Author's Note:
I want to thank each and every one of you again for your enthusiasm and interest in this story. I hope that if nothing else, this little fic encourages my amazing Glee fans to watch and fall in love with White Collar. And to my White Collar fans, take a glance at my other stories. Maybe I'll make you fall in love with Glee as well.
I do not own White Collar or Glee. But I would give anything to see Blaine walking around Neal's apartment in the next episode.
Neal stood in the funeral home with Burt and Carole talking with the funeral director about the service. He had told the Hummels that he hadn't needed them, but he was grateful for their presence. Both of them had experience with planning a loved one's funeral and they knew everything that needed to be done. It wasn't that he couldn't handle it himself, Neal Caffrey could handle anything. But the fact was, he didn't really know his parents that well and what he did know, he'd rather forget. Apparently, Burt and Carole felt otherwise. They certainly understood the difficulties that the Anderson boys had had with their parents, especially their father. But they had spent enough time with Blaine over the past year to discover the good things about their parents as well. Neal had trouble remembering.
He felt almost relieved when he was interrupted by a phone call he had been both expecting and dreading since his anklet was cut. He politely excused himself and found an empty room where he could talk in private.
The caller didn't even wait for him to speak before jumping on him. "What the hell are you doing in Ohio, Neal?
"Well, hello to you too, Moz," Neal chuckled. He never expected to get away for long without this conversation, but he knew exactly how it was going to go and he hadn't looked forward to it.
"Don't give me your schoolboy pleasantries, Neal. You doing a job out there without giving me a cut?" Mozzie accused. "After everything I've done for you?"
"Hadn't occurred to me you would want a cut of this job, Moz."
"What the hell is in Ohio Neal?" he bellowed for the second time, losing his patience.
Neal's breath hitched as he thought of Blaine. "Everything," he said wistfully.
Moz breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god! You're with a girl! A little celebration of freedom? Is it Sara? Did you take her to a little retreat, some spa, some dinner, some making love until the sun comes up. I'll admit, I had rather hoped you'd be celebrating with me, but it's ok, I totally understand."
"It's not a girl, Moz." Neal paused. He knew that Mozzie would hate the real reason. He didn't believe in ties to the past. But then again, Mozzie didn't have any ties. He didn't have parents or a brother or anyone else to give up the fast life for. "I'm here for a funeral."
"Neal," Mozzie warned.
"My parents were killed in a car crash Mozzie," he said, the anger building.
Mozzie was silent on the other end of the phone. Neal could imagine him, his brow furrowed and the sweat seeping from his pours as his friend panicked with the threat of exposure.
"Moz?"
"That's dangerous," Mozzie said, his anxiety evident.
"I have no choice Moz, it's my parents!" Neal began to explain.
"You always have a choice, Neal," the con man insisted. "It is the ability to choose that makes us human," he quoted in true Mozzie fashion.
"I have a baby brother, Moz," Neal cut him off quietly. Mozzie again was silent. Neal knew his friend wouldn't understand, but he hoped that he would accept it. "He's seventeen. He needs me now."
"There is nothing good that comes from ties, Neal," Mozzie finally said.
Neal considered Mozzie's words, and couldn't help but smile proudly. "You haven't met Blaine yet."
Blaine and Kurt stayed home from school the next day to go to the courthouse with Burt and Carole. Neal stayed behind. It wasn't just that he didn't like courthouses, though that was certainly part of it. But more importantly, he couldn't bear to watch someone else, a stranger to him, take responsibility for his brother when it should have been him.
He gave up a multi-billion dollar treasure for Peter. He wanted to believe he would give up his entire legacy for Blaine. Of course it wasn't that easy. Not even the best con men in the world can erase their pasts. He was learning that the hard way. If they went on the run, he could maybe do it. They could start over, start fresh. But that was no life for Blaine. It wasn't fair to his brother and it wasn't fair to himself. They both had lives in New York. He had Peter and Elizabeth, Mozzie and Sara. Blaine had Kurt and other friends that were heading to the city for college. And Blaine had a second family, taking on the job that Neal had so haphazardly thrown away in search of a life of power, riches and prestige. How could he possibly keep Blaine away from that?
