Chapter 4
BPOV
Anger, extreme anger. That's all I felt after Edward Cullen, the man I love who I thought loved me irrevocably dumped me in the forest. At first I couldn't believe it, I thought it was some kind of joke and that he was upset because of the horrible turn of events that occurred on my birthday at the party I didn't even want, but no he said I was no good for him and that he was tired of trying to be something that he's not.
He tried to extract promises from me before he left, but honestly I didn't hear a damn thing he said after he ripped my heart out then turned around and left. I wanted to give chase and beg him to stay, to let him know we could get through this and that I wanted nothing more than to be with him forever, but I played the words he said over and over again and the realization hit me, they all left, they didn't even say good bye. The family that I longed to be apart of left me behind. It took all the strength in me to turn around and walk out of the forest and back home. The night he saved me in Port Angeles from those men who would do me harm I told him that I was good at repressing unpleasant things, this was the first time that this statement ever needed to be put to the test.
Knowing Charlie would be home soon I went through the motions of cooking him dinner all the while repeating to myself, you can get through this, you can get through this. I finished dinner, fixed Charlie's plate and put it in the microwave so he can heat it up when he gets in, I did not fix anything for myself because I did not have the desire to eat. I slowly walked up to my bedroom and hesitated as I opened the door, usually he is in there waiting for me, but I know he is not on the other side waiting for me and he never will be again. As I entered my room I noticed my cd player was open and my cd was missing, the same cd that he made me for my birthday which contained my lullaby. Huh, that figures I vaguely remembered him saying it will be as if he never existed. My scrapbook is also on my bed, I thumbed through it and noticed all of his pictures and all pictures of us together are missing. As I stand here holding the scrapbook I feel another wave of anger take hold of me, I feel violated, these things belonged to me. I throw the scrapbook and the radio across the room and fall to my floor crying. After a several minutes I pick myself up off the floor and dry my eyes. I walk over to my open bedroom window and scream fuck you Edward Cullen and slam it shut.
Waking up Saturday morning, I decide that not only am I not staying in bed, I am not going to sit around the house and wallow either. I grab my bathroom bag and head off to the shower, as I brush my teeth I take a good long look in the mirror and I think it's time for a change. I bounce down the steps, wow I didn't trip go figure, and I notice that Charlie is sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.
"Hey dad," I greet him to his amazement. He looks at me in shook, "hey Bella how are you doing this morning," he asks me looking like a dear caught in the headlights. "Well dad judging by the look in your eyes and your nervous tone I take it you are aware that the Cullens have left, so let me give you the short version, yes the Cullens left, Edward broke up with me cause he didn't want to do the long distance thing and no there will not be any long distance phone calls or letters from anyone. I am more than okay with it and have decided not to dwell on things I have no control over," fuck that I ain't turning into Alice ever, I think to myself. Charlie looks at me suspiciously so I continue and explain myself just a little further, "dad I am not going to freak out, I actually had time to think and if someone doesn't think I am worth the effort, I really don't think they deserve a long mourning period, besides it takes two to make things work and wishing for things to be different helps no one." Surprised by my words Charlie decides it's not too late to go fishing and I tell him I am heading out for the day.
Thinking back to my time in Phoenix, I remember what I use to do to not let mom dwell on things that would never work out. I would call her friends and arrange for some girl time, and I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I pick up the phone and call up Angela Weber, and as luck would have it she was headed up to Seattle today to get some shopping in and her hair done, and was going to go with Jessica, but the rumor mills have already started so Jessica is hanging with Lauren, Mike, and Tyler on the rez. I asked Angela if I would make a fitting substitute and she shocks me with her exclamation stating that my company would be better than Jessica's any day.
Catching up with Angela was a great idea, I found out her and Ben have been excepted to UCLA, where she will study photo journalism and Ben will be study computer science. They both think it is a good idea to experience life away from the small town of Forks and find their place in the world. The salon where Angela goes to get her hair done is relatively trendy and I walk up to the receptionist and asks if there are any open appointments for today, when she says no my bubble almost completely deflates until Angela suggests I take her appointment, she looks at me knowingly and says, you look like you due for something new.
The hair genius worked a miracle on my head, I was going to go for a short bob and I swear he almost had a heart attack. When he asked me if I just had a bad breakup and I told him yes he informed me he does not perform major hair 'reconstruction' in the aftermath of a breakup. He gave me some really tasteful highlights and cut my hair in layers but kept the length. In the end it looked amazing and I loved it. Once we left the salon we picked up a few outfits and grabbed something to eat before heading home.
Going back to school after the weekend was almost like the first day of school, I was yet again the center of unwelcomed attention. Everyone was curious about how I would react to the Cullens' departure. Mike once again stationed himself right next to me and asssumed the position of my long lost puppy and because of this Jessica decided to join Lauren in her "Down with Bella" campaign. Angela was very supportive and let me know that she was there for me, she did not pry and did not ask questions but was always there with a polite smile, and because Ben was her boyfriend he always asked me if I was okay. Lunch time, was a whole other matter, I sat with Angela and Ben, of course Mike joined us along with Eric and Tyler much to Lauren's dismay. Lauren took this as an opportunity to put me on frontstreet, which was bad for her because I spent this weekend giving myself a personality makeover, because never again was I going to let someone push me around and inflict their bullshit on me. Edward did that from day one, by treating me like a child, completely fragile and breakable, and Alice, though at one point considered my best friend, did so as well when she acted like nothing I wore was ever good enough, and they both plotted our activities without my input, including the birthday from hell which I repeatedly asked no one to recognize. So I was definitely ready for whatever it was anyone had to say, and Lauren took advantage of what she thought was my weakness with her bullshit.
"I guess the perfect Cullens realized you are not so perfect huh Bella,' she snidely stated.I turned my body in her direction and looked dead in her face wondering if she was through, I wanted to let her get it all out, because I was going to let her have it once she done. "So what are you going to do now Bella, go all EMO on us and get so depressed that you think about suicide and try to off yourself," she snickers. She may not be quite finished but she has just given me an opening. I look over at her and say, "why would you think that Lauren, did the fact that Edward never even gave you the time of day no matter how many times you practically threw yourself at him drive you a little nuts, or is it the fact that no matter what you did to enhance yourself you still ended up looking like a top model reject and a poster child for Revlon's don't list."
The cafeteria erupts in laughter and even her own little posse can't contain their chuckles and Lauren has this stupid look on her face. Just as she is about to make a comeback the bell rings. As I am leaving the cafeteria Lauren yells out, "this isn't over Swan," to which I yell back, "didn't think so bottle blondie." Angela and I are heading to biology laughing our asses off, and I'm just thinking I can't wait for this day to be over with.
I walk into biology and as I get ready to take my seat, I notice that Mr. Banner is not at his desk, in fact someone new is in his place and they're writing their name on the board. For some strange reason this person seems familiar and although he is not turned towards me I think everything is going to be alright. 'Alright students settle down," the familiar voice says, and I see the name Mr. Whitlock written on the board and as he turns around I try to contain my shock as I am looking at the face of one Peter Whitlock.
AN: Sorry for yet another short chapter, but I wanted you guys to get just a taste of how Bella's character is going to be in my story. I can't really stand wallowing and crying over someone who didn't really want you in the first place. Honestly build a bridge and get over it. If you haven't guessed yet Peter is the substitute teacher for Mr. Banner, and his POV is next. Peter's chapter is a little on the long side so it probably won't be up for a few days, I'm thinking Saturday.
I also want to thank everyone for the reviews, you rock!
Insangel – crazy but sweet.