The Doctor looked forward to Jack's visit. Not that he was actually waiting for him...
No, he'd spend most of the time tripping over books in the library or resisting the temptation of turning on the stove and watching how the cookbook would burn to a cinder.
He felt stupid. He felt really, really stupid. And he didn't even know if it was more stupid to want to burn a cookbook. due to the possibility that you'd incidentally enjoy cooking, or to give it a try.
The Doctor sighed.
He felt foolish.
He felt human.
But he had to chuckle nonetheless. He'd spent too much time with Jack lately.
And though he'd enjoyed it very much but... He was genuinely worried about the current situation.
There was nothing wrong with Jack, really.
He shook his head and headed back to the controls of the Tardis, locking up the library.
Alright. EVERYTHING was wrong with Jack. But he couldn't help it.
It wasn't his fault, not entirely. He was just... human.
He had instincts; he had urges; oh boy he had URGES!
But, and that was very important to the Doctor, he was very emotional; he did everything he did with feeling;
he was sentimental; he was...
The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair and tried to allay the arising bad thoughts.
The bad memories, down on the floor, on his stomach, in the dark, helplessly...
The Doctor listened to the humming of the Tardis. He sighed and looked at the ground.
With every glance it came back, with every blink it was there, inside of his head or down on the floor at his feet;
the moment where he had thought that he could've escaped; the moment before it had happened.
The Doctor shook his head and took a deep breath while heading to the library again. It was of no use. It was best to forget all about it.
Someone grabbed the Doctor from behind by the shoulders and forced him against the door.
His hearts stopped for a second as he remained motionless. His eyes widened.
"Missed me?"
Jack chuckled behind his back.
The Doctor in breathed deeply. "Don't do that ever again, Jack."
Jack turned him around without releasing his firm grip on his shoulders.
"Oh Doctor" Jack sighed, "I must admit I'm a bit disappointed. You could have prepared yourself for me, really. At least you could have been naked. After all I pay you a courtesy visit."
"You're confusing courtesy with pleasingness again, Jack" replied the Doctor bluntly.
"Same thing, I guess" sighed Jack, "but you're right about the pleasingness, Doctor."
Jack came closer and whispered in his ear: "I want to please you and you'll please me with begging for more and more and more..."
The Doctor pushed him aside gently. "You come to business very quickly" muttered the Doctor.
"Oh, by the way..." Jack turned around to the bag he had put down on the floor beside the stairs. "I got what you were asking for... although; I thought you'd know that you don't have to ASK for my eggs..." He chuckled and handed the Doctor the bag.
The Doctor rolled his eyes before checking the bag's contents.
"Thank you, Jack" replied the Doctor eventually, adding in a lower voice "but I had hoped that it would be possible without a smutty remark..."
"Oh, come on Doctor" Jack grasped him round the waist and made the Doctor drop the bag "I know you're expecting it from me."
"Expecting, maybe" hissed the Doctor while Jack kissed his neck "But I'm not asking for it."
Jack cut him off. "Oh, you're SO asking for it!"
He grabbed the Doctor's tie and pulled him closer.
He placed his lips on the Doctor's and forced his tongue between his teeth, kissing him passionately and undressing him quickly.
The Doctor contributed by holding still. Only when Jack tried to push him down to the floor he offered resistance.
"No!"
the Doctor had freed his lips and gasped.
Jack looked at him in bewilderment.
"Please, Jack" the Doctor put his arms around Jack's neck and pulled him closer. "I want to keep eye contact. I want to see you."
Jack nodded and pressed the Doctor's back against the library door. The Doctor wrapped his legs around Jack's hips and gazed into his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this here?" Jack asked.
The Doctor nodded.
"I mean... I don't suppose you've got a bed around here somewhere, do you?" Jack went on.
The Doctor shrugged.
"Probably...but haven't seen it in years."
"Never mind" replied Jack hurriedly. It was best not to discourage the Doctor. He had agreed to sleep with Jack, by not saying anything against it, and that was more than Jack could wish for, actually.
Jack rubbed his member against the Doctor's thighs and buttocks.
The Doctor gritted his teeth. He felt a bit uneasy.
What if it hurts? , he asked himself, What if it hurts like it had hurt the last time, with him?
Jack kissed his neck and shoulders. He could sense his anxiety. The Doctor was desperate, but Jack didn't mind that at all.
Not that he didn't care; he assumed it to be normal for a Time Lord.
It had always been this way with him.
Jack pushed his member into the Doctor's tight hole and felt how the Doctor held his breath.
He stroked his thighs carefully as he picked up a slow pace.
