hapter 4- Sardines

The next day Franz got up bright and early to begin his duties . . . whatever those might be. He dressed in his favourite bright green shoes and comfy slacks, just to motivate him that much more. He even added a bow tie, just to make the day just that more special. After he was done infiltrating his clothing, he went in search of food. He'd heard Frelians made the best chocolate waffles.

He didn't find anyone in the mess hall, or the dining hall either for that matter. Just as Franz was admiring how the castle had managed to have both a mess and dining hall separately, Syrene came over to harass him. "What, you're back already?" she asked, "You're a bit early for lunch, if that was what you were looking for."

"Lunch? Whatever happened to breakfast?" he retorted.

"Breakfast! Franz, it's nearly noon! Just how late do the Renais-ese get up?"

"Late," he sniffed, "We're early-to-bed, late-to-risers."

"Everyone thought you were gone already when you didn't show up for food, so we didn't bother sending anyone to wake you."

"Well, if I was still in Renais I would have been up before everyone else at this godforsaken hour." (this was not entirely true).

"On the other hand," mused Syrene, "this does give us a prime opportunity to test out some genuine brunch cuisine." her smile betrayed her eagerness.

"In Renais, we'd call it second breakfast," said Franz, eyeing the clock. He was hungry, and it's not as if he could work on an empty stomach anyway. And besides, Syrene probably needed something to do. The Royal Guard in Renais had once taken up Tai Chi just to stave off boredom.

An hour later, Franz and Syrene had partaken of a rather good meal consisting mainly of chocolate and salad, and Franz was feeling just about ready to get going on his project. Whatever it was. It just so happened, however, that lunch was starting just then, and seeing as Franz did not eat very much of the chocolate (bad for his teeth, you see) and salad wasn't very filling, he figured he might as well eat some more. By the time all that was over, Franz realized belatedly that he didn't have much time left before tea, and so whatever work he'd do would have to be conducted within the city.

Rather a productive day, he decided later that afternoon, sitting down to tea with Princess Tana (who had apparently invited him to eat with her). was right, the ale at the Five Broomsticks, a small little tavern near the East Gate, was certainly far superior to the ale at the Prancing Horsie, a lively karaoke bar near the barracks. He certainly hoped that verifying The Map was what he was supposed to be doing.

"Did you get a good days work done, then?" Tana asked. Franz's ability to remain sane while listening to her banter appeared to have brought him some favour.

"Yeah, the floor was covered in jelly and the donkeys kept getting in the way, but over all . . ." Tana wasn't listening. She was fishing for something in a large canvass sack. "Ah-ha!" she said triumphantly, pulling out a lacy white segment of cloth stuck in a rather stupid looking metal ring and covered in half-finished petunias, which Franz assumed she was going to embroider as they talked. As she talked.

"Petunias really are quite a difficult flower to embroider, but I'm just so sick of poppies that I simply had to try something else," she rattled.

"Ya don't say?"

"Gotta finish up this red before I start on the blue ones, I hear if mix up colours too much you can give yourself an aneurism."

"Perhaps if your brain is as feeble as a small piece of grass with cancer undergoing kemo, it might." She was not paying attention to him whatsoever. In fact, she was still searching through her bag.

"My uncle Bob died of an aneurism. He was actually older than Daddy but couldn't take the throne after grandaddy died because auntie Mary told him she would slice his naughty off with a cheese grater if he switched professions one more time."

"I think I shall go jump out the window now."

"Too bad, really, seeing as he had a part time job as a clown at the time."

"Maybe if I banged your head against that chair enough you'll get an aneurism."

And thus went the entire afternoon.

Just as he was about to leave, Innes rushed into the room.

"Have you seen Vanessa? I can't find her!" he asked, agitated.

"Aw, has she gotten lost again? Did you check the lavatory? That's where she was last time, remember?" said Tana.

Innes shot her a nasty look. "Yes, I have checked the lavatory," he snarled. "And the kitchens, and the bedrooms and the gardens." and then he rushed out again.

"Sigh," went Tana. "Vanessa tends to wander off a lot. Innes is always worried she'll fall off something. He tends to conscript the entire castle to help find her. Surprising actually how long it can take 300 people to find one girl. Come on, we'd better start looking."

Franz mused. If he had wandered off, where would he go? As he pondered this question, he began to lose track of where he was going. Eventually he found himself in a tower with a long spiral stair case and many guest rooms coming off the side. Franz opened a few of the doors to check them out.

They had got to be the single best guest rooms he had ever seen. Each one had a different theme, complete with wall murals, colour-schemed bed linen and even in some instances real scenery. Just as Franz was admiring the section of gigantic sycamore in a room decorated like a forest, he heard noises coming from across the hall.

The room appeared to be dungeon-themed, although it was rather questionable whether the various instruments lying about were for torture, or something else entirely. He opened the large wardrobe.

To his disappointment, he did not find Narnia but in fact Gilliam and Vanessa. Opening and closing his mouth in shock, Franz swivelled to look at the things in the room, then back at the two caught in the closet together.

Vanessa blushed. "It's not what it looks like. Seriously," she said.

"Omg stop doing that, you look like a fish," said Gilliam.

"Innes is looking for you," he stated simply and turned to make a hurried exit.

"Well duh, of course he's looking for us," said Gilliam, before he could flee.

"He doesn't want to be 'it' again, now, does he?" said Vanessa.

Franz turned back. "What now?"

"We're playing sardines," explained Gilliam, "and I found her, see? And now you have to hide with us."

Dumbfounded, Franz obediently entered the closet. He felt like sin. He also felt cramped.

It took skill, Decided Franz some time later, to fit 5 knights, 1 princess, 2 cook hands and a gardener into one wardrobe. Fortunately one of the cook hands was complaining very loudly that somebody was stepping on his toe, so when Innes passed them by for what must have been the 7th or 8th time, he finally heard them.

"Phew!" said Vanessa, finally out. "You really suck at this game don't you?" she asked Innes.

"Nah ha ha," he said sarcastically. "I suppose you think Ephraim would be better at it?" he asked his laughing sister.

"Poo," she waved her hand in the air dissmissingly. "He's no fun. I tried to get him to play tag once but he refused."

"Yes, for the same reason he refused to eat your goddam pick-nick; it was in the middle of a battle!" said Syrene.

They all filed out. Time for diner. Innes and Vanessa lagged behind. Innes had his back turned to her. She gave him a hug from behind. "Thanks for playing," she said.

He turned his face toward her and held up what he had been looking at. "This looks fun!" he said with a boyish grin.

"Ew~!" she exclaimed. "In your wet dreams!" and she ran out.