It seemed worth so much less now. Giving up the life of Cooper Anderson had been the easiest thing in the world ten years ago. He wanted to think that he'd give up everything of Neal Caffrey's to get it all back, but it wasn't the truth. He was proud of the name he had made for himself, for the things he had accomplished, for being one of the best in the business. Mozzie was right. It was all about choices. And as always, he found it nearly impossible to choose.
But how could he possibly be both Neal Caffrey and Cooper Anderson at the same time?
Neal paced Carole's garden, the sun having just gone down. Everything had gone well at the hearing and Burt and Carole now officially had temporary guardianship of Blaine. It broke Neal's heart. Inside, he could see through the window Burt and Carole cleaning up the dinner dishes. He saw Blaine take Kurt's hand and lead him off to the living room where they were going to watch a movie. One big happy family. Neal had promised Blaine he would join them, but he needed a breather. He'd been going since the morning of his commutation hearing; testifying, the decision, the flight, seeing Blaine, the funeral home, Mozzie, the guardianship hearing. It was all piling up and he felt the noose tightening around his neck. He needed someone to cut it down.
He didn't need to search the numbers on the phone. He pressed the call button for her number and breathed the cold night air as he waited for her to answer.
"Neal," she exclaimed, slightly surprised that he would be calling her.
"Elizabeth. Is Peter there?" he asked, his heart racing.
"No, he's still at the office. He works longer without you around," she said lightly.
"Elizabeth, I don't know if I can do this." As soon as the words escaped his mouth, the tears rushed to his eyes and he pinched his nose to try and stop them as he collapsed onto the bench with the weight of the world on his shoulders. The phone in one hand, he pressed his head to the palm of his other hand perched on his lap and stared at the flowers beneath his feet.
"Shhh…." She comforted. "What don't you think you can do?"
"Everything. How on earth am I going to make sure Blaine is safe and cared for when I can't even legally be responsible for him? I blew it Elizabeth. With everything I've done, everything I've been able to just steal over the years, the only thing that truly matters is completely out of my reach." Neal took a deep breath. He hadn't lost control like this since Kate's death. He was always the calm and collected. But here and now, he was completely out of his element.
"Now listen here," Elizabeth scolded gently. "The Neal Caffrey I know can do anything he sets his mind to. If you can forge a pink diamond, steal the Antioch manuscripts using carrier pigeons, escape from a maximum security federal prison, help Peter solve 94% of his cases and save my life and Peter's life I don't even know how many times, you can most definitely manage to care for your 17 year old brother."
"That's the thing though Elizabeth. I traded him so that I could do all of those things. I put myself first for ten years, knowing in my heart how much that hurt him. How can I trust myself not to do it again?"
"I trust you, Neal." Elizabeth wasn't naïve. She knew that the power and thrill of the con was an addiction for Neal as surely as cocaine was to a drug addict. But she also knew that he had the willpower to put it aside when he needed to. She'd watched him develop that for the last two years. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but I know that you can do this. And Peter and I will be here to help you." She made a split second decision. "In fact, we're coming there to help you."
"What?" Neal snapped. "No, Elizabeth, thank you , but I don't want Peter here."
"You can't hide whatever you are hiding forever Neal. He's already started searching again for your history. He knows that Caffrey isn't your real last name. It would be much better if he heard the truth straight from you."
Neal sighed. He had wished it wasn't true, but he knew Peter well enough to have guessed all that without Elizabeth telling him.
"Where are you Neal?" she asked. "He'll figure it out even if you don't tell us, he has the entire FBI at his disposal."
He stood up and ran his hand through his hair, rubbing his neck as he thought. Peter would search and Peter would find him and Peter hated having to find things out on his own instead of from Neal. They were partners. They were friends. Peter had fought over and over again to keep him out of jail. Would he keep fighting if Neal kept him in the dark now?