Jack had often wondered about the Doctor's sexuality. Not about his sexual orientation of course, but about his...urges, for instance.
He doubted that there was even a word in Gallifreyan for that. Usually the Doctor seemed...frigid.
No, not frigid actually. More like... asexual. Or undersexed.
And it was normal for a Time Lord, probably.
But what made it interesting was the fact that Jack could arouse him, he could awaken feelings and urges within the Doctor. And he knew that the Doctor tried to suppress them.
In other words: Jack could provoke emotions the Doctor tried to deny...
The Doctor grunted and rubbed his face against Jack's shoulder.
"Jack" hissed the Doctor and bit his lip "you're hurting me again. Please, slow down!"
Jack was about to concede when he changed his mind and picked up speed.
"Jack!" pleaded the Doctor and scratched his nails across his back.
"Don't you think I know that you're enjoying this?" asked Jack and moaned.
He liked the Doctor being rough on him.
"You WANT me to hurt you; your eyes are begging for more again."
The Doctor swallowed and held on to Jack who tried to penetrate him deeper. But he couldn't succeed.
The Doctor was too tight. He wasn't relaxed enough.
Jack guided the Doctor's hand down to his pelvic area and tried to let him clasp his own member, but the Doctor stayed stubborn and refused to touch himself.
Jack jacked him off, which was funny when you came to think about it, even for him, although he had always wanted to force the Doctor to masturbate in front of him, so that he could watch how the Doctor touched himself properly.
Jack didn't know if this was different with Time Lords. He didn't know if Time Lords masturbated at all. Maybe they had other techniques, or a different rhythm, or different erogenous zones, who knew?
Well, Jack thought, definitely not the Doctor. And somehow he didn't seem to get the hang of the whole interspecies-sex-thing, either.
Jack suspected that Time Lords weren't meant to have sex, or, more specific: they weren't MADE to have sex.
He reminded himself of that every time he felt the Doctor skin on skin.
The Doctor was small-built; he assumed he had a weak bone structure, at least it felt like that; he thought he could hear his pelvis cracking from time to time when he was inside of him; his lumbar spine was inflexible, which made it harder for Jack to push him properly. All in all it seemed as if he wasn't built for sex, at least not with a human being who was hung like a horse.
But every time he tried to penetrate the Doctor it seemed as if something was signalizing "You're doing it the wrong way!" all over his body.
Something tried telling him that Time Lords shouldn't get laid.
And that was what made it so much fun.
Jack felt that he was using him in an incorrect way.
He KNEW that he was using his body in an incorrect way. But it was too tempting not to try it.
And he knew that the Doctor was begging it off him. Although he knew that it was wrong he grasped his body as often as he could, he pressed the chest with the two beating hearts inside against his own and proved to him his manhood.
"So, Doctor" panted Jack "Tell me how you feel."
The Doctor gasped for air while Jack still guided his hands across his body in order to please himself. His back hurt – the wall Jack pressed him against felt cold.
"Tell me Doctor" commanded Jack and let the Doctor's hand touch the soft skin of his own member "What do you feel?"
Jack grasped the Doctor's chin and pulled his head towards his face.
The Doctor blushed and evaded Jack's stare until Jack forced him to look him in the eye.
"Guilt" replied the Doctor abashed, "and shame."
"So, you're ashamed" repeated Jack and stroked the Doctor's erect limb, "Tell me, Doctor, what are you ashamed of?"
"Jack, please stop" whispered the Doctor, but there was no stopping Jack, no, he had waited for so long to finally gain control over the Doctor, over both his emotions and bodily sensations.
"Just tell me, Doctor" ordered Jack, "be obedient and tell me why you're feeling so embarrassed."
The Doctor bit his lip and joined in the rhythmical thrust of Jack, letting his body be pushed harder and faster.
But Jack wouldn't let the silence spoil this moment.
He finally had the Doctor where he had always wanted to have him.
"Are you ashamed because you're being penetrated and brought to heel by a primitive human being or because you ENJOY being penetrated and brought to heel by a primitive human being?"
The Doctor moaned and gasped for air.
"You like being pushed around... or how I'm pushing myself into you...but you know that it's wrong.
And that's what you like about it.
It's wrong, just wrong and you know that you shouldn't be doing this, not with a human being and probably not even with another Time Lord. But definitely not with a simple and underdeveloped human being. Ain't that right, Doctor?"
The Doctor dug his nails into Jack's back and moaned.
And finally that the hard work paid off as the Doctor moaned into Jack's ear:
"Yes, Jack, oh yes, you make me feel so ashamed of myself...and I'm so guilty because I can't suppress those venereal desires, I've got sexual instincts that I can't control and I can't hold back as soon as I feel your hands touching my skin and I long for your touch and I long for you to force your way into me and I want to take you in, deeper and deeper..."
