A/N: Again, sorry for the lengthy wait. Life is...stressful. Sorry for the short length of the chapters, but page requirements on college essays are like a stranglehold on my waking hours.

Paper, Rock, Scissors

Hillary E.G. Brown

(Various Other Usernames)

Chapter Four: Quiet Exit

Nothing soured the joy of a home-cooked meal quite like the knowledge that the purple tinge to your grandfather's face was the result of any number of nasty plots to kill your boyfriend.

Not that any of them would work, but she'd really rather not have to pry her elderly patriarch off of her boyfriend's face claw by claw.

Heavens only knew how long ago the man had cleaned under his fingernails.

Her mother had been working valiantly to keep up a warm and somewhat neutral line of conversation, but really, the man was a demon, complete with a bizarre color scheme, pointy little fangs, and facial markings.

He was also, apparently, completely oblivious to his numerous and rather gruesome deaths playing in stereo in the cinema of her grandfather's vivid imagination. That, or he was just trying to piss him off by shooting him those broad, cheery grins across the table.

Kagome didn't like how the old priest was gripping his fork.

She turned her head, just slightly, prepared to issue some sort of warning under her breath, but she paused at the feeling of his knee leaning in to hers. A broad hand came to rest on her lap, index finger tapping gently just above the kneecap before his thumb soothed a soft circle into the pattern.

She couldn't help but laugh a little when she caught him humming.

Now gather round you fellows and if you'll be still
I'll tell you of a bastard born at Bellevue Hill,
Born at Boswell Hill, but raised in Camberwell,
And the first three words he uttered were "Bloody Fucking Hell".

Hell with it.

Her hand found a similar placement, farther up his thigh, and squeezed.

She cut back a grin when he gave a little start before shifting in his his chair.

"Mama, I'd like to take Chu for a tour, if that's all right."

"Of course, dear." Kahoko smiled sweetly as her daughter rose, removing her hand from a decidedly suggestive place on her new boyfriend's thigh. Her gaze snapped quickly to her younger child as Souta made to join them. "Ah. Souta, would you mind taking your sister's plate in? I could use the extra hands in the kitchen, and you know how grandpa is."

Souta couldn't quite understand the point.

The only thing grandpa was at the moment was purple, but that didn't mean a thing about his dish-drying capabilities. Not really.

He made as if to protest when his mother cut him off, tone insistent, "You can tell me all about soccer practice. Or do you have homework?"

Souta sighed, shuffling off to do as he was asked as his sister made off with the newest superhero.

"Now, Kahoko—."

"Your mouth is moving but all I'm hearing is 'soft food diet, soft food diet'."

Grandpa Higurashi felt it wise to remain silent.

"Pretty eaga' t'get outta theh, weren'tcha?" She looked back over her shoulder, smiling a little when she caught his grin and turned to meet him halfway as he caught up.

"I thought I would do you a favor, since you've been so accommodating."

"A fava'? Yer old man was jus' stahtin' t'warm up to me."

"If by 'warm up' you mean 'slip strychnine into your dessert', then absolutely, grandpa's sure hot on you."

A low chuckle in his chest—the sort of deep, rumbling vibration she was quickly growing to love—and he rested those big hands on her waist, looking down at her with a genial smile on his face.

"If yer mum cooked it, I don't think I'd mind."

She snorted, "Flirt."

The smile expanded into a grin, "Yeah. Gonna give me a tour, are ya?"

"Anh," She shrugged, pressing closer and looking up coyly, "I kind of wanted dessert."

"No kiddin'?" His eyebrows arched up, his interest plain as day.

"Serious as a heart attack." She nearly purred into his ear before moving away, just slightly, and brightening up, "I want ice cream."

"Eh—whot th—c'mere!"

She laughed, not minding a single bit as he hoisted her up into his arms, stopping just short of lugging her over his shoulder. This way, she was nearly propped up against his shoulder, looking down into darkening, but ever mirtful blue eyes.

"That ain't fightin' fair."

"I guess I could wait on the ice cream."

A/N: Teeeeeeease. If anyone wouldn't mind sketching up art for this, I'd love to see it. XD

Either way, I do hope you've enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully, the next one will come out soon.