Hello, not so lovely readers. I'm pissed at you. Why? BECAUSE I HAD TWENTY THREE FRICKIN HITS, THAT'S WHY! (If you're new to this story, skip my ranting.)In the course of what, SIX MONTHS, I got TWENTY THREE HITS? Now, I'm not one of those needy writers who demands praise constantly. But, I'd love to know if it's actually worth my time to write this stuff. I have pride, ya know. I'm pretty sure that the Spin-the-bottle fics get more attention. Come on, fanfiction! AND IF I GET ANOTHER 3 HITS IN THE FIRST WEEK LIKE LAST TIME, SO HELP ME THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL NOT BE ABOUT FPFS! On a lighter note, some of you guys asked me six months ago if FPFS stands for Fat Pink Flying Squirrels. It does. Also, I kinda don't like the Son of Poseidon stuff, so my tale isn't as accurate. PPS, I forwent procedure in this one as I simply did not have the will to stay up til two as I normally do for this fic. So bear with me.

"Chiron, do you really think me diabolical enough to launch a full scale paintball war, which just happened to have long lasting paint which coincidentally dyed the entire Aphrodite cabin grey? It would have taken a genius to come up with such a plot. Whoever they are, they must be quite amazing."

"Ignoring your self-praise, the only story you've presented me with as an alibi is that of an epic escape from a fortress of pink, flying, fat squirrels. Can you at least try and act like your innocent? Or sorry?

"It's Fat Pink Flying Squirrels, Chiron, in caps. And I was telling the truth! How come no one ever believes me? Like that new kid who didn't think that I had a mutant goldfish. Youngsters these days, so impertinent… wait, where have I heard this line before? No matter. Acorn?"

"Sylviana, I'm warning you…"

"Chiron, I told you, I had absolutely nothing to do with the paintball fight in the forest. And frankly, your lack of trust wounds me. Haven't I proven myself as trustworthy?"

Jason heard these voices approaching, and tensed while reaching for his training sword. Then he caught himself. Paranoia was hard to get rid of after running around the entire blasted country with all manners of things trying to eat/kill him, AND dealing with amnesia. He hadn't had a moment of peace up until this moment, which looked as if it was quickly fading.

"Frankly, no. Also, there seem to be quite an amount of witnesses who said you organized the entire thing. Honestly child, you should learn to stop antagonizing the nymphs."

The two owners of the voices rounded a corner, and he blinked. First there was Chiron, who looked as normal as a centaur could be. It was the person beside Chiron that caught Jason's attention. He knew he should be used to things like this after taking a stroll through Greek fairytales, but…

"I will when those little flower children serve real meat. Plus, how do you know I wasn't framed? The true culprits knew of your UNWARRANTED distrust of me, and fed you false information to get me out of the picture. Honestly Chiron, you should learn to stop blaming me for everything."

She was short, like a pixie. Her golden-blonde hair fell down her back in waves, streaked with faint hints of neon orange, green, and purple splatters. Her eyes were sky blue, and her face tan. She was also wearing a black ninja costume, a rainbow cowboy hat, and waving around a bag of acorns emphatically as she argued with Chiron. She had some contraption around her head that looked as if someone took an eye patch, and replaced the patch with a monocle.

"You have paint in your hair, and all over your arms!"

Her eyes looked rather wild, and she kept glancing around while fiddling with something in the hat. At this point, Jason wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"That's inconclusive evidence! For all you know, I was covered in paint trying to save the celery-dwellers!"

Jason hadn't seen Chiron this exasperated before. The girl, was her name Sylviana? looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"It's beyond me how you even manage to acquire the guns, much less get them into camp." Chiron shook his head. "Well, now I have to go deal with the nymphs again. Seeing as that will take quite a bit, I think you should cover Aphrodite archery lessons today."

Sylphie paled. "Chiron, don't say things like that! It was just a bit of fun! You can't do this! I'll die! THEY'LL die! THEY'LL ACCESSCORIZE ME!"

Chiron smirked. "I have faith that you will withhold yourself."

With that, he trotted off. Sylaine gaped at him for a moment, speechless, then shrieked, "CHIRON, YOU CONNIVING OLD PONY!"

Chiron's laughs were clearly audible.

What ever her name was stomped past Jason, then paused, and glared at him. He panicked slightly, hoping she wasn't another girlfriend he'd forgotten. She was, despite her ridiculous outfit, quite scary.

"I bet you're one of those tragic heroes, yea? Athena only knows we don't have enough of those. Really, we place much stock by prophecies. They turn out to have some completely convoluted, misleading ending that is great for plot twists, but not so fun for heroes. Or fangirls. Plus, the god of prophesies is REALLY OBNOXIOUS!" She yelled this last part for whatever reason.

"What-" Jason had absolutely no idea of what she was talking about, but could never ask because his bewildered question cut off rather rudely by a particularly loud grumble of from the sky's stomach. Poor Jason, always so confused. Rather like Percy. And Harry Potter. And- hey, are you noticing a pattern?

"OH SHUT UP YOU HIPSTER-WANNABE! NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU FORGOT I WAS YOUR DAUGHTER UNTIL PERCY TOLD YOU OFF? I SHOULD-" Her mouth snapped shut. Her eyes bugged for a minute (enhanced by the effect of the monocle distorting her eye), then darkened. She glared at Jason, then at the tree behind him, then at the sky, then stalked off swinging her acorn sack rather menacingly.

Jason decided he should find a new place to relax.

And thus, Sylvie forces Nico to take her to Olympus, finds Hermes (who owes her a favor or two) and gets her jaw unglued. Accordingly, she stomps over to Apollo's temple and tells him exactly how many ways he is a complete failure as a parent, then turns his chariot rainbow (I'll let the person who guesses what she used to do it chose Sylvie's next exploit. But I really don't think anyone will get it.). With a final rattle of her acorns (for emphasis, you see), Sylvie nods and skips away to find Nico sulking in a dark corner.

I'm serious guys. That was a complete failure on your part. Sad. I will be so depressed if this story dies. It's one of my favorites (which is why it's the only one still going). *sigh* Feel free to review or

I WILL DELETE THIS ENTIRE STORY AND FLAME YOU ALL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just kidding! :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love you so very much!

I hate you.

You are the sparkle in my day!

You abandoned me, you idiotic jerks.

I'd do anything to make you happy, so just ask away!

I dare you to try. Just do it. It'll be amusing... to me, at least.

Have a nice day!

Oh, yes. Enjoy it... while it lasts...

hehehe. Me and my voices, such characters.