Disappearance

IV. Closure

The moment Hendrick arrived with the others, Hermione had her eyes pinned upon him. She watched how both her head of operations and her so-called best friend reacted to one another. It was crystal clear that they had a bond past friendship. Two powerful wizards held deep respect and loyalty to one another. How could she have been so blind? She had red flags then, but she hadn't wanted to believe then.

Now that the Auror division and Carpe Diem were now on the same page officially, she watched as the meeting come to the end. She thought of how many ways she could skin and gut Hendrick alive, but she felt it wasn't wise to dwell so intensely with that line of thinking. When Hendrick's eyes finally fell upon her, he stopped short and swallowed. She didn't let her hardened glare soften and she watched him swallow visibly.

Good, she thought viciously. Sweat.

She continued holding his stare as she purposely got to her feet and walked towards the doorway. She didn't even acknowledge Harry, who was standing right beside him. She kept her eyes trained on her so-called 'friend' and 'confidant'. She watched him tense and silently congratulated herself for proving to shaking her head of operations up. She didn't say one word as she swept out of the room and headed down the hallway.

When she made it outside, she didn't have to wait long at all. She heard his footsteps on the stone, shuffling cautiously towards her. She heard him clear his throat, but she didn't turn around to address him.

"Hermione?" he called out softly.

She rolled her eyes, but she remained still and silent.

"Hermione, I know you're-"

"Livid? Enraged? Betrayed?" She spun around to face her ex-lover as she stared up into his icy blue eyes. Hendrick opened his mouth to protest, but she put her hand up. "What else do you want to call it? You let me believe we had trust between us… respect… bloody friendship. You knew this entire time and didn't care to-"

"Tell you that your beloved best friend, who happens to be the most respected and revered wizard currently on this planet, was keeping tabs on you?" he supplied helpfully. Hermione wanted to wipe that bloody smirk that was making its way upon his rugged face. No, this was no laughing matter! She actually trusted the bloody wizard and he just used her. "I thought it was quite endearing that he wanted to know if his headstrong and incredibly stubborn best friend wasn't in any trouble or danger."

"Hendrick, this isn't a joking matter."

"No, it isn't." He paused for a moment, looking over her expression. He sighed then before continuing. "This wasn't meant to hurt you, Hermione."

"Bloody too late for that," she huffed. "Was it all charade? Everything? Bloody hell, everything between us…" She trailed off as her eyes gave away too much emotion. Teary-eyed, she looked away when Henrick's hard exterior seemed to dissolve. His eyes had softened, but she wouldn't have it. "I don't want to hear your lies or bloody excuses."

She was about to push pass him when he grabbed her arm. "Hermione, stop. It's not what you think-"

"Think?" she chuckled bitterly as she tore her arm away from him. "Is that why you refused to touch me after that assignment? You knew I was spoiled goods? Is that why when I walked into the bloody tavern that first night we got back and regrouped that you were chatting it up with the new recruits?" She sniffed. "I wasn't good enough for Harry bloody Potter so I wasn't good enough for bloody heartthrob of-"

She gasped when Hendrick swung her about so now that he was holding both of her arms. She was so close to him. There wasn't much of space in between them as she looked up into his stormy blue eyes.

"No," he rasped, shaking his head.

His eyes looked down at her mouth and she sucked in a breath as he lowered his head. The kiss was passionate and rough as she allowed him to indulge himself. It reminded her of their heated turbulent affair during that assignment… that assignment neither refused to talk about ever. He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Never that you weren't good enough," he murmured. His eyes were gazing down at hers intensely. "What happened those nights and days was nothing short of paradise, Sweets." She flushed, remembering his endearment for her during that assignment. "But I'm not blind. A wizard like Harry doesn't just keep tabs on his best friend and request for active updates. You are more than capable of handling yourself. He, myself, and you know that. You confirmed my suspicions when you sleep. Your heart and soul calls out to him and you call out for him. It's hard to hear your inner monologue and not want to make that pain go away."

