Joxer took the training very seriously. There was a determined gleam in his eyes that was sometimes so fierce when they were sparring, it made a tingle dance up Gabrielle's spine. When he put his mind to doing something right, he focused all his attention on it. That made Gabrielle wonder what it would be like to be the center of all that attention...which had that tingle dancing up her spine again. By the end of that first week, he was almost up to speed with her in face-to-face fighting, so Gabrielle upped the challenge the next week by moving around.
Circling, advancing and retreating, it felt really good to spar with the staff again. Gabrielle didn't realize how much she missed it until she had someone to practice with. She went slowly, letting Joxer get accustomed to sidestepping, doing crossovers, and spinning on the ball of one foot while he kept his eyes out for her strikes. His natural grace kept him balanced and by the end of the second week they were moving all around the camp, striking and blocking with lightning moves and working up a good sweat.
Today, while teaching Joxer some more advanced maneuvers, Gabrielle found her eyes constantly watching him. No matter how he might have bumbled around in the past, there was no sign of clumsiness in the way he moved now. He tumbled smoothly through a roll-and-strike. Jumped swiftly when she swept at his feet, ducked an overhead strike, then followed through with a swipe at her own feet, all in one movement. He twirled his staff from hand to hand, through his arms, and around his body with such ease, it was as if he'd been born with a staff in his hand.
And he enjoyed it. That was the thing that had her staring. The satisfaction on his face when he did a move correctly, the glow of pleasure every time she declared they could take it up a level, the almost predatory gleam in his eyes as he went on the offensive, relishing the challenge of slipping past her expert defenses. He seemed genuinely happy. After her own sword practice, Xena often stood at a safe distance with Eve and watched them. She was always ready with an encouraging comment, which made Joxer smile.
His smile... gods, it made her heart skip every time. His smile had always been sweet, in a goofy kind of way, but now it was more confident... more carefree... Gabrielle sighed inwardly as she leapt back to avoid his swing at her knee... it was just more. They were working up a nice sweat, the staffs swinging then connecting with loud thwacks. Beads of it ran down her neck and down her back, but she felt energized, her blood pumping as she stepped forward and swung high. Joxer snapped one end of his staff up and blocked, grinning. She grinned back and swung the other end of her staff up to jab at his stomach, but before it even got close he brought the middle of his staff down against it so quickly, she knew it was pure reflex. He looked down at his staff in surprise.
"Yes!" Gabrielle smiled widely and tapped her staff lightly against his. "That's excellent, Joxer!" She couldn't have been more pleased with him than at that moment, her heart was full to bursting.
He smiled at the staff in his hands, amazed, then looked up at her. Their eyes caught and held for a long moment as they both smiled. Then he looked puzzled and looked away, his brow creasing into a frown.
"Joxer?" Gabrielle asked, struck by the sudden change.
He took a deep breath, then rested his staff in the crook of his arm. "I doubt I'll do any better than that today. How about a break?" He walked over to where the waterskins rested against a rock and took a long drag from one.
Gabrielle wiped the sweat from her brow and leaned against her staff. "Sure." Joxer handed her the other waterskin and watched her thoughtfully as she swallows gulps of water, then turned away. "Actually, I'm beat. Let's pick up again tomorrow." He tossed his waterskin down. "I'm gonna go down to the stream and wash up." He was walking away before he'd even finished the sentence.
Gabrielle wiped the water from her mouth with the back of her hand and watched him walk off. Okay, what was that? She poured a little water into her hands and splashed it over her face, smiling. He's getting really good. A couple times I had to rely on my own reflexes to block him. Her mouth twisted up into a wry grin. I better not tell him that, he's liable to all cocky and... she shook her head... no, he wouldn't do that. He didn't strut or make a big display of it like she thought he would. She'd expected it, had braced herself for it in that first week, but he just seemed to soak up and store inside all the praise and encouragement she and Xena gave him. No, telling him that he was becoming a challenge wouldn't make him swagger. He'd just walk a little taller and work even harder to prove he was a challenge.