"Peter cares about you," Elizabeth said, reading his mind. Peter loves you, she thought. "Let us help you."
"Okay," Neal conceded, believing immediately that it was a mistake. "Okay."
Neal stood at the gravesite, the coffins of his Mom and his Dad side by side, their headstones matching. He hadn't cried for them and didn't know if he ever would. They had never been there for him like he needed them to be. Maybe if they had been different, he would be different, but his Dad had made Neal the man he was today. Perhaps if it had been different he wouldn't be standing here, terrified of being found out, returning to jail, and losing Blaine. Maybe he wouldn't have missed the last ten years of Blaine's life. Maybe he would have been crying for the loss of them.
He held Blaine by the shoulders; shoulders that were shaking with the tears of a son who had lost a family, steadied only by Kurt's hand clasped in his. Neal knew Blaine had hard times. They had talked about how their father was never accepting of Blaine's sexuality. When he'd gotten out of prison and been able to speak to Blaine again, he learned how their father had been less than supportive after he'd been attacked at the Sadie Hawkins dance. He knew Blaine was sent to Dalton reluctantly, his mother afraid that her baby boy would turn out exactly like Cooper. Their parents had never taken responsibility for the choices their oldest son had made, though Neal was pretty certain that they should have.
At Burt's insistence, Neal had agreed to say a few words at the funeral. He was, after all, their oldest child and they all knew that Blaine would be in no shape to speak. As the Reverend called him up, Burt gave him a fatherly squeeze on the shoulder that momentarily startled Neal. Was he already such a part of the family?
Stepping between the two dug graves, Neal turned to address the mourners. It was a sizeable crowd, full of business associates, church friends, country club members, in addition to Blaine's friends and their families. As he scanned the crowd in front of him, he saw few faces he recognized, for which he was grateful. He wanted to avoid any unnecessary explanations.
"Good morning everyone. Thank you for coming. My parents would have been pleased to know so many people turned out to say goodbye. My name is…" Neal stopped. As he looked over the faces before him, he was drawn to one in particular, standing with his wife a ways back from the rest of the mourners. Peter stared back at Neal, waiting for the next words that had frozen on his tongue. Their eyes locked together, in a familiar battle of will and challenge. Time stopped as Neal's mind raced with options. He could just go on, continue with his speech without saying his name. Or he could risk everything and give Peter the information that he had been craving for at least eight years.
Blaine followed Cooper's gaze and turned toward the man in the suit, taking him in. He had no doubt in his mind it was Peter, the man he had heard so much about. To Blaine, Peter was the man responsible for turning his brother around and bringing him back to Blaine. Blaine's movement must have startled his brother away from Peter's gaze, because when he turned back, Cooper was staring at him. In Cooper's eyes, Blaine saw the question. Do I risk it all?
Everything between Neal and Peter came down to this moment. Blaine understood that. And he nodded his assent, knowing that gaining back his brother's name could mean losing him forever.
Neal turned back to the crowd. The choice had only taken a moment. How long would the consequences of it last?
"My name is Cooper Anderson. Many of you don't know me. For others, it's been a very long time. My parents did many things to push me out of their lives. But whatever they did wrong with me, they must have done something right with my brother Blaine. Blaine is everything that was good in my parents. He has my father's determination and my mother's empathy. Blaine's talent for diplomacy and charm rival my father's skill, just as his love of music rivals that of my mother. When his hazel eyes blaze just like my father's did," he smiled fondly at Blaine, "you know there is no changing his mind. His heart loves like my mother's and you know that no matter what you may do wrong, no matter how much distance you put between you and him, he will forever love you. My parents won't get to know the man he becomes," he paused as he fought back tears and his determined gaze fell back on Peter's, "but I refuse to miss another moment. I've made mistakes in my life. I have regrets. But this won't be one of them." He looked back to his baby brother. "Whatever it takes Blaine, I'm not leaving you again."
Author's Note:
Reviews are lovely!
I was going to submit this chapter for Klaine Week Day 2, but Neal took over. The next chapter will be Blaine's point of view of the events in this chapter and moving forward.