Thank you for all the reviewed this chapter is dedicated to you guys.

So this was it… This was what Harry had been dreading. No, he was not at the durselys yet but it was pretty darn close. Right now, he was sitting in the train all by himself. He had told Hermione, Ron, and Neville who were sitting with him that he would be out in a second and that they should go on without him for now. He had said that he would see them in a few seconds but that had been nearly five minutes ago and yet his legs would not move.

Sooner more than later, he knew that someone who he told that too would come looking for him and be asking what took so long. Still he couldn't use his strength to get up, that would be like a limping chicken freely walking into a lion's den as it limped onward. Moreover, for once Harry wasn't going to do something so stupid such as leaving with the durselys to prove something to the world. By his watch, he had done enough stupid things because he walked straight into something this last year.

"Harry you going to come out of there? You're exactly where we left you and I saw your ride they look sort of mad," Ron said as he poked his head back in the compartment.

Once again, there it was like clockwork just as he had excepted to happen. One of his friends went looking for him after not seeing him come off the Hogwarts express. Oh well there was no chance of hiding left and even if there was he wouldn't take it. Because eventually Harry would have to get off the train anyway and it was better being sooner. Mostly because Ron had just told him, his ride looked angry. And if there's one thing, you don't want it's an angry Vernon to go home with.

He sighed once before getting back up on his feet and grabbing his bags. "Yeah Ron I'm coming hold on a sec I'll walk out with you." He turned around and pretended to look through his bag and make sure he had everything.

When in reality he was taking deep breathes to calm himself down a little. But what really had him freaked out was the fact that he had to do something like that. He had just been in a huge battle with the one evil wizard the world feared the most. He had made it past umbridge's detentions with her blood quills and he had fought dementors in surrey before he was even back at school. So why was he so scared of a mangy overweight muggle?

Of course, this topic had come up once or twice in his mind and he had many answers to it too.

Some were that it was because he couldn't use magic as he could in the wizarding world. Others where that he didn't fight back because he would end up doing some accidental magic and he would get himself kicked out of Hogwarts. Then there was the all-famous one that it was because he didn't have any of his friends there. Usually when something bad happened at Hogwarts, he had a teacher or one of his friends to run to who would find a way to help him out. But out there, all the way in privet drive was too far a place to run to get help from any of his friends. And surely, if he did Dumbledore would have him sent right back to that hell. I mean after all wasn't it his idea to put Harry there in the first place?

That idea of running away was the scariest one of all. Because if it did go the way he thought it would then he would get sent back and if he did then Merlin only knows what uncle Vernon would do to him because he left.

So by bearing up his courage, Harry looked back at Ron, who still happened to be waiting there for him and he set of with his trunk.

It was a good thing that Ron didn't notice Harry's hands slightly shaking because if he did Harry would have no answer for him, just because he had no idea himself. Usually he didn't get this shook up when he went back to his aunt's house. So why did this one visit back have him so alarmed and on edge?

Well he already knew the answer to that too and it was because of no other than Sirius. Harry had guessed that these summers didn't scare him that much anymore back then. Because back then Harry knew that Sirius wanted him and was working on getting himself, free. Now… well now he had no idea what to think.

There was no Sirius, there was no escape route and there was no guarantee that his uncle couldn't touch him out of fear about his godfather. It was like him playing poker with the fates and Harry had just been dealt the worst had he could ever get.

He did however notice that Ron was looking at him oddly out of the corner of his eye. Maybe he was giving something away on his face.

"Mate are you alright you look a little pale?"

There it was, Harry was right he had forgot to cover up was the way he looked on the outside. He was working so hard on the inside to cover up what he was thinking that he didn't even care about how worried he was looking in his facial expressions. Oh, well no point in hiding them now.

"Yeah Ron I'm fine, I just think Seamus is right and I'm letting this Sirius thing get into my head."

"Oh, don't worry that much about it man, Sirius loves you we all could tell."

For once, the boy who lived didn't have a comeback to what Ron said. And he wouldn't until he found out if what his friend says was true.

There was one more thing that was bothering him and this time it wasn't about Sirius becoming distant or about going home to his uncle. It was about whether or not Sirius loved him and if he loved him back. You see Harry had never had anyone tell them they loved him and to be quite truthful harry had never told anyone he loved them.

But if someone loved you they wouldn't just get up and leave you would they? However, he had no time to think about it now because dead ahead was the durselys family. And boy was Ron as right as ever they did look mad, furious actually. But that was understandable I mean Harry did send Dudley to the hospital because he attracted the dementors to the park that night.

Luck just wouldn't go his way no matter what it would. Harry just always had to pick the short end of the stick didn't he? In some case though that was ok, because Harry could usually make it past any situation thrown towards him. It was just that these last few days Harry had been so worn down that he didn't want to deal with it.

He only wanted to go home and lay down for a while until he was ready to get back up on his feet. But Merlin knew that while he was at the durselys that was never going to happen. Harry wasn't even sure if he was going to get any rest, he was sure that his uncle and aunt would have his summer filled up with useless chores. Things that never really needed to be done but amused his uncle to watch him do.

Usually his workload was things like painting the fence twice in once week. Or walking all the way down to a certain store to get Dudley a certain kind of food that had no fat in it.

