Alex's pov

I cried nonstop on the steps of the front porch. It was all so liberating and whatever it is I had been feeling all day long at school today, was leaving me now with every single tear I spilled.

The only thing that made me aware that time had passed was when I felt two warm arms embrace me.

"I think I forgot to give you the key" Frankie whispered apologetically. He was still wearing his traveling cloak so obviously he had just come.

I gave a strained laugh "I forgot all about that I kind of just broke down when I arrived and this is as far as I was able to make it" I croaked hugging him.

"That doesn't make me feel as guilty" he said, suddenly the ground beneath me disappeared and I didn't protest as Frankie carried me inside. I was too weak to protest. Besides the way he held me made me feel like a child and that is what I yearned to be. A child, there problems are never this big, children have it so easy, it makes me jealous sometimes.

"Pretty heavy huh?" I joked, if anything I got lighter these past few months. I wasn't even heavy to start off with.

"Humor me" he said chuckling

We got to my room and he laid me on the bed and that's the last I remember. All the crying had tired me.

I should have known however that, as tire as I might have been I wouldn't be able to get a decent nights sleep. I woke up at eleven pm due to my nightmares.

"Do I need a repeat of this every fucking night" I muttered angrily as I got off the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Of course I needed a repeat of it. I needed to feel that pain every night because I deserved that and much more.

I put on my sweats and a long sleeved shirt. I looked into the mirror and that I was back to having black hair and black eyes. I sighed and then headed out to my room. I took the guitar and strummed it. It was in tune, I headed outside to the small balcony the rail was made of stone so I sat on it. My feet dangled, I gave the guitar a few more strums until I created a tune.

The rest was easy it was just a matter of singing out my thoughts and that wasn't a challenge. I knew exactly what I was thinking.

(Sorry guys I'm not that creative so lets just pretend that this song is originally made by her remember this is fan fiction)

Love of mine

Someday you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding lights

Or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide

They both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

In catholic school

As vicious as roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised

By a lady in black

And I held my tongue

As she told me son

Fear is the heart of love

So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me

Have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes

Are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

But it's nothing to cry about

'Cause we'll hold each other soon

In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark

I gave the guitar one more strum and then looked up at the sky. It would probably rain later on. It was cold outside, but what was cold to me? It didn't make any difference, nothing made a difference in my life because I didn't have a life.

I was so tempted to go back and visit my memories with him but I was scared of the consequences I would have to pay later on.

"Give me sometime ced and then I'll follow you" I said looking at the woods

It began raining as I said this and I quickly got in to the room. I decided to finish the letter I had started in my biology class. Once I was done I ran out of things to do and that made me mad. I looked at the ceiling till it was time to get ready for school.

It would definitely become a routine changing my hair from black to red every day and my eyes from black t o green.

I walked into the kitchen and Frankie was there eating a p.b and j sandwich.

"Morning" I muttered as I got some cereal.

"Morning" he answered

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then I pulled out the letter from my bag.

"Frankie?" I began

"Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure" he was curious. That much was easy to tell.

"Could you get an owl to send this to Hogwarts for me?" I said handing him the letter

"Oh yeah…maybe I should get you an owl" I said more to himself than to me

"Its all right" I said he ignored this… I think.

"Tonight I start giving you classes, Alex, don't forget" oh yeah

"All right"

"And this weekend we are looking for a car for you"

"Frankie I know I'm not going to school right now but that doesn't mean I can go around spending the money in gringotts. Harry has to keep going to school you know?"

"I know I'm buying it" he said

"No you're not. You've done enough by letting me stay here"

"Alex if you're going to protest then be quiet" he said grinning

"Besides I can't drive yet I'm only fifteen"

"But everyone thinks you are sixteen and it won't be hard to get you a driver's license that says your seventeen"

"I don't know how to drive"

"You're not getting out of this one Alex. Being a muggle born paid off, I'll teach you"

"Damn you're good" I muttered and he laughed

"Now hurry I'm taking you to school today, it's raining "I dumped my untouched cereal to the sink and Frankie frowned.

He led me outside to the garage it was bigger in the inside than it looked in the outside and there was no doubt magic was behind all of this. He led me to the only car in there it was a black Honda fit.

We got inside and he started the car. Once we were out on the road I decided to talk.

"So your muggle born?"

"Yes, did you not know that?"

"No not really"

"Not surprised"

"Then don't ask" he laughed and I faked a smile.

