After.
Chapter Four: Let loose
"Shepard," a low raspy voice greeted. Shepard's eyes fell upon a well-dressed Kaidan, who kindly smiled at her glance.
"Alenko," she formally responded, as he took a seat across from her at their small table in the corner.
"You look beautiful," he smiled, nodding slightly to her.
"You still have a space-mullet," she quickly countered, arms folded across her chest. The woman was already beginning to have second thoughts about meeting him.
'Relax, Shepard. Just see where things go,' she cautioned herself, taking a deep breath.
Kaidan laughed under his breath, before shaking his head.
"I'm glad you wanted to get drinks. I really fucked up on Horizon..." he scratched his neck, eyes dropping to the table.
Shepard made a motion at the bartender, who placed two drinks at the table
"Yeah, you did," her words were cold.
Kaidan flinched at her words as Shepard watched him. Her light brown eyes unkind and cold.
"Can I just say something?" he asked, lifting his eyes to meet hers.
"No one is stopping you."
"I saw you die."
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
"No...not what I meant. See, you were dead. I mourned you. I moved on. Then...you were back. Without a word. From my side, it was like you somehow survived then avoided me for two years. And you know what? That hurt. That hurt a lot. To mourn someone's death – then surprise. They're not dead. Just hiding from you."
"I wasn't hiding, Kaidan. I was dead."
"I know...it's been explained to me now. All of it."
"By who?" Shepard nursed her drink – her eyes watching him.
"Why does it matter?"
"It matters."
"Joker.
Shepard's eyes narrowed in thought, "When?"
"It was one of the times you were on Omega. You weren't here for long, but he let me know ahead of time where you were docking, and how he wanted to explain it all to me."
Her eyes slid over to Joker in the distance. He was clear across the Dark Star from them and with several crew. His broken leg was propped up on a chair – drink in his hand. They were all cheering and pointing at the bartender, who was now bowing to them. Even though the Dark Star had tried to clean up its act – it was still a nightclub. The music was just slightly classier and the clientele mostly dressed a bit nicer. Except for her crew, of course. They were all dressed in civvies – all more than a little casual.
Shepard's eyes returned to Kaidan – who had been watching her.
"Good to know," she finally replied, taking another sip of her drink.
"I'm sorry," he replied a bit too quickly, "I just didn't know. My mind didn't exactly make sense of the fact that Cerberus had the power to bring people back from the dead," he shrugged, stirring his drink, "I was stupid with my words."
"So what have you been up to?" she asked, asking for more drinks with the simple motion of her hand.
"Changing the subject, are we?"
"Yes."
"Well I'm a Spectre."
"Really?"
"Yeah – considering how much you did as a human Spectre, they decided having others wasn't a bad idea."
"I feel like a trend setter."
"You really are. I've been just fixing little things here and there. Catching a few terrorists and such. Generally keeping the galaxy at peace."
"Minus the Collectors."
"From my side, we barely knew about them."
"Human colonies were disappearing."
"We did look into it, but couldn't find much. Honestly our best leads were that Cerberus was doing it – as I told you on Horizon."
"Right. I guess it doesn't matter. Got it done without you," she smiled into her new drink – taking it down a bit too quickly.
"We all can't be heroes, Shepard."
"Really? Because every last person on the Normandy right now, I would consider a hero."
Kaidan simply watched her – a slight smile on his face, "I'm guessing there's a bunch of human base crew – because of Cerberus – then you gathered a bunch of random aliens along the way."
Shepard laughed, "It wouldn't be the Normandy if I didn't turn into a crazy cat lady of the alien sort."
"Joker accuse you of that again?"
"Almost daily."
"Who'd you get this time?"
"I got Garrus."
Kaidan's expression changed slightly.
"I got Tali."
He nodded slightly – as if expecting her to say the quarian's name.
"Had Liara for a bit. She's busy being the Shadow Broker now – though she helps whenever she can."
His eyes dropped, "So you had a good portion of the old crew back."
"Yeah. I couldn't get Wrex though. He's a clan leader now, you know."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I miss my mountain," she frowned, "But he's doing good. I have another Krogan now. He's a test-tube kid from some science-war-lord who wanted to breed the perfect Krogan. Little guy for a Krogan. Calls himself Grunt."
