Brenda asked for it, how could I say no?

What the hell am I looking at? I woke up that morning in humanity's strongest's bed- DON'T ASK WHY! That's for me to know and you to ignore. Anyway instead of a five foot three sex god all I saw was… well… the ugliest baby ever created by two humans. What is that monstrosity? It was just drooling and glaring at me.

"… Heicho?"

Suddenly the angry baby was smirking and climbing, naked I might add, onto my back, "Choo choo motha fugga."

"Oh god."

I did as told and was bullied into playing train with the now baby Levi. Oh my god, puberty did wonders for him, he was not at all a cute baby. He kicked me with his fatty baby legs. How does this hurt!? He had me completely at his chubby mercy. We ended up by the bedside table where I put his cravat on for him, when I did a less that perfect job he bit my nose.

"Heicho! Stop!"

"Foo- foo."

"Foo?"

He pointed to his mouth, "Now."

He had kept my clothes from the time I was a baby and I put them onto him. He seemed all too delighted to be a child. Was I as annoying- I mean precious! I said precious. I have a feeling that this Levi can read minds. We entered the hallways and began our long walk to the cafeteria, me carrying him the whole way. I'm serious, the more I look at this foul faced baby Levi, the more I'm convinced that he ages like a fine wine. I mentally put the two pictures next to each other… how did that sexy man sex come from this? The kid smacked me, yes… this Levi can read minds.

"Hey Hange," I asked as we passed my tormentor, "Did you do this to Levi?"

She grinned, "Oh! He's so cute!"

"You… think he's cute?" Her glasses must be broken or something.

She pet Levi's head, "Adorable, he looks just like a titan."

He leapt from my arms and knocked her over, beating the shit out of her.

"Levi pick on someone your own size," I begged him.

She only laughed, "Then he would only be able to pick on ten year olds-"

He gave her one last beating before holding his arms out to me, "Up."

"Levi…"

"Up. Up," he gave a little hop. This coming from any other kid would be cute but when Levi said it he sounded spoiled and well… bratty. How's that for irony?

We sat down and everyone… I MEAN EVERYONE… laughed at me. Oh how the tables have turned. Levi only looked less cute when he was eating. This Levi isn't remotely adorable, he's too demanding and pissy. I'm really let down.

He bullied me through the whole day and purposely made messes so I could clean up after him. Seriously! Brat literally almost came out of my mouth when I was talking to him. I'M BECOMING LEVI! NO!

"Mikasa help me, you're a girl so you must have some motherly instinct!"

She turned to me and looked at Levi then back to me and very calmly said, "My motherly instinct is telling me to put him in a basket and abandon him on a doorstep."

"You're too cruel," I weept.

It was then I decided that I should go to the second most reliable woman I know… Armin. He immediately took to the funny looking kid and started playing with him.

"Oh Eren, we should never judge others by their looks," he smiled playing with baby Levi, "Oh! Do you wanna arm wrestle little guy?"

The baby nodded and held his arm out, effectively flipping Armin over onto his back. The baby let out a breathy laugh. Baby Levi… is more frightening than any titan. Here I thought that a baby Levi would be cute, I mean… aren't babies always cute? This one is just a monster! I'm more afraid of him now than when he was an adult.

The day was finally over and I was tucking him into bed. I was planning to go to the cellar where I would be safe or whatever when a little hand tugged at my shirt.

"What is it now my lord- I mean Levi?"

He glared at me for a minute, and then finally said, "Good night kiss."

That was the first time any heart string had been pulled that day. He was actually kind of cute for an instant there. I smiled at him, he actually is kind of cute. I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss.

"Again," he commanded.

"Alright baby."

I gave him another goodnight kiss when he bit my lip and I jumped up all WTF!? I stared at him and he gave me a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

"NO LEVI! I WILL NOT HAVE YOU DOMINATE ME ANY MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE TODAY! SERIOUSLY!? I MEAN FOR GOD SAKE'S YOU'RE A FRIGGIN BABY!"

I stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind me. Oh my god, he's crazy! He's a lunatic!? And then I heard a thud and I turned around and opened the door. He was face first on the floor. I walked over to help him get back into bed when I looked at his big teary eyes. He wasn't glaring anymore, he only held his little face in pain. He actually looked cute.

"Oh don't cry," I comforted him, "How about I sing you a lullaby my mom used to sing me?"

Talk about déjà vu. He nodded his head and I held him in my arms and very gently sang to him.

"SEID IHR DAS ESSEN? NEIN, WIR SIND DER JÄGER! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

Hey, I couldn't resist the idea of turning Levi into an ugly baby XD Hope you enjoyed this sweet piece of crack!