"… and thus, the Ozma regime began."

My hand moved furiously across my notebook as I wrote to keep up with the Goat's words, while my other hand pushed my glasses back up my nose for what seemed like the hundredth time. Sometimes I wished I didn't have to rely on pieces of glass to see. My IQ was over 150, yet I couldn't do a darn thing without my glasses.

Ah! Less thinking, more note taking!

"Now, moving on. The—" Dr. Dillamond had flipped the board around, but a sudden gasp throughout the room interrupted him. I looked up at the board as well and my mouth literally fell open. Written in large red letters:

ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

Dr. Dillamond seemed especially shaken up by this, and I couldn't blame him. Still… that phrase sounded familiar…

"Class… is dismissed," The Goat said, turning his back to us. The other students left awkwardly, but I approached the Goat.

"Dr. Dillamond… you shouldn't let ignorant comments like that get to you," I said. "Well, I always do, but you shouldn't!"

"Miss Elphaba… have you noticed a trend here at Shiz?"

"Well… the popular do seem to walking on others to get ahead, but that's natural."

"There are no Animal students here, Miss Elphaba. And it is not only happening in Oz. This… oppression has spread to other lands as well."

I sighed. "Dr. Dillamond… if something bad is happening to the Animals, then someone's got to tell the Wizard. That's why we have a Wizard!"

"I hope you're right, Miss Elphaba," the Goat said, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "You know, I have been in some need for an assistant in my research. Perhaps you would be willing to…?"

"Well, I'll do what I can to help."

"Good. Meet me at my office tonight and we can get you started."

The sudden trust that Dr. Dillamond was showing in me motivated my next daring action: in Madame Morrible's class, I unfolded myself and stood from where I had been sitting in the back of the classroom. "Madame Morrible if you please, we never had a chance to discuss your Quells, and I have a question about one of them," I said. Everyone turned to look at me, and not without surprise.

"Ask away," Madame Morrible said.

"The phrase at the end of your second Quell; surely you heard about its appearance in Dr. Dillamond's classroom today?"

"Yes. Unfortunate, but Dr. Dillamond is not a poet, and he does not understand the poetic convention of irony. Would you care to define irony for us?"

My hands formed fists. "I don't believe I can, Madame." I listened as Morrible made up some cock-and-bull definition, trying to make it sound better than it was. "So that phrase then… that was ironic?" I asked once she had finished. I looked down at my notes, not meeting her eyes.

"One could consider it in an ironic mode if one chose."

"How do you choose?"

"How impertinent!"

"I mean no impertinence; I'm trying to learn. This is just argument and conclusion, and I don't see the irony."

"You don't see much, Miss Elphaba. You must learn to put yourself in the shoes of someone wiser; to be stuck in ignorance is very sad in one so young and bright."

Oh, that hurt. That last sentence had no doubt been a low comment on my skin color, which I'll admit did have a certain… glow with the effort of public speaking.

"Bright? She's phosphorescent!" I heard Miss Galinda say. That caused the class to start laughing, which was no surprise, but I didn't stop to give a response.

"But I was trying to put myself in the shoes of Dr. Dillamond," I said to Madame Morrible, not willing to give up.

"Animals should not be heard!" Madame Morrible snapped.

"Do you mean that ironically?" I asked, but I sat back down with my hands over my face and didn't look up for the rest of the class time.

"Miss Elphaba, may I ask what in Oz's name you were thinking today?"

"Oh, Miss Galinda, that's a difficult question. Many things run through my mind in a single day; it would be next to impossible for me to describe them all to you, or to pick out a single one, seeing as I can't quite remember everything that I think of in a single day. And besides, today isn't even over yet, so I haven't finished thinking for the day." I could feel Galinda scowling at me, but I didn't give her the satisfaction of looking up from my book.

"You know what I meant. Today, in Madame Morrible's class. The comment you made."

"Ah, yes. About her offensive phrase."

"Offensive?"

"'Animals should be seen and not heard'. What do you call that, Miss Galinda?"

"True."

I sat up quickly, dropping my book. "True? How can you say that?"

Miss Galinda looked somewhat surprised, and I realized that I had raised my voice above normal conversation level. "Well, Miss Elphaba—"

"Miss Galinda, how would you feel if the phrase had said, "Blondes should be seen and not heard? How would you feel about that?"

"Well, I—"

"Would you be offended if you found it written across your wall?"

"I think you're—"

"Overreacting? Taking this too far? Miss Galinda, I was trying to make a point today: that the oppression of Animals has gone on long enough. Your comment that added onto Madame Morrible's low insult made me look ridiculous! I was attempting to take a stand and you turned me into more of a joke than I already am, mostly thanks to you, again!"

