Disclaimer:
~ Consider this a spoiler warning. They will come up.
~ I don't own anything, aside from my own character. Don't sue me, you won't get much. I'm open to being hired, though. Just sayin'.
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Part Three: That Which Sustains Us
This morning, like every other morning in Lothering, the dawn crept over the trees and slowly illuminated a town caught in between summer's heat and night's brisk chill. The light danced over the ruins of the Imperial Highway and skipped from roof to roof, finally settling on the town's Chantry and its small connected garden. A few stray dogs scampered between the tents set up by refugees, which were gradually appearing in a larger majority of the town. Although the flow had been only a trickle, the Chantry and Lothering's everyday residents were finding it harder and harder to manage the unrelenting influx of people from the areas surrounding Ostegar.
Brushing a loose strand of her honey-auburn hair behind her ear, Leliana guided the door shut with her hands and stepped into the garden. The soil, still brisk from the night before, crunched slightly under her feet. Her eyes drifted shut, and she breathed deeply. She preferred this area for her morning devotionals, instead of the main sanctuary. The Maker reveals himself more in the everyday beauty of nature than in any building, she thought, but the smell of dog does grow tiresome. She spread a small towel on the ground and knelt upon it. She folded her hands, took another slow breath, and let her gaze focus on the twisted rose bush at the end of the garden. Instead of being bare, though, a single miraculous bloom had blossomed overnight. The lush red petals glistened, the antidote to the seemingly dead bush around them. The shadow of a smile touched her lips, and she took a final cleansing breath.
"Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter," she whispered. "Blessed are the peacekeepers, champions of the just."
Leliana couldn't stop her eyes from twitching towards the sound of the garden door opening again. Two Brothers stood in the doorway, staring at her. She smiled at them and, despite herself, was vaguely satisfied when both of them blushed and hurried back inside. Pride is wrong, but it is nice to know I'm still decently attractive...even in these robes and these awful, awful shoes. Well, that or they were gossiping about my vision...
She shook her head, and continued. "Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood the Maker's will is written." Dew slid from petal to petal on the rose in front of her. "Let the blade pass through the flesh, let my blood touch the grou–"
The door opened again, and this time two Sisters walked out. Leliana spared a glance and a smile, but received only cold looks in return. Returning her gaze to the rose, she began again. "Let the blade pass through the fles–"
"Can you believe she claims the Maker spoke to her?" one Sister whispered.
"I know! The arrogance, assuming herself the equal of Andraste!" the other hissed back.
Leliana bit down a retort. Snipping at them would only legitimize them, she reasoned. She cleared her throat, and began her recitation again. "Let the blade pass through the flesh, let my blood touch the ground, let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacri–"
"Have you seen the way the Brothers look at her?" the first Sister spat out, barely containing her voice to a whisper.
"She flaunts herself in front of them, of course they would look! I think she took robes three sizes too small, the way the material hugs her backside..." the second replied.
That's it! Leliana stood in a single smooth motion, and turned to face the two sisters. Both wore smirks on their pudgy faces. Leliana ran her eyes over the two of them and the table they sat at, her mind whirring. The small spade that Brother Daniels uses would easily rend the first's throat before either of them would even realize what was going on, though snapping the second's neck would be a more effective means to quell the probable screams. She took a breath, and forced her closed fist to relax. I'm not that person anymore!
She smiled at the two Sisters. "I was just finishing up. I hope you two have wonderful day. Maker bless you!" She bent, grabbed the towel, and walked back in the Chantry. She marched directly back to her quarters, and put the towel back on a shelf with several others.
"Excuse me, Sister Leliana. Are you alright?"
Leliana spun, an insult rising on her tongue. "You KNOW I'm not...oh!" The older woman standing in the doorway was the Revered Mother. "Your Reverence, I apologize."
The Mother smiled. "No need to, my dear. I know exactly what's got you so flustered."
"I know they shouldn't bother me," Leliana sighed. "It's just...I am what I am. Who are they to question how the Maker crafts His children?"
The Mother took Leliana by the hand, smiling at her. "My dear, 'tis best to just let them be. Why don't you go out in the town? See where you can have the most impact?"
Leliana nodded. "I think I will, your Reverence. Thank you."
The Revered Mother nodded, and left down the hallway. I think I'll start in that tavern, Leliana thought. I know it's full to bursting, perhaps I can be of some usage there. She moved towards the door, but the glint of a dagger's blade caught her gaze. Suppose it wouldn't hurt to be careful. She picked it up, spun it in the air, and slid it into the back of her belt. Now, off to where the Maker guides me.
***3 Months Later***
The half-mystical, half-solid thunk! of the final stepping-stone forming itself echoed through the temple. Sebastion tested it with one foot, then put his weight on it fully. "I think we're good."
Morrigan snorted. "Great! Now we can all hold hands as we skip around in the snow to see the ashes of a mad-woman!" She and Alistair brushed past Sebastion quickly, bickering as always. He moved to follow them, but noticed Leliana dragging her feet. Sebastion whistled to Alistair and flashed a hand, signaling for a break. Alistair nodded in return, and the pair sat down in the hall.
