Larxene: Hi, everyone! Now since Sound Slayer's away. The rest of the Organization wants some little fun! It's Larxene, the new host!
Xion: And Xion too. The other female member of the Organization!
Roxas: How do I know you're actually female? You know, you were defined as "an incomplete replica of Sora that took on the form of Kairi".
Xion: Shut up, Roxas or I'll shove my keyblade into that big mouth of yours.
Larxene: Guys! Stop it! We have to exploit the moment that Sound Slayer isn't here. He's watching our death scenes, remember? Because he wants to write the next chapter of his silly other story.
Demyx: Hi, guys! What are you all doing? Looking all pretty energetic now, are we?
Roxas: What are you doing here?
Demyx: Don't know. Just wondering what you were all doing here.
Xion: Shut up, Demyx! We're trying to start a silly show in the middle of Sound Slayer's bashing fic!
Demyx: Oh! Can I sing? First I was afraid. I was petrified, thinking I could… mfffft!
Roxas: Shut up! And geez, your mouth is like full of saliva.
Demyx: Hello? Water is my element! I'm supposed to be "watery".
Zexion: What's all the commotion? I'm trying to read. Demyx, please quiet down. I can hear you sing Tina Turner even if the door to my room is closed.
Saix: What's the racket? I was giving Master Xemnas a massage. And the annoying noise suddenly interrupted his relaxation.
Larxene, Roxas, Demyx, Xion and Zexion: What!?! You give massages?
Xigbar: Hey! Who said something about messages? Somebody's been leaving notes in my closet!
Xaldin: Hello, guys! Just checking if you're all asleep or something. What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Zexion: Isn't that illogical? A pig can't learn karate.
Xaldin: PORKCHOP! HAHAHAHAHA!
Larxene: Okay… that was lame.
Xion: Totally. That was like Riku and Sora making lame funny faces at each other.
Roxas: I thought you never met Sora!
Xion: Dude, this is fanfiction. Deal with me!
Demyx: Just dance! Gotta be okay. Da-da-doo-dum. Just dance! Spin that record, babe. Da-da-doo-dum.
Xaldin: Why did Axel cross the road with a flaming stick twice?
Axel: Hey! I heard my name! What's the racket here?
Xigbar: I don't know, Xaldin. What is it?
Xaldin: Because he's a hot double-crosser! HAHAHAHA!
Axel: Okay. That was so right. And I am SO FLATTERED!
Larxene: Guys?
Marluxia: Has anyone seen the packet of foxglove seeds?
Roxas: Okay... why is everybody going here?
Saix: What's a foxglove?
Marluxia: It's a poisonous plant. Where are my seeds?
Xaldin: Those were foxglove seeds? I thought they were candy!
Larxene: Great… looks like Xaldin's going to die of poisoning.
Xion: Nobodies cannot die of poisoning! You guys die when you use up too much energy or lose too much of it!
Roxas: Axel? Why are you looking at me like that?
Axel: Why? Don't you just love me?
Larxene: Get a room, you guys!
Demyx: Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon. You come and go. You come and go. Loving would be easy if…
Zexion: Is anyone listening to me? I want some peace and quiet to read.
Saix: Everybody, if you don't keep it down, the Superior will be heading here and you will all be reprimanded.
Luxord: Greetings, everyone. I heard there was a party here!
Vexen: For goodness sake, your noise is making the whole place shake. My test tubes have all fallen on the floor.
Xion: Roxas! Axel! Good Kingdom Hearts! Get a room!
Demyx: Love me, hate me. Say what you want about me! All of the girls and all of the boys are begging to if you seek a Roxas.... Actually only Axel does.
Saix: Is anyone listening to me?
Marluxia: You owe me munny, Xaldin.
Larxene: Guys? Hello?
Xemnas: What is wrong with you guys? I only told Saix to check and now my massage is ruined.
Xigbar: Hey! I want a massage too! Saix, can you give me one after Xemnas?
Xion: Ahhhh! Superior, Axel and Roxas are making out here!
Larxene: Oh my Kingdom Hearts! My eyes! Theose two burn of the light and the fire!
Xaldin: Now that was really corny, Larxene. Oh holy Berserkers and Assassins, it burns my eyes.
Demyx: I'm telling you to loosen off my buttons, babe. Uh-huh. But you keep fronting me. Say what you don't do to me. Uh-huh. Oh, I see nothing.