"I don't understand why you're getting so worked up about this."

I shook my head. "You know, I realize that you hate me with every fiber of your blonde being, but I know that there is a brain in you somewhere, and when I saw you actually using it the other night… I thought that perhaps you weren't the shallow girl I had originally thought. I thought that maybe there was a small glimmer of intelligence that was beginning to emerge, but it appears as though I was mistaken. So congratulations, Miss Galinda, you have succeeded in proving me wrong, so I'll turn my back and you can run off to your friends and resume gossiping behind it."

Miss Galinda didn't have a reply to that; she just looked shocked.

I sighed and shook my head. "I should probably get going. Dr. Dillamond is expecting me."

I didn't know what kind of research Dr. Dillamond was engaged in, but I was somewhat excited that he had deemed me worthy to participate in it. I made my way to his office, knocking on the door when I arrived.

"It's open."

I turned the handle and entered, finding the Goat sitting amongst tables and desks piled high with books and papers and jars and… it was all overwhelming, and my brain struggled to take it all in at once.

"Miss Elphaba. Right on time," Dr. Dillamond said, poking his head out from behind a tower of books.

"What… what can I help you with?"

"Well, I was thinking that perhaps you could take my notes as I work? As you can understand, it's very difficult for me to hold pencil, much less write."

"Oh, of course." I picked up a notebook and pencil.

Dr. Dillamond smiled. "Ready to go right to it, I see."

"Well, I'm honored that you have allowed me to help you with your research, and I don't want to disappoint."

"I'm sure you won't. By the way, I heard about your… debate with Madame Morrible today."

"Oh. I guess news travels fast, especially when it's about me."

"Apparently you caused quite a stir."

"Well, the phrase disturbed me as much as it did you and considering the fact that Madame Morrible was the one who coined it, I figured that she needed to be confronted."

"A noble effort, Miss Elphaba, but one must be careful when choosing their battles."

"It's in my nature to be rash."

Dr. Dillamond looked at me and I gave him a smile. He just shook his head. "Let's begin, Miss Elphaba."

When I got back to our room, the lights were off and I found Miss Galinda already in bed. I didn't know how late at night it was, or if she was still upset over what I had said before I left. Not that it really mattered to me either way. I had been wrong about Miss Galinda; I could accept that. The semester was almost over anyway, which meant that we would be separated soon enough.

I untied my boots and removed them, tossing them to the ground with a thud. I heard Miss Galinda stir.

"Must you make so much noise?" I heard her ask sleepily.

"So sorry to disturb your beauty sleep," I replied as I changed out of my dress and pulled my nightdress over my head. I climbed into my bed and pulled the blankets high.

"So, how was your night of research?"

"Pray tell me why it matters in the slightest to you, Miss Galinda."

"Well, you were so upset with me earlier. I've never seen you like that before."

"You rarely see me at all."

I suppose that Miss Galinda was about to reply, but it was at that moment there a loud clap of thunder and I jumped, my eyes fixed on the window. Oz, I hoped that leather grip held…

"Miss Elphaba, surely you're not afraid of thunderstorms?"

"N-no. Of course not." Oh, no. I had let my voice tremble with that slight fear. I couldn't let Miss Galinda detect any sign of weakness. I couldn't give her anything more to use against me. There was another clap of thunder and rain suddenly started pounding the window, shaking the glass and threatening to come in.

"Miss Elphaba?"

I didn't move; my eyes were still fixated on the window. I'll admit it; I was paralyzed with fear.

"Miss Elphaba?" Miss Galinda repeated, approaching me. "Are you all right?"

My eyes finally focused on her and I nodded. "Y-yes. I'm fine."

"You look terrified, which is odd. I can't imagine Miss Elphaba the Delirious being afraid of a rainstorm."

"I am not afraid!" I said firmly. I got up and pulled the curtains closed, determined to erase all traces of my fear. "It's late. We'd better go to sleep before other girls hear us and get the wrong idea." I quickly got back into bed, pulling the covers over my head in a way that seemed almost juvenile, but in that moment, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to forget my roommate and the storm and just… escape.

As I was getting my morning coffee, I heard suppressed giggles behind me. I didn't even have to look to know that it was Miss Galinda and her friends.

"Miss Elphaba!"

This was new. They were actually addressing me? I was suspicious, of course. I wasn't an idiot; did I mention that my IQ is over 150? That technically makes me a genius, but hey, who's really keeping track right?

"Miss Elphaba!"

