Hey guys I know it's been a while, but I've been really busy. As a gift to all of you I made this chapter especially long ;). Also I noticed I never put a disclaimer so shame on me.
Disclaimer: I only Yoki, the dog, Rowan, the Meda tribe, etc...sadly:(
Shamanloverxoxo - thanks for the name! The names are down to Grim, Blaze, and Cerberus.
XxChocolateXxLoveXx - actually yeah it is in the summary from the first time before I changed it. Those are cute names! Rowan will definitely show up and possibly effect the relationship between Hao and Yoki. I am kind of going for that heart disease. At the time it was the only thing I could think of and if any one goes against the side effects I have for Yoki, please tell me, I would greatly appreciate it. You'll see ;) Oh and thanks for the drawing! I'll post it up on my profile as soon as possible for everyone to see! I also used some aspects of the drawing in here as well.
XBreathXLessX - Perhaps there was a bit of jealousy there ;) Yoki when translated means Rain, hence the title. Thanks for all those names! I will actually get into touch about it, but I don't know if I'll spend a lot of time there.
SK-fan7 - Aw thanks! Don't worry most of those mysteries will probably be solved and don't be afraid to ask any more questions. I have no problem with answering them! Yeah it's going a bit slowly with the development due to Yoki believing Hao won't care for her like that *rolls eyes* (oblivios people nowadays.) Grim is kind of annoying, now that I think about it. Geez he just needs to go and die...wait he's already dead...crap lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter since I took so long!
The moon smiled down at the world, her beautiful glow showing nothing but sorrow. Perhaps she could sense it, if not see it, the death that surrounded everything. Watching how every living thing dies and become a spirit before sinking into the earth. It could be however, it isn't that the death that makes her beauty such a sad sight, but rather she can see it but never experience it. All the moon could ever do was stare down, always watching – such a sad sight indeed – and yet I always find myself envying her, staring up at her, wishing with all my might that I could be like her.
"Little Rain, why are you all the way out here?"
I blinked, the voice breaking me out of my trance. I wretched my gaze from the moon to see father smile down at me; the moonlight kissed his red hair in a majestic like way, while his black eyes glowed under the beautiful pale light. In a smooth motion he planted himself next to me, legs dangling off the cliff I had found myself fixated on the past few nights we had been here.
"Because I am not welcomed elsewhere; Grim has taken a liking to my company and he scares me." I craned my neck up again towards the moon. "This is the only place where I feel like I am not a burden."
"You could have come to me. It hurts that you came to the moon first than to me, at least I can talk."
"Father…am I burden to you as well?" I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "Perhaps mother is right, maybe I should let go already."
"Yoki, you are no such thing but my precious daughter. Ignore the other tribal members; they are just jealous because they do not have such a beautiful learned child. What has your mother said this time?"
"I am weak. I can not do what other girls my age have already begun. Grim is right in telling me to let him have my soul already."
"Yoki, look at me."
I refused, staring only at the object of my envy. Father sighed softly, before ruffling my hair. I rebuffed the action, wishing that everything would end already. I was tired of this world, I was tired of my tribe, I was tired of this life. I am of no use to my tribe, I have no other purpose. Everything, even the glorious the moon in all her sorrowful beauty has become some sort of revulsion to me. At least then they had a purpose in life, while mine was stolen from me by this illness.
"Do you know what your name means?"
Of course I knew. Father himself would always remind me of it hoping that somehow it would console me. His intentions may be pure but it always left a bitter taste in my mouth and a heavy stomach. It is the nickname he and Grim had given me; it was almost endearing if it hadn't been for the fact that the meaning is worthless on me.
"The rain that gives life to this world and can also take it away; such a fitting name for the daughter of the next holder of the spirit, Grim Reaper…but yet you hate such a name. Care to enlighten this old warrior as to why?"