She sighed heavily. As much as she admired this new quality in Joxer, a part of her missed how silly he used to be. Yes, she'd found it a little irritating sometimes, but she could always count on him for a smile. He was more serious now, often falling into long silences that rivaled even Xena's brooding habits, though Eve's antics could always coax a smile or a laugh out of him. While he was still the same gentle, good-natured man she'd always known, she found herself missing that boyish sense of humor and lighthearted attitude.
A sudden painful shout interrupted her thoughts, making her drop her water skin and grip her staff. That was Joxer! Gabrielle rushed through the heavy brush toward the stream. Was it an ambush? Was he hurt? She broke through the bushes and glanced quickly around for trouble, but didn't see any attackers. A splash brought her attention to the water and suddenly her knees threatened to give way.
In the knee-high water, Joxer was pushing himself up from all fours and struggling get back on his feet. His pants were soaked through, his feet were bare, and he was stripped from the waist up. Good-gods-on-Mount-Olympus! Gabrielle pressed a hand between her breasts, trying to calm her racing heart.
Where in the world did Joxer get that body? His arms were firm, the muscles tight and defined and wonderfully long. His chest... she gulped, but watched in fascination as he shook the water from his hair and his tight pectorals played deliciously under his smooth skin. Zeus above, where did those abs come from? Her hands suddenly itched to trace those tight mounds of muscle over his stomach, but she curled them into fists and pressed them against her legs. Joxer looked down into the water, frowned, then turned to look behind him... and Gabrielle's jaw dropped.
My oh my oh my, she quirked an eyebrow and smiled. Her eyes roamed down the line of his back...then lower. The water plastered his pants to his body, proving that the muscles there were just as impressive. Gods, she could really use a dip in that stream right about now. She wet her dry lips, about to speak, but he turned back around, a mighty frown on his face. Breathe, Gabrielle...
"Jo--" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Ah-hum! Joxer? Are you all right?"
Joxer looked up at her with a sarcastic grin and ran a hand through his wet hair. Wincing, he cradled his left hand in his right. "Oh, yeah, just dandy!"
Concerned, Gabrielle went to him. "Are you hurt? Let me see." She reached for his hand.
He sighed and let her examine it, totally disgusted with himself. "Slipped on a rock. Fell on my face. What else is new?"
Gabrielle smiled down at his hand, there were many things new about him. His hand wasn't injured badly, just a scraped palm and a bruise across the heel, so the rock he landed on hadn't been very sharp. She ran her fingers across to see if it hurt him, but he didn't flinch, then she did it again... just because she wanted to. "It's not bad. We'll put some salve and a binding on it for a couple days." She patted his wrist reassuringly.
"A couple days?" Joxer looked worried. "We can still train, right? It doesn't hurt that bad. I yelled more from surprise than pain, you know." His injured hand, which she was still holding, turned and gripped hers. His free hand came up to hold her wrist underneath.
Gabrielle couldn't move. His hands were warm and strong and they felt really good covering her hand. She took a quick breath and put her free hand over his. "Joxer--" Her tongue suddenly stopped working, she was caught by the intensity in his eyes.
Intense -- yeah, that was a great word for what she was feeling. An intense desire to have those hands on her... to put her hands on him. The memory of that incredible kiss flashed through her mind again and her blood was surging and her heart was thudding and he was standing so close and those eyes were so... so...
Gabrielle felt a moment of panic and pulled her hands away from his. He winced at the friction, surprise and confusion spreading over his face. Gabrielle stepped away, shaken by her feelings. "Um, you'll be fine. We can, uh..." she swallowed and took another step away, "work on some one-handed moves until it heals." She pointed a thumb behind her, stepping backward, "I'll just get the--" she stumbled into the bushes, but quickly righted herself before she fell. "I'll go find the salve," she mumbled quickly then turned and pushed back through the bushes.
Joxer stood there staring at the bushes for a long moment, then frowned down at his injured palm. He winced again, sucking in a deep breath. His right hand came up to rub at the throbbing ache in his chest.
**********
For the sake of her own sanity, Gabrielle knew she had to slow things down a bit with this whole Joxer-thing. It was getting too intense for her peace of mind. So, for the next three days, in order to let his hand completely heal, Gabrielle eased up on the lessons. After their stretching routine, she showed Joxer a few one-handed moves that he could do with his right hand and arm, then left him to practice them on his own. Since it was his dominant hand, he was soon doing the moves expertly.