The sharpness pain almost brought her to her knees. She attempted to struggle against him, but he kept her close. His eyes kept upon hers.

"So you felt bloody guilty-"

"Guilt has no place in this discussion," he cut in with one shake of his head, causing her to still at this strange intensity reflecting in those eyes. "It was not guilt that I kissed you the first time and it was absolutely not guilt that I laid you upon that bed in Paris, Hermione. It was not guilt that I held you close, held your hand, or placed kisses on your temple. No, Hermione that was all real. You are not that type of woman to play with, Sweets. You're meant to be cherished. I'm not, as you say, bloody stupid." His eyes seem to pierce into her soul and she tried not flinch at the feeling of being exposed and gutted. There was only one other wizard that could that to her. "I do not believe Harry is either."

She frowned at that, but she couldn't think upon it as he once against brought her close and kissed her. This kiss was so much different than the others. He had cupped her cheek, tilting her chin up. His thumb brushed across her mouth before he gently touched his mouth to hers. Sweet, simple, and chaste… until he lazily eased her mouth open and she let him take what he wanted… or needed. She knew Hendrick wasn't Harry, but she also knew that if her heart hadn't been taken that Hendrick would've stolen hers. She wasn't afraid to admit that it caused a chunk of restless nights crying over Hendrick after he pretended that it never happened.

When he pulled away from her, he gave her slight genuine smile. Any anger or doubt had dissolved the moment his eyes met hers. He pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly against him.

"It was real to me too, Sweets," he whispered in her ear. She kept in her tears as he kissed her cheek. "But I refuse to be your consolation prize. No matter how tempting that may sound."

She chuckled, nodding her head at his reasoning. She understood now and she finally found closure with what had happened between them. There was no more tension between them that seemed to creep up between them. She looked into his eyes and only saw sincerity. She nodded her head in understanding and leaned up to kiss his cheek. She wouldn't want to use him like that either to make him into something he wasn't. Her heart belonged to Harry and she would've never wanted her friendship and bond with Hendrick to suffer due to her loneliness.

"Thank you," she whispered. She brushed at the tears that managed to escape. "This doesn't give you pardon for not telling me that Harry has been keeping tabs on me the entire time."

"Oh, I fully expect you to lay into me with that."

She gave a nod. "Good."

He chuckled as he took a step back, detangling himself from her. She watched him wink at her before he started walking back towards the lair. She frowned when he froze and her eyes traveled past him to see what he was staring at. Her heart tightened when she saw Harry leaning against the wall, just staring at them. How much had he seen or heard? The look in Harry's eyes as he stared openly at them was a bit unnerving.

Hendrick took a deep breath before he moved forward with his back straightened. Hermione admired his will to not cower against Harry like many have. Harry smirked at that – obvious respect in them before his eyes swept over to Hermione. She flushed as he gave her this knowing look. She opened her mouth to speak, but he just turned then and walked back inside.

Harry seemed fine. Hermione watched him from where she sat at the table in the kitchen, observing him as he conversed with Hendrick and his elite four – Anders, Micah, Lawrence, and Tanner. His elite four were his chief commanders for Carpe Diem's divisions. All four had greeted Hermione and embraced her. She shouldn't have been surprised with Tanner had given her a large duffle bag to find out that they had packed up all her belongings. Were they not expecting her to come back? Tanner had given her arm a squeeze and told her that they fully expect her to still be in Carpe Diem. They just suspected that she just may not be living on the base off assignment anymore.

