Disclaimer:I don't own How to Train Your Dragon. It'd be the awesomest thing to have, next to having a Night Fury of your own. :P
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
Author's Note: I'm sorry for the long delay to this chapter. (I was vacationing down in Mexico, but I'm back now. -sorry everyone, not many computers where I live there) A combination of writer's block and procrastination (Curse you, FF13!) didn't help anyone. (;-;) Last chapter ended a little too abruptly, and I will try to get more chapters in the future. But...I have to deal with school now X(
(I usually listen to songs while writing these chapters, and in case you're interested, I listened to Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood opening 5, Rain of Sorrows. Blah, blah, boring you all already…) :D
Chapter 4
Broken Kiss pt.2
I ran through the dark forest, not caring that my scales were obvious on the forest floor, as I trekked through the jungle surrounding Berk, trying to get as much distance between me and -if I still can call him so- my Hiccup. Why did we hurt each other? Why…? Why didn't you feel the same way…?
I failed to notice a broken log in front of me, causing me to fall and roll down the hill like a human cartwheel, roaring like a banshee, occasionally smacking different parts of myself with fallen trees, rocks, and sticks.
No one ever said dragons were just as graceful on land as on air. (Or I hope they didn't say it anyway.)
I cursed and swore in Dragonese as I tumbled, unable to stop my crashing down, and fell into a small lake in a deep hole surrounded by high rock walls, un-climbable by regular means, or my paws anyway. Is Norn that cruel to make it be here of all places?
Why did you have to say it that way?
In a cruel twist of irony, it happened to be very same cove in which I became friendly with Hiccup in the first place. Ah Norn, first bringing us together here, and now splitting us apart, that sick, ironic, bastard.
Where I first started caring about YOU…
I draggy-paddled out of the lake, and flopped belly down on the sandy shoreline. I folded my wings in, crossed my paws, putting my head inside, unable to bear this gods-forsaken guilt of bringing harm to my innocent and perfect little hatchling.
I closed my eyes; my body limp from the emotional and physical trauma of tonight. Sniff…I sobbed (Which sounds like a bunch of moaning sounds as a dragon) for what must be an eternity as I pressed into the sandy shore with my paws, sniffling and many other unusual behaviors. I shouldn't even care about his—understandable, yet devastating—rejection, as I was an animal who would simply move on if denied a chance to acquire a mate, though I didn't like it.
Human…must you deny me?
Damn these weak feelings of love, now he'll hate me forever…at least I was able to "kiss" him, if only to end up almost clawing his arm off.
You hit my snout… That really hurts…
Another tidal wave of painful guilt swept over me as I recalled his gasps of pains as Hiccup held fast to a four claw marked left arm. I'd never hurt him on purpose! But… there was the proof, oh dear Odin, why did I let my jealousy of that accursed female take me?
It…it hurts really badly in my chest…Why…?
How could I do that? I slashed his arm, and…and…no…No…NO! IDIOT! Frustrated, I smacked my head against the sand repeatedly, not giving a damn how stupid I looked doing so.
I. Almost. Tore. Hiccup's. Arm. Off. All because I was jealous the blonde had his love. ARGH!
What kind of protector hurts their friends or young from that? I'm a failure to you, my human, I'm so very sorry… Whereas I tried to save your leg, this time I almost tore your arm away. So then… why did he hit me? Hiccup…would never strike anyone…He's not like the other humans…
My human…smacked me. If someone else did that, they'd be in my belly, except…Hiccup isn't someone else. He's my friend, my rider, my provider…
I wasn't doing anything bad, and…and…
He hit me, and I retaliated like nature intended, so why do I feel so gods-damn awful? My instinct is to attack something that hurts you, or at least that's how my life used to be…how my pride was only a few days ago. I shot a few fireballs in anger, burning off one of the trees I slept on while stuck here.
**** it all!
If I didn't let jealousy and love get ahead of me, Hiccup wouldn't be harmed and I'd be by his side, keeping him warm on the bed with my natural body heat, hearing his tiny body snores, dreaming whatever it is humans dream about. (Perhaps fish?)
By feeling and accepting my human's love, I've lost my flight, my independence, my memories, and the honor I've gathered in my life. Gone! To another dragon, I am not worthy of respect by being a pet.
I am not to be a pet. I'm a Night Fury, an insidious demon of the empty skies, striking in the depths of night, never seen by any and all. I should have honor, grace, majesty, all to burn terror into the hearts of millions of creatures.
Hiccup is my best friend, my 'flying buddy', and… my… m-my…
…Mas…ter… No. Never. He -if anything- is MY pet!