"Father, what use is the rain sacrificing itself to give life if all the rain does is kill whatever it touches? The healers even say that nothing could be done for me, but rather all would be best if I just go ahead and die. What use is the rain if it can't even bring life or joy? I can't take after mother for either way I will die. I can't take after you because the tribe will be in uproar over a weak female chief. In this life, there is no reason for my existence."
"You are young my dear, barely at the tender age of four. You know not the meaning in your words."
"You have said time and time again, that age is just a number." I sniffed, feeling tears rising, begging to fall. "I've learned what my life is and will be within this tribe. Everything to me now has become sickening in such a way I despise every single living thing in this world; humans and shamans alike. Mother has taught me that humans are disgusting creatures and yet who is to say that shamans are not? Look at the way we live, are we not like them as well in using others for our own benefits."
"You are young Little Rain." He grabbed my chin making me look at him. His dark eyes softened as he wiped away the tears that fell down my eyes. "One day you will see the world I see now. The world I see is such an amazing beautiful sight. Every little living thing lives to its fullest even if it dies in the end. Like the leaf spirits on a tree, or the flower spirits, even us shamans and humans believe it or not. My child you just have to find the right people to find what you feel is lacking in this world. Come, let's rest I will take you to see someone tomorrow."
He stood and stretched, the smile never leaving his face. He looked back down at me, a hand now outstretched towards me. Hesitantly I grabbed it, hoisting myself upright. With another ruffle of my hair he turned away and walked back towards camp. For a moment as I stared after him, I wonder if what he had meant had to deal with the woman he had loved before marrying mother. Was she the one who filled the lacking feeling of his? What a powerful woman then, she must be to be able to take away the hate he had held before like all the other tribal members.
I clenched my fists, turning back to the moon. Disgust riled up in me, seeing not a beautiful moon no more but a pitiful sight. As if there was anything like that in this world; someone so powerful enough to take away ones' hate what a foolish notion. This world, how annoying it has become to me. Everything here is worthless. I myself am worthless. Only on ability of mine doesn't make worthless. It is my crutch, my savior, my life; without it...my existence is meaningless.
"You know what this means don't you, Yoki." Flourin the eldest healer in the tribe stated, her dark eyes staring me down. I met her stare and nodded despite the dryness in my mouth.
"We discussed it last night with the others. This was the best decision we had came up with." Neo put in softly, standing tall next to her sisters. I clenched my jaw and gave another nod in response.
"For now it would be best dear, if you keep to yourself from now on until further development in this case is provided." Chlorin, the last to make up of the healer sisters said calmly. "Even though we know you haven't been in touch with them, precautions have been made."
"Of course elders. I understand the situation I am in." My nails broke through my skin as I forced a smile on. I was to be out casted within the village itself. I will be treated as an outsider from now on because more bodies had been found, just like the girl from a few weeks ago. The main fact of the matter though, was that the latest body to be found was a tribal member, Mika, who was one of the last two who held the position of priest in the village.
"Do not worry about me. I know enough to take care of myself. Thank you for everything you have done for me."
"We know you had no part in this chaos, but because you hail from them…I'm afraid suspicion had been turned to you."
"As of now I, Yoki Meda, will no longer harbor or tend to any patients. My abilities will now be disabled until further notice, leaving him to be the last one I will treat." My eyes glanced at the dog that lay in a peaceful sleep on the mat next to me. They fell downcast, seeing the blood that splattered onto the floor from my hands. "As of now, I will be stripped of my title as a tribal healer."
"I'm sorry it came to be this way, Yoki."
"As am I, elders."
With a soft sigh and an exchange of glances they exited my adobe. I swallowed, ignoring the itch at the back of my throat and brought my hands up to my face. Blood flowed freely from the moon shaped marks on my palm. My body began to tremble, my knees starting to go weak. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.
It wasn't fair. All my hard work these past years are nothing but rubbish to me now because of my former tribe. Everything I had learned is worthless to me, because the herbs were the only thing that didn't render me useless. Without it…I'm just a weak shaman who could barely hold her own.