I sighed. I might as well go see what they wanted; I was smart enough to avoid whatever tricks they may have planned for me.

"How may I help you ladies?" I asked, approaching their table.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, we have a favor to ask of you," Miss Pfannee said.

"And is there some reason why I should oblige? After all, you four sure do seem to have a good time at my expense."

"Oh, don't be silly," Miss Pfannee said. She pushed a canned beverage across the table towards me. "We wouldn't dream of that. It's just that none of us can seem to open this darn thing. Perhaps you could assist?

I looked at the can before I picked it up. "Of course," I said, but I was suspicious. The looks they had on their faces… and the way they had called me "Miss Elphaba" all spelled out trouble. I looked down at the can and realized that as soon as I opened it, there was a 99% chance it was going to explode in my face.

"Good morning ladies."

We all turned towards the voice, and I saw that it was Master Fiyero.

"Fiyero! What are you… you can't be in Crage Hall!" Miss Galinda said.

"Why ever not?" Master Fiyero, coming to stand behind her.

Miss Galinda twisted her neck around, trying to keep track of her scandalous prince. "Because this is the girls' dormitory!"

"No one here seems offended."

"But if Madame Morrible sees you, you'll be in awful trouble!"

"Why Miss Galinda, you should be flattered that your boyfriend is willing to risk his manhood to be here with you," I said. "In fact, I'm sure that Master Fiyero would be more than willing to help out a group of pretty ladies in distress."

"Of course I would," Master Fiyero said, beaming.

"Well, it seems as though we just can't open this canned beverage. I'm certain that with your muscular build, this task would be simple," I said, handing over the can. I noticed that the girls' looks went from gleeful to horrified, and rightly so. The second Master Fiyero opened the can, its contents exploded right in his face. Galinda covered her head as liquid rained down on her, being as close as she was. I burst out laughing; they all thought they could outsmart me? Ha! I could see right through these girls, and now, I was the one laughing.

"Really, Miss Elphaba, playing such a nasty trick on him!" Miss Pfannee said right away.

I shrugged. "What can I say? My green skin makes me mischievous by nature. And don't look so horrified. I merely diverted the joke from myself to Master Fiyero. You four gave me that can in hopes that I would open it and be the one covered in liquid, but I saw through that trick. I saw no harm in passing it over to Master Fiyero, and besides, what I've done is far less worse than what Madame Morrible will do if she finds you here." I explained. I looked at the prince. "I apologize, Master Fiyero, but only for thinking so highly of you. It's clear to me now that my first impressions of you were indeed correct."

"Oh, really? And what were those 'impressions'?" he asked, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"That you are a complete and total, without a doubt, empty-headed, jack—"

"That'll do, Miss Elphaba!" Miss Galinda said, interrupting me. "Please leave us be now, before I decide to throw my cup of water in your face, which we both know would be very unpleasant for you, considering your… condition."

"My condition? Are you perhaps referring to my greenness, because we've discussed this, but I'll reiterate myself: no I'm not seasick, yes I've always been green, and no I did not eat grass as a child. Any further questions must be submitted in writing and will be answered within twenty-four hours, except on Sundays, which is when my office is closed."

Oh, Miss Galinda did not like that at all. In fact, my sarcastic reply made her so spitting mad that she grabbed her cup and threw its contents at my face. I ducked quickly, not looking to get burned today, and the water hit another girl who had been passing behind me. The three girls at the table burst into peals of laughter, while Miss Galinda gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, sweet Lurline… this is your fault!" she said, glaring at me.

"I'd love to stay, but I'm just a green woman, trying to make my way in this world, so excuse me for running off like this," I said. I grabbed an apple and tossed it into the air, catching it again. I grinned at Miss Galinda. "See you later… roomie."

"Now, it has come to my attention that you two aren't exactly… getting along."

"Madame, please, I cannot take much more of this! Miss Elphaba is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, impossible to get along with!" Miss Galinda practically shouted, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me.

The Head looked at me. "Miss Elphaba?"

I shrugged, my arms crossed. "I don't believe in saying anything that will incriminate myself."

"You see? That is exactly what I'm talking about! I need to switch rooms right now!"

"Miss Galinda, please, the semester is almost over. There would be no sense in switching you now."

"Well, then, next semester."

"No, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Now that caught my interest as well. "What?" Miss Galinda and I said in unison. We both glared at each other for that.

"Switching you now would upset my other girls far too much, seeing as they're all settled in and such. No, you two will just have to stay together until the end of the year. Besides, you're only roommates. It's not as though anyone is asking you to fall in love."