My vanity and honor were gone the moment I let a human touch me. My vanity and honor disappeared the moment I was going to kill a Monstrous Nightmare to protect a human. My vanity and honor were gone when I thought of him as a mate, more than simply a rider and a "buddy." I'm somewhat surprised the gods haven't smitten me down with thunder already. (Dragons believe in the gods like humans, but we know that they aren't going to help us; we're on our own. Mostly.)
And earlier I would've slashed my face off for letting it go this far. Others still would.
They probably sent a search party for him by now, and once they see him, they'll send out a search and kill party to tear out my heart and give it to his father. (Too bad, I think that horrible-mannered Stoick was starting to really take a liking to me.) Except, where will a broken dragoness like me go? What should I do now that I am a runaway?
A guilty runaway pet, how typical, I thought bitterly.
Without that skinny sack of -perfect- skin I call an owner, I have no reason to live anymore. I can't fly, I have no possibility of leaving, I have no one to relate to, I…need him for everything in general. Dependacy.
Hah, I am a pet. Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT! I. AM. A. DRAGONESS! I did NOT become a pet…
Taking a moment to distract myself from remorse and missing that tiny green-eyed angel, I lifted my head, laughing through my sadness, that's right isn't it? Now, without my master to "lead", I'm a hopeless pet.
There's nothing more pathetic than a pet who's been abandoned by its master. Lacking the strength of the wild, it merely exposes its pitiful form to the world and waits to die. My father told me that during a raid.
I understand why he thought becoming friends with humans could end so…badly?
I wonder (if that's) why it's so hard to admit that really, I am a pet. That once we allow ourselves to become pets to humans, like the lone wolf, the noble tiger, now meager dogs and cats. That once... what? And now, the majestic dragon is among those pets. Maybe the fact that we could become so dependent, so needy from humans, that we actually can't live without them is why its so awful. Neither domesticated dogs (wolves) nor cats (tigers) can truly survive in the wild anymore. Generations of human companionship have turned fear-inspiring beasts into simpering pets.
From man's best friend to mates. Ugh…sickening. So why am I sad about it?
Now, when that pet is abandoned, it can no longer thrive in the wild it was once in. It has the instincts, but it can no longer truly express them. It can't truly survive in the harsh wilderness. So then it just waits to die in a cruel, unforgiving world, wishing to be safe at home with their loving master. Hiccup…
Even actual tigers and ferocious monsters are at human whims, and so why don't -or can't- we just eat them?
They push their love onto us, they force it to twist our natures and we in turn are 'given' a soul. We don't eat or kill them because now, we love them as well, they feed us, they play with us, they give us everything we need to survive, and they play with and love us.
I still don't know why he cut the rope, why he befriended me, why he gave me back my wings, …why…why he…he didn't…feel…the same…
I don't really understand why people like giving their provisions to us. We're just another mouth to feed, yet they don't seem to care. It makes sense to me that a reason (Again with loving him) I should protect Hiccup is that he gives everything I could ever want out of life and more. Food, shelter, health, and companionship. Such a great mutual-ism.
But that's all. …No…no love like the way I feel…
My heart aches with loneliness and confusion. I should've never shown that I loved him so, and now that companionship is gone. Without my wings to fly, even all the strength in the world doesn't matter. Hiccup not only keeps me from thoughts of never flying solely again, but he gave back what he stole, and times fold. I cannot imagine life without my human. Even flight, a dragon's true pride, is second best to me. I love my little human more than even the greatest of treasure troves, I cannot deny that.
I think of you as my greatest treasure, for ifone were to kill you itwould be like stealing that treasure from me. Death will steal the dragon's hoard. I love you…I adore you Hiccup.
He's a friend, so its obvious why I feel mortified to think that he will die in less than a century. He is the only rider I will have, and when he dies before me, I will again lose flight and my -innocent, unique, enchanting, Kevvar. Most dragons die on the inside when they lose their wings; they lose the will to live.
Mortified. I was horrified that I lost my tail-fin. No more flying. Ever. That hit very hard on me.
I, Toothless the Night Fury, will become utterly expired at his death. Even now, asI think of his inevitable death, my body shakes from the fact he will be taken from me and there's nothing I can do.
Humans are the one treasure a dragon cannot keep forever.
Actually…I think that's my stomach. Standing up again, I peered down at my belly, hearing its melancholy cries for food. Hiccup interrupted my feeding time, didn't he?
I miss Hiccup.
If only I didn't decide to use draconic mating. I wonder if sticking to weird human rituals would've… No, I saw his eyes, they weren't enjoying it whatsoever. I was so caught up in the moment that I took his disturbia as signs of wanting more, though he wanted it to end. I really do wish that he said yes, but he did not. From insult added to injury.
The book he wrote should've been titled 'How to Break a Dragon's Heart.'
