4 - Childhood

The second day of the flower show dawned warmer than the first, but Mai still felt underdressed.

She was wearing a sunshine yellow outfit today - the worst possible color to pair with her pale skin and hair so black people sometimes mistook it for a premonition of impending doom - and once again giving the world a rare look at her bare limbs. The outfit completely lacked sleeves, and paired a short skirt with a long outer robe to give the illusion of modesty while completely failing to cover her legs to anyone interested in the matter.

Mai hated being this exposed, but it was important that she be visibly unarmed, and familiar with her knew just how many different small weapons could be hidden in a sleeve or trouser leg.

If there were assassins here at the flower show, Mai wanted them to dismiss her as a threat.

At least her yellow clothes (with pink flowers embroidered on them, to Ty Lee's delight and Mai's exasperation) blended well with the display that she and Aunt Mura had created for today. It was basically the same as the day before, but they swapped out the flowers that were beginning to droop or wilt, freshened up the scattered petals, and added some additional blossoms in a variety of shades of blue. It cooled the feel of the overall assembly, somewhat, while at the same time giving it a bolder and fresher look, since the color was rarely featured in Fire Nation art. It certainly drew some oohing and ahhing from visitors, and at least one person declared it to be the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. That alone proved that Aunt Mura was a true artist.

When Suki came by the display, just after the show opened, she had said, "Oh. It- it kind of makes me think of Sokka." Which was probably meant to be a compliment, but Mai was making no assumptions.

Suki was there, of course, with Zuko, acting as his bodyguard. Zuko had offered compliments of a much more vague nature, and completely avoided making eye-contact with Mai.

It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did.

She was still bothered, hours later, when Pangfua dropped by (with a red-eyed and drippy-nosed Kyoshi Warrior Chijin as her bodyguard). It was the first time Mai had seen the girl not hanging off Zuko like a viper-leech.

"Wow," Pangfua breathed as she stepped into display space. She was wearing pink again today, making her stand out amidst all the blue. "You're using color to challenge my emotional expectations while subverting my inevitable resistance with a classical foundation that combines to promote intellectual stimulation. Very nice!"

("HAAAAAACHPLOOOOOOOOOO," added Chijin. "Sawby. Owahgies.")

Aunt Mura tittered. "The way you describe it, my lady, I might have done that on purpose. I like the way the blue makes me feel, and with today being more crowded than yesterday, I thought it was a good feeling to share."

Before she could stop herself (and after a sympathetic nod to Chijin), Mai added, "I had no idea you were such an intellectual, truly."

Pangfua beamed, apparently not insulted. "Flowers are my grandmother's passion, and I couldn't really help learning about the art of arranging them. I think it's all okay, but I have to admit that we have some spectacular visuals here at the show this year."

"Oh, it's all amazing, my lady. You must convey my thanks to your moving for inviting me to present here. There are even people adding torches and dancing poodle-monkeys to their arrangements!" Aunt Mura motioned upward, as if this was the height of horticulture, and sighed. "I'll have to step up my game."

Pangfua offered a shrug. "Not necessarily. The Best in Show will be requested to build me a dress out of flowers for my Social debut, tomorrow. I would rather not have to worry about real fire or dancing animals. I'm even less interested in extreme fashion than weird floral displays."

Well, Mai could acknowledge that as a good point. "So what is your passion?" She successfully resisted the urge to add, "Besides your second cousin the Fire Lord, I mean."

Pangfua's smile grew wistful. "I like music. Not just music that's nice to listen to, but all kinds. The new Colonial Influence is my favorite trend right now, and I've always tried to attend as many Muzika Kai matches as I can. It's a very exciting time right now for music, actually."

Huh. Mai would not have expected someone of Pangfua's class to be into the new Colonial Influence stuff. The nobility generally considered that kind of industrial sound to be a crime against culture. Kind of like the heavy use of blue or green. "Interesting tastes."

Pangfua's gaze returned to ground level, and the smile she turned to Mai became decidedly sharp. "Thank you. I truly feel like we're kindred spirits, in that way." It softened again, and she looked to Aunt Mura. "But don't worry about trying to compete with the dancing poodle-monkeys. Keep this between us, but my grandmother is heavily considering your display for Best in Show."

Aunt Mura gasped, and covered her mouth with her hands. "Truly?"

Pangfua winked. "But you didn't hear that from me." She looked back at Chijin, who had just sneezed again. "Maybe say that this girl gave it away."

Aunt Mura gave a shaky nod. "Are- are you sure? It's just that I'm only a working florist, and some of the displays here-"

Pangfua gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "Yeah, they're fancy, but those are just gimmicks. Grandmother prefers when people do more with less. It shows more advanced skill."

Mai was happy for her Auntie, but couldn't help but wonder why Clingy Girl was being so friendly. "Not a bad philosophy. It's why I've always preferred knives to swords. But I admit I'm curious about the dancing poodle-monkeys."

"Ooh, do you want to come see with me?!" Pangfua trotted over to Mai and took her hands. "I could show you, and we could talk and become friends! Ah, and I can paint some pink cherry blossoms on your arms and legs! I brought my paints, and it will look so pretty with your clothes! It would be a nice way to get to know each other better!"

Ugh, Mai couldn't think of anything worse (that didn't involve a violent encounter with Azula) than spending more time with this girl and being body-painted, but technically Pangfua was one of her patrons right now, and one did not insult the people who were paying for the fresh flowers set to be delivered tomorrow morning.

But Pangfua was apparently a big part of Zuko's life now. "Well, uh, I have to work-"

"Oh, it's fine, Mai, go see the monkeys." Aunt Mura winked. "I think it would be good for you two to become better friends. Get some lunch while you're away, and just be back before the afternoon crowds arrive."

