybe something did happen to him, but whatever it is, I'm going to find out tonight." He said determinedly, green eyes suddenly turning fierce. "Just be careful, don't be too forceful, knowing you that's probably why he's like this, especially if something happened." Kira told him.

Athrun looked mock-hurt. "I'm not forceful!" he said. Kira gave him a look and before anyone could say something they entered a small café. Shinn and Rayven ordered some cheeseburgers, fries, and drinks; Athrun ordered a club sandwich and a soda, and Kira ordered a fruit smoothie with a side of fries.

Athrun took one glance at Kira's order and sighed. "What?" Kira asked. They were sitting in a booth, and Athrun managed to sit next to Shinn and Kira. Lucky him.

"No wonder you're so skinny, is that all you're going to eat?" Athrun asked. "Yeah, why?" Kira asked and chewed on a French fry. "Dang boy, at least I try to eat! Here, have some of my burger." Rayven told him and tore a meaty piece off.

"Uh, no thanks." Kira said as politely as he could while looking disgusted. Athrun smiled and tried not to chuckle at Rayven's confused expression.

"It's not going to bite, its really good, just try it. You're not a vegetarian are you?" she asked suspiciously. Athrun burst out laughing and Shinn looked from Athrun, to Kira, to his cousin.

Kira blanched and got paler, if possible. "Well, no, I just had a big breakfast and-," he began but was cut off by Athrun. "He doesn't like to eat meat because he thinks it's cruel to the cows."

Kira scowled at him while he chuckled some more and Shinn started laughing. Rayven shrugged and ate the piece she was holding out for him, moaning overdramatically.

Kira crossed his arms and glared at Athrun until he stopped and even after. "What? Eat your French fries and drink your fruit smoothie." Athrun commanded and Kira eventually did as he was told.

They talked and laughed a bit while they ate, and Athrun kept nudging Shinn with his leg, making the boy blush and glance at him. Kira was getting pretty jealous and Athrun was loving it.

"Okay boys, we should start heading back home, I have work tomorrow and it's about to rain." Rayven said after an hour. Shinn pouted and they walked back to their spot on the beach and packed their stuff up.

Before they left, Kira and Athrun both had the strange need to go to the restroom, so Rayven and Shinn waited until they returned.

With Kira and Athrun

"I had a really good time; hopefully we'll be able to see each other before we have to go back to the Minerva." Athrun told Kira as he held him close. "Yeah, we've all missed you, Athrun, why don't you come back with us?" Kira asked, his amethyst eyes pleading.

"I can't, Kira, you know that." Athrun told him. They had this conversation almost every time they talked. "But I miss you!" Kira whined. "Cagalli misses you, Lacus misses you; we all miss you!" he added.

Athrun sighed and brushed Kira's cheek. "I'll see you all soon, okay? One more kiss before I go." He said. Kira pouted and pulled Athrun forward, kissing him passionately and wrapping his leg around him tightly. Then suddenly he pushed him away and smirked seductively before walking away, swaying his hips because he knew Athrun was watching.

Athrun shook his head. 'He never ceases to amaze me, now to deal with Shinn.' He thought and composed himself before sauntering back to his current love interest and his cousin.

They drove home in silence, but Athrun took the time to think about how he should approach Shinn.

When they reached the apartment Rayven had a quick dinner and went to bed after taking a shower. That left Shinn and Athrun alone. Perfect.

"Hey Shinn, can I ask you something?" Athrun asked calmly after Rayven disappeared in her bedroom. Shinn was flipping through channels and replied, "What?" absently.

"I was just wondering, I know you said this was only your second relationship and all, but I can't help but thinking there's something more than that." Athrun said bluntly. He figured that there was no point in beating around the bush. Straight and to the point was how he liked it anyway.

Shinn didn't respond for so long that Athrun thought he didn't hear him, but then Shinn replied in a soft voice Athrun could barely hear him, "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Shinn you've totally changed. From being hot-head and arrogant you're edgy and shy, that's not like you. I'm just concerned." Athrun said worriedly, scooting closer to Shinn.

Shinn stopped flipping channels and looked straight at him. "Would you rather me go back to being cocky and resentful? You know, I was trying to be nice and calm, but no, I guess that's not good enough for you." He spat viciously.

Athrun looked shocked. For a moment he didn't know what to say as Shinn went back to flipping through channels.

