Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of the characters.

As always; Enjoy!

Chapter 4

6 weeks later

Rey had begun to suspect that the force was accepting her change of heart when it came to saving Ben Solo. She could no longer think of him that way. The light that was in him before was barely even a spark anymore. He wasn't Ben Solo; she'd been a fool to think that he was. Kylo Ren was the real deal and Ben Solo had been the mask he'd been forced to don before Snoke came along and gave him the opportunity to be himself.

Rey tore her eyes away from the Holo projector as it showed Hux and his men slaughtering a group of wanna be rebels on a distant planet called Bleon 265. They landed on Leia, whose eyes were locked on the projection as if her life depended on it. Finn and Poe like Rey couldn't stand to see this again. It had been going on now for 2 months. Each time the screen came on to show Hux and his soldiers they were slaughtering innocents. More than half the number were barely out of childhood, though Hux didn't care about that. Kylo Ren didn't care about that.

Rey stormed out of the war room with no real place to go in mind. She just needed to be anywhere other than that room with those disturbing blue images playing over and over. She wanted to cry out to the Gods that this was all so unfair but knew from experience that cursing the Gods never did anything. The Gods didn't care obviously.

Before Rey knew it, she was outside walking toward the grove of fruit trees that led to the hut she had built as her own private sleeping quarters. It had taken very little time to construct thanks to the force and no one seemed to bother her when she was out this far. She'd made sure the hut was still inside of the force field but at the very edge with a small hot spring right behind it.

Only once she was inside the hut that she had modeled after the one she stayed in on Ahch-To did she truly allow herself to feel anything. First sadness and despair nearly choked her. She'd managed to bottle it all up but after the 16th execution she just couldn't any more. So many lives lost at the hands of that madman Hux. Anger and hatred burned brightly over her skin. Hux's death wouldn't end the madness but it would certainly put a damper on the First Order's plans.

Jedi weren't supposed to hate or want to kill but Hux was a monster of epic proportions and he needed to be stopped. For a moment, she let the idea of hoping in the Falcon and searching for Hux with the sole intent of killing him roll around in her mind. Then she shook her head. The thought made her feel icky, like she'd bathed in tar. Rey wondered if that was what it felt like to fall to the dark side; suffocated by the overwhelming darkness. If so she didn't see how Sith lords and dark Jedi lived so long. A creature like Snoke had to have been drowning in the darkness.

Was that what it was like for Kylo Ren? He might not have had the yellow, red rimmed irises of a Sith lord but he was definitely a dark Jedi. Did he feel like the darkness was attached to his skin, clogging his pores, steeping his whole essence in that evil? It seemed that he should. That being so dark would make one feel dirty but Rey figured after so long you just get used to it.

"Monsters get used to it," she reminded herself.

She couldn't believe she'd actually thought that he could be saved, that she could save him. She'd been a fool to think that Kylo Ren could ever be Ben Solo again. She'd offered him a chance to regain so much and all he'd done was spit in her face. The blood of hundreds of civilians was now on his hands.

She was very glad that she hadn't revealed the stupid force bond to Leia. What she would have thought of her once Hux started this madness? Would Leia and the others have assumed that she was working with Kylo Ren? Maybe, maybe not but Rey knew there was no way she could tell the others that she's been connected to him this whole time. They'd think she was the reason Ren and the First Order seemed to be growing ever nearer.

No, she would keep the secret of their bond until her grave. Hopefully the bond was closing and that was why it hadn't opened in almost 2 months. Suddenly she knew that was too good to be true.

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. There was a slight tingle at the back of her subconscious and she immediately knew what it was. The damn bond was not only still there but it was opening. She shook her head. This could not be happening.

Scavenger girl…

Rey refused to turn around. Maybe if she just ignored him he would go away. She began busying herself straightening things up around the hut. Kylo Ren's eyes followed her around the room. She could feel it.

