Heyhey! Long time to see! (a year, to be precise.) It's the last few days
of the hols, and school's gonna start again. sigh. I'm amazed I even dug
this up for a posting. :) Merry Belated Christmas, everyone. Thanks to all
those that reviewed, love ya lots! *hugs* The usual, lots of weirdness and
ooc-ness. You have been warned.
Inner Obsessions 4
Lance Alvers awoke to a most unpleasant sight. Standing in front of him were Pietro, Blob and Toad. but the oddest thing was, they were wearing what looked suspiciously like grass skirts and war headbands. Behind them, Lance could make out a large, burning thing. A . bonfire??
"Hola, Lance!" Pietro cried out crazily, waving a flowered garland at him. Beside him, Toad and Blob grinned as well, although theirs appeared slightly forced.
Lance blinked. "What are you guys doing? Are you mad?" His eyes focused on the ropes holding his arms and feet in place. "And why the hell am I tied up like this?!"
Pietro tutted. "It's the ceremony."
"Ceremony?" When was the last time he took Prozac? Lance couldn't recall.
"The. ah. ceremony of." The skirted Pietro faltered and elbowed Toad, as if asking for assistance.
"Ceremonies?" Toad finished weakly. "Right, yo, uh - the ceremony of ceremonies." The light from the blazing fire behind him made his face glow eerily against the night sky.
"Right-to!" Pietro said breezily. He headed towards Lance, and to Avalanche's horror, he had come to the awful, awful realization that because he was tied up from head to toe with ropes, he couldn't back away.
Panic rising rapidly, Lance was gripped with horror as the tribal (and maniacal) Quicksilver advanced in his direction. The last time he saw Pietro grin in such an insane manner, he had forced Lance to wear a Betty Boop costume and parade with him down the shopping district (they were drunk). Thankfully, he had few lasting memories about the encounter, besides having woken up in a holding cell with a drunken Pietro still singing off-tune to the mickey mouse theme song. Not wanting a repeat of the encounter, he did the only thing that came to mind.
"HEEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!" The ground began to shake, causing some of the delicately balanced tribal torches to wobble precariously.
"Stop! STOP!!" Losing his head somewhat, Pietro grabbed a large metal rod lying on the ground and slammed it against Lance's head, causing him to drop in a dead faint, and the earthquake promptly ceased.
"I think," Fred said concernedly, "that you just killed him."
"Don't worry," Pietro said, but it could be noted that there was a tinge of hysteria in his voice. "He's still breathing. He'll be up in no time!"
Toad looked around nervously. "Are you sure we should do this yo? Is it even legal?"
At this point, Wanda, the only one actually wearing normal clothes, spoke up from her corner. "I don't think this will work," she said mutinously. "He's not responding very well to your 'reverse psychology', it seems." She gestured in the direction of Lance's unmoving body to make a point.
Pietro looked deep in thought. "But it should be working," he protested weakly. "If we make him think he's the only sane one around, then we may be able to save him!"
"From what?"
"From being an insane axe murderer! Didn't you hear? He was ranting about setting Scott and Jean on fire!"
"And you think YOUR idea's gonna work?"
"Well, come up with a better one then, Miss High and Mighty!"
"Well, it'd certainly be better than what you had in mind."
"Oh yeah? Prove it!"
Fred sighed and turned to Todd, who was watching the scene with what looked like fascinated amusement. "Burrito?"
"Sure," he agreed, tearing his eyes away from the verbal battle and hopping after Fred, leaving the arguing siblings and a still unconscious Avalanche behind, sprawled out pathetically on the grass.
*********
Logan awoke from a bad nightmare, sweating profusely. He sniffed the air suspiciously. Something was amiss. But he couldn't quite put his finger on what.
And then realization struck him. It took a few moments for him to gather his wits before he reacted. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
His resounding cry echoed throughout the mansion, and almost all the resident mutants were awakened by his terror-filled howl.
"What's going on?" Ororo poked her head sleepily through his door. "Something wrong?"
"Of course something's wrong!" Logan's eyes bulged slightly. "It's gone!"