"Shinn, that's not what I meant and you know it! I'm just confused as to why you're so edgy around me; I'm just trying to figure you out!" Athrun burst angrily. "Well maybe I don't wanna be figured out Athrun, have you ever thought of that!? Maybe I don't want to remember anything that happened in my past because it hurts too much, have you ever thought of that!?" Shinn yelled, standing up, on the verge of tears.

Unfortunately, Athrun wasn't feeling sympathetic at the moment, quite the opposite really. He stood too and shouted, "Oh really? Have you ever thought that maybe there's hundreds of other people that feel the same way, that maybe I feel that way!? Here's a heads up, Shinn, you're not the only one with problems!"

Shinn growled and threw the remote across the room. "Screw you Zala!" he yelled. Athrun went to the dark side after that. (A/N: Sounds kinda funny eh? Maybe? Not really? I'll shut up now.)

He pinned Shinn against the wall, slamming his arms above his head and spreading his legs with his own and holding them there. Shinn gasped at Athrun's reaction, and his eyes widened at his words.

"Maybe you will." Athrun said darkly and kissed him roughly. He felt Shinn freeze. His muscle's tensed and he didn't resist Athrun's tongue from sliding inside his mouth. He could feel Shinn's heart beat out of control and heard his breathing grow sharper and heavier.

And he liked it.

He experimentally slid one hand down Shinn's arm and onto his chest, Shinn's own hand didn't move. Athrun deepened the kiss and Shinn gasped as his hands roamed and prodded him.

Athrun grinned as he slid his hand underneath Shinn's shirt and heard the boy whimper and shudder at his touch. He enjoyed taking advantage of him, but some part of him knew it was wrong.

He slid his tongue out of Shinn's mouth and stared into his eyes. The eyes that were supposed to be intimidating were frightened; frozen in terror. Athrun brushed his lips against Shinn's cheek and down his neck, nibbling.

Shinn closed his eyes and whimpered some more. Athrun's hands were reaching for his belt, and Shinn couldn't move, literally.

'Why is he doing this? I thought I could trust him.' He thought. A tear rolled down his face, unbidden.

Athrun snapped out of it then and stepped back. A second passed before Shinn crumpled to the floor. Athrun gasped and kneeled down next to him. "Sh-Shinn, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. I'm so sorry, Shinn, are you okay?" he said.

"Clearly he's not." Rayven said rather coldly from behind him. Her arms were crossed and she was glaring at him with pure hatred.

Athrun opened his mouth but Rayven stopped him. "Don't, just go." She said and pointed to the guest room. He stood and glanced one last time at Shinn before trudging into the room and slumping onto the bed.

Rayven sighed and went to Shinn, who was still frozen in shock and fear. "Shinn sweety, you're okay now. Did he hurt you?" she asked and stroked his cheek. Shinn gulped and shook his head without blinking.

"Hey, it's okay now, relax." she whispered and rubbed his limp arms. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and when he opened them he seemed normal.

"There's my Shinn." She said, but he shook her hand away and got up, looking at the door of the guest room Athrun was in. "Shinn, he doesn't know, and I'm sure he's sorry for what he did. As always, you seem to push people to the edge because of your stubbornness." She said surprisingly.

Normally Athrun would be kicked out immediately, but Rayven knew he was really a good guy and was just angry at Shinn. She wanted to give him a second chance, and give Shinn a second chance; a chance she probably wouldn't get in a while.

Shinn thought this and she seemed to read his mind. "I just want you to be happy Shinn, and I think if you just give him a chance he could make you happy. I know what he did was wrong, but I truly believe he had no intention of hurting you. Go sleep in my room, I'll talk to him, okay?" she told him.

He nodded and walked slowly to her room, he stopped at the doorframe and looked back at her sadly, and she nodded her head and tried to smile. He looked so sad it hurt, and he disappeared into her room.

She sighed again and marched into the other room. Athrun was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. She leaned against the doorframe until he noticed she was there.

"Look, I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened." He said and stood up. "You're right, you don't." she said. His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to ask what she meant when she said, "Sit down." and he did.

She went farther into the room and sat next to him. "When Shinn was younger there was a child molestor loose in the neighborhood. Aunt Clarice tried to keep him inside, but Shinn wanted to play outside with his friends." She began as she remembered the day like it was yesterday.

-Flashback-

"I wanna play with my friends!" Shinn pouted. Clarice sighed, "Okay okay, just be careful, don't talk to strangers and be home by dinner." She said. He raced out the door right after she said "okay".

She watched him play soccer with a few of the boys, but then the buzzer went off in the kitchen and she bustled about getting ready for supper.