The anger and hatred in her came boiling to the surface and when she swung around to face him, malice flashed in her hazel eyes. She was all set to rail at him but was stopped in her tracks at the sight before her.

The giant known as Kylo Ren was leaning against something, probably a wall. He was shirtless with only a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. His raven black tresses were longer than when she'd last seen him and were wet and clinging to his broad shoulders. Water from his hair ran down the sculpted planes of his chest and 6 pack before being absorbed by the towel.

See something you like, scavenger?

Rey shook her head as his words made her realize that she was staring. She quickly schooled her expression into one of intense hatred. His eyes had been trained on her from the moment the force had connected them, his expression was one of satisfied curiosity like a cat watching a bird after he'd just eaten a mouse. She called her quarter staff to her hand using the force and took a menacing step forward.

I see a monster that needs to be put down, she spat. Put down? Jedi don't talk like that, Kylo Ren reminded her. If putting you and your dog Hux down will help bring peace to the galaxy then I am willing to let myself fall to that darkness because I know my friends will stop at nothing to bring me back to the light. Your mother will stop at nothing to bring me back to them, Rey said trying to get a rise out of him.

Before her eyes his expression hardened. She instantly felt better. They were enemies and enemies should only hate or fear each other. There was no room for anything else.

You are fooling yourself if you think they'll do anything other than kill you or lock you up if you fall to the dark side. My mother may tell you that nothing could change how she feels about you but I am living proof that that isn't true. And you aren't even her child. She'll throw you away faster than you can say Millennium Falcon, he said with a smirk. She threw you away because she knew there was no saving you. You are rotten to the core! You claim to be following in Darth Vador's footsteps when you don't even know how or why he died. In the end Vador chose the light. He chose to die for those he cared about, she all but yelled at him.

Kylo took a step forward. Anger burned in those oh so dark brown eyes, making them flash black in the reddish sunlight filtering in from the windows of the hut. Rey wasn't afraid of him, though. Not anymore. She held her ground as he came to stand inches away from her.

MY grandfather chose death over living in the light. Don't let my mother twist the facts to make you feel better. She hates the fact that I'm just like her father. Maybe if that retched woman had spent some time with me or paid some attention to me, I would have stayed in the light but she had more important things than her son. They both did. You see them as surrogate parents, well they weren't good actual parents to me, so don't fool yourself into thinking that woman actually cares about you. You are her new hope, her last Jedi. She will use you to draw innocent people to the resistance and once she's gained her army, her allies, she'll no longer have need for you. She'll try and send you away like she did to me.

Rey felt her anger pop up a notch. How dare he talk about Leia like that? He had no right!

You send Hux out to murder those innocent people and you have the nerve to talk bad about Leia. You are a monster! You feel nothing; you care about nothing but darkness and power. You didn't deserve the parents you had! You didn't deserve the chance to be anything other than the ugly, rotten, evil thing you are. No wonder Leia and Han didn't love you; they could probably feel the ugliness inside you! You are incapable of loving or being loved. The darkness is the only thing left for something like you, she spat out.

Kylo was shaking with rage as he looked at her. Rey took a few steps back. If they were going to fight she needed to put some distance between them. She held her staff in her hands, ready to defend herself shall the need arise.

You talk about parents and their love like you would know. You're parents wanted you even less than mine wanted me. At least they sent me to my uncle. They didn't sell me into slavery. If your parents had loved you, little Rey, they wouldn't have given you to a man like Unkar Plutt. Don't tell me what a broken, unwanted thing I am, when you can't even admit to yourself that you are the same. Fucking Jedi and their holier than thou attitudes…

Rey felt the tears burn in her eyes. She refused to cry in front of Kylo Ren. Instead she held onto her anger. She used every bit of darkness in her to make the blow a killing one. She struck out with her staff but he caught it with the force and glared at her.

…

It was easy to catch the staff. She was practically screaming the fact that she was getting ready to attack through the force. Kylo glared down at the scavenger from Jakku.