The Doctor coughed and pressed his lower abdomen against Jack's pelvis, he tried to pave the way for Jack to penetrate him deeply.
"I guess it's normal for a Time Lord to be undersexed" Jack went on, "But not for you Doctor, no, you need me, you want to be pleased so goddamn hard..." "I'm not hard to please" interrupted the Doctor, "just go deeper and faster."
"I never knew you could be passionate" groaned Jack, "is this commonly found with Time Lords?"
The Doctor panted and breathed in deeply between every few words:
"The sex urge is sufficient to insure the coming together for the reproduction of the species. That's the way it was on Gallifrey."
"Oh, what a waste" Jack kissed the Doctor impassioned "what a waste just to do this for a specific purpose only."
"The sexual act is no act of passion" yelped the Doctor "it's an act of solidarity towards the species; it's an act of humility."
"Whom are you quoting?" asked Jack.
Their sweat mixed on their thighs.
"Dr...Neakahla" panted the Doctor.
"Well, he makes it sound dry and boring" replied Jack "But I guess we can both agree on the humiliation part" smiled Jack and stepped up the pace.
"It's humility, you idiot!" The Doctor groaned and shivered.
Jack hurt him, he knew he hurt him but he had to. He wanted to feel the Doctor; he wanted to feel his lust, to feel his pain, to feel his anger and his devotion. He wanted to truly become one with him.
The Doctor's shoulders twitched uncontrollably. He swallowed and cried Jack's name over and over again.
He couldn't take anymore, Jack knew. But he couldn't stop; not now.
The Doctor wore himself out; he tried to arouse Jack even more by whispering arousing things over and over again; though he didn't notice that half of them were Gallifreyan.
But Jack didn't care, he wanted to succeed, he wanted to achieve his aim and penetrated him ruthlessly and merciless.
The Doctor winced in pain as Jack ejaculated inside of him and clung on to him, hot tears welling up in his eyes.
Jack rubbed the Doctor's member gently and vigorously and tried to pull his own member out of the Doctor.
"Don't, Jack..." the Doctor opened his eyes and gave him a pleading look "don't...it just... hurts...don't..."
Jack kissed him on the forehead and smiled mildly. "I know, dear" he replied in a soothing voice "but you know: love hurts."
"Don't you dare sing it" hissed the Doctor. Jack chuckled.
"Just try to relax."
Jack jerked him off, but tried to alternate between his own hands and the hands of the Doctor, which he'd guide with care. It seemed to him as if the Doctor hadn't done this... releasing of pressure before.
The Doctor breathed in deeply; his sexual pleasure increased with Jack's limp limb still inside of him and he simply came on Jack's and his own hands.
Jack pulled out of him slowly and grasped the Doctor's hands. He lowered his head.
"No, don't... Jack, you can't...!"
Jack's hot and moist tongue licked his hands clean.
"You're disgusting!" The Doctor freed his hands from Jack's grip and lowered his feet on to the ground again. Jack laughed.
"What's so funny about that?" the Doctor asked furiously.
"Nothing, Doctor" Jack patted him on the back, "It's good to see that you're back to normal."
"Well, don't think I'll take that back, you ARE disgusting Captain Jack Harkness."
"I like it when you say my name like that" smiled Jack. "And I like the fury in your eyes. But listen, Doctor: Don't look at me like that.
I don't think you can take another round. You're still shivering all over. You're simply not made to copulate as often as we primitive human beings."
The Doctor gritted his teeth.
Jack wouldn't stop smiling for the next few hours, the Doctor figured. He breathed in deeply.
Jack lowered him down to the floor.
The Doctor stretched his legs.
They hurt.
His back hurt, his body hurt, everything seemed to hurt... but at least he could convince himself that it was Jack's fault.
Jack always bruised him. But it was alright.
As long as he knew that the pain didn't originate from something else... or someone else, who had invaded his Tardis...
...someone who had invaded him as well...
The Doctor flinched and coughed. He bristled with anger.
Why, why why, he asked himself, why couldn't he forget?
Jack had dressed himself again and lifted the Doctor up carefully.
"Come on, sweetheart" he grinned and carried him over the stairs, "I know you're exhausted."
The Doctor gritted his teeth again and hissed: "If you dare to call me that ever again I swear, Jack..."
Jack cut him off by sealing his mouth with his lips. He kissed him deeply and raised his head again.
The Doctor shook his head.
"Jack Harkness, you are an idiot" he folded his arms "and don't tell me you left my clothes downstairs."