"What's gone?" Kitty asked, as she and the remaining students at the Institute filed into the room, still rubbing their eyes. If they had noticed the numerous death threats and the "DO NOT ENTER" words scrawled angrily on his door, they did a good job of ignoring them. Fortunately, Logan was too busy panicking to notice that his room was a lot fuller than usual, and started pacing the floor in despair.
"Anything the matter, Logan?" The professor asked, in an all-too-chipper voice for 3am in the morning. He wheeled himself importantly to the center of the room.
Logan felt like ripping his hair out. "It's gone," he said wildly, turning in every direction to check if it was on the floor or hiding behind his desk. "My Bob - he's gone."
"Bob?" Rogue mumbled curiously, biting back a yawn. "Who's he?"
Logan directed his wild eyes to hers. "My blanket! It's always been with me, and now it's gone!" He whirled around, regarding the each of the various x men accusingly. "Who took it?"
"Hey, don't look at me like that," Kurt said, backing away. "I don't even know what it looks like."
"Tell you what," Ororo said soothingly. "Why don't we all go back to sleep, and we can start searching for it in the morning."
"Easy for you to say," Logan snarled. "I can't sleep without it!"
"You could bunk with me," the Professor suggested brightly. We could have a slumber party, with balloons and -"
"We will NOT have a slumber party," Logan snapped. "And nobody's going to sleep until I find Bob!"
************
"This, my dear manservant, is the secret to Wolverine's success!" Magneto crowed triumphantly, waving what looked like a small quilt in Sabertooth's face.
Sabertooth looked unimpressed. "It's a blanket."
"It's not any ordinary blanket," Magneto did a little dance on the carpet. "It's his life-bringing, strength-giving, happiness-inducing, most sacred possession of all time!"
Sabertooth coughed. "Right."
Magneto punched the air in victory. "With this, I shall be able to defeat him!"
"You don't say." Sabertooth regarded Magneto dubiously. "You're going to defeat him with a blanket."
Magneto nodded, ecstatic. "You see, without this blanket, he is powerless to stop me!" He laughed maniacally, further proving to Sabertooth that he had indeed lost his marbles.
"Ooookay." The burly Acolyte returned to his golfing magazine. "Anything else I should know about? Besides Wolverine's blanket and its magical whatchamacallit powers?"
"Life-bringing, strength-giving, happiness-inducing powers," Magneto corrected him. "I'll be leaving it in your care." He gave Sabertooth a very severe look. "Don't let it out of your sight." He reached over to place it on the table, but reconsidered and draped it across Sabertooth's face instead.
"Remember," he said cheerfully, before leaving the room for more strawberry milk. "Don't let it out of your sight!"
It was lucky Magneto had closed the door behind him, as the door became the most unfortunate recipient of several sharp, pointy things which zoomed towards their target with amazing speed and accuracy.
*******
"You're not looking hard enough!" Logan had yelled as one by one, the bedraggled mutants reported back to him empty handed.
Jean stifled a yawn. "But we've searched everywhere!" she protested. "And the professor couldn't sense it anywhere in the mansion, either."
Logan glared at her and flung his hands in the air. "Then that means someone's taken it out of the mansion!"
Three hundred miles away, Magneto sipped his strawberry milk from his favourite mug, whilst singing to Justin Timberlake's "Rock your Body".
Logan's eyes burned with an anger that seemed to consume everything within a 10 meter radius.
"Whoo," Kurt said, patting out a small fire that had started on his shirtsleeve. "Hot."
"That's it!" Logan said dramatically. "We're going on a quest!"
"A quest?" the mutants echoed in unison.
"A mission," Logan bit out, "to recover Bob."
A long, drawn out silence followed.
"Now!" he snapped. "Bob's probably stranded somewhere and needs our help! If we don't find him I'll never be at peace!" He popped his claws, and so did a throbbing vein on his forehead. "Now!" he repeated, windmilling his arms for emphasis, accidentally sending Evan flying as he did so.
With sighs of resignation, the mutants headed out of the room (with Evan clutching at his jaw), whilst Logan stared wistfully at a framed photograph of him and Bob on his desk. Where he was smiling for once, and even Bob looked happy, draped comfortably over his shoulder.
Logan choked back a sob and buried his head in his pillow.