There was slight tension between Harry and Hendrick, but they were both professionals and acted that way. It was just now more cordial and civil rather than casual and familiar. She noticed the way Harry stiffened slightly when Hendrick addressed her as he told her that they would need her for the first sweep across London to test the grounds. They wanted to set up surveillance if possible during their mission out. Both Harry and Ron looked ready to protest, but they remained silent when she immediately nodded her head. Harry approved of the mini-mission and even alerted the Aurors in their own safehouses across London that Hendrick and the team would check in with each safehouse on their route to rest and plan out their next move from there. Harry also added a small group of Aurors, which included Ron, to help their mission. In case something should go awry and they all needed to split up, Harry figured that having more than one person familiar with London would help. They would be leaving that night.

Hermione looked down at the duffle bag she was holding. She sighed, knowing that maybe an act of confirmation that she was indeed staying would put Harry at ease. It may ease the tension between Harry and Hendrick as well. Hendrick had always entertained the idea of having a member or members or a division that was dual affiliated with the Aurors and Carpe Diem. She now expected that Hendrick had appointed her and was waiting for the opportune moment to make it happen. Considering she was holding all of her belongings, she knew that what his hidden ruling or agenda was. Her eyes met a pair of bright blue eyes and he gave her a slight nod before he was drawn into conversation with Lawrence and Ron.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over to Harry, who was rifling through the documents before him. His hands on the edge of the table with back slightly rounded as he leaned over it. She bit her lip, watching as his eyes slowly rose to hers and his body followed suit as his back straightened. She could feel Hendrick and the team looking at her, waiting for her to make contact.

"Harry, I'm sorry to bother you," she finally pushed out. Harry raised his eyebrow at that before a slightly amused expression softened his features. "I'm-I'm certain that Hendrick and you have talked about the idea of have a cross division between the Aurors and Carpe Diem."

Harry nodded as his eyes widened in realization. "Yes, Hendrick and I have been talking about it, but we've just never got around to establishing it. We need someone who will be able to form the division, but for right now, we just need a starter to see if it would work."

"I believe I'm your starter," she said, looking over at Hendrick. Harry did as well and her head of operation nodded his confirmation. Harry nodded at that, finally noticing the duffle bag. "They brought all of my belongings over. I just need to know where you would like me to set up. I didn't know if you wanted me to stay in the room I'm in now or-"

"Move you into the Auror quarters," he finished. She nodded. "Yes, that's a good idea. You know pretty much everyone already now. There is a room next to mine and across from Ron's that is free. Just give me a few moments and I'll walk you down. I'll report to the ministry with the new development. They'll be happy to have you back on English soil so I'm certain they won't put up a fuss about laws and regulations."

She just smiled at that. Once he packed up his files, she watched him give a nod at Hendrick, who returned it. All was right between them again. She sighed, hating the fact she was a bargaining chip in a way in the world of men. She followed Harry to her new room. He showed her where everything was in the room, setting up the security measures and wards in the process. She tried not to show how impressed she was how at ease he was now charming the room. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering his line of work, but it was surprise nonetheless.

Once Harry had stopped and turned to her, he took one look at her face and chuckled at her expression.

"Didn't think I had it in me?" he predicted.

She smirked. "Always knew. Just didn't know if you'd ever feel secure enough to perform this level of magick."

"Responsibility and tragedy does that for you."

She nodded in understanding. Their line of work required them to be 'secure' in what they were and what they did. Many depended one them to do so. In a way, she understood why Harry had to give up Ginny. In a different world devoid of all this chaos, he would most likely be happily married to the redhead with a family. He didn't want to drag Ginny into this way of living. The life they lived was unpredictable and dangerous. Before she hadn't understood, but now living the way they did, she truly understood why he was so adamant about not giving in.

Then again, if Ginny was in love with Harry as Hermione believed she was, she was certain the redhead would give up living in the comforts of the world to live on base with Harry. From what she was gathering from the others, all the Aurors now lived in a stationed facility. Their families would live with them as well. It would provide them peace of mind and security.

"There's only one problem with this room," Harry told her, bringing her out of her thoughts. He gestured to the bathroom. She walked over and peered in, noticing that it was connected to another room. He walked on through and she followed him. "We have a connecting bathroom. This originally was a part of my quarters. For right now, this is all I can offer you until the war is over. It's too risky to come in and change the blueprint-"

"It's okay, Harry," Hermione spoke up. "I understand."

