Sweet child of mine chapter 4

Disclaimer I do not own supernatural or any of the characters.

This chapter did not go exactly where I wanted it to go. But it is a good lead into the next two chapters and we also get a glimpse into why Cas left heaven Please read review and enjoy

"So the question now is who has Sam? And how do we get him back?" Dean said looking at both of his angels and he knew with them both there was no way he could fail.

Dean couldn't believe it his Sammy was alive and even though he wasn't here like he should have been and even knowing more likely then not some evil son of a bitch had his baby brother. He couldn't help but smile because he knew he would get him back safe and well or die trying.

"Cas do you think he is any danger?" Dean asked looking into the angel's eyes. But when he looked up from the child he was gently rocking back to sleep. The smile on the angels face told him all he had to know and the tension he had been holding inside vanished.

"Not even a little Dean…He has all the powers of an angel and is as strong as the other me over there… He is virtually indestructible." Cas told him with a nod in the direction of the other angel.

Dean's Castiel was staring dangers through the other version of him, looking furious at what future Cas had just told them. And Dean just looked between them confused. Just what the hell was going on here? And what wasn't future boy telling them?

"So Sammy is as strong as you guys? Well hell that works in our favour, you two can break into to where ever the bad guys are holding my little brother and kick some ass with your angel Kung foo or some shit like that. And then all three of you can fight your way out together….Its sounds like a kick ass plan to me, and I don't even have to get my hands dirty." But Dean's Castiel just shook his head sadly.

"Erm Dean …I don't think that your plan will work. You think you have an angel army to break your brother out, But only one of us has all of our powers."

Dean was shocked how could only one of them have all their powers? He knew his Cas did as he had his grace fully restored after Sammy stopped the apocalypse. And was as tough as the day he dragged Dean out of hell. So just what in the hell was he talking about? They were both the same person weren't they? So both must have had their grace restored.

"Dean He is right only one of us does have all our powers and it isn't me… Did it not occur to you last night when it took so long for me to heal? Or why I didn't just appear in your room. Why I had to come to you for protection, when if I had my powers I could have fought off who's after me alone?"

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing… He had just found out Sam was alive and he thought he had two angels to fight at his side to help rescue his brother but now…

"How?" Dean asked as future Cas looked directly at his other self who shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other before locking eyes with him knowing exactly where this story was going. And he didn't want to be here when Dean found out how he fell.

He shouldn't know that kind of thing because if he could find a way to stop whatever it was before it happened then he would. And that would mess up everyone's future something that he wasn't willing to be held accountable for… No he had to get out of here as fast as possible.

"I must go Dean I do not wish to hear this" The angel told him as he prepared to leave. Dean could see that his Cas wanted to bolt but what he didn't get was why?

"If that's what you want Cas"

Dean told him not really knowing what his problem was. When he met his future self he wanted to know everything he had followed and pushed himself to find out as much information as he could to stop his bother before he even became Lucifer. But in the end he just saw this older self dead at the hands of his baby brother. Who knows it could help Cas remove that stick from up his ass that he had just had reinserted by the heavenly mafia. But it was the Angels choice. If he wanted to leave he could he just hoped that he would be back he couldn't get Sammy back alone but he would try it if he had to. He just nodded to Dean and was gone…

"Right spill Cas, what happened to all your angel juice?" Dean asked him when they were alone in the room once more.

"I broke the rules" Castiel told him as he placed baby Sam on the bed and started to pace the room. Dean was starting to get pissed as he watched the angel walking laps in the confined space of the room he just hoped that the angel was not just going to leave it like that with no more of an explanation… When he began to speak again.

"I never meant for any of it to happen…I had always tried to be so good and follow the rules our father laid out for us and at one point in time it would never have occurred to me to even question them. Not even when I rebelled to help you try and stop Sammy from releasing Lucifer. I killed my own brothers and sisters but I still believed that god in all his wisdom had a plan for me. And when I became human I hated how weak I had become, that I couldn't even help in the final battle I had my own free will then but I still had trouble going against my fathers will. He wanted my brothers to fight it out in that bone yard and I know now that he meant them both to die there… I had my doubts about the whole thing which is why I followed you there and why Bobby ended up wearing me. But then I had my grace restored and I was trapped again having to fall inline with all the other angel's and given orders to return to heaven. I didn't want to be that sheep anymore Dean but my father had heard my final prayer and restored my powers so I could heal two of the greatest men I had ever had the pleasure to fight alongside and I knew I had to be grateful to him for that. But he refused to help Sam and I was suspicious from that moment on."

Castiel had finally stopped pacing the room and sat down on the bed next to his son and ran a hand lovingly through the baby's hair.

"When I returned to heaven I fought so hard to forget everything I had learned from you and your bother about what it was to be human… but I couldn't And I became what you saw here today just an empty shell . I wasn't happy and I can tell you that neither is he, he may act like he is god's obedient servant again… But he is waiting for a chance to be free to really live his life" Castiel stopped and looked up towards heaven as he spoke again

"I tried so hard father so why did you forsake me? Why did you give me free will and then snatch it away? If you wanted me to be a good little solider why didn't you take all the emotions away that I had begun to feel and make me like I was before I met the Winchesters? I just don't understand… If you did not want me to fall in love then why did you let me feel it? Did you want me to fail you? Did you want me to fall again? Please just answer me…."

Castiel cried and it took all the strength Dean had not to walk over to the angel and hold him in his arms. He didn't know where all these feelings where coming from they were so unlike him. But he just wanted to hide his angel away from the world and protect him from a father that had so obviously miss treated the one and only truly good person Dean had ever known. But he couldn't do that .It wasn't his place and he had a kid brother to save so he did the next best thing and placed a hand on the angels shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You don't have to carry on Cas I understand." He told him hoping to end the angel's pain. He could not believe what those heavenly son's of bitches had done to him when his only crime had been to fall in love.

"No Dean I must tell you everything if you are to be able to help Sammy my child and I." he almost shouted at Dean so he just nodded and let the angel continue.

"I know when I left you that night in your car I never said goodbye and I wished I had it tortured me every day I was stuck up in heaven…I know you felt I had abandoned you when I left that night, but I promise you I didn't . I watched over you day and night and every time you became angry, cried or begged for me to come back to earth and help you it almost tore my heart in two and on more then occasion I almost did as you requested. But I had to play the ever dutiful son and know my place and I was told that place was in heaven. I should have come back to earth sooner I know that now…."

Castiel' eyes had become so misty he had to stop and take a calming deep breath, now would not be a good time to break down in font of the hunter.

"I was watched the whole time I was in heaven, and I knew that I couldn't step one foot out of line. I had rebelled once and I knew there where certain angel's just waiting for me to do it again. And I knew that there would be no more second chances if I disobeyed again I would be dead. There are not many things an angel is afraid of but that is one thing we all fear. When a human dies they get to move on to heaven to live in paradise but when an angel dies we are just gone. So I was going to fight all my new found emotions and guilt at leaving you on earth alone and do as my father ordered until Sammy called.

Tbc

Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter and hope you all leave a Review as it tells me I am doing something right or wrong. In the next chapter there will be some Cas and Sam and we may even get to know what Sam told Cas about the future to make the angel rethink his life in heaven.