[A/n: aww! Poor logan! I almost feel sorry for him, but a fanfic writer's gotta do what a fanfic writer's gotta do, ya? :D Review, review, review! *does dance* ]
Inner Obsessions 4
Lance Alvers awoke to a most unpleasant sight. Standing in front of him were Pietro, Blob and Toad. but the oddest thing was, they were wearing what looked suspiciously like grass skirts and war headbands. Behind them, Lance could make out a large, burning thing. A . bonfire??
"Hola, Lance!" Pietro cried out crazily, waving a flowered garland at him. Beside him, Toad and Blob grinned as well, although theirs appeared slightly forced.
Lance blinked. "What are you guys doing? Are you mad?" His eyes focused on the ropes holding his arms and feet in place. "And why the hell am I tied up like this?!"
Pietro tutted. "It's the ceremony."
"Ceremony?" When was the last time he took Prozac? Lance couldn't recall.
"The. ah. ceremony of." The skirted Pietro faltered and elbowed Toad, as if asking for assistance.
"Ceremonies?" Toad finished weakly. "Right, yo, uh - the ceremony of ceremonies." The light from the blazing fire behind him made his face glow eerily against the night sky.
"Right-to!" Pietro said breezily. He headed towards Lance, and to Avalanche's horror, he had come to the awful, awful realization that because he was tied up from head to toe with ropes, he couldn't back away.
Panic rising rapidly, Lance was gripped with horror as the tribal (and maniacal) Quicksilver advanced in his direction. The last time he saw Pietro grin in such an insane manner, he had forced Lance to wear a Betty Boop costume and parade with him down the shopping district (they were drunk). Thankfully, he had few lasting memories about the encounter, besides having woken up in a holding cell with a drunken Pietro still singing off-tune to the mickey mouse theme song. Not wanting a repeat of the encounter, he did the only thing that came to mind.
"HEEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!" The ground began to shake, causing some of the delicately balanced tribal torches to wobble precariously.
"Stop! STOP!!" Losing his head somewhat, Pietro grabbed a large metal rod lying on the ground and slammed it against Lance's head, causing him to drop in a dead faint, and the earthquake promptly ceased.
"I think," Fred said concernedly, "that you just killed him."
"Don't worry," Pietro said, but it could be noted that there was a tinge of hysteria in his voice. "He's still breathing. He'll be up in no time!"
Toad looked around nervously. "Are you sure we should do this yo? Is it even legal?"
At this point, Wanda, the only one actually wearing normal clothes, spoke up from her corner. "I don't think this will work," she said mutinously. "He's not responding very well to your 'reverse psychology', it seems." She gestured in the direction of Lance's unmoving body to make a point.
Pietro looked deep in thought. "But it should be working," he protested weakly. "If we make him think he's the only sane one around, then we may be able to save him!"
"From what?"
"From being an insane axe murderer! Didn't you hear? He was ranting about setting Scott and Jean on fire!"
"And you think YOUR idea's gonna work?"
"Well, come up with a better one then, Miss High and Mighty!"
"Well, it'd certainly be better than what you had in mind."
"Oh yeah? Prove it!"
Fred sighed and turned to Todd, who was watching the scene with what looked like fascinated amusement. "Burrito?"
"Sure," he agreed, tearing his eyes away from the verbal battle and hopping after Fred, leaving the arguing siblings and a still unconscious Avalanche behind, sprawled out pathetically on the grass.
*********
Logan awoke from a bad nightmare, sweating profusely. He sniffed the air suspiciously. Something was amiss. But he couldn't quite put his finger on what.
And then realization struck him. It took a few moments for him to gather his wits before he reacted. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
His resounding cry echoed throughout the mansion, and almost all the resident mutants were awakened by his terror-filled howl.
"What's going on?" Ororo poked her head sleepily through his door. "Something wrong?"
"Of course something's wrong!" Logan's eyes bulged slightly. "It's gone!"
"What's gone?" Kitty asked, as she and the remaining students at the Institute filed into the room, still rubbing their eyes. If they had noticed the numerous death threats and the "DO NOT ENTER" words scrawled angrily on his door, they did a good job of ignoring them. Fortunately, Logan was too busy panicking to notice that his room was a lot fuller than usual, and started pacing the floor in despair.