I not only got rejected, but I hurt Hiccup. I never once imagined being denied a mate, since Night Furies are usually assured a mate, we're legends. Power and respect go long ways in any kingdom, animal or not.
He's not 'powerful', but he has my respect. I am infatuated with that malnourished hatchling, without a doubt. I can't even stand the thought of not being with him -in any way, any way at all.
I swore never to harm my rider, well, so much for that… Like the human saying goes, nothing is impossible. I sighed heavily, his woundedarm burned into my memory. He probably has commanded a small army to come and get me, and I can't fight back. For a lot of reasons.
I miss him so very much. So much so.
I walked around to the spot where I drew a picture for him. I never knew before I met him that lines could form a drawing, but he drew me and I felt flattered then. I picked up a branch and swished it around, trying to keep my mind occupied as I tried drawing a heart. Unsurprisingly, my bereft tummy said no, letting go of the branch near me.
Urgh…so hungry…
I sat back down like a dog, annoyed by my stomach. Unfortunately I've eaten all the fish here, which does make me realize how bereft I was when he fed me at first. (Except for that disgusting eel, I hate eels.)
I wish Hiccup was here. Even if that makes me feel more dependent, I wish he were here to feed me. It was how we started our love, especially when I fed him back his fish. That face was pure funny to me.
Damn you, my adorable hatchling. You've made me want to be with you always. I used to be a loner, never seen, never stolen, and now I am at any of your whims. My dignity as a dragon is forfeit, and gone.
I looked up at the moon, feeling afraid and angry. Afraid because I don't know what'll happen to me now, and angry for being so flirty and lusty earlier. In other words, I'm miserable and longing to see that little Viking youngling.
Hiccup…loves Astrid. I still feel my rage peak at that mention. I did "know" but I still got jealous of her taking precious moments of him away from me, maybe even stressed out to the extreme.
He spends hours daydreaming about her while I growl to myself in envy. It wasn't fair either, I can't even fight for Hiccup with her. Hiccup has a crush, practically in love with that girl. What does a hairless ape like her need to be with him? She is not broken like us. What in Baldur's good graces does she have? Can she breath fire whenever she wants? No. Can she see and hear in any situation? I doubt it. Could she think smarter than the entire village combined? Ha-ha, no way. Was she capable of surviving near-fatal attacks, like flames and bows? Why not bring the armory out and see? And could she fly him into the sky and take him away from Berk? Let's see her try. And overall, was Astrid cute and scaly? NO! She's just a dumb average Viking!
There isn't anything extraordinary about her!
Shoving my paws into the sand and scuffing it in circles, I began to think of all the good times we had together. I was fierce until he shot me down, then I scorned him as we met, curious as he drew, in hysterics as he was attacked by a Nightmare and Fatso -cough, I mean queen, and sympathized byhis new prosthetic.
I'm tired and rambling now. I laid down and stared at the moon for quite a while, thinking over my actions until I came to a realization.
It's silly to realize it now but unless I get slain on the way, (Not if I have anything to say) I need to go to Hiccup and confront this.Even if I still don't feel comfortable talking yet, my little hatchling is probably worse off...I doubt he'd actually send someone for my head...but either way, apologies are needed.
Now.
First though, I need to raise my morale and two, escape from this completely not Night Fury capable cove.
A sigh escaped me, this is where it all happened and I'm tarnishing it with my moping. Forcing my signature smile, I tried to -temporarily- forget the sorrow until I leave this wonderfully accursed place. Everywhere I look, I see another memory of our time together, taunting and laughing at me.
What's a dragoness to do?
In all my lifetime I've heard of dragons being rejected (Sure, I did it not too long ago) but never a dragoness. If someone had told me that I would befriend, be ridden by, and fall in love with a human, I would've done things to them that even their ghosts would be too terrified to see.
My human…My rider…My soul mate…and in a way, my surrogate hatchling.
I remember a day after he finished with his dragon training; he came back here to me very sickly while I bored waiting for him to come. I was worried that he would collapse considering he stumbled, (Failing horribly to conceal his illness) and acted smart and sarcastic about it as I questioned him.
That day, he seemed so shy of me, yet acted happy and content as if there was nothing wrong. He didn't fool me; his eyes weren't as eager and happy to see me (Who wouldn't be in awe to see me? I AM pretty awesome) and betrayed his act. He seemed…hollow on the inside, and had disappointment glued on his eyes.
"Hey Toothless…" He murmured and hacked, I crooned telling him to go home and rest, if he dropped dead here, I- we wouldn't fly anymore, and him not dying of sickness at his 'cave' (house?) sounded better.