"I like it this way" explained Jack, "You don't even have to take off your clothes."
"Don't think that you can run around naked once you have moved into the Tardis" the Doctor chuckled.
Jack felt his heart beating faster.
"Moving in?" he repeated.
The Doctor laughed. "I was only joking" he explained "I know that you wouldn't like to spend the rest of your days with me; you know, with only one partner, and he's not even human." The Doctor kissed Jack's neck.
Jack sighed and tried to smile. "Guess you're right" he mumbled and cursed himself.
"And neither would I like to be your naked housewife; think about it Jack" the Doctor chuckled again.
Jack nodded gloomily.
"No, don't think about it" the Doctor had to correct himself "You might as well enjoy it."
"I get your clothes" replied Jack and hurried downstairs as soon as he had lowered the Doctor down to the floor.
He returned after a few moments and smiled. He tried to hide his disappointment.
"What a pity" he sighed as the Doctor dressed himself again.
"Don't get used to it" replied the Doctor "I don't know how long I'll stay around here."
He straightened up again. His back was killing him but he tried to dissimulate it by groaning and stretching.
"You know, I've thought about it for a while... just go on another journey, explore the stars and whatsoever..."
"Don't worry" Jack smirked "I'll always try to find you."
The Doctor looked at Jack's wrist strap, which Jack presented provocatively.
"No, Jack, you know I can't let you keep it..." the Doctor fumbled around in his pockets and froze.
The screwdriver.
He had no sonic screwdriver, not anymore.
He'd taken it.
"Oh, please Doctor; just let me keep it this once. It's just not fair! I want to stay in touch with you."
The Doctor nodded and cleared his throat.
"Might be an option" he muttered.
Jack kissed his hands. "Thank you Doctor" he smiled, "I'm sure you won't regret it."
Jack looked around and the vortex manipulator disappeared in his sleeve again.
"Unless, of course, your Tardis wouldn't approve... But I won't use it as long as I'm in here, I promise."
The Doctor nodded.
No screwdriver. No sonic screwdriver.
What was he supposed to do now? Without his sonic device he felt...
"Doctor?"
The Doctor turned around to Jack who gave him a worried look. "What is it with you these days?" asked Jack uncertainly and helped the Doctor to get back to his feet again.
"My mind's wandering" he replied and looked around the Tardis, "as always..."
Jack.
The intruder had spoken of Jack, the Doctor remembered now.
He had advised him to keep away from him. But why?
What had it to do with Jack?
"Are you sure you're alright?"Jack asked irritated.
It was normal for the Doctor to forget what he was talking about, or where he was, or why he carried a golf bag with flamingos inside.
Happened once. Jack sighed. That sure had been a strange weekend...
But it was different now. HE was different. He behaved as if...
"Doctor?"
"Yes, Jack."
"Did anything happen? While I was away... Did anything..."
"It's alright, Jack." The Doctor tried to smile "everything's alright. I'm... I'm tired, that's all. Just a bit weary."
"I don't blame you" smiled Jack "and don't worry. I won't keep you long. I expect you want your privacy, afterwards." He winked.
The Doctor sighed. "Jack, how many times did I tell you today that you're an idiot?"
"Twice, I guess" replied Jack.
"Make it three, then" said the Doctor "You're an idiot."
"I know, dear" whispered Jack while he kissed the Doctor on the forehead, hoping the Doctor would have heard it. But he didn't.
"And Doctor" Jack walked towards the door of the Tardis, "if you're planning on leaving, just remember: I'll might as well follow you."
The Doctor nodded.
He felt dizzy. And something wasn't right with his vision. As if everything was fading to black again...
He gasped in horror.
It got dark.
The Tardis went dark!
"Jack?"
The door closed and got locked. Jack had left, but he had locked up the door.
The Doctor sank to the ground.
He was alone, he reassured himself. There was no one in the Tardis, except for him. The lights weren't fading; he was dehydrated, that was all.
He took a deep breath.
Besides, he was locked in. There was nothing to worry about.
He laid down on the floor. The Tardis hummed constantly.
There was nothing to be afraid of, he told himself over and over.
Even though the Doctor was sure that the sounds didn't change, everything in the Tardis went black.
Absolute darkness. Again.
But he was alone. There couldn't be anybody else. There simply couldn't be!
The Doctor tried to turn his head, but he was unable to move. At all.
He tried to shift a bit, to roll over to one side. Nothing. He couldn't move.
He was losing consciousness.
The Doctor struggled to keep his eyes open, but it was too dark to see a thing.
But he could feel the firm grip on his ankles as someone dragged him across the floor...