I sucked in another deep breath, ignoring the stinging sensation forming in my eyes. I needed to get away for a moment. I needed to get my thoughts and emotions in order. Staying is starting to suffocate me. I have to get away before something terrible will happen.
Disregarding the tingling pain in my hands, I grabbed my pouch along with other things and with one last look at the sleeping dog I rushed out of my adobe, my breathing starting to become erratic. However, I ended up crashing into someone who was coming in at the same time. A grunt left both of our lips, my things falling to the floor. Not bothering to apologize, I bent down hurryingly grabbing my things wanting nothing but to escape from here.
"Yoki, what happened to your hands?" A soft feminine voice exclaimed in surprise. I peered up noticing it was Aiyana, the second – well actually now the only one with the title as a priestess in the village. Her light brown eyes stared at me worriedly; the black feather tucked in the brown bun on top of her head blew gently with the wind.
"I-I- forgive me Aiyana, but I have somewhere to go at the moment." I spoke desperate to get away from her. I jumped up and pushed past her, only to have her grab my arm. I bit the inside of my lip and looked back at her.
"I'm truly sorry about what happened." She was, I could tell from the sincerity in her eyes and in her tone. But that just made my situation even worse. I felt like a small child trying to be consoled over something. I hated the feeling.
"I'm fine. It's just that there's somewhere I need to be at the moment." I pulled my arm from her grip turning away, only to break into a run. Where I was going, I had no clue nor did I care. Wherever my feet will lead me is fine, as long as it was away from gossiping members, prying eyes, judging stares. It was like my childhood all over again. This had to be a nightmare. Great Spirit please let this be a nightmare.
Why was the only thing I prided myself in stripped away from me in such a manner? They knew me for seven years, after I was abandoned by that tribe. Yet they have the smallest doubt as to where my loyalties lie? Yes I want to follow the way of the Meda, more than anything because that's the only thing that would keep me close to my father and mother, but there was no way I would have their revolting values. I would rather die than become like them in such a way. But, they could care less about that. All they saw was someone that could be a traitor to them because of such a person's background.
It wasn't fair. Herbal medicine was the only thing that made me feel…valuable to them. It was my gift in repaying them back for everything they had done for me. Without it (the thought of not being of use to them) terrified me. Once again, I had become inadequate to a tribe. Would they, like my old tribe abandon me? Would I be outcasted because of my former tribe? Everything doesn't make sense no more. I'm scared. I'm scared of being tossed aside, rendered insignificant because what I had was once again taken away from me.
The world began to spin, the ground coming closer, the sky disappearing. Soon enough, objects clattered to the floor, the taste of dirt in my mouth. Pain seared from my ankle, most likely it was either sprained of twisted from the uproot that tripped me. Tears spilled down my eyes, effectively coating my dirt covered face into something akin to a mud face. I wiped my face furiously with my scarf before angrily ripping it off my neck and throwing it into the ground. A scream of frustration left my mouth.
I pushed myself back until my backside hit the uncomfortable feeling of wood. My eyes shut, eyelids squeezing tight as I ran my hand through my red hair. A sigh of frustration left my mouth as my free hand gently skimmed my freed flesh around my neck and above my chest. The sensation tickled my skin lightly until finally my fingers stopped in the middle, under the small dip* where my fingers felt the small rough skin on some parts. Despite not being able to see, I knew full well that it was still there. The seal that rendered me hopeless in my tribe and sealed away the 'darkness' that all Meda held within them; the triskelion seal, a seal that was a triple spiral connecting together; something I could never forget for it will always be forever engrained on me.
My body relaxed a bit, slouching against the tree tiredly. My heart beat wildly in my chest, creating a small discomfort that was ignored. My fingers dazedly traced the burnt skin, remembering the countless times when I would pass the time away by musing myself with the moon as it traced it.
"My sweet little Rain, won't you let me have your soul already?" Grim grinned at me, his hollow eyes giving me the feel that it wasn't me he was staring at but my soul, thirsting for it. His grin widened as he bent down to where his skull wasin my face. I stared back, forcing myself not to show any fear.
"Oi Grim leave my daughter alone." A strong voice ordered. Grim laughed, moving away from my face to stare at the person who interrupted him. Relief flood through me, until another unknown feeling creeped up on me, disturbing me slightly.
"Papa, you're home early." I whispered quietly, pushing the buckskin cover off of me. I got up, my feet touching the cold dirt to give him a hug. "Where's mommy?"
Papa bent down on one knee, his hand on my hand already ruffling up my short hair. He grinned at me, but it didn't reach his grey eyes. My hand reached up, latching itself onto his red bangs, giving it a gentle tug.
"Let's go see how your brother is, Yoki. I've heard while we were gone no one played with you or cared for you." He pulled me to him, his strong arms embracing me. My hand let go of his hair in favor of wrapping my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his neck knowing that it had happened again. They had killed yet another person and a person from the tribe had died. That's why he was taking me away. They were going to hurt me because I failed in telling them who was and wasn't going to die. Father will be restricted while mother will watch emotionlessly.
Life...life is annoying and useless. Humans are annoying and useless. Shamans are annoying and useless. Everyone in this world should just die. Only animals and plants should live. Shamans and humans alike are worthless; they all deserve to die. Life? It's nothing. This whole world just lives to die; everything is just so pointless. To get riled up over such a thing is stupid. We all live to die, simple as that and yet people still try so hard when there is no point to it all. It would be better if everyone had just died, or perhaps me instead.
It wasn't my fault I couldn't sense it. Just because I am sensitive to death doesn't mean what I say will always come true. But…I happen to like it. The attention I get from them, it makes feel like I'm a part of the tribe, not an outcast. I felt accepted so that's why I still deal with it, because at least I can be of some use for once and not a valueless child to them. This way, my end will still be held up in some way. I hate it though. It hurts me still because if I say it, somehow I still get hurt, and if I'm wrong I still get hurt. There was no win-win situation for me. Never, though, will I say anything against it, no never. It was the time they ever made an exception and paid attention, acting like they really did deem me important and care about me. Even mother, always holding back, showed the smallest hint of a smile on her face. Yes, never will I say anything against because it was the only thing that would show me love even if sometimes it was a double-edged blade that ended me in a pile of blood and enormous pain. It's okay though, because for just a while my tribe finally accepted me and the world didn't seem as emotionless and cruel.
"Tanto give us the girl."
Father stopped, his grip around me tightening. Unconsciously, I tightened my grip as well. In my mind, I could already see the angry tribal members, the grieving family, along with the forever broken fiancé. The scenario was too much the same, engraving itself into my small mind, haunting me at night until I finally broke.
"Over my dead body." He growled back protectively his furyoku enveloping us, until his snake spirit, Kurok wrapped himself around us defensively a sharp hiss escaping his mouth. The changes in spirit tingled my body as father slowly slipped into his oversoul.
"Gladly you sorry excuse of a chief. At least you can finally go to hell you human lover."
I blinked hearing more angry grumblings against father. I buried my head into his neck, a second later feeling a soft pat on my head. My arms loosened as he bent down. Gently he set me down, giving me a half smile before ruffling my hair and said, "Stay back okay." A second later, a wolverine spirit (Tooiki) stood in front of me, a growl escaping her lips dangerously.
Kurok sprang out dangerously, whipping himself into some tribe members. A loud roar was heard, a bear appearing. A hiss of laughter left Kurok's mouth, before his tongue whipped out, his mouth opening wide for a bite. Father appeared at the top of his head, lunging a second later at the spirits' partner, landing a kick to their face. A loud growl filled the air, a tiger in mid-flight, paws outstretched, nails out, mouth widened into a bite at father. Kurok hissed angrily, pushing past a dazed bear, his head snapping to a side when a raven slammed itself into him. Arrows pierced father from each side, blood splattering everywhere. Tooiki growled angrily, itching to get in the fight.
"Father!" I cried out my hand outstretched towards him, my feet already beginning to run towards him. Tooiki pushed herself in front of me, a small whimper leaving her mouth. Tears pooled at the edge of my eyes, watching the snake spirit and his master fight alone against more than five shamans.
A grunt of pain escaped his mouth, the sword piercing his shoulder until finally managing to break through to his back. Blood dripped down his body, but he still kept fighting. An unsettling feeling formed in my stomach, the smell of blood and sweat mingling in the air with something else. The need to throw up rose in me, the smell becoming stronger. Rotting flesh, it smelt like rotting flesh. More than one will die here on this battlefield. I swallowed thickly, pinning my eyes on my father, slowly seeing a black vapor start to surround him and everyone else. He was going to die. Father was going to die.
"Tooiki," I called her name, clenching my fist angrily, feeling the wind slip around us teasingly. The wolverine looked back to me as if understanding what I had wanted, the words I couldn't say. A scream of pain made my head snap up seeing father cough out blood, a arrow lodged into his leg.
Blindly, I ran into the madness with Tooiki inside. I screamed out to him, tears falling down my face. My hands were outstretched towards him, seeing him slowly turn to look at me and grin, blood covering his face. Then I just snapped.
I felt it at first, the my spirit enveloping me like wildfire, connecting with Tooiki. The feeling was amazing. I never felt so free and strong before. I felt invincible and furious. The thirst for revenge overwhelmed me along with the thirst for their blood. It was odd, how I thought that the feeling of their death would calm me, satisfy me, because I was the one who killed them.
A low growl covered the blood-filled air, making wonder where it was coming from. To my surprise, the growl was coming from me. I blinked my hands whipping up to my face, only to see sharp silver like claws on my fingers, a dark red aura surrounding my hands forming a paw. My eyes snapped up to see that the others were just as surprised as I were, but that didn't matter to me. No, my father was there lying on the floor, Kurok trying to defend his master who still managed somehow to keep his oversoul up. A angry growl vibrated my throat, the need to kill them all consuming me. Then my eyes showed red.
In a split second, I launched myself at the nearest unsuspecting tribal member, my claws aimed at their throat. The sound of ripping flesh echoed into my ears, the feeling of their blood on my skin enlightening me. A dark laugh escaped my mouth as I brought my hand up to my face, licking the blood off the claw. I grinned evilly, launching myself again at another tribal member. I slashed at the raven spirit who flittered in front of me in a pathetic attempt to protect their master. Without wasting a beat, I spun around bending low before pushing myself up, slashing their entire torso.
"She's a demon! Let's kill her now while we have the chance."
I stood up straight, my eyes narrowing dangerously at them. I will make it come true. I will kill every single one of them, ridding this world of such evil. Such a favor I will be doing for everyone, now all they need to do is scream to feed my pleasure of hearing them cry for the life.
"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be free? Let me save you from your hate. Dear my love, it's time to go. Don't cry and take my hand. Where I'll take you is a place where you'll be safe. There's no need to cry, I am here. This hate, let me save you; come with me. Don't look back you'll be safe. Dear my love, let's go and never look back. Your soul, I'll save it. Dear my love, don't hold onto this life. Let me carry your soul to a better place."
My head snapped over to the soft low voice. White hair flowed behind the singer, pitch black eyes staring straight at me. Black ribbons weaved themselves around her hair, large bangle earrings swaying with each step, gray feathers tied to one of her bangs, while the other was held together by a small red woven cloth. Her light cream colored buckskin dress contrasted against the blood on the floor as she walked calmly towards us.
It was in her eyes, I could tell, that she was going to end my fun before it even started. No, she wouldn't be able to if she was dead. I smirked, crouching lowly, my lips forming into a snarl. Her black eyes stared at me blankly, stopping in front of me about a few meters away. Suddenly, I sprang forward, my arm raised back claws ready to strike. She wouldn't be able to block it, it was too low of an attack along with the fact she didn't have her oversoul on her.