Ah, if only we could all be like him, so happy.

"I never did ask you how was first day of school?" he said interested

"Okay I guess you know nothing big. People were much too friendly" that's the only thing that bothered me. Then I remembered my biology class.

"Do you know the Cullen's?"

He shook his head

"I'm pretty new here myself Alex"

"Oh"

"Why do you ask?"

"There's something odd about them, it's hard to believe their muggles"

"Like wizards?"

"No they just don't look like muggle that's all. And one of them he's in my biology class he acted all weird when he saw me. He didn't even sit down he came in saw me then walked out"

"Do you think they know about you?"

"Come on Frankie be realistic" he chuckled at that. We had already arrived he parked and I gathered my bag

"Oh well ill just have to endure the awkwardness" I said as I opened the door of the car

"Well good luck with that then"

"I'll need it"

"I know"

"So do I walk home or what?"

"No I'll pick you up I'll make sure you stay dry, I don't want you to shrink"

"You're killing me Frankie" I said sarcastically

"Be off now"

"Later then" I stepped out of the car and put up my hood.

I quickly made my way to the school. School droned on and I don't know how it is that I didn't notice that I had some classes with the other Cullen's. I had Spanish with Emmett. And Alice was in my trigonometry class.

I spent all lunch trying to listen to Erika and failing. She didn't seem to notice she was more like talking to herself though, maybe she wasn't so bad.

I dint give Edward Cullen much thought. It was only till biology class had started that I noticed he wasn't there. I found it very normal for me to not to notice something so obvious I never payed much attention anymore so it didn't surprise me that I hadn't noticed he wasn't there.

What was his problem?

That was the only thought I gave him…

He didn't go to school for the rest of the week…

That weekend Frankie introduced me to my new driver's license and my new car. It was a new silver Volvo s40 I loved it. On Sunday we both had a long day, he taught me how to drive the car it turned out fairly easy. I only crashed it two times and it only made a minor dent. Frankie fixed it with his wand and it was good as new.

It was the best day I've had in so long. And that is saying something; I liked it because I didn't think of any of my problems. It maintained me occupied, of course there's always a consequence because that night I didn't sleep for shit. And the next day was worst than the past few days.

On Tuesday I received a letter from harry, they were all doing somewhat good. The new defense against the dark arts teacher was Dolores umbridge that old thing that was at our hearing. Already I didn't like her though I found it funny how harry got in detention the first day of school, then I was angered when I found out the reason.

I wrote to him constantly telling him that nothing interesting was going on here, which was true. Over there however there were many things going on.

I found out how umbridge was not letting them use magic in her classes. Then how she became the high inquisitor and all that crap and now felt very important and all. Then came the news of Sturgis podmore a member of the order of the phoenix that was caught trying to go through a door at the ministry of magic and getting arrested. I first found out in the daily prophet I asked about it to Frankie but he didn't say much. Just that he couldn't talk about it. I couldn't really talk about it with harry either because the letters might be intercepted so we couldn't talk about anything o do with the order.

Then Ron had become keeper for the Gryffindor quidditch tem and harry had taken my place as seeker. Ron needed practice but I'm sure everything will turn out fine. I also talked to Sirius for a bit. He went and visited and he was kind of sad when he had to leave. I didn't have much to say but I enjoyed his company all the same.

In that first month I also went for the weekend to be evaluated. I did well in all my classes. Frankie was a good teacher. Unfortunately I couldn't keep my mouth shut and landed myself in detention with umbridge. I argued with her over something I said and she wouldn't have that. So that Saturday I joined her in her scary kitten filled office and had my hand split open while I wrote lines and had my blood be used as ink. It wasn't pleasant and I would have to do it the next time I went…and the next…and the next …

I would go once a moth so yeah…

Then I don't know how it was but Hermione told us in that weekend that we needed a real teacher that would teach us to defend ourselves, And specially now with the whole voldemort situation. Then she thought that harry and I would be perfect for the job. We argued with her but in the end told her we'd think about it. If we did decide to do it I would try and help every time I went.

It was just as hard as I thought it would be, being back at Hogwarts. I was more gloomy than usual. I got paler and barely ate in those two days. It was maybe even harder than I had expected it. I didn't sleep at all I probably scared many people I looked like the walking dead. It affected me more than it should have and it wasn't ignored the next day at school.

"You look like hell Alex" commented Erika at lunch

"Thanks I love hearing that" I said sarcastically but the annoyance and irritation was evident in my face and tone.

She said nothing to this. I wasn't in my best mood. My visit to Hogwarts made me more depressed and more irritable with these muggles.

"What's wrong al?" asked Jason

The nerve of this kid and my name is short enough without him giving me a nickname.

I glared at him and he dropped it.

"Hmm" said Melissa (another friend I guess you can call her) "Edward Cullen is back…why would he have left for a whole month?"

So I've been here for a month? Damn it seemed an eternity to me.

Great he's back

"He's back" squealed Erika

"Lovely" I muttered sarcastically.

For the rest of lunch I stabbed my pizza and drowned it in soda.

History passed by in a blur

I walked to biology in a rush wanting the day to end as soon as possible. I did that everyday but never did I forget that time was not my friend.

I walked into class, took out my notebook, textbook, pen, and began writing everything that came to my head in my notebook. After some seconds I heard someone clear there throats silently and only then did I realize that I wasn't sitting alone.

I looked to my left and up and was met by hard gold colored eyes. He had a pained face but still managed to look stunning

I looked back to my notebook and continued writing but he wouldn't let it go.

"Hello" he said in an attractive voice. I looked at him. He attempted to give a kind smile…I think…he didn't succeed "I'm Edward Cullen" he continued with effort.

"Melody potter" I said, he gave me a confused look and after a few seconds I realized my big mistake.

"I- I mean…Alex po- parker" damn "Alex parker" I clarified, "I- it… it's nothing" I looked away hoping he would drop it.

He did

We didn't talk for the rest of class. Only when we were instructed to do so did we talk. And it was just about biology. I was too absorbed in my own problems to give a care on what he did.

Though he never seemed to move

I jumped at the sound of the bell. Then I got up to gather my things when I noticed that the chair next to me was already empty.

Like I usually did everyday I I ran towards my car. It kept people from catching up to me and talking to me.

I headed towards my car so fast that I didn't have time to stop when a car door opened and I crashed into it. The force of the crash made me tumble to the floor. My head hit against the hard concrete.

"Oww shit" I muttered my rubbing my head.

"I'm sorry" muttered an attractive low voice.

Well just my luck

I looked up and saw Edward who's was trying hard not to laugh. As funny as he may have thought it was he remained tense.

He gave me his hand to help me up. I ignored it and got up on my own, my head was throbbing and I could almost feel a lump growing. I know I was being rude but I was already irritable enough and crashing into his car door wasn't making it any better. I have to admit it must have looked funny.

"Are you all right?" he asked

"Does crashing into car doors seem alright to you?" I all but barked at him.

No answer

I groaned, "Well I'm standing right? So I'm fine"

Only then did I realize that I had been heading to the passengers side of the car. And that is why I crashed…

"Are you sure" I glared at him and he nodded understanding I wouldn't answer that.

"I'll take it as a yes" he muttered

I started to walk away

"What's her problem" he muttered

I turned around. The tears I had held back all weekend long now threatening to spill.

"You wouldn't understand" I hissed

He seemed surprised that I had heard him but he still answered.

"I've got greater problems?" he said dangerously.

A growl escaped my lips. I couldn't help it but I kind of got it into my system after I was turned into a half vampire. He looked taken aback by he sound that protruded from me. Then his eyes widened and I had no idea why. It was my cue to leave.

"How did you-"he didn't finish or I didn't let him because I hurried to the other side of the car and got into the passengers side quickly. One glance at the rearview mirror and I realized why he looked so shocked. Not only had I growled but my eyes were a striking red.

Oh my ********

This is not good, not good at all.

Now I definitely don't want to get on his bad side. Just to be safe that he might not tell. Then of course no one would believe him.

I lowered the passenger window and called out his name.

"Edward" he slowly made his way towards the car

I closed my eyes as he leaned down to look at me.

"What" he snapped, can't say I don't deserve that

"I'm sorry for being rude" the words weren't convincing for I wasn't sorry at all.

He didn't say anything

"Can you move so I can leave?" I said trying to sound polite.

I opened my eyes just one bit to check if he had moved. But he was still there staring at me as if I caused him pain.

"I really don't want to run you over, it's the last thing I need." He moved back and I pulled away, heading to Frankie's house.

What took me over the edge?