"Hooray," Pangfua squeaked, squeezing Mai's hands but thankfully stopping short of a full hug.

Mai had no idea why Auntie was betraying her like this, but she could hardly escape now. "Um, okay. Let's go see the monkeys, then."

The dancing poodle-monkeys were impressive, but Mai couldn't really discern the connection to horticulture. She was a bit more taken by another display with a full fire fountain as the centerpiece, a big blaze generated by a gas torch that sent light dancing across the flowers below, but the most impressive part was the mystery of how the flowers weren't wilting in the heat.

Then they grabbed lunch, Mai leading the way to a vendor selling sizzle rolls and Pangfua, surprisingly, ordering two bags for herself. But then, perhaps that was the point. Mai was off-balance enough - between the tasty food and getting to see Lady Yuying's daughter shove a whole sizzle roll in her mouth - that afterward she didn't realize until it was too late that Pangfua had dragged her to the 'Special Guest pavilion,' sat her down, and began painting pink cherry petals on one of her arms.

It was like a day out with Ty Lee, only with no promise of going out looking for fights at the end.

The only thing Mai could think to say was, "Why cherries?"

Pangfua giggled. "I love cherry blossoms, don't you? They're so pretty and pink and romantic! My sixteenth birthday was a few weeks ago, right when the trees began to blossom. I had to wait for the flower show to make my Social Debut, but this way I can still have cherry petals around. Zuko promised to let me paint some on the back on his hands tomorrow."

"Did he? Wow."

Mai had failed to fake any enthusiasm, but Pangfua didn't seem to mind. She just kept tickling Mai's bare arms with her set paintbrush.

Then she said, "So what're your deal?"

(Nearby, Chijin sneezed, hiccupped, and sniffled.)

Mai immediately went into combat mode, her face going blank and her mind picking out vectors. "Pardon?"

Pangfua waved impatiently with her free hand. "I've been asking around. I know about you serving Princess Azula, and then betraying her for Zuko. People say you're a gold-digging wh- courtesan who saw the defeat of the Old Regime coming and threw in with the more powerful side."

"Yes." Mai kept her expression completely neutral. "I've heard that, too."

Pangfua deftly created a new pink petal near Mai's elbow out of nothing but a few flicks of her brush. "How those stupid gossipers reconcile that with you trying to sacrifice your life at the Boiling Rock, I have no idea, never mind how everyone knows that you dumped Zuko two years ago."

Mai gave a single-shoulder shrug. "People are people, I guess." It was a fairly safe statement.

"They are, aren't they? But still leaves you as a mystery."

Mai had learned much, since the end of the war, about how to be a functional human being who didn't need to stab people to maintain a will to live. She was glad for that knowledge, and put it to use every day.

But sometimes, she still needed the lessons she'd had forced on her by Azula. Like, for example, tricking an enemy who was expecting you to retreat by attacking with an intent to kill.

So Mai said, "I'm a delicate introvert whose spirit was battered into cynicism over the course of a miserable childhood. Now, I chase fleeting thrills by getting into fights and flouting social expectations. Ironically, I fall back onto displaying grace and politeness whenever I want to hide the feelings that render me vulnerable, making me either a hypocrite or a transgressive performance artist. I also really like throwing sharp metal through the air, but surprisingly enough, that has nothing to do with my various issues. I just like it. So, what's your deal?"

Pangfua blinked, frozen in the middle of laying down a cherry blossom on Mai's porcelain skin.

Mai leaned forward and smiled like a pythonaconda. "You asked."

(Chijin sneezed amidst her chuckling.)

Pangfua blinked again. "I- yes, I did. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you to really try to answer." She focused on finishing the swirl of cherry blossoms now winding their way up Mai's forearms.

Mai couldn't help but notice how young Pangfua seemed right now, caught off-balance by some snarky conversation and coping by painting stupid little flowers. And yet she was sixteen. At fifteen, Mai had marched into The Impenetrable City with nothing but a stolen disguise and Azula's tactical genius to conquer the largest nation in the world. She was only eighteen now, just two years Pangfua's senior. Pangfua was a legal adult in the Fire Nation, able to marry and own property and go to war.

She had no business making Mai feel old.

But, on the other hand, Mai had no nostalgia for her childhood. She'd brought along the only good things about it.

Except for Zuko.

Was that a case of leaving behind something that had hurt her, or losing track of one of the few things that had helped her survive?

Maybe maturing was realizing that sometimes it could be both.

Was it possible for Zuko to maybe become one or the other? If Mai helped him understand-

Wouldn't the adult thing to be to try?

"There, finished," said Pangfua. She blew on Mai's arms, sure enough, a swirl of painted pink petals appeared to have been swept by the wind across the pale skin.

Mai could think of eight different melodramatic metaphors she could have made out of cherry blossoms, half of them bemoaning her ascension into adulthood, three optimistically looking back at childhood with pride at having survived, and one of them a fairly stupid sex joke.

So Mai just stood up and said, "Thanks, kid. They're not at all my style, but they look nice."

Pangfua rose as well. "You're welcome, but I'm not a kid. If we're going to be friends, you're going to have to acknowledge that."

"Your social debut isn't until tomorrow." Mai gave a dismissive wave, and it was like a flurry of blossoms swept across the space between them. "You're not allowed to do anything fit for my kind of nastiness until tomorrow."

And Pangfua blanched at that. "Oh- uh- right. Tomorrow. Yes."

Mai had no idea what that was about, and didn't particularly care. She bobbed her head and said, "See you then."

As she walked away, Chijin sneezed.

TO BE CONTINUED