Miss Galinda and I both shuddered at that thought. Could you imagine us falling for one another? No, no. Can't happen, won't happen.

"Madame Morrible, please. My parents would not be pleased to hear that I was being forced to live with… someone of Miss Elphaba's standing."

Okay, that was enough. "Miss Galinda, let me tell you something. I realize that you come from a wealthy family, and I acknowledge that you see yourself in a higher class, but my skin color does not determine my class. In fact, I have a noble standing. Do you remember the introduction that Madame Morrible so graciously gave me when I first arrived? Because of my mother, I am next in line for the Eminent Thropp. If you really want to get technical about all of this, then I am actually of a higher standing than you, yet you don't see me flaunting it all over the place. If you fancy yourself so much higher than me, then let me ask you this: do you have nobility running through your veins that hasn't been bought, because I certainly do."

Miss Galinda stared at me, no reply in sight.

"All right, Miss Elphaba, that's enough. We are aware of your family's standing in Oz. Now, please girls, you two need to behave yourselves. I cannot have you disrupting the education of the other students. I don't want to see either of you in here again because of this matter, all right?"

"Yes, Madame."

"I can't believe this! She just… refused to switch us!"

I rolled my eyes. "Miss Galinda, really, give it a rest already. There is nothing we can do."

Miss Galinda shot a glare at me.

"My words, duckies! The tension in here is thick enough to cut with… a knife of substantial size," Ama Clutch said, entering the room. "Oh, the window broke? I do hope it wasn't some boy trying to climb in."

"Oh, no. The boys don't need to use the windows. They just come during our morning coffee and biscuits," I said.

"Boys in Crage Hall? An outrage, that's what it is!" Ama Clutch said.

"I agree. Miss Galinda, you should march over to Briscoe Hall and tell your boyfriend what's what," I said, nodding in Miss Galinda's direction.

"You stay out of this, Miss Eminent Thropp."

"Please, please, I haven't come into that title yet, so there's no need to address me with such an honorific." I sat up, pulling my boots back on. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I'm going downstairs. I'll be back soon, so try not to miss me too much."

Okay, so I admit, leaving Miss Galinda like that was not exactly what Madame Morrible would call "getting along", but the blonde just go so worked up over every little thing I did that it was impossible not to torment her. Besides, wasn't it true that she gossiped about me like it was a sport, and she leading the crowd by a long shot. Here she comes, ladies and gentlemen, tearing around that curve and spreading rumors like it's her Unnamed God given right! Watch out now, she doesn't take any prisoners! Pin that blue ribbon upon her chest!

Oh, yes, reading while walking was second nature to me, for all of you who may be concerned. I wasn't worried about running into anyone; people usually stepped out of my way to avoid touching me. Trees were the only things I had to watch out for. This is embarrassing to admit, but once I broke my nose running onto a tree because I had been too involved in my book to pay attention. Anyway, I was much more careful now and—

WHUMP

I stumbled back, juggling with my book a few times before I managed to catch it. Strike that. Days without incident go back down to zero. I looked up and saw that I had reached my destination… and the fruit was curiously absent. I inquired to its whereabouts and was informed that if I wanted fruit, I could very well get it myself.

Ah, touché.

So, there I was, putting a bunch of grapes into a colander when my eyes caught movement outside in the vegetable garden. I raised an eyebrow as I left the kitchen, looking up into the tree outside Crage Hall, where a discovered a boy in the branches.

"What the hell are you doing up there?" I asked.

This seemed to startle him as he came crashing down through the tree, branches snapping as he fell.

"Oh, brilliant. The trees are dropping their fruits early this year," I said.

"How do you do? This wasn't how I intended to arrive," he said, feeling around for something. I noticed his spectacles on the ground; so he needed assistance with his vision as well. I approached him, the grapes and colander still in my hands. "Oh, it's you," he said, sounding somewhat devastated.

Well, that was a fine hello. "Oh, it's you," I said as I drew closer. He looked familiar… "I know you."

"Master Boq at your service."

"You mean Master Boq in my lettuces," I said, handing him his glasses, which he set on his nose.

"How are you, Miss Elphaba?"

"Well, I'm not as tart as a grape and not as squished as a lettuce. How are you?"

"I am considerably embarrassed. Am I going to get in trouble here?"

"I can arrange that if you like. I'm sure Madame Morrible would just be tickled pink to discover that we've had two male visitors in a single day."

"I don't want you to go through the effort. I'll let myself out the way I came." He looked up at the tree. "Poor thing, I've splintered some good-sized branches."

"Pity the poor tree. Why would you do that to it?"