After cleaning the house and preparing the chicken for the night, it was dark outside, and Shinn hadn't come home. Clarice was worried and went to the door. What she saw almost made her faint.

Shinn was outside, but not alone, a man had him pinned to the ground, ravaging him for the whole world to see.

-End Flashback-

"I can still hear his screams." Rayven said as tears flowed down her cheeks. "I raced to mom's room and got the baseball bat, and before she could stop me I ran out there and bashed the man's head in a few times until the cops finally came. We sent Shinn to therapy, but it wouldn't work. He wouldn't talk to anyone but us, and he barely talked to us.

"We sent him back to his house early, but soon after he got over it and returned to normal. I don't know what happened, but he never talked about it again, he acted as if nothing happened. In fact, when he got in high school he took it upon himself to find out how it really feels, you know, how it's supposed to feel.

"He never had girlfriends, per say, he had one-night-stands." She told him and he cursed himself for even touching the boy.

"But as you figured, he tenses up when he's cornered or pinned, he doesn't like being held down or restrained, I guess it triggers the memory of that day and he totally freezes, just like he did when…" she trailed off and closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry; I honestly don't know why I acted like that. I guess I was just so angry because I was concerned about him; I was confused as to why he was acting so edgy and stuff around me. With everything going on, I guess I just lost control." He said.

"Well, I know you're a good guy Athrun, I just hope Shinn knows that, we're all we have. I want him to be happy for once, truly happy, like he was when he was little, before any of this happened. I think you could be the one, and I don't say that lightly. Besides, I think the reason he didn't jump on you like he normally would if he liked someone is that he really likes you, and he doesn't want you to be just a fun night." She told him and managed to smile.

"Thanks." He replied. "Should I talk to him?" he asked. "If he wants to talk." She said. He frowned. "He probably doesn't, he probably hates me." He said sadly. "At least try to talk to him." She advised and smiled again before leaving.

A few minutes later Shinn himself appeared at the doorway, looking small and vulnerable.

Definitely how he shouldn't look, Athrun thought.

Athrun stood quickly and opened his mouth to say something, but Shinn took a step back just as quickly. The look he gave him almost brought Athrun to tears.

"Shinn, I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I guess I just got out of control." He said softly. Shinn hesitated and quickly glanced around, before fully coming into the room cautiously.

He looked so scared and fragile; surely this wasn't the same Shinn who'd always boast about how strong he was, the same Shinn who would defy orders and practically beg for the consequences, the same Shinn whose red eyes intimidated even the most hardened veterans.

"Shinn, can you forgive me? We can forget about this night, and start over, I know I did a lot of things wrong; but I want to make things right." Athrun said. Shinn only moved forward, cautiously but determinedly, and hugged Athrun.

Athrun was surprised at his actions, but hugged him back anyways, closing his eyes and kissing the top of Shinn's head. He felt something wet and realized Shinn was crying.

Now that was just crazy. Shinn crying!? That was like Kira killing someone out of cold blood! But Athrun realized that with everything that's happened so far, Kira could in fact kill someone out of cold blood!

He gulped.

"Shhh, Shinn don't cry, I'm here, I'll protect you, I promise." Athrun whispered and rocked him back and forth. It felt so weird to say that to him, he remembered when Shinn was saying the same thing to Stellar when he snuck her onboard and took her to the infirmary.

Shinn must have thought it was weird too, because he looked up at him in surprise and actually cracked a smile.

"I never thought I'd say that to you, it's weird, huh?" Athrun said. "Yeah." Shinn chuckled and bit his lip. "I guess I overreacted, I'm sorry for making you feel so horrible." He added.

"What? I was the one who overreacted, and I'm sorry for making you feel so horrible." Athrun replied. Shinn smiled and nuzzled his neck. "No one's ever really cared about me like that except my family, it sounds nice to hear." He said almost bitterly with a pained smile.

Athrun stroked his cheek and smiled sadly at him. Shinn frowned, "What's the point of smiling if it's sad, smiles are meant to be happy." He said and Athrun chuckled. "You're right, will you smile for me?" he asked.

Shinn did, he blushed and smiled his beautiful smile and Athrun kissed him softly and held him the rest of the night.

-Author's Note: Is it just me or does Shinn get raped in every story I write about him??? I'm sorry if you guys are getting tired of it, there must be something wrong with my brain….O.o…..well, please review and tell me what you think, any ideas are welcome and I might be able to squeeze a few characters in here.-