Kaidan smiled, "Something tells me he sees you like a mother."
"Battle-master. But basically, yes. I also have a Salarian named Mordin. Genius geneticist. Though he tried to give me the sex talk for the various alien boys I have on board," she frowned, taking a long drink after awhile.
"Get involved with any of them?"
"Nah," she shrugged, watching him over the edge of her drink, "I also have a Drell named Thane. He's a crazy assassin with a strange religious end to it."
"Drell always make me uncomfortable with their perfect memories. Good thing you didn't sleep with him, or he'd recount it to perfect detail to anyone who talks to him about you," Kaidan smiled, shaking his head and laughing slightly.
Shepard placed a hand quickly over her mouth to attempt to thwart any alcohol that wished to escape through her nose, "Holy shit that would be amazing."
"Especially when in the middle of a fight or while meeting an important person."
"If it all turned bad, I'd just blow him and start tripping balls," Shepard laughed fully, her body rocking and she shook her head.
"What the hell?" Kaidan asked, laughing just as hard as Shepard.
"Drell have skin like those frogs on Earth. There's a hallucinogenic property to them. Especially on their dong."
"Wow, Gaz."
"I know, right?"
"I'm surprised there isn't some counter-culture into licking them."
"I'm sure there is."
"Gah, I need to shower..."
Shepard laughed, shaking her head.
–
"DRINK!"
"No...I refuse," Patel whispered – head down on the table.
"It's the law, Patel," Donnelly fumbled over his words, "If there's no law – then it's all," he motioned with his hands, "just chaos."
"While that was deep, I'm cutting you off, Kenneth," Daniels smiled, taking the drink away from him.
"No! No, I'm fine!"
"Joker – back me up," Daniels stared at Joker with eyes he didn't dare disobey.
"Donnelly how many of me are there?"
"That's easy – four."
There was a beat of silence, as Patel disappeared to the bathroom.
"I should probably make sure she's okay," Gabby sighed, keeping Donnelly's drink out of his reach, as she slowly followed the doctor to the woman's restroom.
Dressed in a rather revealing dress, Kelly approached the table. The group had been watching the woman make her rounds of the men in the club, all night.
"Oh hi guys!" she smiled, sitting where Patel had only been moments ago.
"Kelly!" Donnelly called over.
"Kenneth!"
"Jerry!" Hadley called his own name, clearly irritated by both of them.
Joker silently glanced over at his Commander and Kaidan. At first they had appeared to be uncomfortable. Shepard flat out looked irritated. Now, however, they were both laughing. Perhaps it was the alcohol – or maybe they just really missed each other and just needed to get past the 'death' and 'Cerberus' details.
"How are you tonight, Joker?"
His eyes darted back to the table. Kelly stared at his leg – having the seat just beside his awkward leg-chair.
"It's always nice to get out and drink with friends."
"Aye," Donnelly agreed, patting Joker on the back a bit harder than he was comfortable with.
"How's the night been for you Kelly?" he asked, keeping his drink away from Kenneth, as he reached for it.
"A bit dull. The men here are all so..."
"Boring?" Donnelly guessed.
"Not into whores?" Jerry tried, receiving a death-glare from Kelly.
"Not in the mood to socialize with strangers?" Joker finally added, trying not to watch the progression of Shepard and Kaidan's meeting. Date? Whatever.
"Exactly," she slurred over the word slightly as Donnelly's omni-tool beeped at him.
"Bah – Patel is a messy drunk. I'm going to go help Gabby."
"I need to see this," Hadley smirked, leaving the table to follow without a second thought.
"Nah I'm good, I'll just sit here," Joker called after them, his tone bitter.
"Those assholes," Kelly frowned, before her eyes slid over to Joker, "Want to get out of here?"
"Sure."
Kelly carefully helped Joker to his feet, before leading the way out of the club. His crutches clinked carefully after her, as Shepard's encouragement to go after Kelly rang in the back of his mind.