He sat down, smiling dejectedly at me. "Hah…hah…I get to have fun running around, while you're stuck here unable to fly because of me." He looked like he had a terrible day and was anything but the 'normal' and confident -also sarcastic- hatchling he usually was, talking of being a hero someday.
Still his words were like an avalanche, making me flinch.
"…I'm so sorry…" He started crying out loud, surprising me. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be stuck here, having to deal with this stupid fish bone every day! Right now, you'd be free as a bird, flying to your heart's whatever, but no. I had to be vain and shoot you down…!" I moaned sadly, it wasn't his fault…
Biting back tears, he stared up at me with those disconsolate eyes, "Its true! You know it! I know it! Nobody else may believe me, but its true!" Hiccup…he looked like he was holding in years of frustration, and was pouring it all out to me. I blew a smoke circle, not knowing what to do in this circumstance.
Hatchling…
"All the time, I just try to please everyone, to get some respect, but…but…No one cares. I'm still a screw up. All the Vikings alienate me like the damn plague. How in Helheim I -of all people- shot you down is a mystery. Maybe the Odin thinks its funny to give me the most prized dragon catch, only to not have the willpower to kill it, just because it can't fight back." (I already knew he shot me down)
Hiccup…
He kept moping around, talking about how worthless he was, or how a Night Fury like me has to be stuck with him of all people and so on until, "…And here you are bud, patiently listening to me. Let me guess, you want your fish right? Sorry bud I didn't bring any." (I was slightly irritated but ignored it at the time)
Maybe if I did that infamous smile of mine, he'll gimme some fish! (And cheer up!)
The stress in his voice told me he was so tired of something… "Let me guess what you want. You want me to shut up so you can kill and eat me right? Go ahead. Really, I won't stop you. You'd probably be doing everyone a favor. Then, everybody's happy and gets what they want. I'll shut up now, so go right ahead, I won't run away." He lay down in front of me, covering his head with his arms, lying outstretched.
?
Was he serious? This is what any predator dreams of, a meal letting itself to be eaten, yet…I couldn't eat him. Not when he wouldn't stop bothering me down in this hole,not even now when he was offering himself to me peacefully. Instead of letting hunger or instinct take over…
I felt something entirely different then, a feeling I never had before to anyone.
Remorse and understanding.
I was sad- miserable- that he suggested that to me. At that moment it dawned on me, all those times he came before, looking defeated he put on a smile. I understood then just how messed up Hiccup's life really was, and that I probably was his only friend. The only person who ever listened, and I wasn't even a person, I was his people's enemy. My lonely little human. My lonely big self.
We are so alien to each other, its creepy. Neither of us look anything alike, me a black winged fire lizard, and him, a pink hairless ape with clothes. Sometimes, we're so different, but in a way, we're the same two halves.
He was literally giving himself up to me, and he didn't feel any …years of rejection and shunning. Another thing I've never experienced happened, something so rare in dragons that I've met, heard of, and so on to be able to do, many dragons think it impossible.
I started crying on him. Crying real teardrops.
I reeled back, wondering how it…Dragons didn't cry, we shouldn't…or was it only possible in times like this…? I was then as miserable as he was, draconic teardrops werelanding on his head.
It distracted him, obviously, when he realized it wasn't drool, but dragon tears. His eyes were welled up with tears too. "Toothless…are…are you…crying?" I shook affirmatively, and my tears now landed on his face as I looked down at him.
His face was stupefied, or maybe incredulous that I could cry? I know I was.
I didn't even know I could. "Are…you…crying for me?" Again I nodded. "Oh T-Toothless…" He jumped out and clutched my upright form at the time, and continued crying but there was something different of it now.
It was almost like…like it sounded…happy.
He pulled his face from my chest and attempted to smile that open mouthed smile I so adore to see. Holding back his tears (Now seemingly happy for whatever reason) again, "O-okay…pr-promise we'll always…always take care… of each other..." I gummy-grinned (hard), gurgling a yes.
I will protect you, my little human. That's what "friends" are for right? Protecting someone not of your family, and loving them just the same, if- if not more.
The way his expression looked when I said that -even though it wasn't a word-…It was pleased-no, relieved-no, not that either. It was beautiful, and I will never forget the look of thanks he gave me. It was memorizing, and halted my own tears. His very eyes were silently thanking me, a thousand times over, andhe shook violently and sobbed with a big smile on his face.
Mesmerizing, really.
He gave me a hug, and scratched under my chin, I purred happily. "T-Thanks Toothless. I-I really…needed to hear someone say that…" Although he tried to quiet himself, I heard the next words he said.
Thanks pal, I love you…
He tried letting go, except I held him tight, the way a mother would hold a crying hatchling against them. "Ha-ha. Look at me, Stoick's son, crying and pouring all my problems to a dragon. The Night Fury."