It was hard to believe this was the same woman who'd offered him a home the last time they'd spoke. That had confused him and Kylo hated to be confused. He was used to be people fearing him, hating him, being angry with him, disappointed with him. Anything else was foreign to him.

He could handle the scavenger girl being angry. In fact he welcomed it. It helped cement the fact that they were no more than enemies. He reached out with the force and closed it around her throat.

Her legs kicked furiously as he choked her. His anger, his darkness was telling him to just end it all now. Even with her air flow cut off, she kept that damn staff in her hands. She glared at him even as her face went from red to purplish. She also wasn't fighting his hold.

Maybe she didn't believe that he would kill her. He would and wouldn't lose sleep over it. Or at least that's what he told himself, but with her there dangling in the air a few feet from him, he knew that he would miss her, miss this never ending cycle they seemed to be in. They would come together and be at peace for all of 5 seconds and then one of them would do something to piss off the other and they would be back to being enemies.

Kylo briefly wondered how long it would all go on before one killed the other. In the end he decided to let her go. She crumpled to the ground holding her throat, sputtering and coughing. Kylo looked down on her. As much as he wanted to finish her, he didn't.

You like to act like you are so good but I can see it in your eyes. You hate me enough to kill me. I won't have to corrupt you to bring to the dark side. You're doing that on your own. You were so worried what joining me would do to your light and now it's growing dimmer by your own hand. Next time you want to call someone a monster, just remember the first death is the hardest. Once you kill Hux to get to me, it'll already be too late, Kylo said.

He offered her his hand. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. She slapped his hand away and swept his legs out from under him. Kylo hit the ground with a thud and a grunt. As she went for her staff, he rolled backward and moved to get to his feet. The maneuver was awkward as he kept one hand on his towel. The last thing he wanted to do was flash the scavenger girl.

He went to stand and found her staff right under his chin. He stood upright as she pressed the metal of the staff into his throat hard enough that he knew there would be a mark later. He stared at her with defiant eyes as she backed him toward a wall he couldn't see.

Or I could just kill you. The resistance will take care of Hux, she said, her voice dripping venom. Without me around Hux will kill Maz Kanata. I've been keeping him busy but if I'm not there holding the leash your precious pirate queen will be the next execution broadcast across the galaxy, Kylo said and laughed.

The girl looked at him as though she didn't believe him. He shrugged. If his life ended there would be nothing holding Hux and the other high ranking officials of the First Order from burning everything to the ground just to wipe out the resistance.

You're lying to save your own skin, Rey insisted. Sure, keep telling yourself that. Hux off his leash is infinitely more dangerous than I am because he doesn't care about anything other than ruling eve if he's ruling over ashes. I however want to bring peace to the galaxy, Kylo insisted. Peace at the cost of thousands of lives isn't really worth anything. Besides the First Order is the reason for the discord we are all feeling.

Rey took her eyes off of him for barely a moment but that was all Kylo needed. He threw her staff across the room and pinned her to the wall with his actual hand around her throat. She let out a slight yip and Kylo knew that was the only sound she could make with his massive hand around her throat.

Foolish girl. Once you attempt to kill someone don't take your eyes off of them until they are dead.

Kylo shoved her into the wall hard enough to make his point. Rey wrapped her hands around his arm and tried to pull him off of her. He wasn't cutting her air off, just keeping her pinned to the wall. She dug her nails into his flesh and the white hot pain made him tighten his grip just a bit.

Being this close to her he got to study her features without her looking for a deeper meaning in his stare and he greedily ate up the sight of her. Her long brown hair was down for once and hung down to the middle of her back. Those normally wide hazel eyes were narrowed with hate and malice burning in them.

Kylo could tell that she really wanted to hurt him. That excited him more than it should have. He knew sparring with her would give him the best workout he'd ever had among other things but here in the confines of his refresher was not the time or the place.