She went back to camp and exercised with her sais while she waited for him to finish. He was so calm, so focused, so totally unaffected by anything that had happened yesterday, Gabrielle knew if she stayed, she might do something incredibly foolish like start crying right there in front of him.
It actually worked out well for them both. Gabrielle was able to clear her head, get a little control, and concentrate on establishing a friendship between them again. For those three days, Xena would wait for them to finish their morning routines, then hand Eve over while she went off to do her swordplay. Eve made a great buffer between them as they sat, not close, but near each other and played with her. This made it easier for them to talk, and they did talk.
Gabrielle had been pleased to find that while Joxer held Eve and played with her little hands or made faces or sang silly songs, he'd laugh and joke and chat on and on about this and that just like he used to. Though he would only occasionally glance at Gabrielle during this time, she found she didn't mind at all. It felt so good to be able to relax around him and enjoy his company without any emotional upheaval.
Well, almost. It lasted only until Eve got fussy and Xena would return just in time for another feeding. Then Joxer would grow silent again and start packing up camp. Oh, he chatted with Xena a bit if she happened to say anything to him, and appeared perfectly content, but the friendly, carefree mood of only a few moments before would vanish. Back again was the polite, uninterested Joxer that confused and excited and frustrated the hell out of her. Gabrielle would work silently around him, a strange hollowness spreading through her, dampening her spirits. She would be so close to making a real connection with him, then she'd be yanked back to where she was before... being practically ignored. She didn't know which was more unbearable; that he didn't share her desire or he didn't share her friendship.
Joxer's hand had quickly healed after those three short days and was ready for regular training again. Gabrielle didn't want to lose those precious moments of friendship with him so soon, so she had him practice the same one-handed movements with his left hand. This one being his weaker hand, and having to learn everything backward, it took a good week before he could go through the maneuvers equally well with both hands, switching back and forth and incorporating the new swings and thrusts into his regular routine.
Little did they know how soon he would have to put them to actual use.
Making their way through some foothills, Xena suddenly brought Argo to a halt. She held up a hand for silence before Gabrielle could even open her mouth to ask what was wrong. After a few moments, Xena dismounted and gave Gabrielle a slow smile.
Gabrielle raised an eyebrow. "How many?"
"Six."
A woman's scream came from just around the next hill. Xena grabbed her sword and took off with Gabrielle right behind her, staff at ready. Joxer stood still for a moment, gripping his staff with sweaty hands, then took a deep breath and plunged ahead.
He rounded the bend just in time to see Xena's chakram hit the head of a thug who had just delivered a vicious backfisted punch, knocking out an unarmed man. The thug fell to the ground like a puppet getting its strings cut. Three thugs ransacking a loaded wagon saw this, whipped out knives, and roared as they ran at Xena. Xena laughed deep in her throat and shoved her sword point first into the ground.
Gabrielle just ran right past them, her eyes on the woman who had screamed. Her arms were held behind her by another thug, who was laughing and dragging her back toward some bushes. The woman already had a split lip and the beginnings of a nasty bruise on her cheek. He saw Gabrielle running toward him and grinned, making Gabrielle slow down. That was not a good sign. The thug drew a knife and held it to the woman's throat while he yanked her head back by her long blonde hair. The woman moaned softly, her eyes wide with fear and pleading.
Joxer stood there, unable to move as he watched Xena expertly dodging knives and delivering various kicks and punches to her three ruffians. This was a real fight. With real bad guys. With real weapons. He held his staff close to his body. He had a real weapon, too, and he knew how to use it. So why couldn't he move? He swallowed hard and counted the men. One down...Xena had three... Gabrielle facing down one... that's only five! He spun around, staff outstretched. No, not behind him. He jerked his head around, trying to spot number six.
What was that? A movement in the bushes off to the right. He stepped closer, his heart pounding. The leaves shook slightly. Wait... these were pretty small bushes and why would a thug be hiding in the bushes anyway? Puzzled, Joxer used the tip of his staff to move aside some of the branches of the shaking bush. The wide, frightened eyes of a little sandy-haired boy and even littler golden-haired girl. They clung to each other as they stared up at him.