He hugged me tight, and sparks emanated from me. I think, if only for a moment, I truly felt love for him for the first time. Though, there was a stronger love at the time, a maternal instinct perhaps. I kinda thought of myself as a surrogate 'mother' to this human "boy". A statement like his probed me too.
Look at me. The terrifying, awe-inspiring, Night Fury. Best friend, 'surrogate mother', and loved and loving by and to a human. A Viking. (I hope to Odin that no dragon finds out about me loving my human. Ugh, there ends my credibility as the 'Night Fury'. Now an embarrassing, adorable, giant lizard-cat.)
I guess we're both despicable to our species then…ha-ha.
Its weird to think that way, but sometimes I really do 'mother' him. Jeez, how embarrassing, I'd hear him say to me. Now in epiphany of affection, and drunk with love, I'm not that 'evil' dragon I was before. Now I'm the sad pet dragon who wants to say she's sorry to her master. So now I'm the laughing stock of the dragon world.
Love it.
He was sick, submissive, weak, and had lain down in front of me, the 'flesh-eating devil' as a choice. That was probably a carnivore's dream to have such an easy, stupid meal, and I couldn't muster up any conviction to eat him.
None whatsoever.
Believe me, I thought about it, I did 'want' to, but instead of predatory instincts, all I felt was wanting to comfort my poor, sweet, -Oh please stop crying, its going to be all right- Hiccup. Killing him is an instinct I do not seem to have.
Some 'devil' I turned out to be.
The triumph of winning is pretty long gone when you want to resort to begging at your human's doorstep for forgiveness. Well, so much for this dragoness's pride and honor. I am missing my pride, and that Surt-head has yet to make an appearance. Damn it all.
I still envy and hate Axebeak's rider. I may not know what a human 'wedding' is, but from hearing Stoick (Who favorably allowed me into his family, although he DOES think of me as just a pet…that ass) its how humans signify being lifetime mates.
No way I'm letting that happen. No way. Ne-ver!
Not because (Well, mostly that) Hiccup should be mine, but…hatchlings. Hiccup already spends enough time with his father, Astrid, and at the forge. The last thing I need cutting into our play time is a bunch of whiny, screaming human birthlings. LAST thing I want ever to happen. Hiccup is mine.
...I'm stupendous at getting sidetracked, aren't I?
I shook my head, I've had enough distractions.I'll need to look out carefully where I leap in the future. Now that the little conversation I had is over…Hiccup.
What. To. Do.
The moon was higher up than before, but the trees around me prevented its serene view. I walked slowly, sniffing to Berk's direction (A village of sweaty, yelling, 'big' Vikings is pretty hard to miss when your senses are superior to theirs…or you have a nose. Its hard to miss) thinking of what to say to Hiccup.
Do I just go up to him and demand an apology? Do I go up to his doorstep and whimper my broken heart out for him to let go of what happened? Should I just screw it, and go into the village and wait for him?
Sigh…
I'm angry at Hiccup still, and I continue to love that reddish-haired boy even so. I don't think my heart (or tattered remains of vanity) could take begging to be forgiven. I can't apologize over something I would do again given the chance.
Sigh…
I can't stay mad at him, his tiny -too cute- face is overpowering, as are his forest green eyes. If I go demand apologies, I might even hurt him again. My blood froze for a second, I may, no, I WILL be irritated and annoyed by him and the other loudmouthed Vikings, but even so, its not bad with him. (At least HE apologizes and realizes he's done something to offend me. Unlike some other Vikings I know.)
Am I running away? I am, aren't I? Dragons don't run away. Especially not from emotional battles.
Running away and leaving behind the people you care about? That's not love.
After spending some detective (The human fa- I mean, Fishlegs says its what you call those who solve mysteries) 'work', I learned something about that rude, red furry-faced (I never did find out what purpose the fur he had on his face had, maybe its to attract mates?) sire of Hiccup. Although he wanted to keep Hiccup safe too, he shut Hiccup out of his life, which only hurt him further.
Now though, Hiccup, his sire, and myself go on fishing trips together. I don't really understand the reason for it, but it seems to be patching up the rift between them. (Fishing with them is beyond boring when you're stuck on a boat for hours. Poor humans, that being the only way to get fish for themselves) Nowadays, those two seem happier, or Hiccup does when he talks with him and if he's happier then so am I. (And that horrible-mannered -and smelling- chief is 'nicer' to me, a bonus! Yay?)
Even if he doesn't feel the same way I do about him, if I cast him away for that, even if it hurts me in my heart, it'll only bring more loneliness to him, and deepen the scars in his tiny, frail heart.
