BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN
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PART ONE

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'Nothing is secret, everything's sacred
How it ought to be
Under the moonlight
On a clear night
On rooftops is where I want to be'

For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy

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CHAPTER THREE

As he lay in bed in the aftermath of the kiss, his mind whirred with the memory of her being close to him. The feeling of her hand in his, her fingers intertwined with his, and their hearts beating quickly almost in sync. The overwhelming rush of love he had for her in that moment had been breathtaking, and it was something that he hadn't known he needed. And for a long time, he felt all the pain and anguish that he felt build upon beneath the surface of his skin begin to melt away.

Their kiss had come to a natural end, and she had shyly left the room thus leaving him to his own thoughts and feelings. He knew by the way she came to his side after he pulled her back for one more kiss that she didn't want to leave, but she had to. Their composure had been knocked slightly at the transition in their relationship, and he understood that it had moved naturally and with ease.

He wondered what would have happened if she had stayed in the room with him, and whether it was a good idea for her to have left when she did. But his lips burned with the taste of her lips, and his mind continued to conjure up the image of her in front of him, like the ghost of that memory would forever live on in his mind and in the room.

He laid a hand upon his chest where his heart was beating abundantly, and a part of him was taken aback when he realised he'd slipped out of the bed and was opening the door to the room he was staying in. He allowed his bare feet to lead the way to her room as his mind continued to replay the kiss repeatedly, and though their kiss had been short and sweet, it had been enough for him to feel something. His entire body felt as though it was on fire every time he thought of her.

As Tommy closed the gap between himself and her room, he stopped as the floorboard creaked beneath his feet. But it seemed that the creak hadn't gone unnoticed and unheard as her door opened swiftly, her eyes rested upon him instantly, her chest heaving with exhilaration. He heard her breath hitch in her throat as he came to stand in front of her, his eyes boring into her once more.

"I hoped it would be you…" she whispered into the stillness that night offered. He brought his hand up to her face where he gently grazed his thumb against the apple of her cheek and feeling her shudder beneath his touch. They remained stood there for a few moments, before he felt her grab the hem of his shirt and pull him into the room gently. He closed the door behind him and allowed her to lead him into the room.

They stood in the candlelight, their eyes staring at each other intensely.

"I'm going to make love to you, Rose," he declared to her. "Have you ever made love to a man before?"

Rose shook her head quickly, her heart quickening its pace against her chest. She was so sure he could see her heart beating erratically in her chest. He nodded at her answer, and reached for her hand where he laid it on top of his heart that was beating just as wildly as hers.

"You make me feel alive, Rose…" his words faltered then, and he bowed his head. She moved her hand from his heart and allowed him to bury his face into her palm. She laid kisses upon his hair and forehead, allowing them to travel down to his cheeks and jaw, before they hesitated just above his own lips. She felt the warmth of his breath tickle her lips, and with a deep breath, she allowed their lips to meet once more.

Her hands reached up to his face where her fingers gently stroked his face as his hands moved to the back of her head keeping her there, though she wasn't going anywhere.

He felt the warmth of her hands move down the length of his arms before they began to unbutton his shirt. A shiver coursed through his body and he moved away from her, their kiss coming to an end. He watched as she unbuttoned his shirt, and when she had reached the last button, he laid his hands on hers thus stopping her. He couldn't remember the last time he had allowed his body to be bare of all material around another person. It had been a long time, and it was something that he had done unconsciously, the scars that now adorned his body causing him to feel inadequate.

Rose laid a gentle kiss upon his mouth once more before she undid the last button. She ran her hand gently upon his chest and stomach that she could see, but made no movement to take the shirt off him, sensing his hesitation. She still adorned the dress she had left work in, and it had been something she wanted to remove as soon as she had returned to her room after their first kiss, but she had found herself pacing across the floor.

She began to unbutton her dress slowly, aware of his intense stare upon her. She stripped out of the layers with shaky hands until she was in her undergarments. Tommy faltered then as he watched her stand before him, the coldness of night kissing her skin and causing goosebumps to spread across her skin. He instinctively closed the gap between them and pulling his shirt from his body. He allowed his bare chest to brush against hers as they stared into each other's eyes. Rose lifted her arms up, and he nodded, reaching down and allowing his fingers to graze against the softness of her thighs as he lifted her undergarment from her body until she stood in front of him naked and bare.

As he stripped himself of all clothing, every pretense fell.

And the façade they showed to the world melted away. Kisses that were once soft and hesitant now grew in intensity as their breathing and heartbeats became more erratic. Their bodies moved softly together as their skin was made of the finest silk. They explored each other's bodies as if they were exploring the finest artwork they had ever witnessed until the urgency of being even closer became paramount. As the fire burned within them, every nerve ending set alight with every hitch of breath and every moan that filled the dark room.

He kissed every inch of her body, feeling her shudder beneath his lips. And she kissed every scar that marked his body feeling the tension in his body ease.

And in those moments, with their eyes never wavering from each other, their souls connected, and all the pain, guilt and sadness melted away into the darkness, for they were together and that, for them, was everything.

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Blood soaked his clothes and marked his skin, tainting him. He felt his heart race rapidly against his chest and he wondered if he was ever going to make it out alive. He felt the heaviness of the gun in his hands as he cast his eyes across the battlefield. Bodies were strewn across the field, blood and dirt mixing with their tears as they stared unseeingly at the sky above them. Their chests were still, unmoving.