Vexen: What the Sorcerers? I thought Nobodies CAN'T FEEL love!
Xion: Eeeek! Get them away from me!
Marluxia: Ummm… what?
Vexen: Okay… this is like one of those homosexual sex scenes I read in a fanfiction about Axel and Roxas.
Lexaeus: … What's up, everybody? And what are Axel and Roxas doing on the floor?
Marluxia: Don't ask.
Lexaeus: …
Xemnas: What's all this nonsense? Oh holy Dusks and Heartless! Axel? Roxas?
Demyx: I don't know them anymore.
Luxord: Oh. That's hot.
Larxene: Oh no! He's drunk! Somebody save us before this turns into a threesome!
Marluxia: The flaming passion and the blinding intimacy! It's too much! I have been blinded.
Lexaeus: …
Vexen: Is this a good idea for a new experiment?
Saix: Don't you dare.
Zexion: Why is everybody still here? I can't see. Excuse me, Xaldin and Xigbar. Oh holy guacamole! My innocent eyes!
Xigbar: I cannot watch. It's too rated even for me.
Xion: Take cover! It's the orgasm! Run for your heterosexuality!
Everyone except Axel and Roxas: AHHHH!
Xaldin: Come on, Luxord!
Luxord: But I want to see the blondie get screwed really badly.
Zexion: Forgive me, Luxord. But I think you need this.
Luxord: Unnhhh.
Saix: Did you have to knock him out with an encyclopedia?
Zexion: Unfortunately, yes.
Marluxia: Everybody! EARPLUGS!
Xigbar: Brace yourselves as well!
Xemnas: Never mind. What are we doing here? We're leaving this before the explosion! To the Corridors!
Everyone except Luxord, Axel and Roxas: To the Corridors of Darkness!
Larxene: That was close.
Xion: Whew. For a second, I thought we were done for.
Everybody else except Xemnas: Whew! Thank you, Superior.
Larxene: Now, after so many disturbances, let's start our much awaited program. Which is Heart…
Xion: To Heart…
Demyx: To Heart…
Zexion: To Heart…
Luxord: …
Vexen: I'll say it for him. To Heart to Heart…
Marluxia: To Heart…
Saix: To Heart…
Lexaeus: To Heart…
Xemnas: To Heart…
Xaldin: To Heart…
Xigbar: To Heart…
Axel: To Heart…
Roxas: To Heart…
Larxene: With the Organization XIII. And oh, Axel and Roxas are done with their "business".
Axel: Yeah. And it was…
Demyx: You don't need to tell. Remember, Nobodies just don't f*ck and tell.
Marluxia: Demyx? What are you saying?
Roxas: Just after fifteen minutes, I don't know you all anymore!
Everyone except Roxas and Axel: ???
Zexion: I think the title of this program is nonsensical. We just used the word "heart" fourteen times and we, as a matter of fact, don't have hearts.
Xion: Oh just deal with it.
Demyx: We are family! Organization of Thirteen. We are family! Organization of Thirteen!
Axel: So what did we miss?
Saix: Nothing unless you meant the part where you and Roxas just got so "close" to each other moments ago.
Marluxia: Oh, come on. You know teenagers… they have hormonal problems. Just excuse Axel and Roxas.
Xemnas: They're not teenagers! What kind of excuse is that, Marluxia?
Marluxia: I don't know. At least I tried coming up with a stupid excuse!
Xigbar: I bet you five hundred munny that Saix won't give you a backrub.
Xaldin: You're on, Xigbar!
Roxas: So what now?
Larxene: We tell our readers something…
Xion: Yeah. Something. But we don't know yet.
Lexaeus: …
Vexen: You came up with a program but we don't have a script?
Demyx: I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell. But stick a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me.
Axel: Oh! What's this?
Larxene: Axel? I don't think we should touch Sound Slayer's computer. He is so going to kill us.
Demyx: No, he won't… actually he won't kill me, Larxene, Zexion and Marluxia. It said so on one of his notebooks.
Zexion: Really? So are we like his favorites or something? Because I'm feeling so thrilled that I could just whack you with my book…
Larxene: That's cool. Okay, everyone. I suggest you all leave because you all might get killed by S. S.
Everyone except Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene and Demyx: Fine…
Larxene: Ta-ta!
Marluxia: So what do the reviews say?
Demyx: What do you mean?