The fact that Edward thought he could understand my problems, the fact that he thought that he had greater problems than I did. Well what does he know? A stupid rich boy that's never had to work for anything, who doesn't know anything about life. Sure he lost his family but he was adopted by someone that at least loves him. He hasn't lost someone so special to him that he's wanted to kill himself. He doesn't know what it's like to be me!

Now what could he know about life! He hasn't experienced it like I have

These thoughts raged inside of me and it became to much. I had to pull over because everything started swimming out of view as my eyes pooled with tears. I began crying and the tears streamed down my cheeks. I rested my head on the wheel of the car.

Someone tapped on my window I looked up and saw Edward.

"You again? Go away" I growled, not giving a care anymore. He wouldn't let it go he tapped on my window again. I hissed but lowered the automatic window.

"Do you need help going home?" Are you serious?

"No I need you to go away!" I sobbed

I should have locked the doors

My door was suddenly opened and I was pulled out of the car. It was done without effort. I was so light now.

"Leave me alone" I whispered

"Sorry but not in the state you at" said a different voice, though it was still equally attractive.

He steered me to the other side of the car and got me into the passenger's seat and put on my seatbelt.

My eyes were closed but I heard the quiet purr of my car as it was brought to life. I rested my head against the window and then opened my eyes. I looked out the window; we were going much faster than I would have dared to go.

"So do you usually break down like this?" said the voice, he made the question sound so casual. I turned and saw Emmett at the wheel of the car.

I nodded and sobbed quietly. The tears were starting to stop but they would run out again once I was alone.

"I'm Emmett" he said

"Alex"

"So don't you get tired of crying?"

"Do you think I like crying?"

"I just don't think a girl like you should cry, its not fair"

"Nothing in life is right"

"Strong words-true- but strong all the same not many people your age think that way"

"My age" how old was he then?

"And mines" he amended. That sounds more like it.

"That's because they don't know what life is really like"

"And you do?"

No answer

We arrived to the house and he began pulling into the garage.

"I won't ask how you knew where I live"

He laughed

"And I won't tell you that this is a pretty small town."

"True"

I didn't feel any better but right now the smart thing to do was to pretend.

Someone opened my door and unbuckled me. I got my schoolbag and stepped outside. It was Edward.

"Sweet ride" said Emmett eyeing Frankie's black Honda fit.

"It's my brothers" I said

"He's not working today" asked Edward he sounded curious

"No" I lied

They looked at each other doubtfully both frowning

"Thanks" I said to the both of them

"Will you be fine" his tone made it sound like he could care less. Why couldn't other people sound like that when they asked me the same question?

"Yeah" I headed to the garage door I stopped and turned to look at them. They hadn't moved they were staring at each other as if they were trying to silently communicate with each other. They noticed me watching them and they instantly followed me out.

It was beginning to rain outside. I noticed their Audi parked on the curve of the sidewalk.

"You got a nice ride yourself" I commented trying to sound casual. I was desperate to go into the house.

"Its Edwards" said Emmett I nodded. I looked up just as a white owl flew to the back of the house. It was Hedwig I was sure of it.

"Well thanks, again for…helping me"

"See you" said Emmett and Edward shot him an angry look

"Yeah" I said I headed to the house and quickly got in. I ran to my room as soon as I closed the font door

I entered the room and sure enough Hedwig was outside pecking the French doors. I opened one door and she flew into the room. She wasn't carrying anything.

Well what brings you over here precious" I murmured as she settled herself on my shoulder. I stroked her head as she nibbled affectionately on my ear.

"Fighting with harry?"

She hooted sadly

"Don't worry, he'll come around. Give him a rest the boy's got a lot on his plate right now?"

She hooted agreeing

I knew I couldn't escape the tears or the pain that began to slowly engulf me.

Hedwig gave me company while I broke down again. She was the best company ever. You see, she never talked-naturally- not even hoot. She just sat on my shoulder and rubbed her feathery head against my cheek soothingly.

I didn't eat anything that day. And Frankie didn't try to make me eat, for which I was grateful.

Hedwig stayed awake with me till I cried myself to sleep. She woke me up early in the morning nibbled on my ear and left. She had to go make amend \s with harry.

My night had been horrible and I was exhausted.

I didn't go to school that day. Seeing as how I didn't do homework I might as well stay

What would await me on Wednesday?

kay so im glad i just finished this chapter.

uhm so yeah please review

tell me if you have any questions kay

and yes hope you enjoyed this chapter

-kairi