"Well, I had two options: either flip myself through the leaves like a wood nymph, or climb down quietly to the other side and return to my life. Which would you choose?"

I smiled. "Ah, that's the question, but the first thing I've learned is to question the validity. Myself, being startled, I would neither flip nor climb. I would turn myself inside out to make myself lighter, then hover until the air pressure outside me had stabilized. Then I would float back down gently."

"And would you then reverse your skin?"

"I don't know. It would depend on who was standing there, and what color the underside of my skin happens to be. Having never turned myself inside out before, I can't be sure, but I've always thought that it must be horrid to be pink and white like a piglet."

"Well, I do beg your pardon."

"You were looking at the tops of the fruit trees, examining the new growth, I assume?" I asked, an amused grin crossing my face. "Did you see the tree of your dreams?"

The tree of my dreams is of my dreams, and I don't plan to discuss it with my friends, or you."

"But we're more than friends, aren't we? You said it yourself: we played together as children. Why, we're practically brother and sister. You can describe your tree to me, and I'll tell you whether or not I know where it grows."

"You mock me, Miss Elphaba."

"Oh, I don't mean to Boq." I dropped the honorific, to underscore my comment of us being siblings. "I know that you want to know about my roommate, Miss Galinda."

"Your roommate?"

"Yes, are you surprised?"

"No, just pleased."

I looked down at the items in my hands and realized what I had come down here for. "The cooks will be wondering what conversation I'm having with the asparagus now, so I'll tell you now: I could arrange to have Miss Galinda meet you here some evening, sooner rather than later, before the winter break."

"Really? Could you?"

"Yes, but don't expect too much, seeing as she does enjoy the company of a certain Vinkus prince. We Munchkins are… below her radar, but I'll indulge in your request. Give me three days, and you will find a certain blonde waiting for you here."

Boq suddenly grabbed my hand and started shaking it vigorously. "You're a dear friend, Elphaba, even if I haven't seen you in fifteen years."

I would have given him a warning on not trusting me so easily and writing me off as a friend so soon, but he was already climbing away. I sighed. I knew Miss Galinda was going to break his poor little heart, but what could I do? I had already made a promise, though I had created more work for myself. Miss Galinda was, like me, a stubborn one. Still, I knew I'd find one way or another to make this work.

"That took you long enough. Did you plant the seeds yourself so you could have the freshest fruit in Shiz?" Miss Galinda asked as I entered the room.

"I see you are beginning to come into your sarcasm skills. I approve, but it could use some more work," I said. "I ran into your boyfriend, if you must know the truth."

"Fiyero? Did he sneak into Crage Hall again?"

"Oh, I didn't mean him. I meant Boq, the Munchkin who is so enamored with you."

"Master Boq? What business does he want with me?"

"The kind of business that takes place behind closed doors."

"Miss Elphaba!"

"You asked. Oh, and I told him that you would meet with him three nights from now."

"What? Tell me I heard you incorrectly Miss Elphaba."

"Oh, need I rephrase? Let me try again: I so kindly arranged a meeting between him and you that will take place in seventy-two hours."

Miss Galinda glared at me. "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"Oh, don't become overly dramatic, though I know it's your favorite pastime. He climbed a tree in hopes of peering in on you. You should be thankful that I caught him before he had the misfortune of seeing you indecent."

"The nerve of boys! I ought to go tell Madame Morrible!"

"Do that and I'll tell her about your boyfriend's visit today."

"Fine, fine, I won't tell, but you can't expect me to meet with Master Boq. Besides, the winter dance is coming up, and if I meet with Master Boq, as you have proposed, he will most certainly ask me to go, and I hate to see how he'll react with the inevitable 'no' emerges."

"Oh, Miss Galinda, don't become righteous on me now; I get enough of that from my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Yes, and before you ask, no, she is not green."

"I… I wasn't going to ask that."

I snorted in amusement. "I don't even have to look at you to know you're lying. What does that say about you, my blonde roommate?"

"It says that I will not be keeping this arrangement you have set up."

I looked up at the blonde, and grinned slightly. "Never say never, Miss Galinda. Three days is a long time, and, as you'll discover, I can be a very persuasive person."

Miss Galinda crossed her arms, and I knew what this had turned into. It would be a battle of wills. Whoever could hold out the longest would be the winner…

And I was not one to lose.

So, Miss Galinda has declared war now, has she? Well, if she knew me at all, she would have known that I never back down from a challenge, and I am not one to surrender to someone of lower intelligence than myself. I have been made capable by my upbringing. Outlasting Miss Galinda will be easy; living with her afterwards would be the hard part.