He felt the tears burn his eyes and roll down his cheeks, as he released the gasp from his throat. And it was then that he was them. His brothers laid amongst the others, blood seeping out of the countless bullet holes that covered their bodies. Their eyes were open and staring back at him, but they weren't truly looking at him.

He had failed them in ways that he had promised to protect them. He had known his brothers would die for him, and they had. He hadn't saved them, he had allowed them to die senselessly.

He dropped the gun beside him, and Tommy fell to his knees.

He jolted awake, his heart beating furiously against his chest. He sat up, the beads of sweat on his forehead rolling down his face. He gasped for breath. He reached his hands up to his face where he ran a hand through his short hair, his chest heaving in panic. He felt Rose reach for him in that moment as he focused on his irregular breathing, and after a moment, he allowed her to pull him close to her chest.

"They taunt me…" he whispered, his voice abruptly slicing through the darkness. "Every dream I have… I'm back there… and I don't know how I got there but I'm fighting a battle that…"

Tommy fell silent then, and he allowed himself to close his eyes against her bare bosom and listen to the sound of her heart as it soothed his panic. She remained quiet, allowing him the silence to speak when and if he wanted to.

"And Arthur and John are shot…" Tommy's voice was panicked at the thought of his brothers being hurt. "And I can't do anything to protect them because they're gone… just gone… like that…"

"Are the dreams all the same?" Rose asked, her voice full of sadness as she listened to Tommy recall his nightmare. She felt him shake his head against her chest.

"No," he said. "Some are, though. And some are different. But they all have the same ending…"

"What's that?" Rose asked, her voice hesitant.

Tommy remained silent for a moment before he took a deep breath. "I turn the gun on myself…"

Tommy felt her falter beneath him, and he closed his eyes knowing that it was hard to understood. It was even hard for him to understand his own actions in his dreams, and he would spend most of the day trying to comprehend them. His love for his brothers knew no bounds, and he would do anything for them. To live without them was almost unimaginable, and so he was able to see it from that instance despite it being hard to digest.

"But I wake up just before I do anything," Tommy continued. He felt Rose's hand turn his head to look at her, and it was in that moment that he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"You're not there anymore, Tommy," she whispered, her voice breaking. "And those dreams… they're not true…"

He found himself nodding sadly, as his eyes burned with tears.

"And the dreams we have aren't actual depictions of the events of war… but it's the replaying of our emotions that we felt in those moments that we remember," Rose continued sadly. "The fear that gripped us when faced with it, the helplessness we felt in our souls and the sadness we felt at coming home and leaving those men behind…"

They laid there in silence, with Tommy mulling over her words. She was right, all the dreams he had were based on the fear he felt. His brothers meant so much to him that the thought of them being taken away from him pained him more than he could ever explain to anyone. And though his brothers had returned home with him, neither one of them spoke about the troubles they faced daily, or the nightmares that waited for them in the shadows as soon as they were sleeping.

"Am I damaged?" he asked her, his voice hesitant.

"No," she whispered in response. "You just know how to survive, Tommy Shelby."

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He would come and visit her every week after that, travelling on the canals with Charlie taking him there and back on his weekly work visits to the city. He would bid goodbye to Charlie before making his way to the hospital where he would meet her from work, and they would stop off at the fish and chip shop before they would walk back to the house with their dinner wrapped in newspaper.

They would walk the streets of London as if the whole world was at their feet. They would go dancing and see shows at the theatre. They would eat around the table with Hettie pouring endless amounts of whiskey and rum into their glasses. And as Hettie would leave the room, her bed beckoning her after too many beverages, they would move to in front of the fire where they would read, talk, and pick up where their letters would stop. They would make love to each other as night descended upon them and when the sun would make an appearance beckoning a new day.

"I remember what you told me over there," Tommy said one evening as they laid in bed with each other, their clothes discarded on the floor. "And it's always stuck with me in here."

Tommy laid a hand on his heart.

"Oh yes?" Rose whispered. "What was it?"

"May we all be lucky and die twice," Tommy repeated the words she had told him in the moment he needed that reassurance. "I've never forgotten them…"

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked him. "We aren't the same people that first went over there."

"I think that's why I love you," he declared.

Rose's eyes widened then, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. "You love me?" she asked, to which he nodded.

"Aye," he whispered, his voice low enough for her to hear. "Never thought I'd be capable of loving someone but I know I love you."

Rose smiled tearfully at him. "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice faltering. She sat upright and shifted towards him, not caring if the sheets covered her body. She rested against his arm, enclosed between his arm and his bare chest. She placed her hands on either side of his face, and she felt as he wiped away the stray tear that fell with his free hand.

"I want to go back with you," she avowed. "To Small Heath…"

Tommy was taken aback. "Aye, it's a stark contrast to this, love."

"But it's your home," Rose whispered. "It made the person I love."

Tommy kissed her passionately then. "I'll take you back with me soon. We'll go back together."

Rose smiled widely at him. She settled down next to him, her head resting upon his chest. He stroked the length of her arm with his fingertips and felt the goosebumps rise to the surface of her skin.

"Just promise me one thing," Tommy began, after a moment. "When we get there… I don't want you to look at me differently."

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Author's Note: Wow! Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter! It means so much to know you're all enjoying it! All reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated!