Disclaimer: Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network while the Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker of That Guy with the Glasses.

Note: Every May 21 is my birthday. This year's birthday was cool. There wasn't much in the way of presents in a typical sense except for money courtesy of my grandparents but my dad took me out for steak dinner which was awesome. Also, my Deviantart friend, Baconbaka has been drawing my characters in his own way. He's done 8 out of 14 thus far but the most recent 4 came in almost simultaneously on my birthday. Check them out. And don't forget to read my other fanfic, Super Tai Galaxy. Speaking of which, I had only just realised there was one more birthday present as a fanfic user called shadowmwape faved it; he was the first one to do so since I uploaded that story on the 17th of February 2012. As a result, I shall star one of that story's characters here as a special guest.

It was night time at Camp Wawanakwa and the Nostalgia Critic stood on the Dock of Shame to recap the first episode.

"Last time on Total Drama Tween Island," The Critic said cheerily, "I started my career as a reality show host. Look I had to find something to do outside reviewing crappy movies.

"Anyway, I met 14 kids from all over the world. Oh and did I forget to tell you that I jumped forward 15 years into 2028? That meant country borders had been altered at, sadly, the cost of the United States of America; my home town of Chicago is Canadian property now. But enough about my personal life, let's talk about the contestants.

"We have a tomboy from Toronto, Canada called Lauren,

"The daughter of the ruling oil tycoon of Austin, Caribbean Union called Nessie,

"A Jewish skater dude from Boston, Quebec called Victor (yes Quebec broke off and annexed Massachusetts),

"A cute little girl from Paris, North France called Mari (that's right, France had split in two),

"A nasty bully from Kingston, Jamaica called Jim,

"A territorial tiger from the mountains of China called Li Zhang,

"A comic book nerd from Seattle, Greater California called Nickolas,

"A commie hippie from Sydney, Australia called Sheila (seriously why hasn't communism died off, I don't get it)

"Two inseparable twins from Worcestershire, Anglo-Celtic Dominion called Jonny and Jenny,

"A valley girl from Caracas, Venezuela called Aurora,

"An otaku from Tokyo, Japan called Midori,

"A naïve commune dweller of the former American Midwest called Malcolm,

"And an Islamic bookworm of Dubai, the United Arab Emirates called Abdul."

"The contestants were later sorted in the Mad Monkeys and Crazy Crocodiles and already all sorts of relationships were being formed; nothing romantic yet but still. After lunch I sent them over to their first challenge: sending totem poles back to camp. It was there that Jonny revealed to us his knowledge of physics and applied it to his team earning an initial lead. But although the Monkeys initially lagged behind no thanks to Victor becoming Chester, they won the challenge. Why? Midori held her team back to look after Abdul who had gotten motion sickness."

"As a result of this, plus the accidental flash of panties, Midori was the first camper to leave the island but not before she gave gifts to the other campers to remember her by."

"Who will win? Who will lose," the Critic said rhetorically, "And what else do our campers offer me? Find out on this episode of Total Drama Tween Island!"

(Theme song; I wanna be famous)

(Mad Monkeys; Guys)

In the boys side of the Mad Monkeys cabin, Victor was calmly reading his Fullmetal Alchemist manga from Midori while Malcolm was fiddling with his digivice.

"Oh, how do you get this do-hickey to work," said Malcolm frustrated.

"Hey what's the matter Malcolm," Victor said putting his book down, "can't you work your digivice? I'll bet it was from the lack of technology where you come from."

"No no," Malcolm quickly corrected his roommate, "the Commune is not technologically backwards. We're not Amish you know. We still have internet, videogames and robotic farming machines, of course work comes first which doesn't really bother me as it is pretty much tradition."

"Here give me that," Victor said as he took Malcolm's digivice and turned it on before giving it back, "There. From here on out, I expect you to look after your digimon should it hatches. It's like a tamagotchi really."

"Wait, I remember using one," Malcolm recalled, "so I'm guessing digimon would be little different. Is it?"

"Well there is a huge difference," Victor explained, "unlike tamagotchi, you can link two digivices so that the two digimon can duke it out and become stronger."

"I personally don't believe in competition very much," Malcolm admitted, "but if it's part of raising digimon then so be it I guess."

"Well I'll tell you more tomorrow. Good night." Victor fell asleep when Chester suddenly said, "Oh great I'm surrounded by kids!"

Malcolm knew this was going to be a long night indeed.

Confessional: The first night at camp. What a day that was.

Victor: My older brother, Jacques was a huge fan of Digimon so naturally he showed it to me. Slowly I became a digimon fan to the point of owning a digivice. I brought it with me so I don't get bored.

Malcolm: I'm only at the egg stage but when it hatches it gets serious.

(Mad Monkeys; Girls)

Mari was hard at work at one of her new outfits for tomorrow but Aurora with pocky in her mouth was staring at her uneasily.