"Anything the matter, Logan?" The professor asked, in an all-too-chipper voice for 3am in the morning. He wheeled himself importantly to the center of the room.
Logan felt like ripping his hair out. "It's gone," he said wildly, turning in every direction to check if it was on the floor or hiding behind his desk. "My Bob - he's gone."
"Bob?" Rogue mumbled curiously, biting back a yawn. "Who's he?"
Logan directed his wild eyes to hers. "My blanket! It's always been with me, and now it's gone!" He whirled around, regarding the each of the various x men accusingly. "Who took it?"
"Hey, don't look at me like that," Kurt said, backing away. "I don't even know what it looks like."
"Tell you what," Ororo said soothingly. "Why don't we all go back to sleep, and we can start searching for it in the morning."
"Easy for you to say," Logan snarled. "I can't sleep without it!"
"You could bunk with me," the Professor suggested brightly. We could have a slumber party, with balloons and -"
"We will NOT have a slumber party," Logan snapped. "And nobody's going to sleep until I find Bob!"
************
"This, my dear manservant, is the secret to Wolverine's success!" Magneto crowed triumphantly, waving what looked like a small quilt in Sabertooth's face.
Sabertooth looked unimpressed. "It's a blanket."
"It's not any ordinary blanket," Magneto did a little dance on the carpet. "It's his life-bringing, strength-giving, happiness-inducing, most sacred possession of all time!"
Sabertooth coughed. "Right."
Magneto punched the air in victory. "With this, I shall be able to defeat him!"
"You don't say." Sabertooth regarded Magneto dubiously. "You're going to defeat him with a blanket."
Magneto nodded, ecstatic. "You see, without this blanket, he is powerless to stop me!" He laughed maniacally, further proving to Sabertooth that he had indeed lost his marbles.
"Ooookay." The burly Acolyte returned to his golfing magazine. "Anything else I should know about? Besides Wolverine's blanket and its magical whatchamacallit powers?"
"Life-bringing, strength-giving, happiness-inducing powers," Magneto corrected him. "I'll be leaving it in your care." He gave Sabertooth a very severe look. "Don't let it out of your sight." He reached over to place it on the table, but reconsidered and draped it across Sabertooth's face instead.
"Remember," he said cheerfully, before leaving the room for more strawberry milk. "Don't let it out of your sight!"
It was lucky Magneto had closed the door behind him, as the door became the most unfortunate recipient of several sharp, pointy things which zoomed towards their target with amazing speed and accuracy.
*******
"You're not looking hard enough!" Logan had yelled as one by one, the bedraggled mutants reported back to him empty handed.
Jean stifled a yawn. "But we've searched everywhere!" she protested. "And the professor couldn't sense it anywhere in the mansion, either."
Logan glared at her and flung his hands in the air. "Then that means someone's taken it out of the mansion!"
Three hundred miles away, Magneto sipped his strawberry milk from his favourite mug, whilst singing to Justin Timberlake's "Rock your Body".
Logan's eyes burned with an anger that seemed to consume everything within a 10 meter radius.
"Whoo," Kurt said, patting out a small fire that had started on his shirtsleeve. "Hot."
"That's it!" Logan said dramatically. "We're going on a quest!"
"A quest?" the mutants echoed in unison.
"A mission," Logan bit out, "to recover Bob."
A long, drawn out silence followed.
"Now!" he snapped. "Bob's probably stranded somewhere and needs our help! If we don't find him I'll never be at peace!" He popped his claws, and so did a throbbing vein on his forehead. "Now!" he repeated, windmilling his arms for emphasis, accidentally sending Evan flying as he did so.
With sighs of resignation, the mutants headed out of the room (with Evan clutching at his jaw), whilst Logan stared wistfully at a framed photograph of him and Bob on his desk. Where he was smiling for once, and even Bob looked happy, draped comfortably over his shoulder.
Logan choked back a sob and buried his head in his pillow.
[A/n: aww! Poor logan! I almost feel sorry for him, but a fanfic writer's gotta do what a fanfic writer's gotta do, ya? :D Review, review, review! *does dance* ]