He couldn't decide what to do with her so he did something neither of them expected. He pressed his lips to hers firmly, almost bruising the oh-so soft flesh. She was so shocked that she stopped clawing at his arm. He hadn't expected to enjoy the kiss. He just wanted to throw her off but now that he was touching her like this he didn't seem to want to stop and she wasn't exactly struggling to get away from him anymore.

He pulled away so that he could look into her eyes again. There was heat burning in them but it hadn't replaced her hate or fury. He looked down at her and a smirk pulled at his lips. She wanted him even though she claimed to hate him. He could feel it this It made him feel better to know she felt the same way he did.

He should have killed her instead of kissing her.

You're bleeding all over my clothes, she hissed.

Kylo looked down and was shocked to see that her nails had sliced his arm up bad enough that he was bleeding freely. Little drops of crimson decorated her grey shirt, the floor, his towel and his skin. He knew he would have new the scars to go with the ones across his face and chest. He chuckled and kissed her again quickly before letting her go and she didn't immediately launch at him.

You like marking me. Rey glared at him, You like the pain obviously.

The mood in the room had changed. They were both breathing hard but it wasn't from the fight. Kylo wondered if her heart was beating as fast as his. She was glaring at him from where he'd held her against the wall. Her small hand was rubbing her throat which had already begun to bruise.

Why did you kiss me, she asked? Why didn't you stop me?

Rey had the grace to look embarrassed. Kylo ran his fingers through his wet hair. Rey was watching him. He didn't want to know what that pain-in-the-ass Luke would have to say about this whole situation.

I should kill you for violating my personal space like that! You had no right, she yelled. And you were so busy being angry that you couldn't sense what I was about to do using the force. For someone so powerful you are such a novice, he said, disdain in his voice.

Rey's eyes narrowed again. He was beginning to like that look on her delicate face.

You can't just kiss someone because they aren't expecting it and then insult them, she insisted.

Kylo could tell that she was confused by what had just happened. It made him feel superior, in control.

You know, I am Supreme Leader of the First Order; I can do whatever I want. I can take whatever I want, he said, reminding her of when he'd had her strapped to the interrogation table. If you could, you would have taken Luke's location from my head. You would have turned me to your side. Hell, you would have killed Snoke long before I showed up, Rey countered and Kylo laughed. I could have ripped the information I needed from your head but it would have been excruciating for you. Is that what you would have preferred?

Rey's eyes dropped to the ground. Kylo could feel her answer through the force. She was glad that he didn't hurt her any more than necessary. Not that she could understand why he wouldn't want to hurt her. Back then they'd known almost nothing about each other.

You confuse the hell out of me, Kylo Ren, Rey said softly. As do you, scavenger girl, he said with a small smile. You know this little dance only ends one way, she said. I used to think that. Now I'm not so sure, Kylo said with a smirk.

Rey moved around him to retrieve her staff from the other side of the room. He watched her, not moving as though he was afraid that he would scare her off. She kept her eyes on him too.

"Kylo, come back to bed," a sultry female voice called from his sleeping quarters and he suppressed the scowl that was begging to take form on his expressive face.

The sound echoed through the force and he knew the moment Rey heard it. She looked thoroughly shocked. Her eyes roamed over his almost nude form and realization bloomed in them.

You'd be surprised at the number of women throwing themselves. It was bad enough when I was just Snoke's right hand. Now that I'm supreme leader I could have a different girl every night if it suited me, he bragged.

He was only telling her because he wanted to see her reaction. It was the one he was hoping for, too. Her anger came rushing back like a hot wind. She gripped her staff tightly.

Ugh, pig! How dare you kiss me with a woman waiting in your bed not 50 feet away, she demanded.

Kylo laughed. He could feel the bond closing off. He thought about remaining silent but had to get one last jab in.

I didn't expect you to be jealous but if you want to take her place, I'd send her away, he said and was pleased to see the shock that was etched into her lovely features as she disappeared.

He knew the next time they saw each other would be even more interesting now.