Good guesses on the identity of the brunette, but no one got it right (Inserts evil snicker). It was someone that appeared on the show before though. Read on to find out who…

Chapter 4

Jamie was completely exhausted both mentally and physically by the events of the day as he stepped off the elevator and made his way to his apartment door. It was the first time he was back since he'd been in the hospital. Eddie had been stopping by a few times a week to pick up the mail and water the few houseplants he'd managed to keep alive after Sydney left. His refrigerator had been cleaned out long ago and Danny brought his clothes and personal items to him when needed. He turned the key in the lock and pushed his way in, throwing his paperwork on the kitchen table. It felt strange to be here alone and oddly depressing. He made his way down the hall into the bathroom and paused to splash cold water on his face when he was finished, as always, a little surprised at the gaunt eyes that stared back in the mirror. "Jesus, I do look bad," he thought. No wonder she barely recognized him at the cafe. God that had been a shock on top of everything else that had happened today.

He returned to the living room and made his way over to a small closet, hesitating before pulling a storage box down off the top shelf and setting it on the coffee table. He rummaged through it for a few seconds before lifting out a framed photo taken during a visit his first year at Harvard. Those same crystal blue eyes stared back from a smiling face, nestled in the center of a campus bench between him and his brother Joe. He put the photo down on the table and sank back in the chair, staring at it. So much had changed. If he could only go back to that innocent time, before his mother had grown ill with cancer, before Joe had been killed that terrible night. So many things would be different now.

Pulling out his phone, he turned it back on and saw that it was nearly four-thirty. Eddie should be there any minute. He sighed guiltily at the number of messages and missed calls from his family and decided to send one short group text letting them all know he was okay here at his apartment and would be back at the house this evening. Hopefully that would appease them all for a bit, although he knew that would not really be the case, and his father, in particular, was probably quite angry by now. The other details would just have to wait. He silenced it again and set the phone down as his eyes slid closed and he finally allowed himself to give in to utter bone tired weariness.

He was still sitting there slouched in the chair when Eddie finally arrived an hour later.

She quietly let herself in, having stayed at the bar for a second round. The jealous insecurity she felt after seeing Jamie with the woman at the cafe was somewhat tempered by the alcohol and the sight of him collapsed in such a deep sleep. He looked completely spent. She did not notice the photo as it was on the opposite side of the table facing away from her. Instead she wandered into the kitchen to put down the food she'd brought back with her. She glanced at the papers on the table and was surprised to see more scripts for medication and appointment cards for the cardiologist. She froze instantly. His heart, she shuddered as her hand came up to cover her mouth, was there something wrong with his heart? She remembered the scary moments standing out in the hall when he was in the hospital on the ventilator and the doctors had struggled to control the arrhythmias. His heart hadn't been 'happy' the doctor had said. He hadn't called her back after his appointment today. What if...? Eddie's frightened eyes flew over to Jamie's frail form lying there on the other side of the room. Suddenly the identity of that brunette didn't matter at all anymore. She rushed over to his side and kneeled down by the chair, gently shaking his arm.

"Jamie, hey," she spoke softly. "Jamie, please wake up and talk to me."

His eyelids fluttered and he looked surprised to see her there. He blinked heavily and rubbed his face and offered her a small smile, "Hi there," he said, putting his arm on her shoulder. "Missed you today."

"Yeah, me too," Eddie replied. "I worried when I didn't hear from you after your appointment." She watched his face carefully for any emotions and her heart fell when she saw a look of defeat in his eyes as he turned away, unwilling to face her. "What is it Jamie? What did the doctor say? Why do you have an appointment with the cardiologist? Please talk to me," she implored.

"Oh, um it's nothing," he lied, not really believing she would accept his answer. "Really, she said it was just a precaution. Something showed up in one of the scans or blood tests or something and they just want to check it again in a couple of weeks." He squirmed a little as he sat up in the chair.

"Reagan," she said shaking her head, "that's not it and you know it. You have a terrible poker face. I know something is wrong, now what is it? Please tell me."

Jamie just shook his head and leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. "I can't," he said sadly. "I don't think I will be able to... just needed to think..." he trailed off staring at the photo on the table; those happy faces reflecting back at him.

Eddie followed his gaze and realized with a start that it was the woman from the cafe pictured sitting between Jamie and his older brother Joe at Harvard; both of them smiling with their arms wrapped around her shoulders. It could only be one person from Jamie's past and she was obviously back in town. Eddie took a deep breath and put her head down. She had to know. "Jamie, who is that in the photo with you and Joe? Is it Syd..."

"Angela," Jamie interrupted softly, "It's Joe's girl, Angie. I... I ran into her today when I was sitting at the cafe down on ninth. I stopped there to think. I just needed to think after..." He paused for an uncomfortable time, his eyes blank and unreadable. "She's back in town for a friend's wedding and was walking by and barely recognized me." He gave a sad laugh sitting back in the chair. "She was like my sister at one time, and she barely recognized me and told me I looked like hell."

Eddie was speechless. The pain in Jamie's voice was fully evident. "I haven't seen her since just after I came out of the academy, you know. She left and went back to Portland because it was too hard when Joe..." he paused, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. "She's married to someone else now. He's a real estate agent. They're expecting a baby in a few months. I... want to be happy for her, she deserves it... it's just hard, you know? To see everything Joe's missed out on. Everything that's changed now."

Eddie's heart broke. She felt terrible for the thoughts she had allowed to take over and the mistrust she'd had. She stood and moved over to sit on the chair arm, wrapping herself around Jamie and holding him tight. "Oh God," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"I can't Eddie," he whispered. "Eddie, I don't think I can be a cop anymore."

"What?" she asked looking at him in shock.

Jamie just leaned back, shaking his head a little. "I can't. They won't clear me until Christmas even if this heart thing is nothing... all the blood thinners and medication I'm on..." He looked down, fiddling with the fabric on the chair arm. "According to guidelines I'm not even allowed to sit there and answer the phones. They're afraid I might bleed to death if I get a paper cut."

Eddie sat back, trying to absorb what he was saying, "But afterwards, you said they would clear you so..."

"I'll be broke by then," Jamie said with a sad frown. "All the hospital bills... rent for this place. I've used everything else to finish paying off my school loans... I won't have anything left. I can't live like this anymore... paycheck to paycheck with no hope of promotion." He stopped and looked up at her. "And if I can't go back on the job... if something is really wrong with my heart... disability pension is a joke. Less than twenty thousand a year. It's not just me anymore. It's us. I want more for us."

"But I can help you," Eddie said tearing up, her hand drifting to the side of his face, pulling it towards her, forcing him to look at her. "Your family will help you too. You love being a cop. It's what you were meant to do."

"It's what I did," Jamie said flatly. The plan had clicked into place. He glanced back down at the photo; that piercing smile and those excited blue eyes he had seen again today. Angie had done it. She had moved past Joe's death; so could he. "Sometimes we have to deal with what life throws at us and move on to be happy again," he echoed her words. "I have another option. There's nothing wrong with that."

Eddie knew exactly what he was planning to do. "Would you enjoy being a lawyer again?" she asked quietly. Her heart was broken for him. Jamie was the best patrol officer she had ever known. It was an integral part of who he was and he had a knack for it. Police work was quite obviously in his blood.

"Only the extra zeros on my paycheck," he quipped, trying to lighten the mood. "But that will do for now. C'mon, I didn't eat much all day and my nutritionist told me that was bad for me. Yes, I have someone else to tell me I'm not eating enough now. Isn't that great? I know you picked up something for me, you always do. I love you Edit Janko, and we're going to get through this."