"Seriously Mari? A Madoka Kaname La La Loopsy doll," Aurora said, "that is a rare model. I am so jealous."

"Really," Mari said, "I didn't know that. Do you have a La La Loopsy doll collection or something?"

"I have a few," Aurora admitted, "but I had always wanted that rare doll for if I did have it, the entire student body would do my bidding just to look at it. I'm actually surprised someone like Midori would have it."

"Well maybe it was commonplace in Japan I think," said Mari with uncertainty so she turned to Jenny, "isn't that right Jenny."

"Well what you are seeing here is the product of two corporations combining their ideas for a little extra dosh," Jenny explained, "It's called a joint project. If you remember Kingdom Hearts which was a result of Disney and Square Enix working together. I'm personally glad they did. In this case here, it was MGA Entertainment, Shaft and Aniplex that took part in the joint project."

"Wow, thanks Jenny," Mari thanked the ginger girl, "You know you are really smart and wise."

"Trust me," Jenny said, "Me and Jonny are both quite popular at our school."

Confessional: Knowledge. That's another thing those twins share.

Jenny: I may miss Jonny but I got really cool roommates to make up for it. For one thing we have a common background of being quite popular at school. I'm not so sure about Lauren though.

Lauren: I had no idea what my roommates were talking about but I wouldn't have enjoyed it.

(Crazy Crocodiles; Guys)

Jonny was looking at his carving of North Korea and tried thinking of a reason Midori gave it to him.

"I don't get it," he said confused, "why do I get a carving of a repressive country when most of the others something cool?"

"Cool is right," Jim angrily said, "I have always wanted a sword but that damn Chris took it off me!"

"Look. It's probably for the best," Jonny retorted, "swords are weapons and weapons are a safety hazard and therefore must be handled with great responsibility, which he assumed you don't have."

"Hey I'm not some loser, I'm an aspiring warrior! What the difference? One's a job and the other's a mental sickness!"

"The Critic wasn't worried about that! He probably thought you'd use it for bullying!"

"All right you two that's enough," Abdul shouted to the two arguing, "You're both fighting over some silly object! Now if we could just forget about it then we could have a nice beauty sleep, especially me. Now if you look at Nickolas, he knows how to behave at night."

Sure enough, Nickolas was fast asleep. Both Jim and Jonny thought that arguing wasn't worth it anymore and so went to sleep.

"Ah, peace and quiet at last," Abdul thought as he went to sleep.

Confessional: Jarate!

Abdul: I have a few important reasons to keep the peace. One, it keeps the team together. Two, although I may not like who is in my team, I must treat them with dignity and respect. I do not want to do jihad.

Nickolas: I had no idea what happened but I slept like a baby. Hooray for being outside Disney's regime!

(Crazy Crocodiles; Girls)

Nessie was out in the wild looking for oil. She looked at her device to see where it could be. "Now daddy did say there was oil in Wawanakwa but where?"

"Hurr!" An ungodly sound made Nessie jump. "Who's there," she said shivering. "Rruh!" There it was again. Nessie was really scared now.

The bushes rattled so Nessie naturally pointed here torch at it and out came what appeared to be the BLU engineer from Team Fortress 2. Only it wasn't; its mouth was mutated to look like a vertical slit, as if it were a vulva. "Ytreporp ym fo ffo teg," the thing shouted and then that really did it. Nessie had run away screaming all the way back to her side of the cabin.

In the girls' side of the Crazy Crocodiles cabin, Sheila was calmly dreaming of dolphins when the sound of the door woke her up. Nessie had returned.

"Ugh," Sheila groaned, "what did you have to wake me up for?"

"I was out for a night walk when suddenly some freakshow appeared," Nessie was fearfully saying, "its face was nightmarishly ugly and it spoke in some alien language!"

"You were probably going out looking for oil again," Sheila said skeptically, "You can't fool me. As for the monster, it was probably a hallucination summoned by karma. Now go to sleep!" Sheila want back to sleep.

"I don't think I'll want to sleep tonight," said Nessie thinking about the mysterious monster.

Confessional: Dnalsi neewt amard latot.

Nessie: That was the second worst night I had slept through. That creature gave me nightmares!

Sheila: You can only go so far polluting the environment before it bites you back in the kiwis. That's what my grandad used to say to which I found kind of strange since I do not have kiwis.

The next morning, all of the campers were having breakfast. It would appear that the Nostalgia Critic had given Chef quite a long lecture resulting in an edible bowl of porridge, which most campers disliked.

"Oh my god," Jim laughed at Nessie whose head was in the bowl, "you look like crap!"

"Jim, that would be unacceptable," Abdul scolded the big guy, "that's not going to ensure your popularity."

"Well I on the other hand had the best sleep," said Nickolas cheerily, "It was the first night outside Disney's jurisdiction."

"Well that I congratulate on bud," said Jonny, "If your happy, I'm happy. This almost makes up for losing my sister to the enemy team."

Meanwhile, on the Mad Monkeys table, all of its members, except Li Zhang who was eating outside, were admiring Mari's new outfit. Today it was a cherry red dress with a bow at the waist and a tulip in her hair.

"So, how do you like my new hair," Mari asked her teammates.

"It looks mighty fine on you," Malcolm commented before turning back to his digivice, "Come on. Hatch already!"

"Well I personally think you are very cute in it," Victor politely commented which made Mari blush.

"Oh come on guys," Aurora said uninterested in Mari's fashion sense, "you cannot like idolise some lame-o Mary-Sue."

"I'm with you for once," said Lauren to Aurora, "she looks like a dweeb."

"Now be nice," Jenny scolded the two, "Mari put a lot of effort into that cute dress. You're probably jealous."

Suddenly, the door opened and Li Zhang was pushed in by Chris McLean who laughed at his own action. The Nostalgia Critic looked rather cross. The campers looked quite scared.

"Good morning campers," the Critic said gravely, "I have some serious news to tell you."

"What is it," Nessie said quickly emerging from her porridge, "It had better not involve that monster from last night!"

"No it isn't," the Critic continued, "As soon as Midori left, I looked through her luggage, which is what happens to yours from now when you are eliminated. And I have found unwanted material in it. They were Sailor Moon DVDs."

"Sailor Moon," Sheila said skeptically, "that show's harmless. Besides, that's Midori for you."

"Look you don't understand," said the Critic, "I hated that show! Now I am going to do it some justice! So while I am gone doing what I do best, Chris McLean will replace me for the day." He then turns the Chris and said seriously, "You had better behave Chris."

"Oh I will boss," Chris said while laughing sinisterly, "Now how's breakfast?"

"Well it's not perfect," said Jenny, "but tolerable. Chef can never top mum."

The Chef got cross. "Chris! Do something about that rascal," he shouted, "My cooking is fine as it is!"

"Okay Chef," said Chris laughing again, "Hey Corey, come over here."

A raptor dinosaur clad in orange and gold feathers and yellow scales appeared and said, "What is it you want me to do?"

"The ginger girl with freckles has critiqued Chef's cooking and he hates that. Punish her or else!"

"Fine," Corey said submissively as he went up to Jenny, raised his foot and said, "Look I am sorry. I don't like it either but I have to get paid." He grabs Jenny with that foot and scratches it with its big sickle claw. Jenny winced in pain.

"Alright that's it," the Critic said sounding a bit pissed, "Corey stop! You'll get paid anyway!" Corey gets off Jenny and runs away but the damage had been done; the cut was bleeding badly. "I am going to give you one last chance Chris. Misbehave one more time and I will kick your balls!" He turned to Jenny and said, "Look I am afraid you cannot compete today due to your injuries but thankfully it will not warrant a medivac. However you cannot vote at all tonight."

"Okay," Jenny said as Chef escorted her to the medical tent. The others are left at the hands of Chris McLean.

Confessional: Chris is as demonic as ever.

Jonny: That wanker! I have never met Chris and already he hurt my sister!

"Okay kids," Chris said, "follow me to the Bay of Dismay."

We cut to the Bay of Dismay where the Mad Monkeys are sitting in the red bleachers, the Crazy Crocodiles are sitting in the green bleachers and Chris is standing on a central platform with a scoreboard while wearing a blue tuxedo.

"Welcome to the 'Getting To Know You' trivia game challenge," Chris announced, "Everyone strapped in snugly?"

"Well yeah," said Abdul sarcastically, "If your idea of snug is unbearably tight."

"Yeah, pre-schooler sized harnesses will do that," Chris laughed, "I'll be asking the players some embarrassing personal questions and I mean majorly humiliating. If the player in question hits the poorly wired buzzer and owns their humiliation before the time runs out earns a point for their team. The team with five points wins. But if no-one owns up, this happens."

Chris hits a button that sends the Mad Monkeys bleacher underwater. They were underwater for a few seconds staring at that same vulva-faced monster from last night before resurfacing.

"Oh my god, there was a monster down there," Malcolm shouted hysterically.

"Oh really," said Chris, "That would be the vagineer. A pussy-faced backwards speaking monster that likes to eat people. You don't fess up and you will have to deal with him."

Confessional: Gottam gottam gottam.

Victor: Oh crap.

Nessie: Oh crap.

Li Zhang: Oh crap.

Abdul: I don't even know what Chris was thinking. I do not want to sin!

Well that was part one of episode 2. For those who are asking, who's Corey? That's the special guest I mentioned before. Oh and the vagineer? I'm sorry if I have offended you in anyway but I am fond of vagineers from Gmod. However I do not own the vagineer, it was created by J16FOX2, a youtube user. Oh and if want to know what vagineer looks like, go watch gmod videos staring them.

Next time: The Critic steps in for an alternative challenge and the second camper is voted off.