Gabrielle looked hard at the woman then glared at the thug, "I think you should put that down." She looked hard at the woman again. The woman's eyes were clearer but confused.
The thug didn't say a word, just kept smiling and pressed the knife harder to the woman's throat. A thin line of blood welled under the knife. Gabrielle's breath caught and she looked at the woman again. The woman's teary eyes searched hers frantically.
Gabrielle licked her lips and tried again. "Put it down or I'll beat you to the ground!"
The thug stopped smiling and gripped the knife harder and Gabrielle knew he was going to slit the woman's throat, but suddenly the woman slumped heavily against him. This distracted the thug enough to loosen his hold on her and she slid down to the ground. Before he could blink, Gabrielle swung hard at his head, the staff making a sickening thunk as it connected. He spun completely around before toppling sideways and thudding to the ground.
All at once, Xena punched out with both fists and kicked out with a foot. Three bloodied-up ruffians collapsed into a pile. Xena pursed her lips and took up her sword again. Giving it a twirl, she peeked behind her to check on Eve in her pack. The baby was contentedly chewing on, then studying, her slobbery fists.
Joxer's heart clenched at the sight of the two children and slowly bent down and laid his staff on the ground beside him. "It's all right." He held his open hands out close to his chest. "I'm not gonna hurt you." He smiled kindly at them and was relieved to see the fright fade from their eyes and their little bodies relax.
He looked behind him to see Xena and Gabrielle putting their opponents down and turned back to the children. Pointing a thumb toward them, he spoke softly. "Your mom and dad will be okay. See? Those are my friends. They're taking care of the bad guys." The little boy swallowed, then craned his neck around to see the two women standing over the bad men laying on the ground. He looked back at Joxer and his eyes got wide and scared as he clutched his sister.
Joxer heard the angry growl behind him and froze for a second. His mind went blank and his body just reacted, one hand snapping up his staff, his body rolling on the ground and driving the end of the staff into the last thug's belly. A knife fell from an upraised hand. Joxer swung straight down, bonking the thug square on the head. The man's eyes rolled back and he fell face-first in the dirt.
Joxer dropped his staff and lay there panting like he'd run a mile. He slowly sat up and glanced back and forth from the weapon at his feet to the thug drooling on the ground. He looked at his hands and gulped, his brain unable to believe what those hands had just done. A tug on his shirt made him look to his left. The boy stood there holding his little sister's hand. She held her brother's hand to her little chest and sucked on her thumb. The first thought in Joxer's mind was the boy couldn't be more that seven years old... the girl not more than four.
"You okay, mister?" the boy said, his voice shaky. Joxer's head cleared instantly and he grinned wryly, "Yeah. You okay?" The boy grinned, "Yeah."
Joxer cocked his head to the side and smiled at the girl, "How about you, sweetheart? Are you all right?" Her thumb fixed firmly in her mouth, she let go of her brother's hand and stepped up to Joxer. She wrapped her free arm right around his neck and gave him a squeeze. Joxer felt that squeeze right around his heart as he closed his eyes and patted her back.
Gabrielle helped the woman to her feet. "Are you okay?" The woman gripped Gabrielle's hands, "Jonas... Lana... my children! They ran when those men attacked us!" She looked around frantically, then sagged with relief to see Joxer walking toward them with Jonas by the hand and little Lana on his hip. Jonas carried Joxer's staff like a walking stick, looking terribly adorable as the staff was almost twice as tall as he was.
Gabrielle could feel her heart melting. It was such an appealing image. She imagined the children he held as their children and felt a pang inside that stole her breath. The mother ran to her children and hugged Joxer tightly, weeping and thanking him for keeping her children safe.
The father came to and Xena helped him to his feet. With the family reunited, they learned the parents names were Theo and Della. Theo clasped them all by the arm and thanked them profusely for their help. Xena shrugged off Eve's pack and handed her to Joxer, then she and Theo got busy gagging and hog-tying all the ruffians. Xena whistled for Argo then gathered up all the dropped knives. She wrapped them in a cloth and stowed them away in her saddlebag. Gabrielle got out the pot of salve and tended to the cut on Della's throat. The children sat with Joxer and played with Eve and laughed at her gurgles.