Of course, though Harry rather liked having Dudley on a diet even though it meant so much more work for him. He cooked all of the meals in that house and he had to admit that it was difficult at times and it was much more strain on him to cook it to his aunt's perfection. Nevertheless, he still did it because of Dudley's disgusted face when he ate it.

When Dudley pulled that face, Harry knew that he was not the only person suffering through that dinner.

"BOY! Come on then we have to have a little talk when we get home." Vernon shouted in a more than mad voice.

Ron's eyebrows rose a little at the sound and harshness of Harry's uncles voice but he didn't say anything. Harry just shook his head and looked back at Ron to say his goodbyes.

"I'll see you next year mate ok, feel free to send me an owl anytime though Merlin knows I'll be bored."

Wow had he ever gotten good at lying about his home life, he knew he was certainly making a mistake. By telling Ron to send an owl he knew that one would come at least twice a week and his uncle hated those birds. He had even threatened to shoot Hedwig last year because she was hooting to loud.

"Are you sure you want to leave with him mate he seems kind of mad?" Ron just had to question before he left. Secretly he hoped Harry would say no so that he could spend the summer with him at the burrow.

But it seemed luck was also pulling Ron a bad hand because Harry once again stupidly said no. the chosen one didn't want to put Ron and his family in more danger than they already were without him there. And with dementors coming to surrey, who knew what could happen at the burrow.

"Well then I'll see you at the end of summer, I'm just an owl away if you need me." Ronald gave Harry one final friendly pat on the back after harry nodded and he walked off to see his family who were calling him from the other side of the station.

Harry was happy they only waved because right now he certainly didn't feel like talking to anyone or saying goodbye again. It hurt too much to know he was letting go of everything that was keeping him safe. So it was a good thing that harry said goodbye to everyone else on the train ride.

"God dam mitt boy are you just going to stand there! I said we had to talk when we all were home." his uncle practically spat out the word talk. Making harry dread going to the so-called home even more, he knew that talking wasn't what it was hinted to be.

Talking was going to be a beating and harry knew that very well.

His uncle would usually throw him back in the cupboard after his beating and say he was glad they had that nice talk.

Harry always used his mind and guessed that by saying they were just talking he felt better about hitting a child so small as Harry. Either that or it was a way to confuse harry when he was little and to tell him that by beating him they were just talking. But it wasn't like Harry wanted to think it all over now. Because now was the real time he was dreading.

He was alone in the car with the durselys and pretty soon, he would be on the floor beaten by his uncle.

He scooted over closer to the door so he didn't have to be closer to Dudley, who was giving him a death glare. It had Harry guessing that he didn't forget harry calling him a pig last year or harry getting him caught in the middle of the dementors attack.

Harry did not pay it much mind though, at least now Dudley had a reason to hate and hit him. So as Dudley cracked his knuckles Harry knew that after his uncle had his way with him then Dudley would want to play a little game he called Harry hunting. But harry didn't even know if he would have enough strength to run away and hid from his cousin.

Reluctantly Harry moved out of the car, let his so-called family walk ahead of him, and go inside. He ignored his uncle callings all the way, as he walked with his trunk all the way up the stairs to his room.

"Oh no you don't stupid boy, my little dud-dims needs his second room." his aunt petunia said to him. "So you're going back to your cupboard."

"But aunt petunia there's no way that my trunk Hedwig and I will all fit in that cupboard, I haven't even been in there since I was eleven."

"Freak don't you dare talk back to your aunt! Bring your things up to the second bedroom and set them in there then come down and make us dinner." uncle Vernon demanded.

So once again, Harry didn't have a comeback so he walked himself up stairs and drug his trunk into his old bedroom. He took a deep breath and sat on his used to be bed to calm him. It was no use to him to come home with an already mad Vernon and make him madder. Even if it was humorous to see his uncle turn purple in the face in rage.

He suddenly became very curious as to where Hedwig was. She had left that morning with his letter and he desperately hoped she would return soon.

Hedwig was his only comfort here in this hell hole, she was the only one he had to talk to. The only one how didn't ignore or hit him when he was here and that was comforting. Maybe it was the way she looked at him with her big cute eyes or maybe it was the way she showed him love by nipping his fingers. Whatever it was it made his heart go to ease once he saw her and that didn't happen often for him over the summer.

As if on cue he heard a rattling on the window. Surprisingly he looked up to see the windows we not barred like they were when he left. But then again this was no longer his room so his uncle probably didn't feel like putting up all the security for nothing.

He turned his attention back to the rattling noise to find Hedwig. She was tapping lightly on the glass with her tiny claw. Almost as if she knew, she had to be quiet. It was more likely that she did because she could probably hear uncle Vernon scream all those times for him to be quiet.

But it wasn't her use of prior knowledge that got Harry's heart thumping loudly. It was the fact that she had a piece of parchment on her foot that she was knocking with. At first, he thought it was his own, after so many times of him getting his own letter back he got used to the disappointment. But something was different this time; the paper he had used was a bright white, like all the parchment used at Hogwarts. But the one on her leg was a light brown color. This was defiantly not his own letter back to him, could it be that he finally got a response?

Clearly almost leaping for joy Harry got up quickly and moved over to the window. But it was not quick enough, before he knew it his world was spinning and he couldn't tell where anything was. The world looked like it did when his glasses were off. But as he knew he never took them off, he knew they were still set firmly on his nose.

All he heard was Hedwig's hooting and a thud as he hit the ground, before everything all together went black.