I love my Hiccup more than any jewel. Even if…even if it costs me pride, love, and flight, I could never hurt him that way. It's my Hiccup. He's been through loads of bruises before me, and he'll probably blunder into more bruises. (He's not what you'd call 'coordinated')
To lie and abandon this human, Hiccup, would be disgraceful to me, to him, and tomy heart's feelings.
If I throw away my human, like he doesn't matter, that's when I've failed him. I swore to never hurt him, to always protect him, and to befriend him. I'll keep that promise, its the only, and most important dignit- no, honor I have.
Kindness like his, you don't forget.
He spared me, he gave me back my flight, he became my companion, he helped to take down Green Death, and he practically stole my beating heart. Even without tearing it out, he has my undying adoration.
I love Hiccup. I want to snuggle into his arms, to have him lightly kiss my forehead, carrying my head in his small arms. I want to push the female right off the docks, stand on my four legs, reach my neck out again, and kiss that boy on his 'lips' right in front of her. I'd love to see her face then.
Every little thing in the cove brings up another memory of him, and his gentle, sarcastic demeanor. My red prosthetic tail fin is made by Hiccup. He made it because he cared about me. For decades I've relied only on myself, and it's been so long since someone cared about me. My parents were eaten, and I don't have siblings. (How my parents managed to conceive me, being who they were, is beyond me) I've been independent and had privation so long, the only reason I remember being cared for a few times involved mating season, (I was too young to reproduce as I found out) but not like Hiccup.
Even after mating season ended, he still stayed with me. (Not that we were going anywhere) I'm sure he'd stay even after the eggs hatched and grew up. (in Berk, dragons aren't used to the idea of having 'one mate', mostly to preserve and etc, etc)
Mating season...even when I became the age where I could've mated with others, no one wanted to mate with me. No one wanted to anger me, like that queen. No one in their right dragon mind wanted to have hatchlings with death -so that they'd think they would die by laying eggs with me. (Which wouldn't happen, unless you got me REALLY angry, but even so...)
Hiccup...I don't think you think of me that way, but...I'm not...I'm not...
...I'm not going to hurt you.
Hiccup sat there, his hands buried into the grass, gazing into the longs blades of grass of the forest floor, their sound lost to a sudden gust of wind, almost knocking the Viking boy over.
Hiccup wiped his face dry with his left sleeve, and proceeded to stand up, using a rock as leverage for his prosthetic leg, with its loud creaks and noises as it moved in the dank, nightly clearing in the woods.
He was already wondering what to say to Toothless, guessing that each passing moment was one more moment closer for any hope of continuing their friendship becoming despondent.
It amazed him to think of just how intelligent Toothless was, being able to help in his everyday worries or just flying in sync with her. Dragons must've been the smartest animals in the world, he thought.
He started to think of all the things Toothless taught him, and he learned that even if a friend wasn't his own species, a friend is a friend, no matter who or what it was.
At first, he wasn't sure how he was so accepted now, now that he had friends and family that loved him. He wasn't any stronger than when he was ridiculed, and other than having Toothless, nothing else had really changed.
Actually...
Hiccup wiped off the last of his tear-stained cheek and looked into the heavenly starry sky. Something had changed. This time, with Toothless by his side, he realized thatall he saw those times were the bad qualities everyone mocked him for, andthe good qualities he'd tried to prove seemed to becomeless and less useful every year and eventually, he also realized he didn't believe in himself anymore.
No, he was more like a delusional man who thought if he did a miracle, everything would be great and that would be that. When he saw Toothless as a best friend after Red Death's murder, he learned the way his dragon looked at him and never wanted another rider but him. Once Toothless thought him a friend, Hiccup eventually noticed his Night Fury saw him for all the good qualities he had, without expectations to be the best, only to see him as Hiccup.
They saw the other in themselves in their dazzling, entrancing emerald eyes.
Her Hiccup, not Hiccup the useless, not Hiccup the must-become-best-Viking-ever, not Hiccup the scorned and weak, but saw him for what and who he really was. Fishlegs had realized that at sometime, guessing, saying he wanted to be the best, but all he really ended up doing was isolating himself, not standing up for himself, and Toothless taught him that -no, she helped a lot with that, but...he did it in the end, with a friend by his side.
Hiccup mouthed the words, knowing only the gods could hear such quieted words, "It's okay to be afraid, it's all right to be weak sometimes, I'm not 'survival of the fittest', but the important thing was to face my fears, face them, and overcome them." A gust blew by him, almost as if it had agreed with the Viking boy's silent words of wisdom. Facing those fears were what made him strong, even if only a little bit.
The fear he needed to face now, was the fear that plagued him for years, that this time he wouldn't let happen again with his best friend (love or not) -Rejection.