Theo explained that they were moving to the little village of Palinus, only two miles away, to live with Della's mother. They had lived in Athens for a while until Della's mother wrote that her father's horse that thrown him and he was laid up with a broken leg. They were going to live there and help run the farm while her father recuperated. Theo insisted they come along so he could by them all a round at the tavern, and soon they were all headed toward Palinus.
The whole way there Jonas gabbed nonstop about how Joxer moved so fast and BAM! whacked the "big ugly man" and could he have stick, too, and could Joxer show him how to whack with his stick and...on and on he went, skipping along next to Joxer and using his staff to jab at the ground and make long jumps. Joxer didn't say anything, indeed he couldn't get a word in edgewise, he just flushed and rubbed at his neck as everyone chuckled at the little boy's antics.
Once they arrived at the village, they were all warmly welcomed by Della's cousin Ruleen, a tall, lively redheaded woman with a big smile and an even bigger voice. She exclaimed and fretted when she heard about the attack and was heartily effusive in showing her gratitude to Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer. Ruleen then declared that she was buying them all a round at the tavern, and not to argue because it never did anyone any good to argue with her.
Indeed, she never stopped talking long enough for anyone to argue with her. Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer just stared at her, quite overwhelmed. Ruleen was making wide gestures for them to come with her, but before they could be herded en masse into the tavern, Della laughed softly and calmly stepped up her cousin, wrapping and arm around her waist and a palm over her mouth, effectively silencing her.
"You go right on ahead, but I need to see mother and get these children settled at home." Della smiled at her cousin and Ruleen giggled behind Della's hand. She took it away from her mouth and pressed a quick kiss to it. "Well, I'll go along and help you unload the wagon while Theo takes your friends to the tavern. Theo, you tell Melvis to put the first round on *my* tab, you hear?" Theo opened his mouth to speak, but she slapped him lightly on the arm, "Oh, all right! You'll want to get the first one, so I insist on the second!" She gave hugs to Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer, who continued to simply stare at her, and climbed up into the wagon and took the reins.
Della shook her head in exasperation, kissed her husband, and handed Lana up to her cousin. Climbing up beside her, she gently admonished Jonas to give the staff back to Joxer. He did so, albeit reluctantly, and Joxer ruffled his hair and swiftly hefted him up to his mother. The women rode away, the air filled with Ruleen's excited voice and Jonas exclaiming that he was going to make his own stick to fight bad guys with.
The four stood there silently staring after the wagon. The woman was like a tidal wave, leaving a person stunned and unbalanced in her wake! Theo shook his head in wonder, "I last saw Ruleen when Della and I were married here eight years ago. I can't believe how mellow she's become!"
His words effectively broke the spell over them and they all burst with laughter. Theo nodded, "It's true! And she's right, I will be buying the first round. Come, my friends!"
Xena and Gabrielle turned to go with him, but Joxer hung back. He leaned against his staff and told them he'd be along in a minute. The ladies followed Theo to the tavern, but Gabrielle kept looking back over her shoulder. The tavern was full and busy and filled with cheerful voices. Gabrielle got Xena's attention and motioned that she was going back after Joxer. Xena nodded and squeezed her arm then followed Theo to the bar.
She didn't immediately see him outside, or in the square, or between any buildings. Concerned, she backtracked down the road leading into the village and soon found his staff poking up from behind a large boulder way off to the side. Joxer sat on the ground with his arms resting on his bent knees, holding the staff up between them. He cocked his head slightly in her direction when he heard her, but didn't move or speak.
Gabrielle understood his need to be alone now. His first fight after all that training, so many thoughts and feelings churning inside. She settled down next to him, but didn't say anything, just waited until he was ready to talk. Joxer finally just shook his head slowly, "I can't believe I froze like that. You and Xena just ran right into all of it and I couldn't move."
Gabrielle felt a wave of emotion wash over her. It was something beyond pride and very different from those flashes of desire. It was terribly fierce, but at the same time, incredibly tender. Her heart throbbed with it and she felt such a lump in her throat, she couldn't speak, but she had an urge to just wrap her arms around him and hug him tight. She knew she had to say something, so she swallowed hard and put her hand on his shoulder. "But you did move, Joxer. You found Jonas and Lana and you saved their lives." He stiffened, but she squeezed his shoulder, "You did. You've worked so hard and you did a great job and... " Her voice sank to a rough whisper, "... and I'm so proud of you, Joxer!"