Shaking his head, he turned back to the red-haired bard and flashed a warm smile. "C'mon, Leliana...pretty sure we're almost there. Hopefully no more raging brontos to dodge, and no more dragons to slay...at least for today."
Leliana offered a weak smile back in reply. "I hope not...the last one almost ruined my shoes!"
"Not your shoes! Here you are, already stuck in horrible Fereldan boots with nary a ribbon or bell, and now you have to deal with rampaging beasts and all manner of unsavory thugs? Maker help us!"
The two chuckled softly. Sebastion slowed his steps, and finally stopped altogether. Leliana saw her other companions further down the hallway. Please don't ask me what's on my mind, she begged silently. I can lie to everyone in the world but you.
The raven-haired Warden stopped, just out of earshot of the odd couple down the ruined hall. He ran a hand through his hair, and slowly made eye contact with her. "So...bit for your thoughts? Or do I need a sovereign, instead?"
Oh, damnation. "It's nothing...just having a hard time taking this all in. We're actually going to see the ashes of the Prophetess Herself...makes my head spin, if I think about it too much." Leliana held his eye contact just long enough to sell the half-truth, then glanced away.
Sebastion raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Oh, just out with it! Even a Genlock would be able to see the wheels turning in your head! Leliana screamed to herself.
"That might be true," he said, his voice ginger, "but I don't think it's the whole truth. You know I care. I'm not going to judge you."
A bit of a smile touched one side of her mouth at that. Just over an hour ago, with Alistair and Sebastion off ransacking Maker-knows-what, Morrigan had confronted her about her relationship with Sebastion.. After listening to the statuesque woman demand she "desist and find her own," Leliana took no small amount of pride in informing the mage of the sibling-like relationship she shared with the Warden and watching the triumphant smirk melt away. Seeing her confused was fantastic, though I hope it doesn't come back to hurt Sebastion.
The click! of snapping fingers drug her out of the memory. She blinked twice, and refocused her eyes on Sebastion. "Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
"Really, Leliana?" He grinned, then his face grew more serious. "I was saying...you're doubting your vision, aren't you? Because of what the Guardian said?"
Every ounce of pretense fell from her face. "Y-yes. It's just that – I mean, I'm a bard! I've killed people, before and now – I even enjoy it, at times! – Why in the world would the Maker Himself send a vision to me, when I can't even tell if I'm a good person or not?!"
Sebastion nodded slowly, letting her rambling thought process sink in. As she watched him think, a revelation hit her. Leliana had spent her life learning how to fool people, how to be just memorable enough to catch someone's eye but forgotten just as easily; somehow, without realizing it, she had stumbled into the company of the only man in Thedas who was able to utterly cut through her defenses while not taking advantage of her.
The Warden put his arm around her, and the pair turned to meet up with Alistair and Morrigan. "Look...as much as I poke at the Chantry," he said, "I believe in your vision."
"Of course you don– what?" Leliana looked up at him, her blue eyes meeting his green.
Sebastion shrugged. "When we were in Lothering, I-I was operating on instinct. My family had been slaughtered, my home burnt to the ground. Duncan and Cailan, along with all the other Grey Wardens and good soldiers, were dead at the hands of the darkspawn and Loghain's betrayal. Alistair and I were fumbling in the dark with no idea what to do, and out of nowhere you showed up. You kept me from killing Loghain's man in that tavern, and you helped me set out what we needed to do. You helped me find my focus again, and you let me be myself – no Warden, no noble, no smooth charming ladies' man. If the Maker wasn't responsible for sending you, I'd say He made a mistake."
Leliana's mouth hung open. She knew Sebastion cared, but she never imagined he would say anything like this.
He cleared his throat, and continued. "I was the youngest, never had any little brothers or sisters. As much as stopping the Blight means generally, you helped me see why it matters personally. You're a good person because you worry about doing evil, and if I had a little sister, I'd want her to be like you."
She reached out and touched his face with her hand. "I know you struggle too, with the drive for revenge you feel against Howe. You can try to hide it, but you can't fool everyone."
He nodded, his eyes closed. "I...there's just this swelling hate in me for him. I know it's wrong, I know my duties should come before my personal desires. I just can't help wanting the man dead."
Leliana nodded. "Once, on my travels to Fereldan, I met a man who claimed that everything – good, evil, and all that exists between – are simply aspects of the Maker. I find it comforting, at times, to realize even He must have felt these things in order to create them."
Sebastion opened his eyes, and offered an honest smile to her. He glanced ahead, and like a switch, straightened his back and fixed the expression on his face. There he is, the Warden again, she thought. Like putting on and taking off different masks in a play. He hugged her tight one last time, then let go. "Ready to see what the last test is?"
Leliana smiled in return. "After you, my heroic leader."
****
Laughing, the two joined Morrigan and Alistair. When they entered the final room and realized the wall of flame was a test of faith and not martial arms or wits, Leliana was the first to disrobe. She stepped into the flames without fear, though only one of her companions knew the real reason behind her faith. In Leliana's eyes, the question about the veracity of her vision was mute. She had found a brother from it, and the Maker always provided exactly what she needed.