Zexion: He wants to see the reviews because you're clicking on S. S.'s account. And you're already watching his stories.
Larxene: Stories? Cool! I never knew he was a story-teller.
Marluxia: Let me do it, Demyx! It says here that… no one voted for us. Well, only Zexion, Roxas, Saix, Luxord and Xion. The Disney Villains too… and a random event and the whole Organization. No one likes us… except S. S.
Demyx: Let's see. One vote for Zexion. One vote for Saix. One for Roxas. One for Xion. Three for Random Event. Two for Disney Villain who might be Maleficent. One for Luxord. And one for the entire Organization.
Zexion: Hah! People like me out there better than you guys! Probably because of... well… me.
Larxene: HOLY CRAP! What's this? A pairing with Demyx and Zexion? This I got to see!
Marluxia: What did you say? Looks like we have something to blackmail Zexion and Demyx with, huh?
Demyx: That's not me! That is so not me!
Larxene: Demyx, that guy has his dirty blonde hair in a mullet! How can that be not you?
Demyx: Must be someone else.
Marluxia: Well, he's holding a sitar. And you're the only dirty blonde mullet boy who plays a sitar, wears an Organization cloak and has that stupid smile on his face all the time.
Demyx: This isn't a stupid smile!
Larxene: Will you two cut it out? I'm trying to read and look at the drawings at the same time!
Zexion: I am not homosexual! What is wrong with the people of the world? I wonder how Zexion-Demyx even got made up in the first place! We weren't even in the same game!
Demyx: Totally. I know where Marlene could have come from but two of us? That's nasty!
Marluxia: At least they got one thing right.
Everyone but Marluxia: What's that?
Marluxia: Actually two things… okay, three. Sora and Riku. Xemnas and Saix. Axel and Roxas.
Larxene: Yeah, everybody knows about Axel and Roxas's relationship but Xemnas-Saix and Sora-Riku? How'd you know that?
Marluxia: Let's just say I heard it from a grapevine.
Demyx: Oooohhhh! Marluxia talks to plants? That's new.
Zexion: It's an idiom, you half-wit. He meant that he heard it from somebody.
Demyx: I'm not a half-wit! You're so mean, Zexion! I'm calling S. S.!
Zexion: Don't cry, Demyx. Oh, come on. Let me give you a hug… whether I like it or not.
Demyx: Aww… thanks, Zexion.
Larxene: I finally got proof of Zexion-Demyx with this camera!
Marluxia: Good shots, Larxene! We should upload them as soon as possible!
Demyx and Zexion: Hey! No fair! You two are really traitors to their own core.
Larxene: Don't you dare touch me, you two. I can charge sexual harassment! We're in the real world right now. And anything goes because these humans make up such easily-exploitable rules!
Marluxia: She's right. All humans here are definitely gullible enough to be manipulated. And they all are pathetic life forms… except for Kingdom Hearts fans. But especially to the ones who like me!
Demyx: I think only S. S. likes you. And Larxene? Maybe some… but a lot of people like me! Yeay! Go Demyx! Go Demyx! Go Demyx!
Zexion: Me too… a lot of people really are drooling over me. It's really… uhh… fantastic, I guess.
Larxene: Don't get your hopes up, you two. Once I upload these pictures, I'm sure your popularity rates will drop rock-bottom!
Marluxia: And the rest of us will be on top. However, Larxene and I will have to take out some competition in trying to get there.
Zexion: You two are really evil, you know that.
Larxene: What's your problem? That's how our characters are.
Demyx: Umm… guys? I think I hear footsteps.
Larxene: Oh crap it. See you next time, guys! Hopefully, Axel and Roxas don't make out on our next telecast.
Marluxia: You know… we didn't even start the program or anything.
Zexion: And this moment only comes once in a lifetime or something like that because S. S. usually hogs the spotlight.
Larxene: Totally… tell me about it.
Demyx: I know! This whole thing should have more… me! I mean, I'm usually the one whom everyone likes, right?
Marluxia: Says you! People like me better than you!
Larxene and Zexion: Shut up, you two! We better get going!
Zexion: He's going to be back any minute now... to write his silly story about four of us messing with Riku and Sora's heads.
Larxene: Yeah. So we better cut this short.
All Four: Okay! See you next time! This is Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart to Heart with the Organization XIII! Review this telecast please! And please vote some more!