For a long moment, Joxer didn't respond, but then he covered her hand with one of his. He looked up at her and Gabrielle couldn't breathe. His eyes were bright and warm and filled with... she couldn't really tell with what, but it was nice and she felt her body leaning slightly toward his. Her eyes flicked down to his lips and saw them curved a bit, then flicked back up. His hand squeezed hers and she felt her stomach flip and she wanted to lean closer... her eyes flicked back down... oh yeah, and she really wanted to...
"Thank you." Gabrielle saw his lips form the words, but it took them a moment to push through the fog in her brain. Her eyes snapped up to his and she realized what had been shining from them -- gratitude. A chill seeped down her back like she'd been doused with cold water. She pulled back from him, but he gripped her hand tighter. She suddenly felt trapped, panic rising in her chest.
Joxer just smiled, oblivious to the chaos swirling inside her. "I mean it. Thank you for saying that. And for teaching me." He shifted to face her, setting the staff on the ground, but kept hold of her hand, taking it in both of his. "It just happened, you know? One second, I knew he was behind me and it all just... happened! And I did that. Me! It felt really scary... but really good, too. So, thank you."
It surprised Gabrielle how a person could speak normally while their heart was breaking. He was smiling at her. A nice smile. A friendly smile. A great big freakin' grateful smile! She had a sudden vicious urge to wipe it right off his face! Instead, she gently extricated her hand from his and tried to smile back at him, though she knew it came out as more of a grimace. "Don't thank me. I may have taught you the moves, but you put in the work. You trained hard and stayed focused and, naturally, it became a part of you. You should be very proud of yourself." Gabrielle quickly changed the subject by standing up and brushing off her skirt. "Come on, we have Xena and several rounds of drinks waiting for us at the tavern!"
Joxer laughed and hopped up off the ground. As they walked back, he chatted amiably beside her about how the village looked familiar to him and that he thought he'd been there before, but he couldn't really remember when. Gabrielle followed quietly behind him into the tavern.
Joxer heard his name shouted from the bar and when he saw the barkeep he laughed out loud, "Melvis! I knew I'd been here before! How're you doing?" While Joxer and Melvis got reacquainted, Gabrielle found Xena and sat next to her. Theo happily shoved an ale into her hand. The air was thick with laughter and cheers and good wishes to the three newcomers as word of their help in the attack spread around. Gabrielle nodded and smiled and raised her pint as toast after toast was made, but inside she felt terribly numb. Xena settled Eve in her other arm and nudged Gabrielle, asking with her eyes what was wrong. Gabrielle just shook her head and took a long drink. She couldn't talk about it right now.
"Hey, lookie here!" Joxer exclaimed, propping his staff up against the wall. From behind his back, he produced his lyre with an exaggerated flourish. "I wondered where I'd lost this thing. Seems I left it here a couple months ago and my friend Melvis held onto it for me." He sat and began fiddling with the tuning pegs, holding it to his ear and plucking at the strings. Gabrielle finished her ale and grabbed another from a girl passing with a tray full of pints.
Several people demanded a song, so Joxer jumped up and obliged them. He obliged them with song after song and soon others were singing along. Voices rose, people swayed, and ale flowed long into the night. Gabrielle watched him having a grand ole time through bleary eyes. Melvis offered them rooms for the night and Xena gratefully accepted. She laid Eve against her shoulder, pulled Gabrielle by the hand and asked Melvis to let Joxer know that they were calling it a night.
ON MOUNT OLYMPUS
Aphrodite sat on a pile of plumpy cushions, watching the tavern through a large oval mirror on the wall of her temple. The view through the mirror looked down over all the drinking and singing then panned up to the second floor. Xena sat rocking her baby to sleep and over on the bed Gabrielle lay curled on her side away from them.
The goddess sat up straighter as the mirror zoomed in on the bard. As a tear rolled down Gabrielle's face, Aphrodite sniffled into her silk hanky and pressed a hand to the terrible ache in her heart. "It is a bitch, isn't it, babe?"