Hello everyone! I hope you all are enjoying the story because I am having a sinful amount of fun writing it. I do not own Hellsing nor any of the characters (besides Tilly) so please read and enjoy!

After a few days under Walter's extremely good watch, I was on the mend. Having the silver cuff on all the time was a pain in the ass. It made it hard to maneuver my arm, not to mention it chaffed like a son of a bitch. Seras and Pip came in to talk to me at least twice a day when they weren't training. Seras always asked me how I was feeling, Pip told me I was going to get my ass kicked when I got out onto the field.

The day I began my official training as a Hellsing Organization goon, dawned like any other London day. It was gray and damp, the kind that makes you feel like there's mold growing in the every crevice of your body and in your bone marrow. My first exercise was to fence with an artificial ghoul that had motion detectors.

"Come on now little one, show that machine who's boss!"

I growled as I took another hit from the dummy.

"No one asked you Pip!"

The foil was awkward and unbalanced in my hand. I held it straight out in front of me with both hands, yet I still couldn't hit any vital spots.

"Oh fuck this!"

I threw down the foil and drew out my Colt Python Revolver, and shot that poor ghoul where it stood.

I smiled at my handiwork.

"Congratulations, you have effectively failed."

I turned to see Sir Integra standing at the door with her trademark cigar in her mouth.

"I hit him didn't I?"

She stiffened a bit at my tone, it pleased me to see her react, however small the reaction was.

Without another word, she drew her sword she carried with her at all times on the training fields.

"Do you know why swords were considered so effective?"

"I suppose because guns didn't exist yet."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Because they never ran out of bullets."

With that, she lunged.

20 minutes later, sweat was pouring down my face and I had three brand new scratches. Courtesy of Integra Hellsing and her damned sword. Yet she barely had a hair out of place.

I dropped the sword they had provided me with after I dodged her first attack, and put my hands in front of me.

"Pick it up."

"Not until you stop attacking me like a madwoman! I've been at it for hours now, if I could just rest!"

"GHOULS DO NOT REST!"

Her voice echoed throughout the chamber, the power resonant in ever syllable.

"DO YOU THINK BLOOD THIRSTY CREATURES REST WHEN THERE IS BLOOD TO BE HAD? NO THEY DO NOT!"

She lowered her voice to a dangerous tone.

"Therefore, neither does the Hellsing Organization! You may believe what you want to, insolent child. But when the time comes you will be facing plain old fashioned monsters."

She sheathed her sword.

"You are a part of the Hellsing Organization, and you do not rest."

I stood there, stunned at her outburst. I felt that back of my throat close, and my chin trembled. I would not cry on a battlefield. No matter when, no matter why, I could not.

Especially not in front of her.

"Yes, Sir Integra. Understood."

But she had already left.

The next morning I woke before dawn. I could hear Pip's heavy breathing and Jonathon's snoring, it was a comforting sound, the lullaby I had lived with practically my whole life.

I quietly got out of my got and left the barracks. Breathing in the cool morning air burned my lungs a bit, but it had a cleansing feeling to it.

Yesterdays events came back to me like an unpleasant taste after a belch. I had been humiliated and demeaned, even after I had tried to prove my worth. Not to mention it had been in front of my comrades!

I gritted my teeth, maybe if I ground hard enough yesterday would disappear.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the waning moon.

I couldn't make it disappear, but maybe, it was a long shot, but maybe I could out a veil over it with today.

With a smirk, and a renewed blood lust, I headed for the training grounds.

"Alright, foil. You are very flimsy, and very weird looking, but we have to work as a team, you hear me? These ghouls are not just going to leave us be. Now you can make this easy, or I could break you in half and get a new one got it?"

I took the defensive stance and pressed the red button. The motion sensitive ghoul came at me with a speed that should not be legal when on a training ground, but I waited.

When the ghoul was only feet away from me I took a lunging step forward keeping my back foot completely rooted, and swung the foil as to "cut off" the "ghouls" head as instructed.

The loud buzzer was grating in my ears.

I hadn't waited long enough. My foil had reached the ghouls neck. But had this been a real battle, it only would have scratched him. And I would be, for lack of a better word, screwed.

"DAMMIT! SHIT! I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL FOIL!"

"I didn't know inanimate objects were capable of bargaining."

I jumped and saw Walter standing at the door way smirking.

"Don't do that Walter, you scared the shit out of me."

"My apologies."

I put the foil down and sat next to it. I brought my knees up to my chin and sighed.

"Why can't I do it Walter? Everyone else seems to get the hang of these damn things, but I just. . .can't."

He came up and stood next to me.

"That word should never be in the vocabulary of a Hellsing soldier."

I looked up at him. He was standing ramrod straight. His hands folded behind his back. You wouldn't know it by looking at his slightly relaxed position, but he was well on guard, ready for whatever fuckery life threw at him.

I stood up and looked at the "ghoul". Seeing where my foil had scratched just brought back the humiliation and anger of yesterday. I kicked my foil across the room with an angry grunt.

"Sir Integra is right! What am I going to be able to do on a battlefield? The only thing I know how to do is shoot!"

"I very much doubt that Miss Tilly. Didn't you use a grenade against Alucard the other night?"

"Well. . . Yeah. But that was my last one!"

Walter turned towards me and his monocle gleamed.

"Then make more."

I looked at him for a moment.

"And how do you suggest I-"

He cut me off with a stern look.

"Hellsing has close to unlimited resources when it comes to artillery. Tell you what, if you can make anti-freak bombs, you may be able to redeem yourself in Sir Integra's eyes."

The plans were already forming in my head. Shrapnel bombs would be the most affective against groups of ghouls. Only instead of using random junk, I could use sharpened pieces of blessed silver.

I grinned up at Walter.

"Sign me up."