Their trip was fairly quiet, minus a few bits of small-talk that were fairly mundane. She asked a lot about what Shepard was doing with Kaidan. Joker simply brushed it off as their Commander reconnecting with an old friend. Kelly smiled, shaking her head.
"That woman just got us through a suicide mission and saved the lives of all her crew. I think she deserves a nice lay."
Joker frowned. He never liked Kaidan and Shepard together...but if it made her happy.
"Maybe. He was the one on Horizon remember."
"Oh...that's right. He was so mean to her."
"Yeah – thus them getting drinks."
"Were they ever an...'item,'?" Kelly's voice resembled that of a teenage girl learning of new gossip, "When I asked Shepard about it, she was vague."
"You know when we defeated Saren and Sovereign in the battle of the Citadel?"
"Yeah?"
"Well basically the night before that, she slept with Kaidan. They sort of had a thing before it, but nothing they acted on. After that, they were a bit of an item – but only if you were looking for it. Then...she died."
Silence filled the rapid transit they were taking back to the ship.
"Oh...I had no idea."
"She's not a very open person about it."
"That makes sense...you're fairly close with her, aren't you?"
"I think she sees me like a pet."
Kelly giggled, revealing the amount of alcohol she had had that night, "Nah, I think you're her best friend. I mean...in the grand scheme of things, you're her most loyal friend. You were there when she met the Normandy SR-2. Not Garrus. Not Tali. Not even Chakwas. Especially not Kaidan."
The thought filtered through Joker's head for a few seconds, as the transit landed, and they began towards the Normandy.
They entered the ship, Kelly smirking at Joker over her shoulder, "Want to see something cool?"
"I guess. What is it?"
"You don't venture around the ship much, I assume?"
"No. Being a glass vase makes it not so appealing."
"Is your leg okay to move around a bit more?" her voice hopeful. Joker was honestly a bit worried where she would take him – but he didn't have much else to do.
"I'm fine. Where are we going?"
"Well first I want to change out of this damn dress," she fidgeted with the straps of the dress, causing her chest to move more than normal. Joker's eyes couldn't help but appreciate the movement. They reached the crew's sleeping quarters, and Kelly bolted straight for her locker. Joker remained at the door, leaning upon the frame. He knew the censor made the door want to close on him – but a secondary censor kept that from happening as long as he remained upon the threshold.
Kelly dug some more casual civvies out of her locker, before she reached for the back of her dress. Joker adverted his eyes by turning his back on the room. He heard Kelly giggle behind him, "Aren't you a gentleman, Joker."
"I'd like to think I am."
"Actually...I need help."
Joker narrowed his eyes, "What's wrong?"
"Zipper's stuck."
'Am I in a porno?' he wondered for the second time in recent history, shaking his head slightly, before he turned back toward the woman. The zipper on the back of her dress was down only a little. Her full lips were pouting at him. Yup, he was in a porno.
Heading toward the woman with a few swings of his crutches, he leaning his crutches on the bed beside Kelly, before leaning himself against them for support, as he reached both hands for the zipper on the back of her dress. It actually was stuck. With a few tugs, it finally moved easily.
"There ya go," he nodded, patting her back slightly. Her shoulder-blades were visible in the harsh light of the crew's quarters. They appeared pale – normal for someone who was in space for extended periods of time. She glanced over her shoulder at him, "Thanks!"
Kelly pulled the zipper down the rest of the way, and let the dress fall to her ankles.
She snorted as she reached for the dress by her ankles – apparently planning on catching it before it hit the ground, "Sorry – not exactly coordinated right now," she admitted, turning around as she stepped out of the dress. Her pale skin contrasted strongly with the lacy black underwear she had selected for the night. Joker fought to keep eye-contact, feeling incredibly awkward.
"Oh shit – let me get out of your way," he said a bit too quickly, before he reached for his crutches. Kelly gently grabbed his arm, "You're not in my way," she protested, now petting his arm slightly with her thumb.
"You're drunk," he added, his mind flashing back to the time she had pounced him on the bridge. It was all too similar – though she wasn't even half as drunk as she was that night.
"I've had like two drinks," she protested, her voice growing lower, as she took a step toward him, "There's a room I want to show you," she grabbed her clothing from the bed, and carefully slid it on, "It's a storage room that isn't used for storage..."