Harry sighed. "We'll figure the specifics out later."

"But it'll be fine now."

"I'll be at my desk," he informed her, pointing to the desk in the corner of the room. "Feel free to come get me if you need anything."

She nodded her head as she watched him walk over to his desk. He placed his files on the desk and scouted around until he was seated in the desk chair. She smiled at the sight of him working so diligently. If only he would be focused and studying like now when he was in Hogwarts, she mused as she made her way towards the bathroom. She stopped, biting her lip. She knew Harry was a busy man, but maybe he wouldn't mind being pulled away. She turned back and almost forgot what she was going to say when she locked unto a pair of emerald eyes.

"Yes?" he chuckled.

"I know you're busy," she said. "I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind keeping me some company. I can transfigure a desk right away in my room and you can work there." Surprise lit his face and eyes. She swallowed, wondering if she was moving too fast now. Would he even want to be around her after everything they went through? "It's just been awhile, you know? We haven't really talked… well, actually talked or caught up. I just thought it would be nice before I went out in the field tonight."

There was uncomfortable silence that endured. She bit her lip as she attempted to quickly excuse herself. She tried to appear unfazed by his rejection while she headed into the bathroom. She almost didn't hear him call out her name with the roar of belittling thoughts ran amuck through her mind and heart. She stopped in the bathroom for a moment, thinking that maybe she had only hoped to have heard him calling out her name. She was about to walk through into her room when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Hermione?" he chuckled. "I was calling your name."

She flushed. "I'm sorry. I think I was in my own little world."

"I can see that," he teased. "Already thinking up ways to organize your room?" She forced a smile on her lips, disguising the truth of what was going on in her mind and heart behind it. "I was just asking if you wanted me to bring some tea."

Her breath caught at that. So he did want to spend time with her? She quickly nodded her head and he smiled at that. He gave her arm a gentle squeeze and told her that he would gather everything while she got started on the room. For the first time she got back, she felt a spark of hope over their friendship. If he was only using her for her talents and skill to win the war, he wouldn't take the time to keep her company. Maybe there was a chance for a renewed strong friendship. Or maybe he just feels the need to get closer to her now because he took her in as his responsibility?

That dark thought struck fear within her. She had just transfigured the desk in the corner of her room as the thought became quicksand to her. Nothing would ever be the same between Harry and herself. Their old friendship shattered by her inability to keep being his friend, remembering exactly why she had left in the first place. Hendrick had told her that she had called out to Harry in her sleep and she wondered if she could really keep a professional relationship with now one of her bosses. Her track record wasn't exactly in her favor as she considered Hendrick… or even her track record with Harry. She managed to hide all this within herself when Harry walked in with his files, tea, sugar, a teapot, and two teacups.

Be a better friend and confidant than you were, she thought to herself as she watched him place everything on the desk. When he looked up at her, she gave him a slight smile. A slight frown crossed his face before disappearing as he returned the smile with a genuine one. It was sickening how it made her poor heart jump the way it did. The guilt and shame of it caused her look down and away before she started arranging her room. She should've noticed when his eyes changed, but she hadn't until it was too late. By off chance, she had stolen a quick glance in his direction. There was this inquisitive intensity in them and she knew that he knew something had changed in the course of moments. She bit her lip, knowing it was going to be much harder to keep her feelings in check when this much older and mature Harry knew all the signs when someone was withholding information from him.

Her only hope is when everything was settled and her upcoming mission was over that Harry would've figured out what to do with her – where to station her, where he wanted her exactly in the Auror division, and when he wanted her to leave the lair. Now that he didn't have to worry about her leaving in general, he could concentrate on other things that mattered. After all, he brought her back not because he wanted her here, but because he needed her in the war effort.