Hiccup breathed out slowly and heavily, and started walking, following his dragon's not-so-inconspicuous tracks, but even without them, Hiccup didn't have to be a magician to know where Toothless was at the moment, or what the Night Fury was doing. Hiccup knew Toothless well, Toothless knew Hiccup.
He went along Raven's peak, thinking again, they really did have a forbidden friendship, and he stopped to think about the dragoness's actions. True, her affection was a bit...far into their camaraderie, but it was a weird way of Toothless to just show how much she loved him, -the spineless, couldn't-hold-a-sword-for-his-life loser of the village. After all, though reluctant, he loved Toothless t-
!
Hiccup stopped and blushed, his prosthetic making an awkward creak as he did, "well, (cough) I mean you know, I love Toothless -being my best friend and all..."
But as a dragoness wife?
Hiccup blushed, but continued walking, so maybe he could...go half-way, "Compromise, totally. NOTHING weird about going half-way with your pet to love the-" Hiccup blushed even deeper, being stricken with understanding that what was meant to be a reassuring sentence turned into...that...
You know, the more he thought about it, Toothless was definitely the most beautiful (and nicest) dragon (girl) he'd ever met. Those ebony black scales she had, those emerald eyes surrounding an ever shifting obsidian-black pupil, even her membrane wings and milky white claws were gorgeous to him.
And that was just her physical features, not including her nice smelling-
Hiccup gagged a little, now he was going on about Toothless like that one Viking girl who wouldn't shut up about her one true love, (Who did end up marring happily with that guy somehow, Hiccup wondered) on and on about his looks, his personality, etcera, etcera!
Or like that...interesting Viking who lived in Berk as an ambassador from another Viking village who had a very...unique liking to the livestock. (He was only seven at the time, but poor him, he thought, he watched that guy in suspicion -outsiders always were weird- and saw him doing...things he didn't understand to the newly mothering sheep, adding another scar, only this one wasn't an emotional scar.)
Well, he for one was not gonna get it o... "Stop it you, you're just scaring yourself... Just give Tooth what she wants, and she -I really hope she does- will come back and act like nothing happened." He breathed heavily, shaking his head and going to where he knew Toothless was, again, as she always liked to be.
"Yeah right", Hiccup said sarcastically to no one. "Barrel of fish bets she's stuck down in the cove," he chuckled, knowing he was almost 100 percent sure that would be the Fury's location.
Hiccup walked down some more forestry, noticing the night sky was getting darker, signaling the dawn. "Better hurry up, or Astrid's gonna really give it to me!" Hiccup laughed weakly, attempting to distract his nervous self from acknowledging he had to comfort a friendly -but unpredictable- higher beast.
After more minutes of walking, his prosthetic starting to hurt from being out in the cold air and from over-daily use, he heard the unmistakeable snore of a dragon. Prosthetics can't hurt, but the skin that's around it it's fixed onto can (believe me, I know...).To Hiccup, a dragon's snore sounded like a low guttural growl going in, and a black cauldron left bubbling with the lid on, both sounds being deep in tone.
Hiccup dragged his painful fake leg a couple of feet before reaching the little cliff that overlooked the cove man and dragon befriended each other in. Even in the darkness, he still could (barely) make out a mid-sized dragon resting in the sand next to the big pond.
The Viking boy searched the area where he would walk down to greet the female Fury each day before her presence was known to anyone but him, looking for an emergency stash of fish he always kept, just in case he ever forgot to bring a satchel of fish with him.
He reached his hand out in between rocks, grabbing a small sack stuffed with less than fresh, but still good fish. He hoped Toothless wasn't too upset with him to talk...
"Quiet, quiet, don't wake her up suddenly..." Hiccup thought with caution, becoming deeply distraught when he saw the face of his snoring dragoness, unlike her usual happy slumber, had a distinct sad frown expressed all over her face, looking like she would moan in her slumber if it was possible for a dragon.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, Hiccup sneaked down the path that converged into two rock walls at the bottom, being only wide enough for someone thin, like himself and the other Viking teenagers. He saw the dragoness's tail swish back and forth, and he inwardly sighed, realizing the sleep was an act.
He spoke very slowly as he walked to Toothless, "Hey...bud...I...I..." Hiccup sighed heavily, dropping the bag of fish, and crashed onto the sand, holding his knees with his arms. He buried his face in-between his knees and heard his dragoness stand up and walk over to him. Hiccup could feel the slow, warm breaths of Toothless, right above him, onto his hair.
