FIVE MINUTES OF EXPLICITNESS
by an awesome blossom
This is a daydream, I swear.
Warnings for language, sex, CAPSLOCK, and general wtfery. Also written while I was significantly doped up on NyQuil. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is property of Nintendo and co.
"OH OH OH OH YES!!!!!!" STEPH-I mean Stephen(ie) moaned from the basement of Link's house as LINK FUCKED HIS ASS, MAN. They did it in the basement to hide from the prying eyes of Epona and Colin who liked to pry with their eyes. "FUCK ME BABY YEAH!!!!!!!"
"I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" Link cried out rapturously as he cummed geisers up Stephen(ie)'s undead ass which was really just pelvic bone and seriously what the fuck how was he even fucking him in the first place well anyway he pretty much shot his load on the floor.
"I FUCKING LOVE YOU, TOO," Stephan(ie) cried out with originality, and he cummed geisers as well.
"THIS IS FUCKING SWEET, MAN," EPONA WHINNIED F-er, from upstairs, and she, too, cummed geisers.
"DAMMIT EPONA YOU BETTER NOT HAVE RUINED MY CURTAINS."
Epona fled from the scene as that's exactly what she did.