"What is it used for?" Joker asked, as she continued to watch him while putting on clothing.
"It can't be explained," she protested, sliding her hand into his, before handing him his crutches, and motioning him to follow her. Hesitantly, he followed her to the not-storage room, where she waited for him to enter, before she turned on the dim light. Crates ran along the edges of the room – but a decent sized bed lay just behind some of the crates – out of view of the main door. A couch sat opposite to the bed.
"It's a place to hang out away from people," Kelly smiled, as Joker studied both the bed and couch for stains, as he kept his distance.
"Why are we here, Kelly?" he asked, noticing her closing the gap between them. She rested both her arms on his shoulders, before wrapping them gently behind his neck, "Because, I've always had a thing for the snarky pilot," she smiled, studying his eyes as she spoke, "Because, Joker, you were my first thought when the Collectors had me," her voice was now soft – though a slight slur gave away her mild drunkness, "Because all night I realized I was trying to find someone like you."
Joker's heart pounding in his chest. He was almost certain she could hear it.
"I had no idea..." he finally found some words, "...you had such low expectations in men."
Kelly giggled against his chest – a bit too hard at the remark, "See? You're funny. Everyone else on the ship is so serious," she pouted again slightly, as Joker began to feel the alcohol to his his system a bit harder. He had remained coherent over the past few hours – but the last round was definitely taking a hit to his mental sharpness.
"Joker?" she asked, still hanging on him slightly.
"What is it Kelly?" he asked – the contact between them still feeling strange.
"Can I kiss you?"
His past relationships had been...pathetic. While being the breakable awkward kid in school, he managed to have a few female friends – but they always laughed when he tried to pursue more. In later years, he had gotten a kiss once or twice – but nothing more. Having Kelly ask just felt...surreal. Normally he was the one asking permission.
In response, he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against hers. A giggle from the back of Kelly's throat caused her lips to vibrate lightly, before she began to kiss him back. His mind ran in badly drawn circles as they kissed. He could taste the alcohol in her mouth – but he knew he probably tasted just as strongly.
Kelly pulled back from the kiss, and grabbed his hand – leading him towards the bed. His clouded mind didn't make sense of the action – so he simply followed through. Her next actions, however, caught him a bit off-guard. Kelly was already kissing him again – urging him to lie down as she did so. Her hands exploring his body, as her lips moved to his neck.
Drunk Kelly was awesome...thought drunk Joker.
She was careful of his leg and where she put pressure – apparently the alcohol wasn't knocking out of her memory of Joker's bone disease. For this, he was thankful...especially since in his current state of mind, it wasn't near the top of his thoughts.
Suddenly, her her hands slid to the top of his pants, causing Joker to gasp slightly at the unexpected movement. The woman eagerly undid the top of his pants, and pulled him over the top – carefully to avoid the zipper.
"What are you doing?" he asked, barely able to speak, as she began to stroke him. His hips rocked forward slightly at her touch. Eyes closed. This was new. And exciting.
"Oh...big boy," she purred, before backing off for a moment. Joker propped himself up on an elbow to see what she was up to. His mouth fell open as Kelly quickly shed her clothing back to her panty-clad state. Climbing on top of him, she carefully avoided his leg, and rubbed herself on his manhood. Joker gasped – her mouth opening into a wide smile at her reaction.
"May I?" she asked, reaching for the back of her bra.
Joker nodded, his mind numb. Other parts not. It was honestly hard to make sense of what was going on for the pilot. All he knew was that when he woke up from this dream, he'd probably have to clean himself up.
–
AN: WET DREAM REFERENCE AT THE END. Oh god what am I writing? Kelly/Joker everywhere. I actually had to rewrite this part several times. First time I wrote it...it felt uncomfortable. Almost a bit like she was forcing herself on him. I think it's better now. Hopefully. And YAY Shepard and Kaidan laughing! SPACE MULLET. Okay – Kaidan's hair has always bothered me. I love his voice – and the character has a strange place in my heart...but bro. Your hair. It's a mullet.
Rated M for: Language, sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.