He felt his buddy lick him a few times near his face, hearing a whimper or two as shelicked him, and he was absolutely sure by a mile Toothless felt bad about scratching him earlier. He spread his legs out and unfurled his arms, then looked up at the Night Fury, the first dragon to befriend a Viking, and put on a half-smile. "Toothless...I...I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry you have to have an idiot as your friend, and...Don't worry about me...I'm ok." He stopped, and raised his head until he was at eye level with Toothless.
He reached out his hand to his friend's snout with a heartfelt offer of forgiving the other, "Friends?" Both of them looked deeply into the others eyes...Hiccup stared into those emerald pools of beauty, the eyes that never ceased to amaze him with their brilliance and saw the unrest melt away into a gummy smile.
Toothless rested her snout in his palm and as quickly shoved it aside and moved closer, till rider and dragon's faces were near touching each other, and Toothless thought 'Hiccup...I forgive you...I love you, as my first friend' -She flicked her tail innocently, 'of course I forgive you stupid human...don't try again or I'll eat you, ha ha...' -and her ears pointed up in amusement, somewhat feeling like it was a dream...
There were no words spoken as Toothless slowly drew back the smile as the friends gazed into another pair of shining green eyes, as if time and death suddenly meant nothing to the world, and they were off flying in their own little world...a world for man and dragon alone, where they could see without labels...
Hiccup was the first to move, almost causing Toothless to have a heart attack as he wrapped his arms around her neck, and she moved forward under his neck and rubbed against him happily. She could forgive her human easily enough, but she knew that Hiccup would still be afraid if she attacked, no matter how strong a bond they had. But even so...she was happy to know he didn't fear her, they were friends, best of friends after all.
She moved back and attempted to lick him again, and without warning -she felt Hiccup's tongue on hers, preventing her tough, long, forked tongue from reaching him. 'What was -oh! Ohh...' Toothless rumbled as Hiccup smiled and continued to lick the Night Fury's tongue, each lick stimulating the roughness of her dragon tongue. They broke apart, said nothing, thought nothing, and he made the first move again.
Tightly holding Toothless, Hiccup pushed his tongue through her mouth, tasting every kind of fish available in Berk in her mouth. Toothless grabbed hold of his back with her front paws and spread out her wings, unconsciously giving to natural instinct of wanting dominance, and pushed her mighty tongue into his mouth, tasting the distinct taste of bread, fish, and meat, causing Toothless to go hot with mating heat.
They hugged tightly, Toothless's purring causing all other sounds to be unheard as they moved their pink, fleshy tongues in sequence, fighting for dominance in their mouths. They sucked out the breath in the other, twisted and pulled on the tongue, moving it every which way and that in a kiss of unspoiled euphoria, an example of love conquering even a drastic difference in species.
They eventually ran out of breath, exhausted from the tight embrace, and let go of the other, although Hiccup kept a hand on the dragoness's neck, too exhausted to speak and think as Toothless's larger brain already had a million things running through it.
My human kissed ME! HE kissed me! He does love me...! Hiccup loves me, the Night Fury! The only human -no, my perfect other, in any species, just showed back to me...! Hiccup...I love you too...
Hiccup heard Toothless's purrs reach an epiphany, as he tiredly scratched her neck in unthinking contention. He couldn't really remember anything that happened past that, besides him riding home and his father yelling at him to go to bed earlier and slumping comfortably on the bed with Toothless taking up more than half the bed, as she always did, and kissing her snout goodnight.
Toothless gazed at his lovely face, extremely overjoyed he had done that for her, their earlier actions deemed unimportant to her at the moment. She fell asleep and dreamed what she always dreamed.
A dragoness and her rider, flying across the dazzling sky in a moment of undisturbed silence, just them.
A.N: Good news, bad news, and random news.
(Again, really sorry this came out sooo late.)
Good news is that I am back, but school started again sadly, but I should have more time than in summer (Ironically). Unfortunately, I don't have access to the web at home (;-;) so it takes time to post these. Usually after I finish up a few off-projects like games, work, and etc. Don't worry, I won't this fanfic die! Not unless I am stricken dow- …Damn it. I jinxed myself. .
Bad news, is that with school I may be occupied with homework and reports. Ugh. I am planning to do other fanfics soon too, so keep an eye out for them.
Finally, Random news. Well not really. I got FMA brotherhood on DVD today! And an Arceus and Giratina Origin forme plushies (Or whatever the hell you call 'em). Also finished FF13 and all of Fallout 3 (Just waiting for my pre-order Fallout: New Vegas collecter's edition :D) and finished Bioshock.
Oh wow, can't believe I actually finished this chapter! I'll keep updating, but the chapters might be shorter (or not) So…to keep it alive I guess if your too lazy to surf though the whole stack of fanfics -in any category- like I am. XD
So yeah, leave some constructive criticism and don't forget to review! Byes for now!