Pain erupted through my head, my body skidding back eyes wide open. I didn't even see her activate her oversoul. I blinked, my body finally stopping, pulling myself up a second later. The black blade of the scythe glinted in the light ominously, the white on top contrasting against its opposite. She held it confidently, staring me down with emotionless eyes. That didn't matter to me though. If that was her oversoul with Grim, then just imagine the destruction I could with it, if I captured Grim? I grinned evilly, knowing that I just had to get my hands on Grim's soul.
"Yoki, stop this tantrum." Her cold voice cut through the air making my grin wider. "Stay still for me."
"Eh?"
There was rumbling under the ground, my balance becoming unsteady. Before I knew it, I was pinned to the floor, my body immobilized by badger spirits. A cry left my mouth as I struggled against them. Mother appeared before me, her eyes flickering over to father's body for a moment. She then returned her attention to me, holding out a mortar in her hand. When she bent down and as I craned my neck, I noticed there was some odd colored substance inside making me squirm even more.
"It's for your own good child." She whispered dipping her finger into it. She pulled it out and began to draw on my naked skin, right beneath the small dip on the chest. A scream left my mouth as I felt it tearing my skin apart. It was eating my skin.
Then it was all gone, the power, the thirst for blood, the anger. All that was left was pain, an enormous amount of pain from my chest and body. My insides felt like they were being torn apart, my body parts feeling as someone was roasting them over a fire. Screams left my mouth, feeling something rise up through my throat. The badgers released me and I turned throwing up whatever it was. The taste of copper stained my mouth, the smell of blood overpowering me. Then everything went black.
I felt warm and safe. I felt protected and I don't know why. Someone was holding me, but who? They were holding me against their chest, blocking me from seeing who they were. At the time though, it really doesn't matter all I know is that this feeling, I didn't want to let go of it. They ran their hands through my hair soothingly.
"Stupid girl, as if something like that would happen again." He whispered softly, hugging me tighter. I buried myself into his chest, recognizing their voice. "I'd kill them before they had the chance."
My arms wrapped around his torso, my teeth biting down on my lip as if not to cry. He had seen me at my most vulnerable. He knows of my insecurities and still he does something like this instead of ignoring it. Why does he make it so easy for me to fall in love with him? It would be so much better if he just hated me or I him. That way everything wouldn't be as painful.
My grip tightened, I pushed away the memories trying to think of happier thoughts.
If I hated him or vice versa, I doubt I could handle it. Even if he doesn't know it, Rowan may be savior but Hao was my pillar, the one who holds me up. I shouldn't depend on either one, but with their support I feel as if I could do anything; even go against my own tribe. But I don't have long. I will die soon either by their hand or by my own demise. I just don't want to die useless.
"You're far from useless."
Ever since that day, I was scared of becoming useless. I was scared at how I viewed everything. I was scared at how I let my power consume me like that. I just want that love I've always craved for and only gotten from certain people, but I can deal without it. Love and Death aren't a really compatible match.
"Stupid girl," Hao hissed in my ear, his hand at the back of my neck holding me closer to him. "Just live a bit longer until I become Shaman King. I'll definitely cure you."
I smiled a bit, the feeling of happiness slowly overpowering my negative feelings. Even though I won't live that long, it made me happy that he said such a thing. At least I would have memories like this to battle against the worse ones. At least, this way even if it isn't returned, I know my love won't be wasted. But then that is the fawning love-struck girl inside me.
"After you get rid of all the humans' right?"
Alright guys the name is between Grim, Blaze, and Cerberus. Pm or review me which one you want and I'll tally them up and finally give the poor dog a name :). I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please review, I live off reviews. Got any questions, ask and I'll answer them for you! Hope you you guys have an amazing morning/day/night!