Now he had been betrayed before, very recently in fact but fuck this one hurt. Perhaps he could stick his balls on a string and hang them from the door of the locker room and every single fucking person who walked through could kick them.

Atwater had agreed to stop talking about his failed engagement if he agreed to come out for a drink. Stupidly he went along thinking that his mate, his best man would have his back. His foot had barely hit the top step of Molly's when he saw them. Together. Laughing.

This was supposed to be about him, getting back into the swing of things. "Man, you gotta get out of your bat cave. One drink Bro." Kevin had begged him. More than a week had passed since they last had it out in the car and no one had mentioned it again and life got back to normal. Well his work life did anyway.

The one time he had seen her at work she was closer than he hoped. The back stairs were his saving grace; he used them instead of the Front Entrance every opportunity he got. It also had the bonus effect of not running into Sgt Platt. That was just awkward and he heard whispers that she had gone into bat for them to stay together on Patrol. He long suspected he could cross her off his Christmas card list and that just confirmed it. He knew that she had Kim's back, she was her Boss and he honestly didn't mind. Platt would have her back and his team would have his. Or that was how the story was supposed to go.

That day, even the back stairs didn't save him. He stepped around the corner and came face to face with her. "Hey Adam." She stopped, smiling nervously.

He stood to the side and held up his hands so that she could pass. What the fuck was she waiting for? She stood there for just a moment waiting for him to respond. Waiting for him to say something, anything. "How are you?" the words slipped out of her mouth lamely when he didn't speak.

"How am I?" he wanted to scream, "How the fuck do you think I am?" He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her stare into his eyes and see the pain she had caused, but he didn't. "Late." Was the only word that came out as he stepped past her and never looked back. He did not know how long she stood there, he didn't know if she even cared.

Now, he stood frozen on the top step until he felt people behind him, wanting to get past. What the fuck was his best friend doing sitting at the bar having a good laugh and a beer with Sean Roman. The one man he thought would have his back. He apologised as he stepped aside and literally ran back to his truck. He had no idea if they saw him. As he sat in his truck trying to stop his hands shaking he saw Burgess approach the bar with a skip in her step. Fuck, he needed to get out of here. He could only imagine the scene inside. The three of them laughing and joking, probably about him. 'Did you see him? Being a coward, hiding in his truck. How pathetic. Ha, ha, ha.'

Yep, just make sure the string was long enough so people didn't have to make much of an effort to kick his balls. He would want anyone wasting any time or energy on him.

The joke was on him. In a matter of weeks the woman he loved and his best friend had betrayed him. The only way that could of hurt more was if she had started screwing him instead of Roman. How could Atwater invite him for a drink and then sit and wait at the bar for him with the one guy he didn't want anything to do with and her, he didn't want to see her either.

'Bro, where are you?' He looked at Atwater's message as he slammed down another shot. This was smoother than the last time he did this, he hadn't driven as far and this bar was a little less seedy. He deleted the four messages he typed out before finally pressing send on the last one. It was a little less harsh.

'Not joining that party.'

'Huh?'

He didn't answer.

When Atwater came bounding up the stairs the next day Ruzek didn't even look up from his desk. He was scanning through his emails, deleting all the crap that seemed to multiple every day. No he didn't need Viagra from some dodgy Canadian Online Drug Store. He slammed his finger onto the delete button repeatedly.

"Dude, what happened to you last night?" Atwater slung his jacket over the back of his chair and reached over to turn on his computer. "You left me hangin'."

"You seemed to have plenty of company."

"Huh?"

He didn't answer.

Atwater rested a hand on his hunched shoulder and he shrugged it off angrily. "Bro, you okay?"

"You know what Atwater. I am fine."

"What's up your ass?"

He pushed his chair back slowly, which took all his very limited self-control. What he really wanted to do was slam it against the wall and lose his shit all over the room, but he didn't. He just walked into the Break room and poured himself a bad cup of coffee. Bad coffee bad mood, it seemed like a perfect match to him.

He tried to ignore Atwater leaning on the doorframe waiting for an answer or an explanation. Saying nothing would have been the wisest course of action but the bullpen was empty and that made him a little less cautious. "You know what I hoped for? That the guy I had asked to be my best man, when I married the love of my life wouldn't help her twist the knife in my back. Why don't you and Burgess and Roman all just go and get the fuck out of my life." He pushed past him, which was no mean feat because one thing Atwater had on him was size. But they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, well you could probably add that hell hath no fury like a man betrayed.

By the time Ruzek reappeared from the locker room, or wherever he took himself off to the rest of the team had filed in so Atwater had no chance to talk to him. The day didn't give them a chance either and as much as it drained every single ounce of Ruzek's energy he did his best not to let his frustration, anger or whatever you wanted to call it to effect his work. This was exactly what he did not want to happen. This is what he desperately wanted to avoid.

The knock on the door was not unexpected. He debated whether to answer it but he wasn't going away, the repeated banging was fast becoming annoying. "What?" he yanked open the door and made no move to let him in.

"Bro, what's going on?"

"You tell me?"

"You expect me to just ignore Burgess because you've got the shits with her?"

"No Kev, you can do whatever you want. You can sit at the bar and drink beers and have a good old laugh about how pathetic I am with Roman all you want. I've been shat on too much lately to care anymore. If you want to be best buddies with Burgess and Roman knock yourself out and perhaps they'll invite you to their wedding. Maybe you can be his best man. But you and I are done." He waved his hand back and forth between them. "We work together, that's it."

"Let me in."

"I'm tired. I've had a rough couple of days."

"Look he just turned up, we had a chat. Then Burgess turned up and she was my partner too and I wanted to make sure she was okay. It's been a rough few weeks for her too."

"She bought on herself." He stepped back and let him in. More for the fact that his neighbours were nosy enough and having it out in the hallway would give them far too much information. He preferred to keep his life as private as possible. "If she wasn't feeling him up in the front seat maybe they would have seen the kid coming at them."

"Bro, come on."

"What do you want Kev?"

"I want to know that you are okay?"

"What do you care?" He pushed a smile onto his face and walked back towards the door. "I'm fine. If you're done, I'll see you at work on Monday."

"You know he's been pensioned out? He's leaving."

"So?" Adam shrugged.

"He's leaving town."

"I might give their going away party a miss." His hand was still resting on the doorknob. Nothing had changed for him; the only difference would be that he wouldn't bump into them anymore. They were already out of his life; this would make it so much easier.

"You really want her to go?"

"You know what Atwater, I've been kicked around. I've been hurt, betrayed, lied to and I've had my heart broken over and over again. I can't do it anymore. I can't care about anyone else anymore. I need to look out for myself because no one else will." He opened the door and stood aside making it blatantly obvious that his presence was no longer wanted.

He closed the door behind him and tried not to think about what Atwater had just told him. He didn't care, he couldn't care….he didn't want to care.